After His Peonies: A Romantic Comedy

by Alina Jacobs

  I put the documents that we needed together and stowed my laptop. I bet Karen would have a stroke if she knew I was commando under my suit.

  We arrived early at the Holbrook Enterprises tower. While we sat in the lobby to wait, I scrolled through my phone. I had several messages from my younger sisters complaining about Great-Uncle Barry.

  Minnie: Can you please move back or let us move to New York with you?

  Meg: There's no space

  Rose: It would be better than Uncle Barry

  Minnie: He never lets us do anything. And he can't cook.

  Meg: I'll see you at Christmas. Maybe we'll figure something out then.

  Karen was peering over at me, clearly annoyed at the buzzing from my phone, when a message came through. It was from Hunter. I opened it, trying to keep the smile off of my face.

  Hunter: I moved the plant.

  The text message was accompanied by a picture of a naked chest that I remembered from last night. The houseplant from the tub was strategically placed to cover a certain bulge that I was hoping to become more acquainted with tonight.

  "Who is that?" Karen hissed in my ear. I jumped, my phone clattering to the floor.

  "No one. Just spam."

  "That's why you look like a tramp, isn’t it?" Karen asked, an unholy light in her eyes. "Men like Hunter don't date girls like you. They certainly don't fall in love with girls like you. They use girls like you, then they throw them away like dirty tissues."

  "I'm going to the restroom," I mumbled.

  "Good," Karen said. "Try to make yourself look less like someone who sleeps around with rich men just so they'll buy her flowers and cheap trinkets."

  I rushed to the bathroom. When I walked in, I gave myself a good long look in the mirror. I didn't have much makeup on, only what I'd had in my purse. My hair looked frizzy because I hadn’t had my blow-dryer or usual hair products. My suit was rumpled. This morning, I had felt sexy and carefree, like a real New York girl, but as I looked in the mirror I thought, Who was I kidding?

  "Meg!"

  "Kate?"

  I hugged my roommate as she walked into the restroom.

  "Is the hot water back on?" Kate asked. "Walter and I just got back from Seattle early this morning. I haven't had a chance to head back to the apartment."

  "Uh, I'm not sure," I admitted.

  "Was it on this morning?"

  "I'm not sure?" I tried to keep the guilt off of my face.

  "Where were you last night?" Kate asked. "Wait, don't tell me—you were with Hunter, weren't you?"

  I nodded, grinning at the memory.

  "You have to tell me everything!"

  I recapped the last day and a half in a hushed whisper. Kate's mouth formed a round O as I spoke.

  "You're not wearing any underwear?" she shrieked, and I clapped a hand over her mouth. She pushed it away. "Bad girl. I can't believe you just left your underwear at his condo."

  "I know! What was I thinking?" I groaned.

  "Who are you and what did you do with Meghan," Kate said, feeling my forehead. "What happened to all your dating rules? You know—three dinner dates, two coffee dates, and a work lunch date before you did the big S-E-triple-X."

  I looked up at the ceiling with a dopey smile on my face.

  "He bought me flowers, and he was very…" I thought about his tongue on all the right places. "…persuasive. Besides, I didn't really sleep with him."

  Kate’s eyebrows almost shot up off of her face. "So what were you doing? Did you give him a blow job?" I bit my lip and shook my head.

  "Did he…?" I nodded. "Ohmygod!" Kate exclaimed, "And you said you didn't want anyone to go down on you!"

  "Shhh!" I said while Kate jumped up and down.

  "I can't imagine why that was even a rule," I mused.

  Kate laughed. "So he went down on you, and then?"

  "And it was amazing and then I fell asleep," I admitted.

  Kate doubled over laughing and clapped her hands. "That is too much! You're my spirit animal."

  "I'm under a lot of stress. Plus he's under the impression that we're going to be making it whole, so to speak, tonight."

  "Are you?"

  "I have no reason to dissuade him of the notion," I said. "I just have to survive this meeting first."

  Kate made a face. "Karen."

  "Yep. Also," I pulled out my phone, "she saw this."

  Kate studied the picture of Hunter's chest and well-placed houseplant. "I see how you would throw all your rules out the window for this."

  I thought about her words as I furiously typed notes during the meeting. Was I throwing all caution to the wind? Was this a calculated risk or something that was going to blow up in my face later?

  When I returned to the office, there was a bouquet waiting for me on my desk along with an envelope. Karen looked over at me angrily.

  "Who are the flowers from?" Kelly and another one of the associates asked as she came over to my desk. I pulled out the card.

  Sorry it’s only peonies and there's no chocolate.

  "From Hunter!" Kelly said, eyes wide.

  She and her friend looked from me to Karen.

  "There was never anything real going on between Hunter and me," Karen said, nostrils flaring. "He's shallow and has terrible taste."

  I tucked the envelope into my purse then went to the restroom. Locking myself in a stall, I quietly opened it and smiled. Inside was a sexy pair of black panties. They were of nicer quality than the ones I'd left at his house.

  I decided to break another of my rules and snapped a shot of me wearing them, pushing them slightly to the side so the camera lens could see the glistening pink flesh.

  I attached the picture to a text message to Hunter.

  Meg: They're already wet.

  I knew I shouldn't sext, but for some reason I trusted Hunter. My heart pounded while I waited for a response.

  The reply came after a minute.

  Hunter: You can tell how good a lawyer is by how well they present their case. You drive a hard bargain and now I want to drive something hard into you.

  16

  Hunter

  I practically fell to my knees when Meg sent me that picture. If I didn't get to fuck her tonight, someone needed to just shoot me, because I wasn’t going to survive.

  I was waiting for her on the sidewalk when she left the office. The town car I had hired idled nearby.

  "Thanks for the flowers," she said when she saw me. I didn't say anything, just kissed her. "You can have my peonies anytime," I told her after I was done reacquainting myself with her mouth.

  She laughed then pulled my head back down. "I think I want it right now."

  "This is a public street," I exclaimed, practically pushing her into the waiting car. I really needed her in my bed right now.

  "I thought we were going out for drinks and a twelve-course tasting menu," she said.

  "You're my tasting menu," I growled. She shoved me off.

  "The driver's right there," she hissed. Her breath against my ear made me shiver.

  "Considering the picture you sent me earlier, I thought you had thrown all caution out the window."

  "You sent me an even worse picture," she said, taking out her phone and shoving it in my face.

  "That's not even me."

  "It's not?" She blinked.

  "I'm joking. But this." I pulled out the picture of her. "I know this is you. I spent quite a lot of time down there. I'm intimately familiar."

  "Well, if you need to refamiliarize yourself, I'm always willing."

  The look she gave me shot straight through me. "How about now?" I growled.

  Her phone shrieked.

  "Ugh, it's Karen," she said, answering the phone.

  "Ferret-faced Karen?"

  "Shhh," she said.

  "Tell her you're about to have chocolate-covered pe—" She clamped a hand over my mouth.

  "Hi, Karen. Do you need me to come back to the office?"

 
No. I shook my head. Meg had been consuming my thoughts all day, and the picture she had texted me, wearing the panties I'd sent her, the dark-pink slit glistening, had spun me into overdrive. There was only one thing I wanted.

  "Yes," Meg sighed. "I'll have some nicer clothes on Monday. Yes, I know I'm on probation, and I do want to be an associate. I am taking this seriously."

  I heard a slightly hysterical edge in her tone. I swore that if Karen ruined this for me, I was going to rain down hellfire on that woman.

  "What was that about?" I asked when Meg ended the call. She slumped against me.

  "Karen is driving me crazy. She says I don't dress well enough. Now she wants me to go buy a bunch of new clothes."

  "But you were wearing very nice panties today."

  Meghan rolled her eyes. "They were nice, thank you. But she wants me to have nice shoes and suits. Like they pay the interns enough."

  "You're a lawyer. You shouldn't be an intern," I countered.

  "The job market is oversaturated with inexperienced lawyers," she retorted.

  "I thought you went to Yale."

  "Yeah." She sighed. "I think maybe I should have held out for a better position. Harrington-Thurlow was the first place to make me a job offer, or rather an internship offer." She shook her head. "I just was too scared to take my chances and wait for something else."

  Meghan looked slightly sad. I could feel my plans for tonight slipping through my fingers. I wasn't giving up without a fight, though. I told the driver to take us to 5th Avenue.

  "Why?" Meg asked.

  "We're going to buy you some really nice clothes that will make Karen jealous."

  And get me laid.

  The car dropped us off in front of a high-end boutique.

  "As someone who's been in the law and general business world for years, I think of myself as somewhat of an expert in sexy business attire," I told Meghan as we approached the large glass-and-iron doors.

  "Do you?" Meghan said.

  I nodded. "There's nothing more attractive than a woman in a skirt suit and a nice pair of heels."

  I let my hand drift down her back to the split in the skirt. "It's even better when she's not wearing underwear underneath."

  "I can't believe I did that," she muttered.

  "Did you break one of your rules?"

  "Yes, I did."

  "What's the worst that can happen?" I asked as we walked into the shop.

  "Some horrible man could stick his hand under your skirt."

  "What horrible men are sticking their hands under your skirt?" I snarled, my thoughts turning to Charles Thurlow. I knew he was a womanizer, and if he had touched her—

  "Calm down," Meg said, patting my arm. "You’re the only man putting his hand under my skirt."

  I smiled, feeling very self-satisfied. "That's right," I said.

  Meg flipped through the suits.

  "Why don't I just go to an outlet store? I can't afford this," Meg said.

  "First off, no, you need the big guns. Second, don't worry, I’m paying."

  "I'm not after your money," she said, raising her hands defensively.

  I grabbed her hands and kissed each one. "But I am trying to return to my happy place, which is under your skirt."

  "So you're trying to bribe me to have sex with me," she said, raising an eyebrow.

  "Uh, no," I said. "You completely misunderstand me. I am trying to solve your Karen problem so that when I am eating you out, you will only be thinking of me and not of crazy Karen trying to ruin your life." Meg wrinkled her nose. I kissed her. "Trust me," I whispered against her mouth. "Besides, I stole your sandwich. I think I owe you for that."

  "You've more than made up for it," she countered. But she turned back to continue looking through the suits and blouses.

  "Try on this navy one, and this black one," I said. "And these two charcoal ones."

  "They look the same," Meg said.

  "The patterns are subtly different, see? This is a slightly larger herringbone, and it has a bit of green. It brings out the emerald in your eyes. Don't get the pinstripe," I told her before she could reach for it. "That's a little Real Housewives of the Potomac. You want high-powered, man-eating lawyer."

  "There's only one man I want to eat," she said with a wink.

  Score, I thought. Tonight is going to be a success.

  I pulled several blouses for her to try on. The fabrics were soft and supple. And all I could think about was how her breasts would feel under them.

  I watched her walk out of the dressing room in one of the suits. It fit her like a glove. The pencil skirt accentuated her hips and drew my eye up to her waist and settled on her tits framed by the open jacket. She did a slow turn for me.

  All I could think about was bending her over, pushing up the skirt, and fucking her.

  "Could you have these altered?" I asked the sales associate.

  "They fit fine," Meghan protested.

  "We have higher standards than fine," I told her as the assistant added a few pins to the suit.

  "But I need them by Monday," Meghan said.

  "We can rush the alterations. It's not much at all," the associate said. "You have a nicely proportional figure."

  "She does have a perfect figure," I said, grinning at Meg until her scowl softened.

  "Are you sure?" Meg said when the sales associate rang up the suits and blouses and she saw the total. "That's a lot of money."

  I handed over my credit card. "Not for me. Have them delivered to this address when they're done, please."

  Meg was relaxed against me as we walked down the street. She stopped and turned me to look at her.

  "Thank you," she said, pulling me down by the lapels to kiss me.

  "My pleasure. And it will be your pleasure tonight."

  "Something about watching you hand over your big, thick credit card really turned me on," she whispered in my ear. "I guess I'm a shallow, horrible person after all." She stepped back.

  "Don't tell me you just broke another of your rules," I said, trying not to let my frustration show.

  "Yes, in fact, I did. No accepting expensive purchases until—" She stopped.

  "Until when?" I prodded. "Until marriage? Until you've had enough dates?"

  "Until, well, until we've had sex five times."

  "Fine," I said. "We'll check that off the list tonight. Your rules should apply to a twenty-four-hour period. We have four more to go since we already had sex once."

  "I mean, not really."

  "You were naked in my bed, and I had my face in your—"

  She pulled me down to silence me with a kiss. "We're on a public street."

  "So if I make you come four more times," I whispered, "that should satisfy your rules. And you."

  I could tell she was still tense as we continued to walk down the street.

  "How many more orgasms do I have to give you tonight to buy you some shoes?" I asked as we stopped in front of a designer shoe store.

  "I can't accept this!" she practically shrieked. "Louboutin heels are freaking expensive!"

  "When a man likes a woman, he wants to buy her things because he wants to make her happy," I told her seriously.

  "I don't need material things to make me happy," she said.

  "Then buy them for me. It will make me very happy to see you in them."

  "We'll just look," she said as we went inside. The sales associate brought out shoes for her to try.

  "Maybe I'm developing a foot fetish," I said as she paraded back and forth in front of me in the high heels.

  The flash of red on the back side of the shoes tantalized me every time she walked past, turning on the ball of her foot.

  "I think you need a pair of black ones and nude ones," the sales associate said.

  Meghan looked as if she were going to clam up when she saw the total on the register.

  "These are buy-it-for-life shoes," the sales associate said as I handed her my credit card. "If you keep these well main
tained, you could have them for decades. They're investment pieces."

  "Exactly," I told Meg as I picked up the bag. "Also," I said as we walked out of the store. "The money is worth it if I get to bend you over the counter and fuck you while you wear nothing but the shoes."

  17

  Meghan

  The thought of Hunter fucking me, my ass in the air and my feet in those shoes, was enough for me to tell him, "Let's go back to your apartment."

  Hunter pulled me into a waiting town car and proceeded to nibble warm kisses along my neck and collarbone until I was so dizzy with desire I could barely think straight. It wasn't enough to make me throw all caution completely out the window, however.

  "What?" he whispered. "You can't tell me one of your rules is no sex in the back of a town car."

  I slapped his hand away.

  "You know," he said, letting his hand caress my knee, "those sales clerks were pretty nice. I'm glad we were able to get your stuff tailored."

  I felt his hand drift up my leg under my skirt. "They'll send it to your apartment. They probably use one of the tailors on 34th Street…" His hand was up high, and I inadvertently shifted to give him better access. I could see him grin in the dark as his fingers slipped into the hot, wet folds.

  I hoped the driver didn't notice, especially since Hunter was keeping up a stream of inane conversation. I bit down a moan and pushed his hand away.

  "That was a quick ride," he said as the driver pulled up in front of his building. He tipped him then helped me out of the car.

  "I hope you wiped your hand before you gave him the money," I scolded.

  "Of course. Licked it clean."

  I made a face, and he caressed my backside lightly as he greeted the security guard in the lobby.

  As soon as we stumbled into his apartment, Hunter dropped the bags on the floor. One large hand pulled my face up to his, and he began kissing me. The other hand gripped my hip tightly, reminding me he was in charge.