Everything

by Williams, Jeri

  “Okay, first, I’m with you on the smell. And second, she did say something to me, but it’s not worth repeating.”

  “Yes it is. You’ve been in your head since we left Opal’s, and it’s not about the will, so don’t lie to me. Please.” She reached over and put her hand on mine and squeezed, and for the first time today I was reminded of Mom.

  “She implied that her and Tre—”

  “Ah, don’t invoke his name!” she hissed.

  “What the hell was I thinking?” I said, rolling my eyes. “Anyway, she implied that she and he had sex.”

  “You don’t believe her, do you?” She looked at me like I was starring in my own version of crazy-town, which I was starting to think I was.

  We had pulled up to our house now, and I turned off the car and turned to her. “I don’t know what to believe anymore, A. I thought he loved me, and I was wrong about that, so I am kinda questioning everything right now.” I shrugged.

  “Yeah, but come on. Think about it. Even he was not that stupid. Shannon? Really? She is the town slut, for crying out loud. Even the town hobo wouldn’t do her! I know he-who-must-not-be-named is a jerk and I can’t believe I’m actually defending him right now, but I don’t think he would have slept or will ever sleep with her. He’s just not that desperate. I mean, why would he want to when he had you?”

  “Exactly, he had me and he didn’t want me, A,” I said sadly.

  “Well, what the eff does he know? Stupid Trevor. Shit!” She slapped her hand over her mouth at the slip.

  “You just invoked his name,” I teased.

  “I know, stupid Aria!”

  I laughed and got out of the car and went inside. It felt good to talk to her about it even though the obsessive part of me was still dwelling on the fact that he didn’t want me and he had never loved me, but I didn’t let myself dwell on it for too long because if I did, hello cave, and I had promised myself.

  We had just finished dinner, shepherd’s pie that Mrs. D sent with Tina, when the doorbell rang. People were still stopping by from time to time to check in on us, but the visits were getting scarce as the time passed. I went to get the door, prepared to tell whatever well-wisher that we were fine, and was surprised to find Riley on our doorstep, so soon after last night’s bedroom showdown.

  “Hi, Dacey, you look particularly not murderous tonight.” He laughed nervously.

  “Riley, what are you doing here?” I asked acidly. Even though I was not actually mad at him, I still had to give him shit for being in my sister’s bedroom.

  “Aria said you weren’t mad.” His smile faltered a bit.

  “Aria was lulled into a false sense of security, just like you,” I said, stepping outside and closing the door behind me. Riley was a good foot and some inches taller than me, but that didn’t stop me from getting right in his face on my tiptoes.

  “I’m only going to say this once, so listen up. I know that you’re a good guy, and I know that your intentions with my sister are good. But I also know that you’re a guy and sometimes guys are stupid. Don’t be stupid about my sister, Riley, or I will hurt you.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, but I held my hand up to stop him.

  “I’m not done. Furthermore, don’t defile my sister in front of me. I don’t want to see it. If my dad were alive, you would have had to meet him and go through a far greater grilling than this, so consider this getting off easy. And lastly, thank you. You were there for her when I couldn’t be, when she needed someone and I...I just wasn’t, so thank you. You’re a great friend, and I’d hate to have to cut the balls off of one of my friends.”

  “Wow, okay, how am I supposed to follow that?” he joked nervously.

  I shrugged and backed up, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the door.

  “I didn’t intend to like Aria so much. It kinda just happened. I mean, she’s one of my best friends’ sister. It’s kind of an off-limits thing, but she has this thing about her and it’s kind of hard to stay away. And I have been nothing but respectful because she hasn’t even noticed that I liked her like that, and I don’t even know if she likes me like that. And even if she did, I would never hurt her. Not all guys are him, Dacey—he’s an asshole to not see how awesome you are and what he had.”

  “You are such a girl right now.”

  “And you’re deflecting.”

  “I know, but you’re still a girl. And A knows and the feeling is mutual, so yeah.”

  He got the biggest grin on his face like he just won the lottery, and I think in his mind, he thought he did. I gave him a hug—shocker, I know. What the hell was happening to me? I was hugging people. Even Riley knew it was not normal for me.

  “Whoa, are you going to kill me now?”

  “Shut up, and just go with it.”

  “Uuuh, okay, but you are kinda freaking me out.”

  “You sure know how to ruin an epic moment,” I said, letting him go and stepping back.

  “Maybe warn a guy the next time you’re gonna go all twilight zone on me.”

  “That defeats the purpose of it being epic, you dumb ass.”

  “True, but I won’t be freaked.” He laughed shakily. “No, really, what was that for?” He tried to pacify me, seeing I was sincere in my attempt.

  “Because I know that you are going to cherish the hell out of her, and that you’re not like him.” I added the last part quietly because the feeling in my stomach was threatening to come back.

  “Oh, well, in that case, bring it on.” He opened his arms wide and made a beckoning motion with his fingers.

  “No, the moment is lost. I’m over it now.” Turning, I went inside but turned around and smiled to show I was kidding.

  “Aria, you have company!” I called, with him following right behind me.

  She came from around the corner and then immediately blushed.

  “Oh, hi, Riley.”

  It’s Riley now, is it?

  “Hello, Aria,” he said, all dreamy-like.

  “Dude, you have a little drool right here.” I pointed to his chin.

  “Dacey,” Aria chastised.

  “Yeah, I’m going to my room, which is right down the hall, and I’ll have the door open because you two will be in here, in the living room, talking. Got it?” I gave a knowing look to Riley, and he tore his eyes away from Aria long enough to nod once, then they went into the living room.

  “Ugh, whatever,” I said as I headed to my room. I finished up the rest of my assignments from school and tried to write some more of my final creative writing paper, but my mind just wasn’t on it. It was on Shannon and Trevor. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it off of the possibility that what she said was true. Needing a distraction, I picked up my phone and texted Tina to see what she was doing, but she was in a study group and couldn’t talk. I scrolled through my phone and saw Justin’s name and decided what the heck? We were friends, right?

  Hi

  Hello

  R u busy

  Not at all

  Not out chasing cars?

  At the moment no

  Now that I had him, I didn’t really know what to say. While I was trying to think of something, another text came through.

  Dacey?

  Yea?

  R u ok?

  Yea just...

  Need 2 talk?

  Yea

  Two second later, my phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “So what do you want to talk about?” he asked, his voice deep as if he was lying down.

  “Um, I don’t know,” I lied.

  “Really? You seem to have something on your mind. Talk to me, Dacey,” he coaxed.

  “How can you tell if I have something on my mind? You barely know me.”

  “True, but I can read people fairly well. It’s one of my many talents.” I could tell he was smirking.

  “What are the other talents?”

  “Getting people to tell me what’s on their minds.”r />
  “Hum, I’ll admit you are good at that,” I said, thinking back to days ago when I had basically spilled my guts to him about everything.

  “I’m pretty good at most of my talents.”

  Was he...? No, he couldn’t be.

  “So what’s on your mind, Dacey?” he asked again, covering up his obvious flirt.

  “I ran into the town slut today, who basically said she had sex with Trevor, and now I’m obsessing over it like some jealous ex-girlfriend,” I rushed out.

  “First of all, breathe. Second of all, you have a town slut? Wow.”

  “Small town, remember—we have a town everything.”

  “Did she say if it was before or after you guys were broken up?”

  “She didn’t say.”

  “And I’m guessing this town slut has never been your BFF, right?”

  “Actually, no, she hated me since we started going out. How did you guess?”

  “Seen the type before, not to defend your d-bag of an ex,” he spat out, “but I’m pretty sure she said what she said to get under your skin because my guess is she wanted him, he said no, you guys were together, then not. She asked, he still said no. She got pissed and wanted to hurt you more than you already were hurt.”

  “How is it my fault he turned her down? He didn’t want me, either. If anything, we kinda belong to the same weird ‘not wanted by Trevor club.’”

  “There is no club,” he said simply. “Don’t give him that kind of status.”

  “I guess,” I said, deflated, not fully believing it.

  “Listen, I’m a guy, so I know these things. Why buy the cow if the milk is free?”

  “God, you sound like my mom.”

  “Is that a good thing?”

  “It’s a good thing,” I said, smiling into the phone.

  We talked some more. I told him about the mom-ism, and then I told him about Aria and me coming to Orlando again tomorrow. He insisted we all meet up for lunch again after we finished with the lawyer.

  “What is it with you and lunch?” I asked when he wouldn’t let up.

  “We can make it breakfast, but I didn’t think we had graduated to sleepovers yet.”

  Not knowing what to say, I didn’t say anything, and when the silence went on for a full minute, I heard a deep rumble on the other end.

  “Dacey, I’m kidding. Breathe.”

  “Shut up,” I said lamely, having nothing else witty to say.

  He laughed.

  “Why do you do that?” I asked him when he finally stopped laughing.

  “Do what? Make you laugh, smile?”

  “Yeah, that,” I said. Not that, but we’ll go with it, I thought.

  “Because I like to know you’re smiling. You deserve to smile.”

  “You can’t possibly know when I smile over the phone,” I pointed out.

  “It’s proven that you can hear a smile over the phone.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Can you not tell every time I have smiled tonight?” he challenged.

  “Okay, you got me,” I said, smiling.

  “See, there it is,” he said.

  “Shut up.” My smile widened.

  “Oh, wow, that’s a big one.”

  “Okay, I’m hanging up now.” I was laughing now.

  “Okay, call me tomorrow, Southern belle.”

  “Sure thing, JP,” I said, smiling as I hung up.

  I was still smiling when I went out to suggest that it was time for Riley to leave as well because we had to leave early for Orlando tomorrow.

  “Why are you all smiley?” Aria noticed as she got up to walk Riley to the door.

  “I’m not. Good night, Riley,” I said and turned to leave before I could see how they said good-bye now that they were a couple.

  “Night, Dac, or should I call you sis-in-la—”

  “Riley, if you finish that sentence, keep in mind that I have made friends with a cop. Who carries a gun.”

  “Ohh, that’s what the smile is about. Officer Parks.” Aria grinned.

  “Shut up, Aria, we are friends. I’ll see you in the morning.” I went to my room before she could say anything else. We were just friends. I know that everyone wanted me to jump right back on the proverbial dating horse, but it just wasn’t going to happen. I couldn’t even think about kissing another guy without thinking I was cheating on Trevor, which was twisted and fucked up because he was definitely kissing another girl and not thinking about me in the least. But I guess that was the difference with having actually been in love with someone and not just pretending. I allowed myself to mourn my relationship. I was scared that deep down I might always feel this way, broken and never truly able to give my heart fully because Trevor still had a piece of it, and it wasn’t fair. I wanted it back.

  * * *

  I awoke the next morning with a killer headache, and the sun was way too bright in the sky. I hadn’t gotten enough sleep with dreams of Trevor and Shannon laughing at me while they were doing...things. Rolling off the bed, I got up and went to the bathroom to get ready, splashing some water on my face.

  “You’re better off without him. He’s a dick,” I said to my reflection.

  I looked at myself closely for the first time in what seemed like months. My once ice-blue eyes seemed dull and sunken into my pale face. My black hair, once shiny, was now dull and hung flat around my face. I looked like shit.

  “Who are you kidding? He is a dick, but if he called you now, you’d go.” Sighing to myself, I brushed my teeth and went to finish getting ready, not allowing myself to dwell any longer and focus on today’s event.

  Aria was already in the kitchen when I entered, drinking her usual OJ. “Morning,” she said cheerily.

  “Hey,” I said wearily.

  “Uh-oh, bad night?” she asked, noting my mood.

  “Didn’t sleep well.”

  “Are you nervous about what’s in the will?”

  “No.” I grabbed some bread and put two slices in the toaster.

  “I am. Our whole lives could change today,” she said excitedly.

  “A, Mom and Dad were not secret millionaires, okay?” I rolled my eyes.

  “Hey, let me dream that something good can come from this nightmare, okay?” she said petulantly.

  “Okay, dream big, little sis,” I said, taking my toast and eating it plain, something I had always done since I was a kid because I found jelly gross.

  “Just so you know, in my mind, my cut is bigger.”

  “And in my mind, I’d kill you and take your cut.”

  “That is kind of hard, since I know five types of fighting styles.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I have a gun,” I said between chews.

  “Whatever, Dacey, let’s go. You always cheat at this game,” she said moodily, giving up and leaving the kitchen.

  “Oh, come on,” I trailed behind her, laughing. I enjoyed one-upping her until she gave up and got all red in the face and flustered. I had been doing it since we were kids.

  “One of these days, pow, right in the kisser!” She wagged her fist in front of her face.

  “You have been hanging around Riley way too much.” I cringed at her reference to The Honeymooners.

  “I have, right?” she laughed. “But I didn’t get that from Riley. I got that from my acting class. We watched old episodes of The Honeymooners and studied acting techniques from back in the day. I kinda liked it.”

  “Speaking of Ri-Ri, since when is he Riley now?” I gave her a teasing grin.

  She turned beet red. “Dacey, don’t be weird.” She slapped my arm.

  “What? Traditionally the pet names are supposed to come when the relationship starts. Didn’t you start backwards?” I couldn’t keep the laugh from my voice.

  “Ri-Ri is so juvenile.”

  “Since when? Two days ago?”

  “Exactly!” she exclaimed, wide-eyed and totally serious.

  “A, I don’t think it would matter what you call him. He’d pre
tty much come a-runnin’.”

  “So I could call him boo-boo the dog-faced boy, and he’d be fine with that?”

  “Without a doubt.” I laughed.

  She looked as though she was actually contemplating this idea. Poor Riley. He had his hands full with her.

  We grabbed our things and headed out, deciding to take Aria’s car, since I was tired.

  “You just want to text Officer Parks the whole way there,” she cooed at me.

  “Actually, I don’t. I told you I didn’t sleep well, and I’m tired.”

  “Tired from staying up all night with Officer Parks,” she mumbled.

  Ignoring her, I climbed in the front passenger seat and buckled up, making sure she saw me put my phone in my purse.

  “He’ll text you,” she said in a singsongy voice.

  Rolling my eyes, I adjusted my seat and lay my head back on the headrest as she backed out of the driveway. A few minutes into the drive, she turned down the song that was blasting from her iPod, thank god, but it meant she wanted to talk.

  “So my play is in three days,” she said breezily.

  My eyes popped open. “What? Why didn’t you say something sooner?” I practically yelled.

  “Well, you’ve been busy, and I didn’t think it was that big a deal, Dac.” She shrank at the face I made and focused very intently on the road.

  “Of course it’s a big deal, and yeah, I’ve been...busy, but I...Well, shit...” I trailed off, not knowing what else to say. She was right, with me being all emo lately and then dealing with Opal, she had kind of fallen to the wayside. “A, I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I can say it, but I am.”

  “It’s okay. It’s not like I was the best sister ever before...before the report, so we’re even.”

  “We’re fire and ice,” I mused.

  “What?” Aria asked, confused.

  “Us, we are fire and ice—how we deal with things. You lash out like a fire at everything and everyone, and me, I freeze everyone out like—”

  “Ice,” Aria finished, catching on. “I see what you did there.”

  “Wait, does this mean that one of us will end the world?” She laughed.

  I looked at her straight-faced. “I’m serious, you dork.”