A Game of COURAGE

by Lena Hart

  He cursed then released her. He snatched the jacket from her limp hand and jerked it on. “Mia, do yourself a favor and get your head out of the clouds,” he snapped. “I know what I want, but I won’t be manipulated into having you.”

  His words hurt because if he thought she would resort to such tactics just to keep him, he would be sadly mistaken. Obviously, he didn’t know her as well as she’d hoped.

  “Trust me, you won’t ever have to worry about that.”

  He stared down at her long and hard. Without another word, he slammed out of her tiny apartment.

  2

  Nate had arrived in California in a bad mood and would leave it with a splitting headache.

  He sat at the hotel bar, cradling his third drink between his palms. His trip to California had been a waste. The distribution company he had come to check out, with hopes of financing, turned out to be a bust. They were less structured and efficient than they presented themselves to be. Nate had canceled their final meeting and made arrangements to fly back to Chicago first thing tomorrow morning, where he would meet with his father that afternoon.

  Nate clenched his jaw tight. He hated being summoned and his father knew it. The first half of his life had been spent with a father who seemed to take pleasure in undermining him—when he wasn’t ignoring him—and with a mother who, when she was around, treated him like a burden. Nate eventually learned to keep his distance, until his father demanded his presence or found some use for him.

  Normally he would prolong his father’s request for a meeting, but since he was leaving California early anyway, Nate decided to get their meeting over with. But if he were to be completely honest with himself, Nate would admit that he craved to see her, which was the real reason he wanted to be back in Chicago.

  Tonight, however, he wasn’t in the mood for honesty’s company.

  She was the one who had given him the ultimatum and suggested they “take a break.” Now she would have to be the one to come to him if she wanted them to be together.

  He downed the rest of his drink and ordered another. His pathetic attempt to forget about Mia for just one night was not working. The more he drank, the more he thought about her.

  So tonight, he would indulge.

  “I won’t be responsible for what happens to you if you keep that up,” Fred Carlson said, staring pointedly at his drink.

  Nate turned to his lawyer and longtime family friend with a smirk. “I thought I told you to take the night off, Fred.”

  Fred sat on the stool beside him. “I haven’t taken a night off since I started working for you and your father. Why start now?”

  Nate grunted. “In that case, have a drink with me.” Nate ordered two shots and slid one to the older man.

  When Fred continued to stare at him in a way that made him feel like a defiant little boy, Nate raised his glass in salute and tossed back his drink.

  Fred’s graying brows furrowed. “Nate, I’ve known you long enough to know you only drink like this after an argument with your father. But since you’ve been with me all day, there’s something else making you act like an ass.”

  Nate turned away from Fred’s concerned face. Fred was the only man in his life that he had been able to count and rely on. At twelve years old, Fred came into his life and showed him what it was like to have someone pay attention to him. He never looked through him or ignored him as his parents had. As Nate grew into manhood with his own dreams and ambitions, Fred became his close friend and advisor, as well as an integral part of helping him establish himself as an angel investor.

  Fred understood his need for independence from his father and the “family business,” and with Fred’s help, Nate went on to make some lucrative investments. During this wasted trip, Fred had learned about a technology company that showed promise and could potentially be another profitable opportunity. An informal lunch meeting with the founder of Mercury Horizon was already scheduled for early next week.

  But tonight, Nate didn’t want any advisement and he certainly didn’t need Fred to make him feel even more stupid than he already did. Stupid for thinking he could actually be happy.

  “Are you and Mia having problems?” Fred asked. “I’ve been with you for two days and you haven’t mentioned her once.”

  Nate didn’t want to talk about Mia. He couldn’t remember the last time another woman other than his mother made him feel…abandoned. He was hurt and the alcohol was a soothing, numbing balm.

  “Good night, Fred,” he said, reaching for the untouched glass between them.

  Fred pulled it away. “It’s a wonder you and Charles don’t get along,” he snapped. “You’re as bullheaded as he is, only more pathetic.”

  Nate’s jaw clenched. Fred knew all the right buttons to push. Nate flashed his friend a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “And like him, I pay you for your legal advice. Nothing else. Certainly not for any of your fatherly advice.”

  Fred stared at him blankly and said nothing. Nate cursed. Even in his alcohol-induced state, he knew he had crossed the line. Fred and his wife had spent years trying to have a baby until they eventually stopped trying. There had been a time long ago where Nate had secretly wished he’d been Fred’s son. Now, because of his stupidity and careless tongue, he had unintentionally opened old wounds.

  “Listen, Fred—”

  “No, you listen,” he interrupted. “Want some legal advice? Here it is. Man-up and get over yourself. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, which I’m guessing is your girlfriend, you need to deal with it and quick. Either call her or get over her. Turning into a drunken ass isn’t doing you any favors, and it would be a damn shame to see what little you’ve built up go to shit because you couldn’t practice some self-control.”

  Fred got up and slid the shot glass to him, the content sloshing dangerously close to the edge. “And that little legal advice is on the house,” Fred retorted as he walked past him.

  Nate looked down at the brown liquid then pushed the glass aside as Fred’s parting words ran through his muddled brain. Fred was right. He had to deal with this or end up drinking himself into a stupor each night.

  It had only been two days yet he missed her greatly. A part of him wanted nothing more than to call her, to hear her voice. Mia had been like no other woman he’d dated before. She was sweetness and sass all wrapped into a sexy, feminine frame. Despite her flair for the romantic, which he had found endearing on occasion, she had been his dream girl.

  Obviously, what they had wasn’t enough for her though. He should have known she would eventually expect the white dress and diamond ring, but he had hoped she’d be more practical and sensible. They were happier than any married couple he knew of and she knew far more single and divorced people than he did, which should have been enough to show her the insignificance of marriage.

  Her irrationality aggravated him. If she thought he’d agree to marriage and enter into the kind of arrangement his parents had been in for thirty years, she would be greatly disappointed.

  In a way, it was a good thing that this all had come out now before he had gotten in any deeper than he already was, he reminded himself.

  The numbness of the alcohol was wearing off, but he wanted nothing more than to rest his fuzzy, yet crowded, mind.

  Nate paid his tab, leaving the still full shot glass untouched. He managed to make it back to his room without faltering, though it took some effort. He and Fred had to be up early for their flight tomorrow, and he would have to think of the apology he owed his friend. But first, he needed to work on burying images of large chocolate brown eyes and soft, full lips to the deepest part of his mind.

  Mia bit down her lower lip as she lay on the vinyl clinic bed, wearing nothing but the thin, pink gown the nurse had handed her earlier. She waited for her doctor to probe her with the uncomfortable looking instrument. She looked away and her eyes fell on the illustrated poster of a woman in various stages of her pregnancy. The drawing had an image of what a fetus l
ooked like as it developed each month. The image of the barely developed fetuses, with the underdeveloped features, held her captivated.

  Was that how their baby looked right now? She unconsciously placed her hand over her belly. If she had to guess, she would have said she was about six to eight weeks pregnant. It must have happened sometime during the week she and Nate had spent in Galena for his birthday. They had rented a vacation home and sometime during that week, they made this baby. But Mia couldn’t regret that moment. It had been an unforgettable time that had resulted in an unexpected gift.

  “This is an ultrasound transducer,” Dr. Erica Ellis explained, drawing her attention back to the long, white narrow device she held. “It’s used for transvaginal ultrasound, which is going to help us determine your due date and make sure everything’s in working order for you and the baby.”

  Mia flinched when the doctor inserted the cold object inside her. She looked away, wanting more than anything for Nate to be by her side. Instead, he was two time zones away. Seeing as their relationship was coming to an end, what she wanted didn’t matter. A small part of her had hoped he would realize his mistake and come running back to her. Or at least call. He did neither. It was Thursday, three days since he’d left her apartment, and she was fast losing her illusion that he was interested in having a future with her.

  Her throat tightened as sadness washed over her. What should have been a joyful occasion in her life only left her feeling miserable and alone. She had always dreamed of sharing this moment with her husband. To have him hold her hand, smiling with joy as they watched their new baby grow inside her. Instead, at twenty-four, she was facing motherhood on her own. No husband…no Nate. She couldn’t stop the sheen of tears that filled her eyes. Her mother had struggled to raise her and her sister alone and Mia didn’t want the same thing to happen to her.

  “Mia? Are you okay?”

  Mia nodded, smiling through her tears. “Yes. I think it’s just the hormones.”

  Dr. Ellis nodded in understanding. The older, black woman was serene and graceful, her movements unhurried. Her black hair was pulled into a severe bun at her nape, but her smile was relaxed and gentle, which helped ease some of Mia’s discomfort.

  “You hear that?” she asked in a whisper. “That’s the baby’s heart beating.”

  Mia looked at the black-and-white grainy movement on the screen beside her. She held her breath and listened. At the sound of the soft, pulsing beat, her sadness and misery immediately fell away.

  As Dr. Ellis walked her through every little movement, Mia stared at the small life form budding inside her. A life she and Nate had created. Though her heart ached for the man she loved, it also filled with a love so strong, a protection so fierce, it literally took her breath away. She would do whatever she needed to do for this baby.

  Thankfully, the invasive exam didn’t take as long as she’d expected and soon Dr. Ellis was done with her probing. Mia sat up, tugging the thin gown down. As she’d suspected, Nate had gotten her pregnant during their week together in Galena. She was about eight weeks pregnant and if everything went well, she would be holding her baby in her arms in January.

  “You and the baby both seem to be in good health,” Dr. Ellis began. “But the first trimester can be the most vulnerable for new mothers so I want you to be careful.” The doctor ran off a list of foods and exercises she would need to begin doing, then handed her a list of recommended prenatal vitamins. “If you have any questions, call me. Even if you only start to worry or wonder about something, just call me.”

  Mia nodded, but after registering Dr. Ellis’ words, anxiety started to plant itself in her. Scenarios of all the things that could go wrong invaded her thoughts, and they all scared her.

  Dr. Ellis must have sensed her fear because she patted her shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sure everything will be fine. You’re young and healthy. And you have a great doctor,” she said with a wink.

  Mia returned her smile but it was halfhearted as the reality of her situation came crashing down on her. She was alone in this city and about to raise a baby on her own. Her only family, which consisted of her mother and little sister, were states away, and in no position to help her. She didn’t even think she would be able to continue working for Charles McArthur, yet she couldn’t afford to leave her job, not now. And then there were her classes… A dull headache began to form and she closed her suddenly teary eyes.

  “It’s too early to tell the sex,” Dr. Ellis said, trying to distract her. “But around your twelfth to fourteenth week, you should be able to know.”

  “So I have to wait another month to find out,” Mia said, a little dejected.

  Dr. Ellis laughed. “Believe me, the time will fly,” she said. “Are you hoping for a boy or girl?”

  Mia thought about it for a moment and realized it didn’t make a difference to her. She was already fiercely in love with her baby.

  “No, not really,” Mia replied. “But I did grow up with a family of women so I wouldn’t mind a little boy.”

  “You may change your mind,” Dr. Ellis said with a grin. “I have three of my own and with my husband, it’s a wonder I haven’t pulled all my hair out.”

  Mia laughed. “My mother just had me and my sister and she would sometimes say the same thing.”

  “Hmm, then we might be looking at your little girl. I grew up with three older brothers and I sometimes wonder if my fourth child would have been a girl. But I’m not willing to take the chance of having to raise another little monster.”

  They both laughed.

  “Do you have any names picked out yet?” Dr. Ellis asked.

  Mia nodded, a soft smile on her lips. She spent years thinking of her future family and had baby names picked out as far back as she could remember. “If it’s a girl, I was thinking of My-ee-ah but spelled M-A-I-A. That’s the name my mother originally wanted for me but supposedly the nurses got it wrong on the birth certificate.”

  “Maia?” Dr. Ellis repeated, testing out the name. “Very pretty. And if it’s a boy?”

  A boy that looked like Nate? Her heart lurched at the thought.

  “I always liked the name Michael,” she admitted dreamily, already imagining a soft, creamy brown faced baby boy with dark wavy hair. Or would it be curly? Mia shook her head, laughing at herself. Those little details didn’t matter. She just couldn’t wait to hold her baby in her arms.

  3

  It was finally Friday and Mia was grateful the long, hellish week had finally come to an end. It had been her most frustrating, draining week by far. The past few days, she had found it hard to concentrate, even on the simplest of tasks, and making the most ridiculous mistakes, which Charles McArthur was not shy about pointing out to her. She nearly ruined his international travel plans for next week. There was an important summit happening in Belgium next week and he was supposed to arrive there next Tuesday. Instead, his flight itinerary had read he would be arriving in Chicago that day.

  Mia was grateful the travel agency had called to confirm, which had given her plenty of time to fix her colossal screw-up. In the two years she’d worked for Charles, she’d made it a point to be extremely careful around him. He was a shrewd man who demanded excellence and Mia always tried to meet his expectations.

  It didn’t help that her boss regularly reminded her of Nate. Just working with him, having to look at him every day, made her heart twist. Charles’ features were older, more mature, and his dark hair was peppered with grays, but the resemblance between him and his son was unmistakable. Only Nate’s eyes were less shrewd and his jaw was less blunt. That, however, didn’t excuse her carelessness and Mia wasn’t surprised when an impatient Charles eventually voiced his irritation.

  “Mia, what happened to my four o’clock?” he asked, hovering above her as she stared into her computer monitor. “I asked you to set that up two days ago.”

  Mia scanned over her calendar, which toggled his, searching for the meeting she could have sworn she�
��d set up the night before. “I’m sorry,” she stammered. “It should be here…”

  “Well, it’s not or else I wouldn’t be asking. Now, did you schedule it or not?”

  “I-I can’t seem to find it,” she replied helplessly. Then she found it and the breath was wrenched out of her chest. She had scheduled the meeting for the following Friday. This was the third time this week she had misscheduled something. Only those other meetings hadn’t been quite so urgent. If Charles’ patience with her hadn’t already reached its breaking point, it would now.

  “Mr. McArthur, I’m sorry, but I just realized I have it scheduled for next Friday. I’ll send out a new invite now.” Though it would be a challenge getting anyone to a meeting a couple of hours before it was supposed to begin.

  Charles let out a heavy sigh, his lips pressed firmly together. “This meeting is very urgent, and I need to have it today.”

  “Yes, of course. I’ll start calling everyone on the list now.”

  Unfortunately, Mia hit a roadblock. They were either not available, had other urgent meetings that conflicted, or had already left the office for the day. She called up other executive assistants and there was no room on anyone’s schedule to work around. Even Charles’ calendar was booked until six that evening.

  If he expected her to pull a miracle, he was in for a disappointment. The earliest she could get his meeting scheduled was first thing Monday morning. Something he would not be happy about.

  She stood in his office explaining that to him but, by the end, Mia couldn’t muster the energy she needed to care. Getting coffee, scheduling meetings, and booking travels were trivial compared to the issues swarming in her mind as of late.

  “I invited my son to this meeting,” Charles said, displeasure evident on his weathered face, “but seeing as it’s not going to happen, you’ll need to call and tell him it’s been rescheduled.”

  Mia froze as the bottom dropped in her stomach. She didn’t want to call Nate. She didn’t think she could force professional indifference in her tone. Not when she missed him so much.