Undone By Destiny

by Allyson Young

  Resolving not to give him any reason to invade her space again, considering the way he continued to affect her, heat or no heat, she concentrated on the meal and conversed when necessary. A part of her, the one that had been in lockdown for years, scrabbled at the cage door, encouraged by her wolf. Let it go, Desi. It may not have gone the way you dreamed, but Tahl is yours… Forever.

  The creamy pasta turned to paste on her tongue. She and Tahl were a mated pair, but at what cost? She’d never be grateful for half a loaf and she couldn’t shake the niggling feeling that she’d jinxed the union he’d actually sought with Peyton Leaf. Instead, for some reason, he’d settled for her.

  Sure, she was attractive. She wasn’t going to retreat behind false modesty—Tahl was interested in her physically, and they’d been friends of a sort growing up. He and Jett had been best friends, and she and Lizbeth had been included by default. Tahl was enamored with her family and now he was truly bound to it. A surge of sadness, mingled with self-pity, overtook her and she pushed her plate aside.

  “Not hungry?” He was watching her with those beautiful emerald eyes and for a moment he took her breath away.

  “I’m full,” she lied and tried to divert him. “I’ll clean up and then I have some work to do. A couple of sites I’m managing are due for updates.”

  “I’ll do it. I should have realized you’d get behind. The timing wasn’t great.”

  Anger overtook the sadness and she welcomed it. He just didn’t get it. “The timing would never have been great, Tahl. Excuse me.”

  The palpable weight of his gaze followed her as she left the room to make her way to her makeshift office in his second bedroom. And where she intended to sleep. She cast a glance around. His home was clean and tidy for a male recently single, but screamed “man cave”. Her “stuff”, still in the boxes, would go a long way to making it her home as well, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

  Immersed in the screen, she started when Tahl’s warm hands settled on her shoulders and worked gently at the stiffness there. “It’s late.”

  “I’m nearly finished,” she managed to say, past the comforting—and titillating—massage.

  He continued to rub and knead despite her efforts to avoid his touch, easily thwarting her movements. “Good thing. Long day.”

  Reminded of the events of the day, damn him, she clicked through the menu, saving as she went and then powered down. “Satisfied?”

  He backed off as she turned to face him, lifting a hand as if to ward her off. “Trying to look out for you, is all.”

  “You’re trying to control me, and every goddamn aspect of my life is what you’re trying to do.” She choked down the other things she wanted to say. Her wolf was whining, reminding her that no one had tried to take care of her in a long time. Because you held them at bay, from River to Jett to your mother.

  Sorely conflicted, she resolved to fight this battle when she wasn’t so exhausted, and said, “Sorry. I am tired.”

  “Then come to bed.”

  “I’m sleeping in here.”

  “You’re in my bed, Desi, whether I have to sleep with one eye open or not.”

  The implacable Tahl was back. Jett’s lieutenant, ruler of his own household, and that included her. She had no doubt he’d put her in his bed, maybe tie her there if she resisted.

  “Any other edicts I should know about? Like a curfew? You planning to choose the people I associate with, maybe?”

  Regret flashed across his handsome features. “I’ll do whatever is right for you. My mate. And the pup you’re carrying. I would hope you won’t fight me on it.” Because I will win.

  She read the unspoken words in his eyes and heard them in her gut. “Sure. Fine. You keep telling yourself that.”

  Ignoring the way he stiffened, she lowered the lid of her laptop and levered to her feet. To her chagrin, he didn’t concede her any space and she had to deke around him, hustling to the dresser. Keeping her back to him, she rummaged for the flannel pajamas she kept for the rare occasions when she didn’t feel well and required the comfort and warmth.

  Making her way to the bathroom, she closed and locked the door. Tahl should consider that stress wasn’t good for a pregnant mother and the baby. Her hands trembled as she went through her nightly routine, the familiarity soothing her nerves somewhat. Dawdling as long as she dared, stroking the brush through her hair one last time, she studied herself in the mirror. Her unhappiness was tangible, evident in her eyes and the set of her mouth. With a sigh, her chest again a tight knot of emotion, she went to Tahl’s room.

  He was already in bed, the linens pooled around his waist, sculpted chest on view. A whorl of scar tissue twisted from the base of his neck and over one broad shoulder, something she hadn’t noticed before. And curious, seeing as shifters healed well after injury and rarely scarred, at least not so obviously. But she’d never ask, never do anything to indicate her interest.

  Clearly naked under the bedding, the suggestive draping over his hips made her core heat and blanked her mind to anything else. She averted her gaze, but not before noting what a handsome specimen he was—and that he was ensconced on the side of the bed she normally chose. Could she ever catch a break? She willed her inadvertent arousal down.

  He set the book he was reading aside and twitched back the covers for her, the gesture more inviting than she cared to accept. She slipped into bed and curled up on her side, facing away from him and drew up the sheet. Already too warm, she resigned herself to an uncomfortable night, with Tahl radiating additional heat clear across the expanse of the king-size bed. It figured he’d have such a huge mattress, the better to practice all the sexual shenanigans she overheard, touted by the females he’d pleasured.

  “Sleep well, Desi.” The mattress dipped as he leaned over to drop a kiss on her hair.

  “Uh huh.” It would be so easy to roll over and kiss him for real, actually taste him. But that intimacy was never going to happen. She’d watched Pretty Woman often enough as a teenager to know she’d unravel.

  Tahl moved away and a click registered before the room plunged into darkness. She hoped he lay awake from unrequited lust and suffer mightily in the throes of it. She stared into the black until her eyes adjusted to the ambient light and she could pick out the various components of the room. It was going to be a very long night.

  Her eyes popped open as she registered the solid warmth plastered against her—although, in truth, she’d trespassed well into enemy territory. Tahl’s long, muscled body pressed into her softness, and to her embarrassment, she’d slung her leg over his hip. The hard bulge resting on her thigh testified to an enormous erection. Even in his sleep, he was ready to fuck.

  Never a sound sleeper, Desiree found it confusing that she’d gotten even a wink of rest, considering the situation, but now was not the time to ponder. Fighting the need to stiffen and perhaps alert him that she’d awakened, she faked a murmur and rolled onto her back. Before she could begin the process of inching away to put more distance between them, he chuckled and hitched onto his side. Propped up on one elbow, he loomed over her and she felt the flurry of his warm breath.

  “You talk in your sleep, Desi. And cuddle so sweetly.”

  She could hardly say she must have been seeking his warmth, dressed as she was in the flannel pajamas. “Sorry. I’m not used to sharing a bed.”

  “Not complaining.” He lowered his head and sniffed along her temple. “You smell great.”

  So did he, musky, with that spicy undertone of bergamot. With an effort, she didn’t fill her lungs. “I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

  “Desiree.” He pressed his lips unerringly in the hollow of her throat, his shifter vision hardly requiring more than ambient light. The touch was gentle, yet possessive and she shivered, her nipples tightening in response and her core heating.

  Her wolf begged her to surrender, the animal clearly game for activity outside of the parameters Desiree had set. Beleaguered, she struggled t
o make her languid limbs move, to say something to make him back off. Except she didn’t want to, blaming the residual depths of slumber she’d somehow embraced despite her antipathy for the sleeping arrangements.

  “Tahl, I told you…” Her voice held nothing of the firmness she wanted to portray, and she lost it completely when a big, warm hand slid beneath her pajama top to stroke her ribs.

  Teasingly close to the underside of her breast, she marked his strong, callused fingers and heated palm. She wanted to squirm, to wiggle herself into a better position where that hand could cup her aching flesh and tease her beaded nipple. Unbidden, her body did just that and he accommodated her, closing around her right breast as a sound of reverence broke from his lips.

  “Perfect, baby. I neglected these.” He swept his hand over to hold the other mound, fingertips plucking the hardened tip.

  The reminder of their hurried coupling tainted his touch, and she stiffened. Tahl’s sharp breath told her he’d noticed and even as she parted her lips to protest, he shoved her top up and lowered his head. The hot, wet warmth of his mouth engulfing her breast effectively scattered her thoughts.

  Was that her moaning? Making those needy sounds? She writhed, her hands finding his thick hair to work her fingers through the length, as his tongue alternately swirled and lashed a nipple before sucking hard. When he abandoned one breast to administer to the other, she found the will to protest. But not that he stop. She wanted this, wanted to be able to participate in hot, no-holds-barred sex without a biological need driving her. Wanted to have the choice. Feel it.

  Her apex was melting with desire, her pussy vibrating with anticipation as she arched against Tahl’s mouth, holding him close. He gave a last, lingering lick before trailing his tongue slowly over her quivering belly. A nibble, a tiny kiss … he sensuously tortured her in making a path to her mound, only to be foiled by the waistband of her bottoms.

  Tahl knelt. “Lift up, baby.”

  She hitched her pelvis upward and he efficiently stripped her bare. The sharp, tart scent of her arousal perfumed the air and she heard him growl.

  “Fucking amazing.”

  Her thighs fell wide as he dropped down and laid his head against her. Knowing he was breathing her in, imprinting her need on his senses, unleashed another rush of her cream. He’d slipped past her edict about no sex unless she was in heat, and she was lost in a different form of powerlessness. That of surrender.

  She had but a moment to question her sanity before he descended on her swollen folds with the intensity of a starving wolf. His talented tongue explored the sensitive flesh, every nook, and crevice while ignoring the tiny bundle of nerves that required it the most.

  “Please, Tahl.” Tugging at his hair and then pulling it had no effect. “I need…”

  A wet chuckle resonated before the flat of his tongue swiped a blazing trajectory right there. A gentle pinch of her clit pulled her release from the depths of her belly to flood her pelvis and explode over her core. Her toes curled painfully. Tahl suckled, prolonging the sensations and she cried out in overwhelming pleasure.

  Instantly, he soothed her with a tender kiss and eased upward to cover her body, grounding her in the moment. “Shh, baby. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

  As she came back to herself, she registered his throbbing hardness. He could have pushed his cock inside of her. There was no way she’d have protested, lost in the whiteout of climax. But he waited, wordlessly asking permission.

  Her hand crept down to touch her first cock. Damp and hot, silk over steel, it pulsated at her touch. Stroking him gently, she marked the increase in his breathing and the way he pushed into her hand.

  “I love your touch, baby,” he groaned.

  Hesitantly, she tried to position him and he moved to facilitate her effort. The broad crown seemed to find her opening easily and he pressed inside, opening her. The initial resistance her body afforded made her catch her breath and he stilled.

  “Okay?”

  “Yes.” She really had no idea, but it was only fair he receive his own pleasure after bestowing it on her. If she closed her eyes tightly, she could pretend all the ugliness of the past couple of days hadn’t taken place, and that she was back in the day when Tahl was all she wanted. All she had eyes—and heart—for.

  Inching ahead, she felt him fill her, stretching the walls of her channel until he was fully seated. She let herself simply feel as she adjusted, and he began to move, slowly thrusting forward, only to retreat. Her hands rested on his shoulders, tracing their inherent strength.

  He worked one arm beneath her back, his other hand cupping the nape of her neck as he lowered to take her lips. The initial brush of his mouth flicked some kind of switch, and she turned her face away. The implied intimacy was like a dash of cold water in reminder, and guilt gnawed insidiously.

  Stiffening, he carefully withdrew, recognizing the rebuff, if not the reasoning behind it, and she bit back a protest at the loss. But he effortlessly flipped her and drew her hips upward with a firm grasp. One big hand again covered her neck to press her upper body into the mattress and the heat of him blanketed her.

  Open to him, he probed between her folds and with a satisfied grunt pressed home. His girth took her breath and she was helpless to do anything else but take him, her role changed from that of a participant. His cock worked differently deep within her, rubbing along her walls and probing at a spot she could only label as exquisitely sensitive. The physicality carried her along, past the obvious dissonance as Tahl fucked her ruthlessly.

  Powerful, measured thrusts built her response and the slap of flesh on flesh resonated in her head. The dominance was clear, a different kind of connection, and one she feared would be her lot in life. One she’d brought upon herself.

  His smooth motion losing rhythm, Tahl yanked her upright by dint of wrapping a hand around her hair. He held her against him, his pelvis moving choppily as his free hand sought her clit. Already sensitive, she hissed in protest, but he rubbed with enough pressure to draw yet another orgasm that left her clenching helplessly around his turgid cock.

  With a growl, he came, heat washing her insides, and then he lowered her trembling body. She buried her face as he pulled out and dropped to his back. She felt the distance between them acutely, and cautiously straightened her legs to face away from him. Confused and saddened, she allowed one paltry tear to escape and slide over the bridge of her nose to dampen the pillow.

  He twitched the sheet over her, but she didn’t trust her voice enough to respond and felt him leave the bed. The sound of silence echoed as she closed herself off, knowing she’d made a horrible mistake.

  ****

  Tahl turned the dial on the shower to the coldest setting and tolerated the spray for several minutes. It didn’t help to numb the pain in his chest. Shifters didn’t suffer from the maladies that plagued humans, at least not until they were much, much older than his thirty-one years, but he idly wondered if he was having a heart attack. More likely, he was suffering from a broken one.

  With a mental huff, he turned off the water and stepped out to dry himself. What the hell was wrong with him that he kept pushing her? Sleeping in the same bed had sorely tested his self-control, and when she’d cuddled into him, murmuring against his neck, her leg thrown perilously close to his cock…

  His wolf had raged, despising the barrier of the ugliest nightwear he’d ever seen as a man, drawn by her scent and proximity. Her heat no longer a factor, the animal should have been sated to a large degree but was as randy as ever.

  She’d tried to retreat, but he’d followed, made his intentions clear, and while she hadn’t refused him, her ambivalence had been clear. Rubbing at his hair, he tried not to think about how much it hurt when she rebuffed his attempt to kiss her. Only an idiot would have misinterpreted that message, though the label might not be misplaced where he was concerned.

  So he’d taken her the way his wolf preferred, in a dominant, hugely satisfying manner, absolv
ing her of implied intimacy. Tahl rubbed at that irritating soreness in his chest without making a dent in the discomfort. They’d both gotten off, but the act had been lacking somehow.

  In the process of hanging up his towels, he froze. He knew how to fuck, had considerable experience at pleasuring any woman in his bed—or hers. He’d fucked his mate. Three times now, and found them to be immensely satisfying experiences, at least physically. But he hadn’t made love to her, and perhaps never would.

  Quietly stepping into a clean pair of boxers he drew from his dresser, he stared through the darkness at the huddled form of his mate, her sonorous breathing reaching his ears. He doubted she was asleep and was torn between crawling in beside her to hold her close, while risking another rebuff, or withdrawing. He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.

  His lips twitched with surprise. His wolf didn’t subscribe to that notion, but perhaps his brain was stepping up and actually overruling both his animal and his cock. Making a brief stop in the guest bath and a hurried trip back to the ensuite, he headed to the small room he kept locked at all times. The space was where he kept his records and a wide assortment of weapons. Being mated, even newly mated didn’t mean his responsibilities diminished, and he owed Jett another update this week. Outside of the Dawnfall pack, only Tahl, and his Alpha were aware of the danger that might still stalk his kind. He believed he’d eradicated the risk, but only time and considerable follow-up, would tell.

  Not knowing which side of Desiree he would face in the morning would keep him on his mettle, and he regretted that he had to leave her so soon. Even for a day. That she would endeavor to continue to build space between them was a given. A hint of despair flickered in the back of his mind, but he ignored it. He needed to give it time and trust that the Desiree he so fondly remembered still lived inside the unhappy female he now cohabitated with.

  Chapter Six

  She’d lain awake until dawn after Tahl had left their bed, hearing him shower and wander to and fro. She’d wondered if he might return, telling herself that was something she didn’t want. When early morning light crept around the edges of the blinds, she got up, a tired, sticky and sweaty mess.