Werecats and Werelocks (Collection)

by Dakota Cassidy

  Lila threw herself on the bar, flinging her hand dramatically over her forehead, and shook her head. “I don't knoooow ... I mean, one minute I was up and the next I was on the ground, wings all crumpled and sucking grass clippings."

  "Lost your concentration, huh? Did you take your meds before you went? You know what the doctor said. It would help your focus."

  "Yes, I took my meds!” she chirped indignantly. “I didn't think I'd lost my concentration until I was flat on my ass."

  Felicity wrinkled her nose. “Wanna get drunk?"

  Lila sniffed. “Of course I do, silly. I want to get falling down drunk. But, I do that sober. So, what's the diff?"

  "I hear someone feeling sorry for themselves,” a deep voice coated with honey said from behind them.

  Lila sat up and narrowed her glazed eyes, peeking around Felicity's shoulder. “Shut up, you wannabe bloodsucker,” she said dryly. “I don't need a pep-talk from you. How's blood tolerance one-oh-one treating you? Still cry when you see garlic, you big, honkin’ girl?"

  Felicity nudged Lila with her fingernail. “That's mean, Lila! Dexter did just fine with the last pint of blood he drank—he almost made it without puking. So, knock it off."

  Dexter's dark eyes squinted through his thick glasses as he pushed them back up his nose and smiled sheepishly. “It's all right, F. At least I don't eat Astroturf! And I did pass my ‘Holy Water is not the New Perrier’ class. So fairies who live in glass snowglobes shouldn't throw stones!"

  Lila sobbed anew, catching the tears with the edge of her drink napkin. “Ya know what the saddest part of all of this is, Dex? Blood?” Lila scoffed, snorting the word. “Nothing, not a problem, I could drink that stuff by the gallon and not even a gastrointestinal blip, but fly? Noooo ... that would be too normal, too fairy-like—too much like friggin’ Tinkerbell! Omigod,” she yelped with realization, “I should have been a vampire. I'm a horrible mutation, DNA gone awry..."

  Dexter took the stool beside Felicity and gazed solemnly at the tiny fairy he called friend. “Sorry, Lila. I know this is awful. That was mean,” he apologized. “Bartender,” he yelled, thumping his hand on the surface of the wood bar. “Bring us a round of drinks and make it quick."

  Two hours later and five or six rounds of shots, they were all officially plastered. As Felicity rose to make an exit, her legs wobbled. Giggling, she hugged Dexter hard. “Deeexter—Dex—Deeexie, I love yoooou, man. I don't care what all the vampires say, if you never dink another dop of blood, you-are-cool. The coolest. Cooler than anyone I know."

  Dink? Oh, yes, the pity-party had been a rousing success. Her tongue was thick and her words decidedly slurred.

  Lila buzzed around Felicity's nose before she plopped face first on her shoulder. “You've been dinking,” hiccup, “did you leave the broom home? Cuz I tink you cou get hurt if you drive tha ... th ... that thing.” Double hiccup.

  "I may not be a good witch, but I'm not stoooopid. I never dink and boom..."

  "Broom, I think that's broom, F,” Dexter corrected.

  "Hah! Call it whatever ya like, Dex. It never works right anyway.” Felicity gave Dexter a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “S'okay, I'm gonna get that damn boom if it's the last think I do."

  Lila began to giggle. “It's broom and it might be the last think you do, F, cuz we-are-battin'-a thousand here."

  Felicity plucked Lila from her shoulder and deposited her on Dexter's. “I have to go. My friends, this has been wonerful, but I have a cass early in the morning and I hafta go.” Blowing Lila and Dexter a kiss, she weaved out of the bar and into the night.

  Felicity sighed deeply. If nothing else, she loved Castoffsphere at night.

  She inhaled the sweet scent of jasmine and orange blossom. The sky was sprinkled with the flutter of fairy wings, buzzing with effort to stay in flight. Softly muted, multi-colored hues zoomed in sporadic dips and dives, lighting her way home. The glow comforted her as she passed row after row of thatched cottages, stumbling along the curb.

  Whew, she'd had far too much to drink and the day before an exam, too. Not a smooth move. Wending her way to her cottage, Felicity stopped to check her mail, hoping against hope her parents might have changed their minds and sent cash. Sifting through it, she realized that would not be the case. However, her subscription to Hollywood Global had arrived!

  Nothing could be so bad that she couldn't enjoy some movie star gossip.

  She pushed open her door and threw the junk mail on the kitchen table. Rico greeted her with a swish of his tail. Stooping, she gathered him in her arms and trudged off to her bedroom. Stripping, she didn't even bother to put her nightgown on, opting to flop on the bed and pick up where she'd left off at the bar.

  "Rico, Rico, Rico ... what will I do if I don't pass this stupid exam?” Rico responded by rubbing his head against her hand.

  Again, in her drunken mind, she ran through the spell that was supposed to turn an inanimate object into a living, breathing human being, but, till now, had merely fizzled. If she could just remember the damn words!

  Food, she needed food to temper her tipsy state. Wiggling her hips, Felicity successfully conjured up a plate of French fries and grabbed some orange juice from her fridge. She hoped it helped her cotton mouth. Licking her lips, she lit some Egyptian musk incense because it made her happy and haphazardly popped a fry in her mouth.

  If only she could conjure up the important stuff. Food was easy. A Happy Meal just wasn't going to cut it in spell casting.

  Her eye caught the cover of Hollywood Global with a picture of Yul Brynner on it. Oooh, she just loved him! Shall we dance? God, he was sexy back in the day. According to the inside article, a revival of the movie The King and I was in the works.

  Who the hell could ever replace Yul Brynner?

  Felicity flipped the magazine closed and popped one last fry in her mouth before she gave it one final attempt.

  Hookay, one last shot. C'mon, baby, give mama a reason to go on wearing a pointy hat.

  Closing her eyes and spreading her arms wide, she muttered, “Worlds apart come together. Enter mine, light as a feather. Free of strain, bring new life ... It is my will ... to be ... be ... your ... wife?” Opening her eyes cautiously, Felicity looked around her dark room.

  Squat. Just squat. Not a single, solitary ripple of disruption. Not even the familiar distant rumblings that usually accompanied her failed spells.

  Wife?

  Well, that just couldn't be. How had she forgotten the spell again?

  Good gravy, she was such a failure.

  Flopping back on the bed, Felicity grunted.

  Fine, that was just freakin’ peachy. Who needed a good spell anyway?

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Two

  Felicity arched her back, raising her hips as a tongue, slick and hot, caressed the cleft of her legs, slipping over her inner thighs to glide back upward. The soft slurp of tongue against flesh hardened her nipples. They pressed painfully into her bed.

  "Oh ... myyyy...” she moaned when a head wedged its way under her hips and pressed between her thighs. She rolled with it, lifting her thigh, parting for the hot breath that whispered across her legs in small gasps. Felicity's hands cradled the head, thrusting to meet the lips that enveloped her and wrapped around her clit. Slow and long, it lapped at her, darting over the wet flesh with expertise, running the length of her cunt. Felicity felt hands move over her ass, kneading, squeezing as the tongue licked and she bucked against it.

  A fusion of heat and light rocketed to her pussy as she came in one orgasmic wave after another. Pumping her hips, Felicity let go of the head between her thighs and used her hands as leverage to lift herself against the mouth that was making her insane.

  "Ohhhhhhhh,” she yelped as the fingers that held her ass now dragged through her swollen, wet flesh, teasing her, tempting her to come again as the mouth left her and moved to higher ground.

  A tongue ran over the smooth plane of her stomach, ci
rcling her belly button, kissing her ribs, taunting the undersides of her breasts. Her nipples beaded tightly, begging to be enveloped by the hot mouth that washed over her fevered skin.

  Smooth hands cupped her breasts, rolling her tight nipples.

  Oh, oh, oh. That felt so good ... Lifting her arms, she bowed her back, pushing against the hard body that rubbed along hers. Smooth skin scraped along her sensitive thighs and the smooth hands pressed her breasts together, the tongue lashing out at her nipples.

  Her hands reached down, clutching the hard shoulders at her waist.

  Hard shoulders? What was wrong with this picture? There had been no hard shoulders when she went to bed.

  Definitely nothing hard.

  Oh, gods, she brought someone home last night and she didn't remember. Admittedly, she'd had a one-night stand or two, but they'd never been this good, and she'd never been so sloshed she didn't remember doing the bringing home part.

  You drunken tart!

  Felicity's eyes popped open and she looked down the length of her body. The most luscious body she'd ever laid eyes on was pressed against hers, so close a crowbar couldn't separate them. Long and hard, muscled and sleek, bronzed and thick. A smooth head moved between her breasts.

  Felicity froze as her mind raced.

  The body seemed to sense her lack of movement and the smoothly shaved head tilted upward. Gray-blue eyes smiled into hers. “What?” the firm line of lips said in a husky rasp.

  Felicity's mouth formed an “O", but she couldn't quite make her tongue work. It was sluggish and thick. He looked almost exactly like—like ... no freakin’ way ... He looked just like Yul Brynner!

  What? Her mind filtered his question, but she had a couple of her own, like What the hell are you doing between my boobs, Kojak? Where the hell did you come from? Who the hell are you?

  The smooth head cocked to the left, gazing at her with eyes that were fringed thickly with dark lashes.

  "Whoooo..."

  Again, confusion flashed in his eyes.

  "Are..."

  He frowned.

  "Yoooou?” she yelled.

  "I.” He kissed the tip of one nipple.

  "Am.” Then, licked it softly.

  "Your.” His hand snaked around her waist.

  "Husband.” He smiled, all white teeth and dimples.

  Felicity began to giggle, and it quickly turned into a full on howl. “Did Lila send you? Oh, oh,” she gasped. “I know, you must be the guy she said was so cute, but more my type than hers. You're from the west end of Castoffsphere, right?"

  Puzzled would best describe his features. “Huh? Who's Lila? What's Castoffsphere?"

  Her shoulders were shaking with laughter, as her breasts bobbed in this delectable man's face. “Funny, very funny. Lila always said she'd get me laid one way or another. Look, you are like beyond cute, but I'm not doing the horizontal mambo today. So, thanks, but no thanks.” Felicity began to push away, but he tightened his arms around her. They were like bands of steel, hard and rippled with muscle.

  "I'm not letting you go. You're my wife and no wife of mine's doing that horizontal thing with anyone else but me."

  "Look, joke's over, you can quit it now. I'm done and I have a class to get to, so, if you'll excuse me ... I sort of need not to be naked for my class."

  He chuckled, a deep, resonant rumble that made her stomach do a funny flop. “This is no joke. You summoned me. I came. I'm your husband and that's my final answer. Now, come and kiss your husband."

  "Have you been doing that whacky weed with Lila? I told her those damn plants she found out in the field were probably some kind of ancient opiate, but she never listens. The only way she'll fly is high as a kite smoking that garbage."

  "No, I don't smoke and I ‘just say no’ to drugs."

  "Good, that's good. Now, let me go and tell Lila the next time she sends some guy to my bedroom, it better not be the week before exams, because under different circumstances you would have been great fun to take advantage of.” Smiling, Felicity pushed against him again, but he wasn't budging.

  However, his cock was. It pressed against her belly, hard and hot.

  Hookay, time to tell the yummy bald guy she'd put a whammy on him if he didn't let go. “I'm a witch and if you don't let me go I'm going to—to—well, do something really bad to you.” He didn't have to know she sucked at casting spells.

  "You'd hurt me? Your husband? That wouldn't be nice,” he chided. “We made vows that you should take much more seriously than that.” His tone was light, teasing as he went back to laving a nipple.

  Warm tendrils of heat licked at her pussy. Oh my, his tongue was a silken rasp of wet friction. Her nipple betrayed her by beading easily in his mouth as his cock pulsed between them.

  It would be so nice to give in to this and have a good romp with her husband...

  Um, husband.

  Hubby.

  Partner for life.

  Soul mate...

  Grabbing him by his ears, she tugged his head upward. “Did you say husband?"

  "Well, yeah. You called, I came. Now, could we get to our long overdue honeymoon? Because I don't think I can wait much longer, if you know what I mean.” He looked down between them at his raging cock. Wiggling his eyebrows, he pressed his mouth to hers before she could complain and slipped his tongue between her lips, stroking her breasts with his hands.

  She found herself responding to him, her body curling into this stranger, craving his hands on her. Oh, the luscious feel of his palms as they rolled over her nipples, as his cock slipped between her thighs and caressed her swollen clit. Sliding one hand between them, he spread the lips of her pussy and followed the hot glide of his shaft.

  Felicity gasped into his mouth, the mouth that tasted of her and mint. His cock was thick and silken and if she had more time, she'd take full advantage of his very yummylicious-ness and screw him for all he was worth, then send him packing. His firmly muscled body was perfection, sensuously rubbing against hers. The compulsion to slip him inside of her was unbelievably intense.

  It was the husband thing that kept nagging at her...

  Tearing her lips from his, she clamped her hands around his wrists and stopped him from all movement, except the incredibly delicious circling of his hips.

  "What do you mean, you're my husband? I don't have a husband, I don't even have a steady boyfriend. Hell, I just barely have a cat."

  He ground against her, continuing to slide between her plump folds. “You summoned me. That makes me your husband and also gives me the right to make love to you, which I really wish we'd get to, cuz I can't wait much longer, ya know?"

  Okay, enough was enough. She couldn't even summon the take-out guy, never mind a husband. Letting go of his wrists, she put her hand between them and grasped his cock. He moaned and thrust into her hand. Felicity clamped down a bit harder.

  He growled, his honeyed tone taking an edge, “Ah, you like it rough..."

  "Stop! Stop right now. I want to know who you are and what is going on. I didn't summon anyone and if you don't know Lila, then an explanation is in order. Spit it out. Now,” Felicity threatened as she gazed into his gray-blue eyes, narrowing hers.

  All movement ceased, though his cock continued to throb in her hand. “My name is Christian and you summoned me with your spell, releasing me from my bottle where you so rudely left me for nigh on one hundred years, wife, thereby we are still married, thus making me your husband."

  Well, of course, that made perfect sense.

  A spell?

  Holy friggin’ spell-check!

  She shook her head, her auburn hair tangling in her face as she let his cock go and backed away from him. “Oh, oh, shit, there's been some kind of major dimensional misunderstanding. See, um, Christian—well, it's like this ... I—I'm a really sucky witch and, well,” she bit her lip and frowned, “I screw up all the time and I do mean, all the time.” She paused. “Did I say all the time?"

  He nodded. />
  "Well, that's the truth. I'm—I'm dyslexic and shoot ... sometimes things just go horribly wrong for me. I mean, I turned my cat into a planter, for crap's sake! I'm a dismal failure as a witch. It's the reason I'm here on Castoffsphere in the first place. So, now that that's settled, you can go home. Or back to your—what was it?"

  "Bottle,” he replied.

  She nodded. “Yes, bottle."

  Wait. Bottle? “Bottle?"

  "Yeah, bottle and I don't think I like your tone. Just because I live in a bottle doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Genies are people too,” he offered with a smug smile.

  "Genie? You're a genie? Like magic carpets and—and—three wishes and that show with the blonde chick always calling that Major guy Master—genie?” she sputtered in astonishment.

  "You know, I always felt Jeannie was rather subservient, myself. Don't get me wrong, she was sexy, but overall it wasn't exactly a true comparison to the genie lifestyle,” he said dryly.

  Felicity jumped off the bed and pulled the sheet with her. Omigod, omigod, omigod.

  She'd summoned a genie. From a bottle ... “Don't genies come from lamps? You know, you rub them and poof, instant genie?"

  "Yes indeed, some do. I do not. I liked my bottle. I was very hip."

  He sat up and plumped the pillows behind him. “How can we do the nasty if you cover yourself up?"

  "Do the nasty? Are you cracked? I am not doing the anything with you! You have to go home or back to your bottle, back to wherever it is that you came from!” Felicity paced the floor. Oh, she'd done it now ... she'd tampered with another dimension and summoned a genie.

  Christian smiled. “I'm from L.A., thank you. At least that's what I think they call it now. And I can't go back. You have to divorce me first. I hear they're pretty hard to come by. Divorces, I mean. Could take yeeeaarrs. So, hop back in the bed and let's do this connubial bliss thing right.” He patted the spot beside him.