‘Gabriel, your Mum … Mum had a very nasty fall yesterday and had to go to hospital.’ He spoke really quietly and was looking at me so strangely.
‘But she’s better now, right? Hospital’s where people go to get better isn’t it Dad? When can I see her? I really miss her.’
‘Hospital’s where they try and make you better son, but … but sometimes it doesn’t always happen, sometimes …’ he stopped and took a deep breath that caught in his throat. ‘Sometimes people are so poorly, that no matter what the nurses and doctors do, they can’t … they just can’t do anything to help them.’ I felt his hand move through my hair again as I looked up at him puzzled. What was he trying to tell me? That Mum was staying there for a while? ‘You remember your goldfish Bubbles?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ I nodded as I let out a sad sigh and hung my head. Bubbles had died a few months ago, I’d found him floating in his bowl one morning, so we’d had a little funeral service and had put him in a matchbox and buried him in the garden. I’d cried all day, but Mum had given me lots of cuddles and ice cream to cheer me up. ‘I miss Bubbles Dad.’
‘I know you do,’ he whispered and I looked back up at him confused as he started to cry. I’d never seen dad cry, and here he was getting upset over my goldfish. “Boys have to be strong, Gabriel,” he’d always tell me. “It’s a man’s job to be strong to look after his family,” was another rule he hammered home all the time.
‘Dad, why are you crying?’
‘Well Mum’s … Mum’s like Bubbles now, Gabriel. She was so poorly that they … they couldn’t help her and she’s … no longer with us. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?’ dad asked as he lifted a shaking hand to wipe his eyes with a white cotton handkerchief.
‘Mum’s not coming home?’ I felt my eyes expand as I looked at him in horror.
‘No, no she’s not,’ he sniffed as he shook his head.
‘Ever?’ I whispered. Did he mean he’d put her in a box in the garden too? Like my goldfish?
‘No, she’s like Bubbles now, she’s left us … she’s left us and gone to heaven and she’ll be watching over us, just like he does, because she loves us very much.’
‘Why Dad?’ I asked. I could feel my chin and bottom lip wobbling, and tears stinging my eyes.
‘She hurt herself too badly falling down the stairs yesterday and the doctors couldn’t help her.’
‘No,’ I shouted. I didn’t understand what was happening. Mum was never coming home because she’d fallen down the stairs? Dad grabbed my hands and I started to cry, this felt worse than when he’d told me Bubbles had left us, so much worse.
‘Gabriel I’m so sorry, but you need to know that your mother loved you with all of her heart. She wanted me to tell you that and to say … to say goodbye to you.’
‘No Dad no, I want my mum,’ I howled and he dragged me against his firm chest as I heard him start to sob as well. ‘Mummy,’ I screamed. This was my fault. Mum was never coming home because I made her angry and fall? All because I wanted a stupid Beyblade a day early?
‘I love you, Gabriel,’ dad whispered as he gripped me tightly and kissed my hair. ‘It’s very important you know that I love you son. That will never change, no matter what.’
‘I … want … to … see … Mummy. Please daddy,’ I sobbed, between gasps for air. I could feel his shirt getting wet from my tears and I could hardly breathe between the choking gasps and the jolts my body was making. If mum was never coming home what about my brother or sister? What would happen to me and dad without her? Mum always cooked and looked after me. Who would look after me now? I usually only ever saw dad in the bathroom in the morning and when he came to kiss me goodnight. Was I going to be all alone all day? I suddenly feel very scared.
‘Daddy needs to have some time to deal with this Gabriel and to find us a new house to live in as I … I can’t live there. Not anymore. So Doug’s parents are going to look after you until I’ve found us a new home. I’ll come as visit as often as I can, ok?’
‘No,’ I screamed as I hammered my fists on his chest. He’d just told me that my mum had left me, now I was never going to see my house or bedroom again and he was leaving me too? He stood up and sat me back down on the sofa. I wiped my arm across my face, it was soaking wet. I felt so ashamed, boys weren’t supposed to cry.
‘Be a brave boy for me son. Try and behave for Mr. and Mrs. Tudor and play nicely with Doug and I’ll see you soon.’ He bent down and kissed my forehead and quickly walked out of the lounge. I ran after him into the hall. Mr. Tudor was holding the front door open, shaking dad’s hand. I caught up with him as he was trying to leave and flung my arms around his hips. I didn’t want him to leave me, I just wanted to go and see mum and go home.
‘Don’t go Daddy, please don’t go,’ I sobbed. I sounded like a baby, I knew I did, but right now I didn’t care.
‘Gabriel please, be strong for me, be a big strong boy. I have to go,’ he replied as he bent and prised my clutching fingers from his body. I felt another pair of hands grab me by the shoulders as I wriggled, trying to get out of their grasp as I screamed violently. Dad crouched in front of me and looked at me sadly. I heard him saying something as he ran his hand through my hair, but I felt like I was underwater, everything was muffled by the noise of my screams and the blood pounding in my ears. I watched him stand, turn and start walking away into the darkness, through the snow towards his car.
‘Daddy,’ I screamed as I stretched out my hands trying to reach him, but I was being restrained too tightly. He didn’t even look back as the front door was closed and locked. He knew, he knew it was my fault Mum had got hurt and he was punishing me. It made me cry even harder. I felt another pair of hands lift me up and suddenly I was in Mrs. Tudor’s arms and she cuddled me tightly, kissing my hair as I cried. I buried my face in her neck, she smelled of soap. It was nice and comforting, but she didn’t smell as nice as my mum, no one did, no one ever would. I missed her so much, I just wanted her to come home so I could tell her that I was sorry, that I didn’t hate her. Mrs. Tudor carried me upstairs, got me undressed and put on my pyjamas as I stood there, swaying in a daze as I continued to cry. She gave me my teddy, then climbed into bed with me and stroked my hair as she cuddled me. I cried for a long time, until I was so exhausted that I felt my eyes start to close.
It’s ok, I told myself over and over. Everything was going to be ok. This was just a horrible nightmare. I was going to wake up in my own bed to Christmas morning with Mum and Dad, and I wouldn’t care about my Beyblade, or any of my presents. I’d just give Mum the biggest cuddle I’d ever given her and tell her that I loved her. She always smiled when I told her that I loved her and it was true, I really did. I planned on telling her every day for the rest of my life.
Six Years Ago
I looked out of the window as I ate my steak, sitting next to my dad. It was term time, but I’d just been suspended from Dunsmaster school for boys, for fighting, again. Dad really wasn’t happy that he’d had to leave the office to come and get me, so I’d had a serious lecture on the way back here. He reminded me that he wasn’t paying all this money to send me to one of the country’s most exclusive boarding schools, for me to get kicked out before I’d finished my education. I’d just stared out of the car window and taken it, there was no point arguing with him, it would just get him even more angry than he already was.
After checking in for messages at his office, he’d brought me to 26, the restaurant a couple of floors up, to have lunch and talk about why I felt the need to keep fighting all the time. I had nice memories of coming here. I’d spent a lot of time in the holidays coming to work with Mum and Dad, and the three of us had eaten here for lunch together quite often. It was five years since I’d been responsible for her death, along with that of my sibling, and I still couldn’t handle it. It had become obvious to me over the years that Dad didn’t actually know what had really happened that day. I had no intention of telling him either. I was
too worried what he’d do when he found out that I was the cause of his continuing grief, he still seemed so unhappy without her. In fact no one knew, not even my best friend Doug. I’d bottled up all that self-directed anger and guilt and I dealt with it by using my fists on anyone who challenged me at Dunsmaster.
The red head who brought us some more water smiled at me. She was really pretty and had a nice pair of firm tits in a black bra that was just visible through her white shirt. I’d been having wet dreams about her lately and tossed off most nights with images of her in my head. Some of the older guys at school brought magazines into the dormitories with them, which Doug and I gave them money for, so we could hide behind the gardeners sheds in the school grounds and read them in secret. The mags were filled with pictures of naked women and stories of sex and I particularly liked the shots where they had firm curvy backsides and big breasts. Damn, I was getting stiff just thinking about it. I reached my hand down under the table and squeezed my cock.
I’d started getting loads of female attention in the holidays, especially lately. I’d grown a lot taller and my body had really started to develop some muscle from all my running and the swimming training. I knew I was good looking too, I looked just like my dad. Women were always flirting with him, falling over themselves to get him to notice them, but he never seemed interested. I think he still missed Mum, I knew I did. I had his strong square jaw, defined cheekbones and sun kissed dirty blond hair, but I had my mums full soft lips, straight nose and expressive blue eyes.
‘Damn it,’ Dad muttered. I looked up and saw he was on his phone. ‘I’ll be down in minute, show them to the conference room and tell Dobson to say nothing until I get there. I don’t want to give them any additional leverage.’
‘Ok?’ I asked as he cut the call and frowned.
‘Emergency downstairs. Stay and finish your lunch Gabriel, then straight back into my office, no going anywhere. You’re grounded remember.’ He flung his napkin down, stood up and strode out. I rolled my eyes and carried on eating. We didn’t have the best relationship. I was still finding it hard to forgive him for abandoning me all those years ago. I’d lived at Doug’s for months and I’d never step foot in our old house again, nor had I been allowed to see Mum to say goodbye to her and the baby she’d lost. After Dad had left me that Christmas with Doug’s family, it was two weeks before I’d seen him again, the day of Mum’s funeral. That day he hadn’t looked like the strong father I’d remembered, definitely not the tough hard man he was today. He’d left me again straight after the service and had only visited once or twice a week, before we moved into a new house on King Street, just a few houses down the road from Doug.
Dad had hired live in nanny/housekeepers to look after me. Many, many women who soon got tired of my anger and refusal to co-operate with them. They were trying to replace my mum and I hadn’t wanted her replaced, I’d just wanted her back. It was my fault that she’d gone and that dad was so miserable and distant, and I hated myself for that. My fists were the only outlet I had to deal with all the pent up emotion inside me. Never with women, I’d never hit a women, men who did that were weak, but guys, yeah guys I could hit and I did it often. It was an amazing release. Weirdly I felt even better if they managed to land a punch, like that pain was my punishment. My relationship with Dad had definitely changed after Mum’s death, he was far more serious and became even more involved in his work. From the moment we moved into our current house, I only saw him for a short time at night. He’d stopped our morning ritual in the bathroom, where we used to chat while I’d watched him shave, and I’d missed that. He was trying now though, and even though I was reluctant to just pretend those years of distance had never happened, I needed someone in my life, someone other than Doug anyway. I made out like I was all tough, but a lot of it was a front. Inside I was still hurting and felt desperately alone.
‘Hey Gabe, do you want dessert?’ Red asked, as she leaned over to pick up Dad’s plate.
‘No thanks,’ I smiled. My eyes flicked down to see her top buttons were undone. I could see right down her shirt to the smooth creamy flesh of her rounded breasts showing over her black bra, and felt myself swell again. She caught me looking and smiled, then glanced down between my legs and I felt myself go red, it was obvious she’d just seen my erection.
‘That looks painful,’ she smiled, with a flick of the head in its direction. I gulped and nodded back. It was, I was so hard I needed to wank, right now. ‘Want me to help you out?’
‘What?’ I uttered, hardly able to believe I’d just heard her right.
‘Follow me to the toilets, I’ll give you a hand or blow job, which ever you’d prefer.’ She winked as she straightened up. I groaned and grasped myself again. Damn it, I could feel the moisture seeping out of my slit and I was throbbing. I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity though, she was hot. A good few years older than me, it sounded like she had experience and I didn’t, so why not? Dad was too busy to notice I hadn’t gone straight back downstairs. I nodded and she smiled. ‘Come on then.’
I stood up and grabbed my blazer, draping it over my tented trousers. Shit was I really going to do this? I watched her arse as she walked, it was damn fine, big without being fat and her black skirt clung to it nicely. She deposited the plates at the service station and looked back at me over her shoulder as she sashayed up the stairs and I followed eagerly. Jesus, I was like a bloody lap dog. Grow some balls Gabe, I thought to myself. She held up a finger as she went into the ladies and I shook my legs impatiently as I looked around. I was going to come in my boxers in a minute. I heard the door re-open and she beckoned me in. I checked no one was looking and squeezed past her before she pushed me into the disabled toilet.
‘More room,’ she smiled, then locked the door and turned to face me. ‘God you’re so hot Gabe, I’ve dreamt of this ever since I started working here and first spotted you. Have you dreamt of me?’
‘Yes,’ I nodded as I gulped again. She reached out and took my blazer off me, carefully hanging it on the back of the door, then turned and started unbuttoning her shirt. I licked my lips as I watched her upper body being unveiled and before I knew it she’d slipped off her bra as well. ‘O shit,’ I groaned and grabbed my cock through my trousers as I looked at her big round tits.
‘Are you are virgin?’ she asked, looking surprised as she ran her hands over her huge brown nipples.
‘Yes,’ I whispered, embarrassed. I’d rather have lied and told her I’d fucked loads of women, but lying was something I’d been brought up not to do.
‘Excellent. I’m going to teach you everything you need to know about women, Gabe. I’ll make you a fantastic lay.’
‘Shit,’ I groaned again, this was so damn hot. She reached out one of her hands, took mine and put it on her breast. I gasped, it was so soft and warm, yet firm at the same time. I squeezed it and she let out a sigh and her eyes partly closed.
‘That’s it, rub and squeeze it gently, then roll my nipple in your fingers … o yes, like that. Do you want to suck it?’
‘Hell yeah,’ I nodded. I walked forwards, lowered my head and put it in my mouth and she immediately grasped the back of my head and held me to her. I sucked hard and she groaned as I felt her nipple swell in my mouth.
‘Harder,’ she whispered. ‘Bite it gently with your teeth.’ I did as I was told, and reached up with my other hand and started playing with her other breast. ‘O yes Gabe, that’s amazing, well done.’
I smiled to myself, I didn’t like to do anything unless I was going to be the best at it. If this girl was willing to show me the way, I was going to be a sponge. I was going to learn everything there was to know about sex with women and soon they’d all want me. I heard her whimper, so I stayed suckling and biting as I looked up at her. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open. I decided to slide my right hand into her skirt and got even harder to realise she had no knickers on. She opened her eyes and looked down at me shocked. Yeah right Red, not so
innocent as you thought, eh? I’d read stories and seen a film or two. I’d learned that women loved a man’s fingers between their legs, shoved up that hole, and they liked it even better when a guy used his tongue or cock down there.
‘God, you’re soaking wet. Have you pissed yourself?’ I asked as I straightened up. She laughed.
‘No, that’s my sexual juices Gabe, that’s what happens to a woman when a man makes her turned on. It makes her ready for him to slide his cock into her. Would you like to stick yours inside me?’
‘Yeah,’ I nodded vigorously as I fumbled between her legs, not really sure what I was doing. She still winced and moaned with pleasure, but pulled my hand out of her skirt and slowly sucked each of my wet fingers. I groaned, imagining it was my cock she was sucking on like that.
‘Ok Gabe, first I’m going to use my hand and mouth on you. You look like you’re going to unload any minute. Once you have, then you’ll have a bit more stamina to fuck me properly.’ She pushed me back against the wall, unzipped my trousers and pushed them down to my hips. My cock was straining and I could see a damp patch on my boxers. I hissed through my teeth as she pushed them down as well and my cock sprung loose. ‘O Gabe, you’re so big,’ she groaned. I smiled happily. Guys in the showers at school always said I was big, and I was compared to some of theirs I’d seen, but I’d been worried that women wouldn’t think I was big enough. I mean I’d seen my dad’s once, when I was about nine, when he’d walked out of the bathroom naked and damn, he had a large cock. I remembered going to my room and peering down my pyjama pants wondering why mine wasn’t that long or thick. It was definitely nearly there now.
Destined - The Austin Series Prequel Page 2
