by Sj Hooks
"Sorry. That's just really hot, you know. Two beautiful girls together and all."
"I guess.” I didn't like to think of Julia with anyone other than me, regardless of gender. "No, I don't think she has those inclinations, but she’s very…free-spirited, I guess you could say.”
Matt opened his mouth to speak and I could easily imagine all the scenarios running through his brain.
"Before you ask, no, I will not tell you anything."
Especially not the part about her wanting me to tie her up. I’m a gentleman, after all. Well, except when I'm drinking, apparently.
Matt pouted and grumbled to himself, obviously disappointed that I wasn't going to divulge.
"Maybe there's another reason why they're going to a gay club?" I suggested.
"Maybe," he said. "We need assistance. Shawn has gay friends. Hang on a second."
I watched as he went into the back and came out, dragging Shawn along. Shawn owned half the bar with Matt and was a really nice guy.
"Hey, Stephen," he said as he pulled up a chair. "What's going on? Matt said something about your girlfriend possibly being a lesbian?"
I gave my brother a glare, but he just laughed like an idiot and sat down as well.
"No, she's not a lesbian," I said. "But, um, she is going to a gay club on Friday. Booty?"
Shawn smiled and nodded. "That club is mostly for gay men, so I really don't think you have anything to worry about."
"OK, but then why would she go there?" I asked with a frown.
He chuckled and shook his head. "Probably to avoid getting hit on all night," he said. "It's like a thing, you know? Beautiful women go to gay clubs all the time when they just want to dance and have a good time without being propositioned by horny drunk guys."
Thank God. That means that she's not looking for someone else, at least.
"Really?" Matt asked.
Shawn nodded.
"Um, Shawn. I hope you don't mind me asking," I said hesitantly. "But how do you know so much about this? Are you…?"
"I'm not gay," he said casually. "I'm…versatile. It's all about the person for me. It transcends gender."
Matt stared at his friend, completely bug-eyed. This was obviously news to him. “I’ve only ever seen you with women!”
“That’s because we’re usually here,” Shawn explained. “Most guys who come here don’t really swing that way.”
“You’ve never said anything.”
“It never came up,” Shawn said with a shrug. “It doesn’t make a difference, does it?”
“No, of course not,” Matt said. “You’re not into me, though, right?”
Shawn threw his head back and roared. "No!" he gasped, wiping his eyes. "No, I'm not into you, Matt."
"Well, it's not that funny, is it?" Matt said, crossing his arms.
"No, I'm sorry, buddy," Shawn said, giving him a pat on the back. "You're a very attractive man, but you're really not my type. I tend to go for guys more like Stephen, actually," he added, smiling at me.
Oh no. Not happening, Shawn.
"I…um, thank you, I guess?" I said doubtfully, glancing around the room for the nearest exit.
"You're welcome, but you don't have to worry," he said with a grin. "I'm not into straight guys."
I nodded and let out a nervous laugh as Matt explained to his friend that I was trying to win Julia back. Shawn nodded sympathetically.
"So you guys are going to Booty on Friday? Mind if I tag along?" he asked.
"No, of course not," I said immediately.
"Excellent," he said. "We should go shopping tomorrow."
"Shopping?"
"Yeah, you need some new threads if you're going to impress the girl. Plus, they probably won't let you in looking like you're just there to hit on women. We need to gay you up."
I paled and Matt laughed hysterically. I wanted to punch him.
"That goes for you too, big guy," Shawn said, slapping Matt on the back.
"What?" he choked out.
I love karma.
"But there's nothing wrong with my clothes!" my brother insisted.
"True," Shawn agreed. "Maybe just a little manscaping for you."
Manscaping?
I must have looked utterly confused next to Matt's horrified expression.
"It's when you trim and wax the hair on your body," Shawn explained.
"B-but I won't be taking my clothes off," Matt stuttered.
"You might have to," Shawn quipped.
Matt turned whiter than a sheet and gave me a look of pure desperation.
"I'm just joking!" Shawn laughed. "Although we really should do something about that unibrow of yours."
Matt touched his eyebrows, frowning. "Really? I guess."
"Yay, spa day and shopping!" Shawn exclaimed, clapping his hands in a way that seriously made me doubt his previous statement about not being gay. "Are you up for that, Stephen?" he asked me.
"Sure," I said with a sigh. "If you think it will help me get her back."
Matt seemed to have recovered and reached over to pat me on my back. "Don't worry, bro. We'll make you look great. She won't be able to resist you."
I couldn’t help but smile a little. It felt good to have their support and now I had a plan, at least. Although I would never have imagined that it would include a trip to a spa and a new gay-friendly wardrobe. Not in a million years.
My life certainly isn't boring anymore.
* * *
"I don't know, Matt," I said as I stared at myself in the mirror. "Does this really look good?"
It was Friday night and we were at my apartment, about to go to the club.
"I think you look awesome," he said, studying me carefully.
I looked in the mirror again and tried to view myself objectively. I was wearing ridiculously expensive shoes, which Shawn insisted was key when going to a gay club, dark denim jeans, a tight white T-shirt, and a black blazer. My hair was messy, which I knew that Julia liked, and the facial that Shawn had forced me to get at the spa had actually made my skin look really good and removed the few stress lines around my eyes. I looked young. Well, a lot closer to my own age than I had before, at least.
"Should I roll up my sleeves?" I asked.
"No!" Shawn and Matt shouted in unison, looking horrified at the suggestion.
"Not unless you're going as Don Johnson," Shawn added with a laugh.
Right. Miami Vice. Finally, a reference I get.
"So I'm ready?" I asked, turning to face them.
"Almost," Shawn said. "Now for the pièce de résistance." He spritzed some cologne on me that he had made me buy earlier that day and took a step back as if admiring a work of art. "And voila!" he said, throwing up his hands in a dramatic gesture.
"Dude, are you sure you're not gay?" Matt asked, narrowing his eyes. "It's totally cool if you are, of course."
"What's with the labels?" Shawn asked, shrugging his shoulders. "I just like people."
"Thank you, guys," I said, turning to look at myself again.
"No problem," Matt told me. "Now let's go get your girl back."
I gave myself one final glance and smiled.
Here goes nothing.
Chapter 19
"You all right?"
I glanced at Matt before loosening my grip on the steering wheel and turning my attention back to the road, but I didn't answer his question. The truth was that I was terrified. I was about to impersonate a gay man to gain access to a club so that I could ambush the girl I was in love with and beg for her forgiveness. As backup, I had my brother, who was just about the straightest man in the world, and his friend, who was "versatile," whatever the heck that meant. He could definitely pass for gay, but that was apparently a label, and Shawn wasn't comfortable with those. How we would ever get into that club was beyond me.
Even more frightening was the thought of finally seeing Julia again. I hoped that Sophia had given her the re-graded paper that had gotten me into this mess to
begin with, and that she might be slightly less inclined to yell at me when she saw that I had made sure it was graded fairly. But she hadn't contacted me and I could only assume that, in her mind, our arrangement was over. I hoped that I’d make her rethink that decision before the night was over. The real problem was that I had no clue how to do that. I had wronged her, and I had hurt her.
"I don't know what to do when I see her," I finally admitted, not taking my eyes off the traffic.
"You just need to be totally casual and aloof," Matt said. "Let her come to you. Chicks hate it when guys ignore them. If it were any other club I would tell you to start flirting with another girl right in front of her. That shit works every time!"
That didn't make any sense. "But Julia will probably know that I'm there to see her. It's a gay bar, after all."
"Oh, no problem-o. Just tell her that we're there for Shawn's sake because he's the gayest gay man alive."
"But I'm not," Shawn piped up from the backseat.
"Come on, man. Can't you just act like that dude married to the other dude from Modern Family?”
“Cam?” Shawn asked. “But he’s such a cliché!”
"I would never ask you to do that," I said quickly.
"Do it for Stephen," my brother coaxed. "He was finally getting laid and he was a lot less uptight."
I hated to admit it, but I had felt a lot more relaxed in the brief period when Julia and I had been sleeping together.
"Fine." Shawn sighed. "I'm doing it for you, Stephen."
"Thank you," I said. "I really appreciate all your help."
"That's OK. I'm a sucker for romance," he said with a grin. "But in my opinion, you should disregard Matt's advice."
I knew it.
"What's wrong with it?" my brother asked.
"Um, everything," Shawn said. "He can't just show up and ignore her. He should be attentive and compliment her."
"No way!" Matt half-yelled. "Then she has all the power."
She already does.
"She already has the power," Shawn said, as if he had read my thoughts. "He can't act like an asshole when she's still mad at him. He's trying to win her back, remember?"
"Yeah, but even so. He can't act like a complete pussy in front of her. Women like men who are confident," Matt argued.
"Well, that is true, I suppose," Shawn admitted.
My head was spinning. Now I was even more nervous! Ignoring Julia really didn't seem like a good idea. But would she really prefer it if I were more confident? It wasn't exactly a quality that I possessed in droves, and it hadn't seemed to bother her one bit that I was so inexperienced. But she had also told me that she liked it when I’d been in control, the night I got drunk and had my way with her repeatedly. In fact, I remembered her saying that it was the best sex she’d ever had.
Like I could ever forget her saying that.
Now I was torn between throwing myself at her feet and begging her for forgiveness or playing it cool when I saw her.
God, this is so complicated.
"So what should I do?"
"You love her, right?" Shawn asked. "This isn't just a sex thing?"
"Officially it's just sex, but…yes, I'm in love with her."
"What do you mean, 'officially’?"
"It started out as a casual thing, but lately it's been more for me. A lot more.”
"But she doesn't know that?"
"No. At least, I don't think so," I said quietly.
"Huh. So you're going to try and convince her to start fucking again when really you're in love with her and want a relationship. You're in over your head, my friend."
"Don't I know it," I said with a sigh.
"Oh, but the plot thickens." Matt grinned. "She's his student and they can only see each other on the DL or Stephen will get fired."
"What's the DL?" I asked.
"The down low," Shawn explained. "When you're keeping something secret. It's actually a specific term in the gay community for men who sleep with other men secretly because some are scared to come out to their families. There are even guys who are married to women who sleep with men secretly on the side. Pretty messed up, if you ask me. It’s 2014, not 1914, and we live in San Francisco.”
"Oh," I said, hoping that Shawn wouldn't think any less of me now that he knew Julia was my student. “That’s awful.”
"She is single, right?" he asked pointedly.
"Um, yeah. She's not married or anything like that.”
But I couldn't get Julia's relationship status on the Fa—on Facebook—out of my mind. I briefly considered asking my two knowledgeable companions what it might mean, but decided against it. That would reveal that I secretly looked at her profile page. Which I did, a lot.
And now I'm following her to a club. I'm officially a stalker. What's next, night vision goggles?
"Um, so, how should I approach her tonight?" I asked, seeing how we really hadn't resolved anything.
"Maybe it's better if you just act like yourself. I mean, she did sleep with you before when you were all…awkward," Shawn said.
My brother groaned. "I still think that casual is the best way to go. You look great tonight and I bet she'll be all over you the second she sees you. Play hard to get."
"But I'm easy," I said immediately. Both of them laughed.
"Say that loudly at the club and you'll definitely get in," Shawn chuckled. "They'll put out the welcome mat."
I rolled my eyes when I realized what I had actually said.
"Ha-ha. I just don't think I can pretend like that," I admitted. "And I still don't understand how it helps me if she thinks that I don't want her. I'm sorry, Matt, but that just doesn't make any sense to me."
"I know what I'm talking about," he insisted. "Who gets laid more, me or you?"
"You do," I grumbled.
"Yeah, but when was the last time you had a girlfriend?" Shawn asked Matt. "Stephen isn't just out to get laid. He's on a mission of love and I think it's romantic. He's fighting to win back the woman he loves."
I stared at Shawn in the rearview mirror and saw that he was smiling dreamily.
"Dude, you need a girlfriend," Matt said to Shawn. "Or a boyfriend. How the hell do you decide, anyway?"
"I told you," Shawn said. "It's about the person. If I meet someone interesting and attractive I don't care whether it's a guy or a girl. Hey, pull in at the parking lot.”
* * *
Walking the short distance to the club, I could feel my nerves getting the better of me.
This is probably my only chance to get her back. I can't screw this up.
I stopped abruptly outside the entrance, overwhelmed by waves of nausea.
"Oh God," I groaned, leaning forward with my hands on my knees. "I don't know if I can do this."
The guys stopped next to me and I felt one of them pat my back.
"Problem?" a deep husky voice asked.
I looked up and saw the bouncer staring intently at me.
"He just came out," Shawn said excitedly. "It's his first time at a club." He clapped his hands, doing a pretty convincing impression of a very, very gay man.
"Ooh, a virgin!" The bouncer grinned. I had no choice but to nod and give the guy a watery smile.
"It'll be fine, hon. Take a deep breath, and come on in," he said. I couldn't help but appreciate the sincerity in his eyes.
And just like that, we were past the first hurdle.
Shawn led us inside and my eyes darted around the room, seeking out the women who were there. Apparently, so did Matt's.
"Look at all the hotties!" he boomed, just as a song ended.
Oh no. We're busted!
“Woo!” A group of men sitting nearby lifted their glasses to us.
"Matt, for the love of all that's holy, will you please control yourself," Shawn whispered.
"Sorry," he mumbled, although it didn't stop him from ogling the women at the bar.
"Look, if you do get caught staring—and you probably will," Shawn sa
id pointedly, "just tell them that you think their outfit is fabulous or something like that."
Matt nodded and continued his gawking. There was no way this was going to work.
Somehow, we made it to the bar without incident, although I did see more than a few men looking appreciatively at me. I suddenly felt very exposed and uncomfortable.
Is this how women feel at regular clubs? Like a piece of meat?
"What can I get for you, sugar?" the bartender asked me while looking me up and down.
Oh God, what should I order? A beer? No, that's too heterosexual, isn't it? Some kind of drink? I don't know any drinks, really. Wine, maybe? Dammit! I should have done research before I came here.
The bartender was still smiling while I unraveled on the inside.
"I…I don't drink a lot. What tastes good?" I finally managed to ask. He licked his lips suggestively and I cringed internally. I didn't have anything against gay people at all, but I could only imagine what he was thinking after my asinine query.
"I'll hook you up, don’t worry," he said and started pouring different liquors into a blender. After a lot of mixing and adding things he handed me a glass full of paper umbrellas and pieces of fruit. I went for my wallet but he waved it off.
"It's on me," he said.
"Oh…I, um, thank you?"
"No problem," he said before leaning over the bar. "I get off at two and I could be getting you off half an hour later."
He…he wants to…oh dear God!
My face felt like it was on fire and I almost dropped my drink. He winked, turning to Shawn and Matt, who placed their orders. I stared down at my wildly expensive shoes for a while, trying to get my bearings.
"Dude, this is so unfair!" Matt whined next to me.
"Huh?" I asked.
I heard Shawn snicker and focused on my surroundings again. I was gripping my untouched drink, completely frozen on the spot. I looked at the bar and noticed several drinks lined up that I hadn’t ordered.
"Where did they come from?" I asked.
"You have quite a few admirers," Shawn said with a grin, motioning around the bar area. I looked up and saw several men raise their glasses to me.
"They…bought all those for me?" I asked disbelievingly.
"Yup. If things don't work out with Julia, you should seriously think about playing the field. The guys in here are really into you, my friend."
