by Sj Hooks
I didn't know how to respond. I had no interest in anyone other than Julia—male or female. But I had to admit the attention was sort of flattering. Matt was pouting and sulking next to Shawn.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked, eager to turn the attention away from me and my apparent appeal to gay men.
"I didn't get any drinks," he muttered.
"Are you serious?"
"Well, I thought I looked pretty good tonight.”
"You're not gay!" I reminded him in a hushed tone.
"I know. But I don't want them to think that I'm not hot," he defended himself. "I even got my eyebrows waxed, for fuck's sake! You don't know the pain I've suffered."
"Maybe you're just a little jealous that your brother is the one getting all the attention for a change," Shawn teased.
“Oh, please,” he scoffed, not convincingly at all.
Matt is jealous…of me.
Mixed with all my nervousness, the notion sounded completely hysterical in my mind. The whole thing was so surreal. I started laughing uncontrollably and Shawn joined in. Matt huffed, but this only made me laugh harder. I turned my head to wipe my eyes and my laugh turn into a croak.
She's here.
Julia was standing on the edge of the dance floor, staring at me. Her eyes scanned me from head to toe and her mouth opened as if she were about to say something. Sophia and Megan were dancing behind her, but stopped when they noticed that she wasn't moving. Sophia leaned in to say something and I saw Julia answer without taking her eyes off me. Before I had a chance to approach her, she turned abruptly and ran off. I was about to race after her, but Sophia motioned for me to stay put. She and Megan joined us at the bar.
"Did she leave?" I asked the second they were within earshot, noticing how panicked my voice sounded.
"No, she just went to the bathroom," Sophia assured me.
I relaxed a little but didn't take my eyes off the spot where Julia had been standing only seconds earlier.
"Wow. Thirsty, Stephen?" she asked with a grin, pointing to the drinks on the bar.
"I didn't buy those," I said. "Help yourself."
"Then who did?" Megan asked.
I was surprised that she was even talking to me, considering how angry she had been when I came to her and Sophia for help just a few days ago.
"Some guys," I said vaguely. "I can’t drink them. I'm driving."
The girls grabbed a beverage each as Matt finally noticed my company. He was at my side immediately.
"H-Hi, Megan," he stuttered. "Wow, you look really pretty tonight, like totally beautiful. Can I get you a drink?"
So much for casual and aloof, huh, Matt?
She held up the drink that I’d offered her, but I did notice the small smile she granted my brother.
"Thank you," she said. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"I'm just here for my brother," he said as he gave me a pat on my shoulder. Megan's smile widened a little. "That's very decent of you," she said, making him grin like an idiot.
I realized that I hadn't introduced Shawn, but when I turned to him I saw that he was completely entranced by something behind me. Turning around, I noticed that Sophia was staring back at him, just as absorbed. Neither of them said anything. They just looked intently at each other, as if they were having a silent conversation with their eyes.
Odd. Maybe they’re having a staring contest. Is that a thing these days?
I looked back to the dance floor, my heart skipping a beat when I saw Julia standing there again. She stared at me with an unreadable expression on her face. She seemed hesitant, as if she were considering whether she should approach me and the rest of the group. I realized that I could never play hard to get. I was hers if she would have me. Slowly, I took a step toward her to see if she was going to bolt, but she held her ground and her stare turned into a leer.
Please don’t run.
I had the distinct feeling that the next few moments would be some of the most important in my life. I had to somehow convince her that I wasn't the asshole that she thought I was. I was a confused lovesick mess who had no experience in this area, but if she would give me another chance I would do whatever I could to make her smile and laugh every day.
Ignoring the comments from a few men I passed on the way, I took slow steps toward her, focused on her face. My eyes left hers for a second and I finally noticed how incredible she looked tonight. Her hair was stick straight and pulled back in a high ponytail. It looked silky and smooth and I wanted to run my fingers through it. Her eye makeup was the same smudgy stuff as always, and now I actually found myself liking it, because it was so her. She was wearing a red sleeveless top and the tightest pants that I had ever seen. They were black, shiny, and reminded me of the ones that Olivia Newton-John wore in Grease.
I'm looking at a beautiful woman and thinking of a musical. Shawn would approve, I’m sure.
She was so beautiful and I wanted her desperately. I had missed her so much and all I wanted to do was grab her, kiss her, and never let go of her again. Her scowl made it pretty clear that this was not an option, though. She was still angry with me and I needed to fix it immediately.
"Julia," I breathed out, stopping right in front of her.
I love you and I've missed you like crazy.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she whisper-yelled. "You do realize that this is a gay bar, right? The last time I checked, you liked tits."
On cue, my eyes darted down to her chest to admire her breasts in the fitted top. I liked hers, that was for sure, and I even liked her crude word to describe them. It reminded me of the things she would say when we were in bed together. When I looked back up she was smirking a little.
"Julia, I…"
"Did you follow me here?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.
"No, I…I mean, we came here because of Shawn. He's really gay. Like, super gay," I babbled nervously.
Julia glanced behind me and her smirk grew. "Is that the guy who has his tongue shoved down Sophia's throat right now?" she asked with a hint of amusement.
What?
I whipped my head around and sure enough, Shawn was mid-liplock with Sophia.
Damn you, Shawn. We bring you to a gay bar and you decide that you like women tonight?
"I-I don't know what to say," I admitted. "I'm really sorry, Julia."
"For what, exactly?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I’m sorry for lying to you just now,” I started. “I knew that you were coming here tonight. I had to see you to apologize and you weren't taking my calls." I drew a breath. “And I’m sorry for writing those awful things on your paper and giving it an F. I never meant for you to see it, and I, well, you see…”
"Look, it doesn’t matter anymore,” she interrupted. "Apology accepted, OK? Now we can both get on with our lives. No hard feelings, Stephen."
"But—”
She walked past me without a second glance and left me on the edge of the dance floor, feeling like my heart had just been ripped out of my chest. I turned and watched as she said something to her friends and the three of them walked toward the exit. Sophia caught my eye and mouthed "Sorry" before they stepped outside.
Was that it? Will I never see her again?
I stumbled over to Shawn and Matt and opened my mouth, but I had no idea what to say.
"They just went outside for a smoke," Matt said, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "She'll be back."
While I felt relieved knowing that I would in fact see her again, I didn’t think it would make much of a difference.
"But…she doesn't want me anymore," I half-whispered.
"Of course she does," Shawn said, trying to reassure me. "I saw the way she was looking at you."
"No," I moaned. "She accepted my apology and said that now we could get on with our lives."
"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Matt said, but he didn't sound very certain.
"Why don't you go outside and talk to her?" Shawn s
uggested. "You can bring her jacket for her." He held it out to me and smiled at me. "Nothing ventured, right?"
"OK," I agreed, taking a deep breath. Armed with Julia's jacket, I went outside, noticing the girls walking around the corner. I followed them and was about to make my presence known when Sophia's voice rang out.
"Come on, Julia. Give the guy another chance!"
"Why should I?"
"Because he came to a gay club just to talk to you," Megan said. "The guy may have acted like an idiot, but that takes balls."
"Yeah," Sophia supplied. "And he even got new clothes and everything. You can't tell me you don't think he looks good tonight."
There was a pause. I knew that I shouldn't be eavesdropping but I couldn't bring myself to walk around the corner just yet. Julia was like a closed book and I just wanted to know her better.
"He always looks good," she said quietly. "But it doesn't matter. It's over."
Oh God, no.
"Why?" Sophia asked. "He apologized and he made sure you got an A."
"You don't understand," Julia said. "I only want an A if Stephen thinks that I deserve it. He's the best teacher I've ever had and I respect his opinion, you know? I worked so hard on that paper and I thought it was great."
"It is great," Megan interrupted. "I read it, remember?"
"Yeah, but Stephen didn't think so, and it made me question my abilities. I can't let a guy have that kind of power over me."
"But he gave it to another professor to grade," Sophia said.
"That doesn't really matter. I mean, if he only did it because I had a bitch fit and called him a jackass or whatever, then I don't want the new grade."
"I think you should let him explain," Megan said. I was surprised to hear that she was on my side.
"No, it's better this way." Julia said. "A clean break, before someone gets hurt."
"I think someone is already hurt," Sophia said quietly. "Did you see the look on Stephen's face when we walked outside?"
There was another pause and I wondered if I had really looked as devastated as I felt after Julia had walked away from me.
"He likes you, Jules," Sophia said softly.
"I know," she said quietly.
"And you like him, right? I mean, even with the whole grade debacle."
"Of course. I mean, what's not to like? He's hot and sweet at the same time. He's a great cook, a fantastic lay, and he pulled my goddamn chair out for me like we were in a black and white movie. He should have a girlfriend and not a fuck buddy. He should be with that woman he went on a date with."
I don't want her. I want you.
"But I thought you said he didn't want to see her again," Megan asked.
"No, he said that he didn't want to see two people at the same time," Julia corrected. "Now he can see her exclusively and I can get back to my regular routine."
"I don't think he would have come to a gay bar if it didn't matter to him which of the two of you he’s seeing," Sophia ventured. "I think you should give him a chance. Not all guys are assholes. You have to let that go, Jules. Stephen treats you right and he really likes you.”
Please don't say anymore! She'll run in the opposite direction if she knows how much.
I couldn't wait any longer and risk that Sophia would mention the word ”love.”
"Julia?" I called out as if I’d just walked outside. I turned the corner and all three girls stared at me.
"I, uh, I brought your jacket. It's a little chilly tonight," I said, handing it to her.
"Yeah, we should get back to the guys," Sophia said, practically pulling Megan with her around the corner, leaving me alone with Julia.
"So, um…how have you been?" I asked awkwardly, burying my hands in my pockets.
"Pretty fucking bad," she said, taking drag of her cigarette.
"I'm sorry. Listen, Julia. About the grade—”
"I told you, it doesn't matter," she said quickly. "Just forget about it."
"It does matter," I insisted. "I did something completely reprehensible. I read your paper while I was drinking. A lot. I was upset after you sent me those texts, and, well, you remember how I was when you came to my place—angry and frustrated. But that’s no excuse. You were absolutely right. I was an asshole and I couldn't separate things."
"Stephen—”
"And you deserve the A you got on the paper. Brian, I mean, Professor Barrie even said that it was a great start to a thesis and that you had some exciting new ideas. Your paper’s excellent and I'm a moron. I just wanted you to know that."
"I think I already knew," she said.
"What? That you're a great student or that I'm a moron?"
"Both," she said, giving me a hint of a smile. I let out a nervous laugh.
"Do you want to go back inside?" I asked as she stubbed her cigarette out on the ground.
"I think I'm heading home," she said. "I wasn't really in a party mood to begin with and I only came because Megan and Sophia dragged me here."
"Let me give you a ride," I offered immediately. I still hadn't convinced her to start our arrangement again and I wanted to talk to her without all the noise in the club.
"I can just walk," she said.
"Hell no!" I growled out of nowhere.
Julia chuckled. "Wow, listen to you.”
"I learned from the best," I said with a grin. "Um, you know I mean you, right?"
She laughed loudly, and I determined that it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. "I almost forgot how funny you are.”
"So can I take you home?" I asked after she was done laughing.
"You don't want to stay?"
"No, I just came to see you," I admitted. "And I really don't like the attention I’m getting in there."
"Fair enough," she said. "I should tell the girls that I'm leaving."
I followed her back inside and couldn't stop myself from smiling so much that it almost hurt my cheeks. I had made Julia laugh and she had agreed to let me give her a ride. It was more than I had dared to hope for.
By the bar, Sophia and Shawn looked like they were eating each other's faces again while Megan and Matt stood next to them looking very uncomfortable. A few of the gay gentlemen close by were making gagging noises and mumbling about having no sacred place to themselves anymore.
"I'm leaving in a minute," Julia announced, grabbing one of the drinks. "Yours?" she asked.
"I guess so," I admitted. "Some guy bought it for me."
She smirked, taking a large sip. "Sophia," she said, tugging on her friend's sleeve.
"Don't bother," Megan said, rolling her eyes. "I already tried that. Are you guys really leaving? Umm, together, I mean?" She looked curiously between me and Julia and judging from the conversation I’d overheard outside, I couldn't blame her for being surprised.
"Stephen’s giving me a ride," Julia said. "Are you guys going too?"
Surprisingly, Megan turned and looked at my brother. "Are you leaving?"
"Hell, no. I like it here!" he exclaimed, pointing to the bar top. "Look, I got drinks!"
I couldn't help but laugh as Megan smiled at him. "I guess we're staying," she told Julia.
"You'll get her home safely, right?" Julia asked Matt with a hint of warning in her voice. "And make sure your friend does the same for Sophia."
"Of course, Julia.”
"Jules," she corrected him and smiled.
Why hasn't she told me to call her ”Jules” if that's what she prefers?
"Are you ready to go?" she asked, turning to me. I nodded. Behind Julia’s back, Matt gave me a thumbs up, followed by some very crude pelvic movements that made Megan cackle in delight and even hit his arm in a playful manner.
Those two seem to be getting along. Who would have thought?
I walked behind Julia, trying my best not to stare at her backside, which looked incredibly appealing in her skintight pants. As we passed a table I heard one of the men complain about me leaving. Julia stopped and smiled at them.
"Relax, boys," she said. "Better that he leaves with his hag than some other guy, right? We'll be back another night."
”Hag”? That doesn't sound very complimentary.
I tried not to look too shocked, but I didn't think I did a very good job. The men still seemed disappointed.
"I know, I know," Julia said, sighing. "He is quite the piece of man candy. I can't tell you how many times I've shown him my boobs, hoping for a little action. Sadly, he doesn’t like girls."
Why is she saying this?
"Stephen, honey," she purred, tugging at the bottom hem of my T-shirt. "Why don't you give the boys a little peek as a consolation prize, since I'm stealing you away and all?"
She smiled at me but I could see an evil gleam in her eye.
She's doing this to punish me!
I let her pull up my shirt to reveal my stomach for a few seconds, but when one of the men reached out to touch me, I had had enough. Grabbing Julia by her hand, I stormed out of there. I could feel the anger building in me as I dragged her across the deserted parking lot.
"What the hell were you doing back there?" I demanded when we reached my car.
"Relax. I was just playing.”
"This is not a game!" I seethed. "You can't just do something like that."
"Yes, I can, actually," she said, raising her chin. "I can do whatever the fuck I want." She poked me in the chest with her index finger, sneering at me. "And you can't tell me what to do," she said with a final poke.
"God, why do you have to be such a—” I was very close to calling her a derogatory term, but managed to control myself. Her eyes flared. She obviously knew what I’d wanted to say.
"What did you expect?" she asked. "Why did you even come here tonight? We're over, Stephen!"
"No, we're not—don't say that!"
"Why not? It's the truth, after all. We were just having sex and now we're done. You can get yourself a nice normal girlfriend and live happily ever after. Isn't that what you want?"
"No!" I said immediately. "I want you!"
I took two steps forward, forcing her to sit down on the hood of my car. I stepped in between her parted legs and pushed her back on her elbows.
