“That sucks.” Okay, so perhaps he wasn’t always professional. “I was going to ask if you wanted to visit Chicago this weekend. We’ve got a photo shoot.” He grinned as he stacked some papers together and put them in his briefcase, appearing as carefree as ever. Of course, he had no idea that the class was whispering about us. I was sure they were, after the odd conversation with that girl. She was bound to spread the word.
Students were still filing out of the room, looking over their shoulders at us with knowing grins plastered on their faces.
I cleared my throat and waited for the last person to leave.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why?” He sounded disappointed.
“I want to go, but I think people are talking about us.” I don’t know where I found the courage to say something like that.
Cameron frowned. “That’s strange. You have a boyfriend. Anyway, their gossip shouldn’t ruin important work.”
I found myself nodding. However, I didn’t know if his dismissal of the rumors helped me decide what to do about the situation. I wanted to go with him to Chicago, especially since we would be doing some real work, but I also needed time to hunt down Gabriel and ask him what the hell was going on. On the other hand, if I stayed here over the weekend and he continued to ignore me, I would be devastated. Some days away could perhaps help me clear my head.
Cameron must have noticed my indecision. “It will be great. You don’t have to pay for anything while we’re there, and I’ll give you some extra cash for the trouble.”
I felt myself slipping. “What kind of photo shoot is it?”
“It’s a fashion shoot. You’ll bring a fresh eye, so please think about it.” He grabbed his briefcase and made his way to the door, almost as if he took it for granted that I would say yes after those words. He was partially right. Flattery always worked—even on me.
“I’m not sure I have an eye for that kind of thing.” I remained skeptical.
“I’ve seen your photos, so you can’t fool me. You definitely have a talent for it.”
Shaking my head at the ridiculous notion, I caught up with him at the door and walked outside. We stopped as he turned to lock up the lecture hall, and I realized that I was being an idiot. I couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this. Besides, I liked Chicago.
“Don’t overdo it. I’ll come.”
“Great. I’ll book our tickets later and send you the details. See you tomorrow.” And with that, he walked off, disappearing into the crowd while I stood there like a fool, wondering how the hell I would break the news to Chris without worsening the situation. Who was I kidding? Chris would have a field day with this information.
I sighed again and slumped against the wall. My chest clenched at the thought of a weekend without resolving things with Gabriel. We needed to talk, but how long would I have to listen to the monotone signals before he decided to pick up? Every time I tried in vain, I felt the rejection all over again.
* * * *
Chris was laughing. It wasn’t even one of those regular laughs ringing with simple good humor—instead he clutched his stomach and more or less choked on himself as he clasped the navy-blue duvet beneath him. The apartment felt too small as he continued—there was no space to hide from him.
“You’re telling me…?” He continued to laugh, barely able to speak.
“Yes. We’re going to Chicago. No, it’s not a romantic weekend.” I folded my arms across my chest, hoping his misdirected amusement would die down. The prospect of a weekend away was losing its appeal more and more. In fact, it was a terrible idea.
Chris shook his head, still laughing.
“Chris, it’s not funny!”
“Says who?” More laughter.
“I do.” I sat back against the wall, holding a pillow tightly to my chest. “You’re making this awkward for me. Aren’t you supposed to be the supportive friend?” Chris’ reaction made me want to cancel the trip. If he saw it this way, then I didn’t want to know what others would say. The students on my photography course might treat me differently if they knew, and I wanted to avoid that kind of attention.
And if Gabriel finds out… I stopped the thought, knowing how bad it would make me feel. I already felt like crap for agreeing to go with Cameron even if I hadn’t been able to talk to Gabriel about it.
The bed dipped beneath us as Chris inched closer to pat my shoulder. He made an effort to stifle his chuckling. The attempt wasn’t very successful, but it helped to calm me down a notch.
“I’m sorry, Adam, but you really should date this teacher.”
“Why would you say that?” My annoyance grew again.
“Because you get so flustered.”
I wanted to smack him. He was right about me being flustered, but I didn’t enjoy the reminder. I couldn’t think about me and Cameron that way. He was attractive enough to distract me even without the added tension. Besides, I needed to think about Gabriel, not Cameron. I had to find a solution that would keep us together—losing him wasn’t an option now that we had finally ventured beyond friendship. A twinge of pain that I’d grown accustomed to during the week nipped at my effort to keep up appearances.
“I’m easily flustered.”
“That pout, though.” Chris laughed again.
“What?” I winced and pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn’t like where this was going.
“You’re pouting.”
“So what if I am?”
“Never mind. I’m happy for you.” He calmed down and patted my shoulder again. “Chicago sounds awesome. Wish I could go with you.”
“Well, maybe you can. It’s not like you’re interrupting something.” I was slowly reaching the point where my voice would hint at anger rather than mild annoyance. Chris should have known when to stop.
“Nah, I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you.”
“You wouldn’t be ruining anything.”
“But,” Chris waggled his eyebrows, “you never know.”
This time I did smack him—a light touch across his head that made his blond hair fly. However, my attempt at anger didn’t seem to make much difference.
“I’m just saying that you never know. You don’t know what he’s planned.”
I wanted to wipe the grin off his face but thought better of it and rose to leave. If he found it amusing, he could go ahead and make fun of me as long as I didn’t have to listen.
The door closed behind me with a firm click. It was late at night and the corridor was oddly silent. Most likely, the other residents were trying to catch up on some sleep before tomorrow. Fridays were always tiring, not only because they marked the end of five days in school but because everyone expected you to stay up late and have fun.
The linoleum floor squeaked beneath my soles as I approached the large window at the end of the long corridor. It looked out over a small parking lot and patches of nature between countless buildings—barren branches that would burst alive with greenery in a few weeks. Rebirth. Another chance for another season.
Leaning against the granite windowsill, I got out my phone and checked it for the umpteenth time. Still no messages. No missed phone calls. I sighed and put it away, trying to distance myself from it all.
If I had been stronger, I might have walked down the stairs and knocked on Gabriel’s door, but I wasn’t ready to face yet another silent rejection or an angry outburst. Gabriel needed time, and I might as well try my best to learn as much as I could from Cameron, even if it felt like I was betraying Gabriel’s trust by going.
I grasped the cold granite. It was solid beneath my fingers, unrelenting and steady. I had no wish to turn into stone, but perhaps it was better to steel my emotions than letting them run rampant. Logic said that Gabriel had no reason to think ill of me for going to Chicago to do my job—so I would listen.
Chapter Eleven
“Do you have everything?” Cameron asked as he took my suitcase and flung it into the back of his car atop the mountain of eq
uipment.
“I think so.” I scraped the asphalt with my shoe, feeling the thin layer of ice on the surface. The late afternoon sun hung low on the horizon, allowing the chill to spread its icy fingers. My excitement helped to keep me warm as I couldn’t stand still for a second.
Cameron made sure that his gear was secure and closed the trunk. “Great, let’s get going. I hate cutting it close to airports. Always makes me nervous.”
I almost smiled at that. It was difficult to imagine Cameron being anything but calm. He’d always appeared laid back whenever I’d been around—all easy smiles and effortlessly kind. However, I was still subdued after my late-night thoughts and not yet ready to let go of my problems waiting in the red brick building behind me—I couldn’t laugh, not when Gabriel might’ve been watching. He would misinterpret the situation.
Cameron revved the engine and steered the car toward the highway. “Did I drag you away from any important parties this weekend?” He reached for his sunglasses lying between the seats, and placed them on the bridge of his nose.
“No. Didn’t have any plans, actually.”
“Really?” He sounded surprised.
I gripped the handle beside me, clutching tightly. “Not much of a party person these days.”
“Why not?”
We moved into heavier traffic, and I almost asked him to focus on his driving—not because he was a bad driver, but to prevent him from talking. He would see right through my strained smile if he continued.
When I didn’t answer, he gave me an apologetic shrug. “I hope your boyfriend isn’t too upset with me for stealing you away like this.”
I closed my eyes and counted to five. “He’s fine with it.” Another lie. It tasted sour on my tongue—almost rancid.
“Good. Didn’t seem like the guy to cross. Does he play football or something? I was surprised he got through the door with those shoulders that first time we met.”
I swallowed down my unease. This was not a topic I wanted to delve deeper into. Even so, I had to answer something, otherwise my silence would worsen the situation.
“He’s got a scholarship.”
“Well done, Adam’s boyfriend.” He paused. “What’s his name again?”
“Gabriel.” Saying his name was enough to tighten my chest. I wished I could ask him to change the topic. Anything would be better than this.
“So, what’s he doing this weekend then?”
I knew he was asking to be polite, and also perhaps to break my silence, but he wasn’t helping.
I fumbled for the right words, or, rather, the right kind of lie. “He’s visiting his parents.”
“Good timing.”
It was a nonsense answer, but I was glad he’d run out of questions about my boyfriend. I didn’t even know if he was my boyfriend anymore. Forcing the thought away before it consumed all traces of happiness, I leaned against the cold glass and watched the houses we sped past. They all looked alike—a typical suburb sprawling at the outskirts of the city. I wondered if the wealthy residents had to keep up appearances sometimes, or if they lived their lives without complications.
Cameron moved on to other topics, and the farther we drove, the calmer I became. It was as if the added distance between me and the source of my problems helped to keep them at bay. Soon, we were talking as if nothing was wrong. Cameron had a talent for helping me to relax in his presence—as if hanging out with him was the most natural thing in the world. He didn’t judge me, and he kept things light even if he seemed to care beyond what was required. He demanded nothing, which was a stark contrast to Gabriel.
Cameron stared out of the car window and pointed, making me clutch the seat belt as he drove a bit too close to the car in front. “We’ll go to a place that looks a bit like that one, but it’s rundown rather than renovated.”
When Cameron finally noticed his car’s reflection in the bumper ahead, he slowed enough so I dared to have a look. Frowning, I wondered why anyone would want to pose in front of a factory.
“It’s a pretty rough part of Chicago, so make sure to keep an eye out while we’re there. The models will bring security, but I can’t really afford extras while we’re setting up.”
“Okay.” I eyed Cameron. He could definitely defend himself, but I was as scrawny as they came. Gym had never agreed with me. “I won’t be much help if something happens.”
He laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll be fine. And I didn’t hire you to be my bodyguard.”
I chuckled. “You don’t say.”
Judging by the grin on his face, he agreed.
* * * *
Two hours later, the plane took off with a deafening roar. When it finally leveled, thousands of feet above the ground, I relaxed in my seat and gazed outside. It was a cloud-free sky and, despite the setting sun, I could see the landscape spread out beneath us. It was a clear reminder that it was too late to change my mind. I was going to Chicago and I would have to make the best of our trip.
Cameron leaned over me and stared through the thick glass. “I love flying,” he commented. “I think I was a bird in my old life. I’m like a little kid each time I’m in an airplane.”
I pressed back to allow him more space. He was close. Very close. I inhaled the subtle scents of pine and sandalwood that I’d grown accustomed to during our evenings together. It was a nice cologne, I had to admit. It suited him well—it was calming and not too heavy, much like he was.
When he didn’t pull back straight away, my nerves began to twist with apprehension at his proximity, until my heart beat a little faster. It didn’t settle down until he’d reclined into his own seat. Only seconds had passed by, but it was enough to make me confused.
“Have you been on any long flights?” Cameron asked. He appeared completely unaware of having crowded my space. I was pretty sure he hadn’t meant anything by it, but still.
“No, not really. Never been outside the States.”
“That’s a shame. Good thing about being a photographer is that you travel to odd places.”
The plane hit some turbulence and, as we dropped, I wondered if long flights were for me. “Where have you been?”
“Probably can’t list all of them. My favorite is New Zealand, though. Pretty amazing place.”
I resisted the urge to bump his shoulder. “Stop the name-dropping. You’re making me jealous. I’ve always wanted to visit.” I imagined the dramatic landscape depicted in too many movies to count. Going there would definitely be a dream come true.
“Not too late. You still have a long life in front of you.” He smiled and took a swig of orange juice.
“I don’t know if that made me sound young, or if it made you sound old.”
Cameron chuckled. It was a sweet sound. I’d noticed it from day one, but every now and then it struck me how good it made me feel.
“Definitely the former.”
I scoffed. “I’m not that young.”
“Maybe not, but I’m definitely not old.” He gave me a quick smile and began to leaf through a magazine full of photographs and far too many ads.
I wondered if anyone ever bought stuff while they were flying. It seemed strange, but then, people had quirky habits sometimes.
When the plane finally touched ground, the situation with Gabriel appeared to be hundreds of miles away.
We got a couple of odd looks as we unloaded item after item from the baggage claim, but while I felt embarrassment creep up my cheeks, Cameron appeared unruffled.
“Think we’re almost done.” He checked his phone as well as the equipment. I had a feeling he kept a list, considering his tendency to misplace and forget things. “Yeah, we’re just missing a tripod.”
“That one?” I pointed behind him.
“Definitely that one. I hope we can get a cab to drive us with all this stuff.”
Cameron had been right to worry. None of the cabs standing outside the airport seemed willing to take us. Some ignored us completely while others shook their
heads. After a while, Cameron’s calm demeanor was long gone. “This is ridiculous.” The light scrunch of his nose begged for a smile. It tugged at the corner of my mouth until I gave in and let it spread wide.
“Why don’t we call for an Uber? I’m sure they’re more cooperative.”
He shrugged. “Worth a try.”
* * * *
We arrived at the hotel far later than we’d anticipated, but the central heating in the spacious lobby worked to lighten my mood. The young woman behind the large counter eyed Cameron like most women did. It was always strange to watch, even if I couldn’t fault them. He was attractive, after all.
We gave her our names as she tapped away on her computer. Her smile sank and a frown settled on her brow. “I’m sorry, sir.” She looked at Cameron, clearly uncomfortable. “There seems to be something wrong. I only have one room listed. We’re a bit crowded tonight since we have a conference over the weekend. You’re listed as having a double room, though. It’s easy to separate the beds.” She seemed ready to take a hit, but straightened her shoulders in faked confidence. Her formerly pink cheeks had paled.
Cameron glanced at me, shrugging with a tiny smile on his lips. He clearly wasn’t overly bothered by the situation.
I was definitely bothered, but I didn’t want to cause a scene. If he was fine with it, then I would be too. I just found it a bit too convenient for Chris’ theory. Surely Cameron had booked two rooms. I was about to ask but changed my mind.
“Don’t worry, we’ll arrange for the beds to be separated. Have a few drinks at the bar while we sort this out. Free of charge.” She smiled again, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Poor girl, she was nervous.
“It’s fine,” I said, and as I did, she released a small sigh.
Cameron continued to smile but didn’t comment.
A porter took our bags while we strode over to the dimly lit bar overlooking the lake. I knew it was a lake, but it was large enough to resemble the sea.
“So, sharing a room. Way to start our first overnighter,” Cameron said, taking a seat next to the panoramic window.
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