Eternally Bound

by T. A. DeMellet

  “Where are you going?” Satvi asked, grabbing his wrist, trying futilely to bring him back to bed.

  “I must go. I’ve already been gone too long and questions will be raised. Besides, your attendants will also begin to wonder where you are, your highness,” he said, flashing a devilish grin.

  “You know how I hate when you call me that,” Satvi pouted. “Must you really go? The thought of you leaving makes me sick with longing.”

  “Alas, royalty you are and therefore I must address you as such…but I also will miss you, my darling. Do not pout,” he said, lifting the corners of Satvi’s mouth into a smile. “We will have more opportunities soon. If my plans come to fruition, that is.”

  “Now Namesh, we spoke of your said ‘plans’, and I don’t think…” Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Namesh quickly ducked out the open window in one of his effortless movements. He disappeared so quickly it was like magic.

  “Princess, are you in there? Your father requests your presence at once!” The voice shouted from the other side of the door.

  “Yes, I am here! One moment, please,” Satvi called out. She dressed quickly and opened the door. Hasanti, her most trusted attendant was standing on the other side, her eyes darting quickly from Satvi’s face then scanning the room – obviously searching for someone.

  “He’s gone,” Satvi whispered. Hasanti sighed with relief.

  “Your father has requested to speak with you immediately. It is a matter of great urgency, he said,” Hasanti explained.

  “I’ll be down momentarily, Hasanti. Tell father I was bathing and require a few moments to finish dressing, and send Priya in to attend me. Thank you, my sweet dasa.” Satvi embraced her lady’s maid and kissed her on the cheek before closing the door in her surprised face.

  ***

  Within a few moments, another of Satvi’s attendants came in to help help her dress. Priya selected an elaborately embroidered sari for Satvi to wear. The celery-colored green silk complemented Satvi’s complexion and made her exquisite dark eyes stand out. “Enough fussing, Priya! Father is waiting for me.” Satvi was growing more anxious by the minute.

  “But princess, you know how his majesty is – he expects everyone to look their absolute best in his presence,” Priya argued. She was right of course, Satvi thought. Her father was not a loving, warm-hearted parent. He never doted upon his children. They were just like all his other subjects, and were expected to show reverence and respect at all times. He expected his daughters and wives to be immaculately dressed when seeking audience with him, which also meant he spared no expense on their wardrobes.

  “There,” Priya cooed. “You look breathtaking, your highness.” She clapped her hands together and smiled, as if she had just completed a great work of art.

  “Thank you, Priya. May I go now?” Satvi’s tone was slightly exasperated, but the corners of her mouth twitched as she tried holding back a smile. Priya really was a dear, sweet woman, and more motherly than Satvi’s own mother had ever been.

  “Yes, Yes! Go now princess, your father is waiting.” Priya quickly ushered Satvi out of the bedroom. Satvi made her way toward her father’s study; her slippers clapping softly against the marble floors. She took a deep breath then knocked confidently on the intricately-carved wooden door. Her father hated any signs of weakness…weak knocks included.

  “Enter,” her father’s voice boomed.

  Satvi opened the door and entered, dropping to her knees and bowing before her father, Shah Rajindar ud-Darajat.

  “You requested to see me, father?” Satvi asked, her head remained lowered.

  “Rise, daughter. We have an important matter to discuss. As you are well aware, the Mughal Empire is crumbling and we must do everything in our power to strengthen our alliances between the kingdoms. If we do not, we stand to lose everything we have to the Persians. In an attempt to strengthen our ties and increase our armies should we enter into war, I have arranged for you to marry the eldest son of Shah Balraj, Prince Almir.”

  “But father! I cannot marry…” The words slipped from her mouth without thinking and her father’s steely expression told her to mind her place.

  “You can marry, and you shall. You are well past marrying age at twenty years. I could have married you off sooner, but being that you are my most beautiful daughter, I knew I could make a much more valuable match by waiting. Prince Almir is ecstatic at the prospect of you as his bride,” Shah Rajindar explained.

  “Yes father, but please…I do not feel ready to marry. I am not acquainted with Prince Almir, and I…” Satvi faltered yet again. What could she say to convince her father? After all, she was his property to buy and sell when he saw fit. That’s all a woman was. Satvi knew that arguing would be futile, and would most likely lead to a painful punishment. She couldn’t help the tears from spilling over, and hastily wiped away at her cheeks.

  “Do not weep, daughter. You should be pleased with this match. Prince Almir is a handsome man of five and twenty, not an old codger! He will suit you well, Satvi. And you will make an exquisite bride. Remember, this alliance will bring our two kingdoms together and hopefully increase our chances of saving our empire. That, first and foremost, should be your greatest concern.” He raised his hand in dismissal, and continued tearing through the letters and materials before him. A servant opened the heavy wooden door and ushered Satvi through it.

  Satvi walked through the palace in a daze. She was in a state of complete shock. Never did she imagine that her betrothal would be the subject of discussion when her father summoned her. The happiness that had filled her this afternoon as she lay entwined with Namesh, had vanished completely. She was filled now with hopelessness. How would she explain this to her dear, beloved Namesh? It would break his heart, but surely he would understand that she was bound by her obligations as a princess. Wouldn’t he?

  Satvi’s only option was to marry Prince Almir as her father had arranged, and hopefully continue to have Namesh as her lover. If he would still have her…

  ***

  Days passed before Satvi saw Namesh again. She hated avoiding him, but she couldn’t find the strength to tell him of her betrothal. How was she to break the news to him? How would he react? Satvi feared that Namesh would sever ties between them – not because he would stop loving her, but she knew he would try and stay away for “her own good,” as he would most likely say.

  Satvi knew her happiness depended on being with Namesh. He was like the sun breaking through the clouds; he was the end of storms. He encompassed everything warm and brilliant in Satvi’s world. She wiped the tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands and resolved to face Namesh. She would tell him the heartbreaking news and hope for the best.

  “Hasanti,” she called out to her handmaiden.

  “Yes, princess?” Hasanti answered, bowing respectfully to her mistress.

  “I need to speak with Namesh. Can you send for him please? Tell him I will meet him in the eastern part of the garden.” There were magnificent topiaries in that area of the garden, as well as a large, noisy menagerie. Satvi knew they would not be seen or heard there.

  “Yes, your highness. I will make sure he knows to meet you there…are you certain though? Do you not think it best to wait until your father leaves next week?”

  “No, I cannot wait any longer. I will take my chances, Hasanti.”

  “As you wish,” Hasanti conceded.

  ***

  Namesh was surprised to see Hasanti – he’d been wondering when he would get a message from Satvi. It had been almost a week since he last saw her, and he had begun to worry, but he couldn’t risk sending a message to make sure she was alright. Satvi had not left the palace the entire time – not even for her usual morning strolls through the gardens. Namesh missed watching her traipse through the grounds with her lady’s maids…a splash of colorful silken saris amidst all the greenery. Namesh had wondered if perhaps Satvi had fallen ill, which was the first question he assaulted Hasan
ti with the minute he saw her.

  “No, she is not ill. The princess is in perfect health,” Hasanti assured.

  “Thank the gods!” Namesh said with relief. “Why has she not set foot outside the palace in six days?” Namesh continued his questioning, but Hasanti quickly put her hand up to stop him.

  “It is not my place to tell you, Namesh. She wishes to speak with you as soon as possible, and asked you meet her near the menagerie on the eastern side of the gardens.”

  “Oh,” was all Namesh managed to say. Why couldn’t she have met him in her quarters? He had sneaked into the palace on countless occasions. “I’ll be there. Thank you for the message Hasanti,” Namesh bowed and turned to leave.

  He quickly changed his rough linen shirt for a fresh, clean one. All the while, anxiety was building within him. He couldn’t help worrying about Satvi - something felt terribly wrong. Namesh splashed water on his face and ran his wet hands through his thick, black hair. Droplets of water clung to his long, dark lashes. He blinked them away impatiently, took a deep breath and began to make his way toward the palace gardens.

  As he rounded the corner of the menagerie, he spotted Satvi sitting on one of the marble benches beneath a magnificent elephant-shaped topiary. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. She was so beautiful it hurt. His heart ached as he watched her playing with the end of her long braid. His connection to her was more than just attraction – it ran deep; deep into his heart. He could feel her in his bones… in his soul.

  Satvi sensed Namesh’s presence and quickly turned to look at him. Their eyes locked – causing an explosion of emotions within them. Every emotion Satvi felt, was mirrored in Namesh’s expression. He was her breath, her blood. He was desire made tangible. Every part of her being sang out to him, drawing him closer to where she sat. He didn’t say a word, but took a seat next to her; his hand reaching out to caress her cheek. She closed her eyes involuntarily at his touch.

  “I’ve missed you,” he said. “Have you been unwell, my darling?”

  “Yes… no. Not ill exactly, but not well. Namesh, I have terrible news.” Satvi decided it best to be open and get the worst part over with.

  “What is it my love? Whatever it is, I am here to help you.”

  “Oh, gods help me! I don’t know how to say this…” Satvi said mostly to herself.

  “Satvi…” Namesh scolded. “You know you can tell me anything. We’ve been each other’s confidantes since we were children. Come now, out with it.”

  “My father has arranged my betrothal to Prince Almir,” she said in a rush.

  “What?” Namesh stood up quickly, then abruptly sat back down.

  Satvi lost her composure and was unable to hold back the tears any longer. “Namesh, I am sorry. You know I don’t want this. You know I have no choice. My father had already given his word before even telling me,” Satvi said angrily, wiping at her eyes. Finally saying aloud what she had been holding in all these days, unleashed a fresh wave of sobs. Namesh continued to sit motionless beside her.

  “When?” was all he asked.

  “I am not sure exactly. However long it takes them to plan the details of the wedding. My father seeks to unite our two kingdoms in hopes of strengthening the Mughal Empire. I’m sure it won’t be a long engagement though.” Satvi’s shoulders slumped forward in defeat. She had been sold to the highest bidder and had no choice in the matter.

  “We’ll escape. We will head toward the mountains. No one will risk searching for us there,” Namesh said after a long moment of silence.

  “My father will take the risk – he will find us, and have us both killed. I’ve already contemplated our escape, Namesh, and I don’t believe it is possible.”

  “Yes, but I’ve been planning for some time now. I’ve mapped out a route which will be impossible for your father’s men to follow,” he said pulling out a scrap of paper from his pocket and unfolding it to reveal a map of sorts with haphazard lines and landmarks. “We can do this Satvi,” Namesh said fervently. He had been planning to run away with her for months now. But Satvi always found fault with his plans. She knew her father would find her. She also knew surviving out there on their own would be difficult and dangerous.

  “What will we do for shelter and food? Once our supplies run out, Namesh, what shall we do then? We won’t get far without horses and my father has the best tracking dogs. They have been trained to go days without food while on the hunt. We’ve discussed every aspect of running away, but I just don’t see how it could work,” Satvi said sadly.

  “Then what will you have me do, your highness?” Satvi couldn’t help noticing the bitterness that seeped into his voice.

  “Please, don’t be angry with me. You know I love only you and would run away with you in a heartbeat if I thought we could succeed. But I have an idea that will allow us to still remain close. What if I request that you come with me? I shall have to choose my retinue of servants to come with me once I leave here. If you are among them, then you and I will still be together.”

  “Oh and what? You’ll make love to me once you’ve finished servicing your new husband? I may be a mere servant, princess, but I do have my pride. And have you not thought of what your new husband will do once he finds you’ve lost your maidenhood?” Namesh stood up and briskly walked away from Satvi, stopping in front of the menagerie with his arms crossed and his rigid back turned to her.

  Satvi sat in stunned silence. She hadn’t thought of the logistics of her new marriage and what it would entail. But now the full force of her predicament hit her. She would, of course, be expected to consummate the marriage, and then expected to produce an heir no doubt. Her virginity had been lost to Namesh, but no one except Hasanti knew of this. What would her father do if he discovered she was no longer a pure, Hindu princess? She didn’t even think of what Almir would do, because she did not plan on ever letting him touch her. But how could she avoid it? If they married, he would own her and be entitled to do as he pleased. And the consequences of losing one’s virginity before marriage were too gruesome to think of. Maidenhood was a precondition to marriage according to Hindu law, and the marriage would not be recognized or considered legally binding if the bride was no longer a virgin. The shame she would bring upon her father’s name was too difficult to think about. Not to mention that Prince Almir had been promised a kanya, or maiden, and he would have every right to execute her for not being as such.

  Satvi suddenly realized the enormity of her situation and that it was selfish of her to want Namesh to accept all of this and still continue wanting to be her lover. What kind of person would she be if she asked him to stay with her? The physical distance between them made her heart ache with longing and she hurried to close the gap between Namesh and herself.

  Satvi walked over and placed her hand gently on Namesh’s arm – noting how warm and smooth his skin was. “Namesh, I am so sorry. It hadn’t exactly dawned on me what would be expected of me as a wife. I suppose it’s because I have not been able to think past my fear of losing you. I would never want to wound your pride or your feelings in any way. I cannot ask that you accept this situation. Keeping you on as a lover merely because I would be devastated to lose you, is selfish and I apologize. I just don’t know how to live without you, Namesh.” Satvi could feel the desperation coursing through her veins. She would do anything to be with this man. She could not marry Almir. “I’ll do it. I’ll run away with you. Set your plans into action, Namesh. I will go with you—do anything you wish, escape to any place you think is safe. I won’t lose you. My heart cannot bear it.” Satvi began to weep.

  Namesh turned and reached out to cup her face in his hands. His eyes searched hers for a moment. He saw the despair he felt mirrored in them. He knew deep down that she had no choice. Like him, Satvi was a servant to her father and her kingdom, and she would be a servant to Prince Almir as well. He couldn’t help the rage building up inside him at the thought of Satvi with another man. Namesh knew running w
ould be risky. Very risky. If they were caught, Satvi could be sentenced to death. But most likely her father would want the political alliance to stand, so she would still be forced to marry and probably forced to watch Namesh’s execution as well. It would break her. Their souls were connected in such a way, that neither of them could seem to exist without the other.

  He leaned in and kissed her with an urgency that surprised even himself. He roughly pulled her body closer to his. He wanted her more than anything and he couldn’t imagine losing her. If following Satvi to her new palace home was the only way he could be near her, then that is what he would do.

  Namesh’s tongue slowly traced her bottom lip before he pulled away, making Satvi groan in frustration. He held her in his arms, smiling. He liked knowing that he could incite such feelings in her, and that if they were alone at this moment, Satvi would undoubtedly give herself to him - this beautiful, wonderful girl would give her body and soul to him - a lowly servant; a man most unworthy of her perfection. His smile began to fade, but he continued to hold Satvi close to him, relishing in every fleeting moment they had together.

  “No Satvi, we will not run. I will come with you,” he whispered.

  ***

  The next day, Satvi awoke with a renewed sense of hope after her encounter with Namesh in the menagerie. She would have no choice but to marry Prince Almir, but at least she would still have Namesh at her side as one of her chosen servants. It was the only way they could continue to see each other.

  Since her father’s arrangement for her betrothal, all the palace servants were busily preparing for the upcoming nuptials. Shah Balraj and his son were pushing for the wedding to take place in three weeks time. Satvi had barely returned from seeing Namesh when she was assaulted with the news of just how soon her life would be changing.

  Three weeks was barely enough time to put together a royal wedding, and Satvi protested as such. However, her father would hear nothing of it, as his argument was the sooner they wed, the sooner their familial alliances would increase the Empire’s power. In the end, Satvi knew she was nothing more than a pawn in their political chess match.