SEAL'd Heart

by Alice Ward

  “Was it because of your ex-boyfriend?” he prompted.

  “No... I mean, yes and no. I know I said something earlier that alluded to that being the reason, and I’ve been thinking it was the last few months, but I guess it’s really not. I could have gone out on my own. Or I could have called one of my friends who like this kind of stuff. I just... haven’t.”

  A few seconds passed. “Then what is the reason?” he finally asked.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted, feeling a bit breathless. “I just... I figured I needed a change. It’s only been six months since I finished in reserves. Then I moved because I thought it would be good for my mom and me. It would help prepare her in case I can’t be there one day. But I guess more changed than I planned on happened. And... I just haven’t been feeling much like myself lately. I haven’t been doing the things I like to do. I guess I don’t really know who I am.”

  It was true. I hadn’t given much thought to it, but somewhere in the last six months, I’d started dropping a lot of the things that used to make me happy. The move hadn’t just been for the sake of helping my mom gain independence, it was also for me. I wanted to find out who I was away from the army. I wanted to start fresh, see just who I would become when I offered myself a clean slate. Maybe somewhere along the way, I lost all the good parts of myself as well, the parts I never intended to let go of.

  I felt my nose wrinkle. All of the choices I had made hadn’t exactly been great. Like Derek, for one. Honestly, I had been wasting his time and my time, and now I wasn’t even sure why I’d ever gotten into that relationship. At the time, it was kind of like, why not?

  Cristiano spoke up. “In case you can’t be there one day?”

  “Huh?” I shook my head slightly, not sure what he was talking about.

  “Why did you talk about not being there for your mother one day?”

  There was an odd tone to his voice, like he was asking me just what the joke was.

  I let out a long breath. “Yeah, I know how weird that might have sounded. It’s not like I’m planning on dying before her or anything. But...” I trailed off.

  “You want your own life.”

  My lips pursed. “Yeah,” I admitted.

  “And the more independent she is, the happier she’ll be. And it’s the same with you. I’m guessing while you were in the army, it didn’t exactly feel like you were calling the shots.”

  “I don’t regret that,” I quickly said. “In fact, it was really great to give up some of that control, to have someone tell me what to do. To know that tomorrow I would get up at a certain time, eat at a certain time. I know that sounds crazy, but after taking care of my mom for so long, it almost felt like the routine of it all was taking care of me.”

  “And now?”

  “When I left six months ago, I was ready for something completely new. I didn’t want to be beholden to anyone... ugh. That sounds bad. That’s not what I meant. I love my mom.”

  “I’m sure you do. You don’t have to feel guilty about these feelings, Blaire. They’re completely normal.”

  His arm lifted in the darkness, and his fingertips gently grazed down my jaw. My whole torso constricted, making me feel giddy and terrified all at once. I focused on Cristiano’s dark face, his features becoming a little clearer the longer I kept my eyes still. Out of my peripheral, a few more meteors zoomed by.

  I swallowed hard, relishing the feel of Cristiano’s hand on my cheek. It was a strange and romantic gesture, and I couldn’t ever remember a man touching me in such a way. The touch lingered on, and I wanted to kiss him, but I also didn’t want the moment to end.

  Never again would there be a first time Cristiano Leventis would rest his fingers on my cheek underneath a meteor shower in the middle of a field. It was a uniquely constructed moment, and no other one in all of the history of humankind would duplicate it.

  If I even breathed, I don’t know. Not a real thought passed through my head. All that existed was his hand against my skin, the hot fires in the sky, and deep space stretching on and on, lifting the two of us up off that blanket and taking us away with it.

  Bolder than I’d ever been before, I lifted my own hand and cupped it against the outside of his, then trailed my fingers down the length of his arm. Cristiano shifted forward as my fingers brushed across his lips. He sat up straighter, his free hand coming to wrap around my waist. The new energy flowing through me pulsed, craving to be joined with the life force of the man in front of me.

  Me. Cristiano. The stars and meteors above. We were all one and the same, made of the same matter, swirling around and around, moving about in infinite space.

  Our mouths met, the collision a predetermined one. For how long we’d been on the course to join together, I didn’t know. But when it finally happened, it was like the universe around us took a collective sigh, letting out the breath it had been holding since the big bang.

  Me. Cristiano. We were finally together.

  I didn’t even know I’d been waiting for him, but I had.

  Was this crazy? How could it all even make sense?

  I couldn’t ask those questions. I couldn’t wonder if I was going crazy or feeling something real and legit. If I did, I would lose what I had in that moment. Pushing myself further forward, I got onto my knees to continue kissing him. My hands clutched his shoulders, gripping tight the fabric of his shirt.

  Cristiano’s smooth palms went around my waist to press into the small of my back.

  Strands of my hair fell down, veiling our locked faces. Cristiano kissed me harder, his tongue taking control. I opened my mouth further, allowing him the full command he apparently wanted. His tongue flicked against mine, and a shiver of pleasure went through me. My head fell to the side, and Cristiano grabbed it, holding it up and kissing me with even more fervor.

  It seemed I’d lost all control. I was putty in his hands and enjoying every second of it. Moving both hands to my sides, Cristiano rested me down on the blanket. Something clinked, a wine glass falling over perhaps, but neither one of us looked. He was too busy leaning over me, pressing his lips against mine.

  His hands threaded through my hair to lightly grip my head. Swirls of light spun in front of my eyes as we kissed, and I alternated opening them, the stars above blending in with the light behind my eyelids until I couldn’t tell one scene from the other.

  I slid my hands down from Cristiano’s shoulders and over his chest, the buttons of his shirt rubbing against my palms like tiny pebbles. Beneath my own shirt, my chest lifted and fell rapidly, my breathing growing more ragged and my nipples tight. Heat pooled between my legs. I knew I could stop anytime I wanted. I knew we could just kiss and call it a night, save the rest of the secrets our bodies held for another time. There would be more nights and days to explore each other’s bodies, to get a taste of the unique ecstasy we could offer each other.

  But I didn’t want to wait.

  I trailed my hands over the ends of his shirt, letting the fabric lift the slightest bit so my fingers could press against his bare skin. It was a sign that I was open to more, that I craved more.

  Cristiano bit down on my bottom lip, tugging it gently between his teeth. I moved my hands back up, undoing a button of his shirt as I went. With just enough room to slip my hand through the shirt’s opening, I pressed my palm against his abs.

  He growled into my mouth, then shifted his weight to put some of it down on me. The bulge in his pants pressed against my waist, making the heat in my core double.

  Cristiano’s hands found my waist then gripped at the belt loops of my jeans. I pushed up, nudging my pelvis against him. One hand slipped under my ass, holding me up while the other trailed through my hair, down my neck, across my chest, and down my side. A shiver followed his touch, a delicious quivering that made me ache for more.

  With his mouth against my neck, he kissed and sucked at the sensitive spot there. I grabbed at his hair, sighing in pleasure. Still, he held me up, pressed in between his
legs. His hard length rubbed against my leg, tight and eager, just like me.

  I grasped the side of his hips, moving my hands front and back. One palm brushed over his groin, absorbing the heat there. Cristiano nipped at my neck and laid me gently down, letting my hips come back to rest on the blanket. His kisses flowed lower, sweeping the base of my neck and the spot where my blouse opened up. Tenderly, his fingers worked the buttons, the release of each one slow and meaningful.

  The fresh air swept across my stomach. Cristiano’s palm followed, swirling up my abs and over my bra cups. My torso jerked, shocked by the electricity of his touch, and my nipples tightened even more. Eagerly, he pushed down the cup on one side of my bra and placed his mouth against the exposed flesh. His tongue swirled around the nipple there, and I let out an unbridled moan. His other hand wrapped around my other breast, tugging it and molding it with checked strength.

  Down and down his mouth went, licking a line down the center of my body. When he got to my hips, he nipped at the seam of my jeans right between my legs. I pushed my hips up into his face in response, and he smoothed his palms over my breasts and around, bringing them down to the button of my pants.

  My jeans became unbuttoned and unzipped, then tugged all the way down to my ankles. I kicked them the rest of the way off, forcing my shoes to go with them. Cristiano collapsed onto me again, his warm chest pressing into my bare one. My lips parted before his mouth even got to mine.

  Our tongues brushed each other, their dance becoming faster and faster. I ran my palm over Cristiano’s hard bulge again, finding it thick and ready. Struggling a bit at the awkward angle, I unzipped his pants and delved beneath the fabric to take hold of his warm cock. The feel of it finally in my hands sent a little thrill through me. It pulsed hot and thick between my palms, and I ran my hands up and down it as we kissed. Cristiano shifted more of his weight onto me, showing how eager he was. Giving him what he wanted, I danced my fingers up the length of his hard flesh to press them against the head.

  Two strong hands pressed against the sides of my hips, their fingers hooking into the sides of my panties. Fluidly, Cristiano tugged my underwear off, never once breaking our kiss. The fresh air nipped at the exposed flesh between my legs, a contrast to the heat there. Cristiano’s thumb pressed against my clit, eliciting a sigh of pleasure from me. It pressed harder, and a finger slipped into my pussy. His other hand came up to tug at my breasts again. The compounding pleasure shook me, making my back arch and my breath come out ragged.

  Cristiano’s hand pushed harder against me, his fingers finding the spot inside me that made my eyes roll back in my head. He added another finger, the heel of his palm grinding in my clit. I cried out, the sound captured by his mouth as I shuddered, an orgasm rippling through me. I kissed him fiercely, the taste of his lips bringing me almost as much pleasure as his fingers against my most sensitive parts.

  I was still shaking as he broke his kiss and moved backwards, pushing my knees to the side. His outline stood strong in the darkness, a monolithic presence in the middle of the field. It occurred to me that someone could see us, but I hardly cared. One orgasm hadn’t been enough. I was ravenous for Cristiano’s touch. Getting just a little bit of it made me crazy for more.

  Cristiano continued to move backwards, but I grabbed his shirt, stopping him. He froze, then said nothing as I unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and helped pull it off. He took his own pants off, discarding them on the blanket, and I undressed myself the rest of the way, unhooking my bra straps and sliding out of my already open blouse.

  The slightest breeze picked up, bringing its warm caress over the blanket and wrapping us up. We were both fully naked, exposed to the elements and exposed to each other.

  A guttural noise came from Cristiano, and the next thing I knew, his face was between my legs. His tongue swirled around my still sensitive clit. I yelped, my thighs instinctively jerking away. A second later, though, a sweet sensation peeked through the uncomfortable one. Pleasure filled my core again. I arched my back, pressing myself down harder into his face, and a long moan escaped my lips.

  My hand fell into the grass next to the blanket. The pleasure rocketed up. My fingers curled into the ground, dirt working its way under my fingernails, a tuft of grass cutting into my palm. An explosion of pleasure assaulted me, and I cried out, letting my shriek travel unchecked into the night.

  Two seconds later, and Cristiano was on top of me again, his jaw scraping against my throat as he sucked at the base of my neck. He fumbled with his pants, and soon, the sound of a condom wrapper being torn hissed into the night. When he sat back and rolled it down his length, it was one of the sexiest things I’d ever witnessed.

  Then he was back on top of me, and my shaking hands pushed between our stomachs, searching hungrily for his cock. I wrapped my fingers around it, tugging the slightest bit. It jerked and pulsed in response, growing even thicker, if that was at all possible. Gently, I guided it along my folds, spreading the wetness there before pressing the tip against my opening.

  Cristiano took charge, pushing into me with painstaking slowness.

  Sitting back on his knees, he hooked his arms under my thighs, spreading me wide as he drove into me. The smell of our sweat and sex already filled the air, mixing with the dirt of the ground and the crispness of spring. Cristiano kept his pace slow, pushing all the way in then pulling back out. I arched my back, silently begging for more, but he kept it steady, making the pleasure come and go in waves.

  Slowly the ecstasy built, receding before coming back again and growing even stronger. Cristiano’s breathing became more labored, a sign that he was getting close to release.

  His hands on my knees, he pushed my legs forward, folding them against me. The adjustment hit a new angle for me and goodness overflowed. I gasped as he thrust hard, rocking into me, changing the speed and force. Our bodies slapped together, the sound joining that of the nature around us.

  “So good,” he murmured, taking my nipple between his teeth as he thrust harder and faster. A hand moved to my shoulder, holding me still when each plunge threatened to scoot me up the blanket.

  I cried out, surrendering to yet another orgasm. Cristiano moaned and thrust harder, faster, before shuddering through his own release.

  A meteor, brighter than any of the previous ones, whipped over his right shoulder. A couple more followed. I held my breath, and neither one of us moved a muscle. The moment hung there, cheating time, becoming eternal.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I kicked my legs over the back of the couch, studying the new pedicure I’d gotten that afternoon. After Cristiano dropped me off at my apartment closer to sunrise than sunset, I’d collapsed into bed and slept until noon. Waking at that hour made me groggy beyond belief, but I was more than just that, and I couldn’t be bothered with paying attention to a petty thing like being tired. There were more important things going on.

  I was beside myself with glee.

  It was insane, really, how fast I was suddenly falling for Cristiano. And though I didn’t want to be a Debbie Downer, I was afraid the other shoe had to be dropping at some point. Could people really fall so hard and heavy without there being some sort of negative consequence?

  Or was the thing I’d just stumbled into different somehow? Was I just one of those few lucky people who found themselves in a romance that not only seemed perfect, but kept on being perfect?

  Did those even exist? Or was I thinking of books and movies, and not real life at all?

  I looked at the coral paint on my nails, wiggling my toes for effect. I’d been in love once. At least I’d thought it was love. It happened two years before, when I had the luck — or the stupidity — of getting involved with a recently divorced guy. Jared and I dated for a few months, during which time I fell hard. When he announced to me that he wasn’t ready for anything serious, I was crestfallen. I kept holding on, though, thinking things had to change someday.

  One day, I told myself. He’ll be ready.


  One day turned into half a year, and then he moved to Wisconsin because his ex-wife’s job was relocating her and Jared needed to follow to the new town for the sake of their two kids.

  No more divorced guys, I told myself after that. At least not unless they’ve been legally free for a few years or more and don’t have an ex-spouse who’s on the verge of moving the kids to a different state. That was my extremely specific ultimatum, put in place in a desperate attempt to protect myself from men who weren’t emotionally available. I couldn’t stop a guy I’d fallen for from moving away — so that made the second part of my promise to myself harder to stick to — but maybe I could be smarter and fall for men who didn’t feel screwed up by a marriage gone awry.

  But Cristiano had never been married. Cristiano had lived a life quite the opposite. I knew because on the drive home the night before we talked a bit about past relationships. The impression I’d gotten was that he’d never been in anything he would consider serious and committed, other than the girl he broke up with about a year ago. The way he talked about her, though, it seemed he didn’t have any regrets. They’d dated for a couple years, and it kind of sounded like it had been like mine and Derek’s situation. They were good together, but not perfect. Not soul mates.

  I twisted my lips and thought about the women in the pictures on the internet, the beautiful leggy girls draped all over his arms. And though I was becoming increasingly aware of how I felt about Cristiano, it was impossible to tell how he felt about me.

  I wasn’t model beautiful like those women. Oddly enough, that gave me some comfort, because perhaps that meant Cristiano wasn’t interested in me purely for aesthetic and lustful reasons.

  We had plans that night for dinner at his place, and I couldn’t wait to drive over there and check out his home. Was it a mega apartment overlooking the whole city? Or was it, rather ironically, a quaint apartment not much different from my own?

  My phone buzzed from its perch on the coffee table. I grabbed it without looking to see who called and hit answer.