The Lighthouse

by Melanie Wilber

  I was excited about Jodi too, and I still felt amazed she was here and doing this for herself. She didn’t know anyone here except me, Ben, Jonathan, and my parents, but that didn’t matter to her. She was here because her life had been radically transformed by God’s grace, and she wanted to celebrate that with friends and strangers alike.

  By the time my turn came, I was numb from the cold water, but my heart was warm with peace and joy. And when Jonathan took my hand and put his arm around my back, I felt something I hadn’t expected. I felt a very real presence of Joshua surrounding us, and I wondered if Jonathan felt it too.

  When I went under the water, it was an exhilarating feeling, especially as I came back up. I wiped the wetness away from my eyes, and I felt tingly all over. Mostly from the cold air hitting my wet skin and clothing, but I knew there was a spiritual force behind the sensation as well. I had never felt so free and uninhibited in my life. It was like an exclamation point on everything I had experienced over the last seven months, and I knew this wasn’t the end, just the beginning of so much more to come.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “I can’t believe my first year of college is over.”

  “I know,” Marissa replied. “Me either.”

  We’d both had our last final this afternoon, and I was already partially packed. All of my clothes were in my suitcases, and I’d had some time this morning to pack the rest of my personal items. My desk was the last thing to do, and I had been purposely putting it off because a lot of it could be thrown away, but sorting through clutter was one of my least favorite chores.

  The school stuff was pretty easy to toss now that my classes were over and I wouldn’t need any of the notes and special handouts anymore. My books went in a stack to sell back to the bookstore, and my supplies fit neatly into a box I had brought most of them in at the beginning of the year, although I’d added some along the way.

  It was the sentimental things I had the most trouble with. Little notes from Jonathan. Souvenirs from various things we had done together. Inspirational thoughts I’d written on note cards to post on my cork board where I could see them regularly. Cards Jonathan had given to me. Photographs. Letters from home. It had been a full year, and I ended up keeping most of it. I had no idea what I was going to do with the memorabilia once I got home, but I couldn’t part with it yet.

  Marissa didn’t seem to have trouble tossing most of her stuff and went to dump the trash several times while I was poring over each note and allowing my keep-pile to grow. Marissa had enjoyed her year, made a lot of friends, done well in her classes, and was ending on a positive note, but she hadn’t had any significant relationships with any particular guys until the last couple of weeks with Cole.

  He had asked her out the week following the camping trip, and their time together so far had been pleasant according to Marissa. Cole lived in Portland too, so they were planning to see each other after they were both home, but Marissa wasn’t speculating yet if this was going to be something serious. She liked him a lot, but he hadn’t said anything obvious to let her know he felt the same way.

  After we were finished, we went to the bookstore together to sell back our textbooks, and it wasn’t too crowded, but there was a bit of a line. By the time we returned to the room, Jonathan was waiting for us to help with taking our stuff out to the cars. I was excited about getting out of here and the days ahead. We were going to Jonathan’s house tonight and staying there for a few days before we would be moving to Bandon for the remainder of the summer. Jodi and I were staying at my house, and Jonathan was going to be living with Ben in a small apartment above a restaurant in downtown Bandon where they were going to be working.

  It was owned by one of my mom’s friends who always hired extra summer help, so my mom had told her she knew of two nice young men who would be perfect for her. As for Jodi and me, we were going to be doing something neither of us had done before: working for a catering company with a full summer schedule of weddings, parties, reunions, and other special occasions. Jodi had gotten the jobs for us after running into a regular customer she’d had when she worked at a coffee house in Bandon. Jodi had great customer-service skills, and when she had mentioned needing a summer job for herself and a friend, Leslie had hired her on the spot. Her mom had confirmed the jobs and housing for Jonathan and Ben that same week, and I knew it was all a Godsend.

  Jonathan helped us with carrying our things out to the car, but we needed to dust and vacuum the room before we could check out, and Cole came by before we were finished. Marissa had been wondering if he would make the effort to see her today or wait to contact her sometime after she returned to Portland. Marissa stepped into the hall to talk to him, closing the door behind her.

  I welcomed some moments alone with Jonathan. Going through all of that stuff had stirred up a lot of emotions and reminded me of what a special year it had been. I didn’t anticipate having much time, so I stepped into his arms and got straight to the point.

  “It’s been a perfect year, I almost don’t want to leave.”

  He held me close and said what I expected him to say. “This isn’t the end of anything for us, Jennifer. I can love you anywhere.”

  “That’s good, because I wouldn’t want to live here forever.”

  He laughed. “You’ll like the suite better next year, and beyond that,” he paused, taking a moment to give me a sweet kiss. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll be able to have our own place.”

  I liked the sound of that, but I didn’t comment for now. Jonathan kissed me before I could think of what to say, and I knew he wasn’t looking for us to start planning our future together yet. But it was a pleasant thought to know this wasn’t the end of anything except saying good-bye to a room that was just a room. It was the person I had shared it with that mattered, and I knew Marissa and I were going to be friends for a long time.

  When she didn’t return immediately, Jonathan asked me what I knew about her relationship with Cole. He had been out of the loop when it came to Marissa’s latest admirer. He’d been more busy than usual since the camping trip because he was on the student leadership team at church and they had been getting a bunch of stuff organized for the summer mission teams. He wasn’t going along, but he had been helping with a lot of the prep work involved, so between that, finishing up classes, and having time with me, his sister’s social life had fallen by the wayside after keeping pretty close tabs on it all year.

  I told him what I knew. He asked me if I thought it was a good thing.

  “Yes, I think it is.”

  He seemed satisfied with that. I knew Marissa’s opinion would matter the most in the coming weeks as she got to know Cole better, but my opinion mattered to Jonathan, and that was a nice feeling, but I didn’t fully understand why he listened to me like he did. He’d done that a lot concerning our summer plans, and I had to ask him one more time if he was okay with what we had decided.

  “I think it’s great, Jennifer. I’ve told you that.”

  “I know. I just want to make sure. It’s more scary making decisions when they affect more than just me.”

  “Maybe, but I have complete confidence in your ability to make them.”

  “You do? Why?”

  He smiled and sighed. “Ever since I met you, Jennifer, you’ve changed my view of the world. For twenty years I had my view of it, and then you come along and suddenly A plus B doesn’t always equal C. I can’t tell you how much your opinion and heart and dreams and view of the world mean to me. It’s become my reality as much as my own ever was.”

  I didn’t know what to say. How could someone who was as lost and timid and afraid to leave my little corner of the world be someone who would bring direction and newness and depth to someone as grounded and real as Jonathan?

  “I think you bring out the best in me,” I said.

  “You bring out the best in me too, Jennifer. I love you.”

  “I think we should love each other for a long time.”


  “Wise girl,” he replied.

  Marissa stepped into the room a minute later and caught us kissing. She was used to it and didn’t say anything except asking if we were done cleaning, which we weren’t.

  “We got a little distracted,” Jonathan said.

  She laughed. “I can see that. You were the one who wanted us out of here by six.”

  Jonathan stepped away from me and allowed us to get back to our tasks. “And what about you? What did Cole want?”

  Marissa answered peacefully. “We made some plans for tomorrow. He’s coming over to the house to meet Mom and Dad.”

  “Sounds serious,” Jonathan said.

  “You don’t object?”

  “No, should I?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Yeah, that’s what Jennifer said.”

  “Did she?”

  I glanced at Marissa from where I was wiping the window with some blue cleaner and paper towels. I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

  “She did,” Jonathan replied. “And I was just telling her I think she’s a smart woman.”

  Marissa laughed. “Yeah, I could see you two were doing so much talking while I was gone.”

  “You were out there for ten minutes!” Jonathan laughed.

  I expected Marissa to say they were just talking, but when she didn’t, I looked at her. She was dusting off her desk and shelves beside the window, and she had a little smile on her lips. I called her on it.

  “He kissed you?” I whispered.

  Her smile widened.

  Jonathan was on the other side of the room, trying to get some tape off the wall by Marissa’s bed, and I didn’t think he’d heard me. I decided not to blab on her, knowing how special a first kiss with the right person could be.

  I remembered mine and Jonathan’s well. He had taken my breath away, and there hadn’t been a moment since I hadn’t wanted him in my life. And I hoped that day would never come.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The first few weeks of the summer went well, and by mid-July I was feeling like I could live this way year-round, forget about my goals and dreams for the future, and be a summertime college student forever. The catering job was busy but fun, Jodi liked it also and was doing well in general, and my time with Jonathan was as perfect as ever.

  When we weren’t working, the four of us spent most of our time together. Ben and Jodi were taking a slow but steady pace in their relationship, and I knew Jodi was happy in it, but I began to sense that Ben was falling deeply in love with her in spite of trying his best to not rush things.

  During the third week of July, Ben received some difficult news. He had an older brother who was in the Army and had been in Afghanistan for five months. He’d been badly injured and was being kept alive in a field hospital, but they couldn’t tell the family at this point if he was going to make it. Two days later they got word he was stable enough to be flown back to the United States and were informed within twenty-four hours he had arrived at a military hospital in Washington, D.C.

  Ben knew he should go with his parents to see him, and they left that evening on a redeye flight that would land early in the morning on the East Coast. Ben invited Jodi to go, but we had two weddings to help with on Saturday, and she didn’t feel like she could leave because one of the other girls had quit last week, so we were already shorthanded.

  Ben understood, and none of us tried to get Jodi to go with him. I thought about suggesting that Tess could fill in for her while she was gone, knowing Tess had Saturdays off from her summer job at an insurance agency. I could easily train Tess, but I wasn’t sure if Jodi was using work as an excuse because she’d rather not go, so I remained silent and let her make the decision she felt she needed to make.

  But by the following afternoon when we were helping Leslie in her kitchen with some of the prep work for Saturday’s wedding receptions, Jodi was feeling bad about not going. Ben had called to give a report on his brother’s condition, and it wasn’t good. It appeared he was going to survive, but they’d had to amputate one of his legs and he had some serious burns on his body, including some on his face that would likely leave him disfigured. We had learned that this morning, but when he called again just to talk, Jodi took the call and stepped out of the kitchen.

  “How is he?” I asked when she returned.

  Jodi looked pale, and for a moment I feared the worst, but her expression was more about Ben than his brother.

  “The same. I wish I was there,” she said. “I should have gone.”

  She started crying, and I held her.

  “Why didn’t you?” I asked.

  “I didn’t think it was my place. But now I feel awful. I think I hurt him by not going.”

  “So go now. We can drive you to the airport. Leslie will understand.”

  She nodded but appeared lost about how to make the necessary arrangements. I called Jonathan and asked him to check on flights and said we would be back at the house once we finished here. There wasn’t a lot more to do.

  We had to drive Jodi to Portland to catch a late flight, but I knew she was making the right decision, and she knew it too, although she felt unsure about what she could say or do to help Ben through this difficult time.

  “Just be there,” I said, having a memory of Uncle Stewart being at the house constantly after my dad went missing. I had been used to having him around a lot when my dad was alive, so I didn’t think much of it at the time, but looking back I knew he had chosen to be there and the difference it had made for all of us.

  “Why did God let this happen?” Jodi said. “Ben asked me that on the phone today, and I didn’t know what to say. I should be the one asking him that.”

  I could answer that out of my own experience. I had asked that same question about my dad for so long, but after many years of confusion and pain I had come to terms with a peaceful truth.

  “I don’t know, but I know there’s a reason. It’s hard to see now, even impossible, but the light will come. Just remind him of that.”

  I remained strong until after she entered the security checkpoint area. Walking back the way we had come, I made it to the car before I lost control of my emotions, and Jonathan was there to hold me and be what I needed. I had never been in this position before, but I knew one of the reasons for losing my dad had surfaced just now. Going through a huge loss myself had given me a strength I didn’t know I possessed until today, but it was a fragile strength.

  “I’m glad you talked her into going,” Jonathan said. “I knew Ben needed her to, but I didn’t want to say anything.”

  “She knew it too. I just let her know she can be what he needs.”

  We spent the night at his parents’ house, but we needed to drive back in the morning for work. I would have liked to have some time with Jonathan’s family, but in a way I was glad we had to go back, and we had a full day to keep us busy. Jonathan worked until eight and then came to meet me at the reception site as we finished up there. Tess had been able to fill in for Jodi, and we were out of there by nine-thirty. I hadn’t heard from Jodi all day but felt it was too late to call and hoped she would call me if she was still up and needed that.

  Jonathan drove me home and decided to spend the night there rather than going back to the apartment, so we stayed up late watching a movie and having some rare alone-time. I was sad for the circumstances that had taken Ben and Jodi away, but I had forgotten what it was like to have so much time with Jonathan where we could relax together and talk like we had done so much of at school.

  It was also a reminder to me of how much I had needed Jonathan’s friendship during those first few months of being away from home and looking for meaning and purpose in my life. And I still needed him. On normal days for the companionship and love and laughter and a sense of belonging. And on difficult days for the support, encouragement, and peace his presence and love provided.

  Neither of us had to work on Sunday until the afternoon, so we went to church in the mor
ning, and my mom and dad went with us. We’d found a small church to attend here that didn’t have a lot of flashy programs or anything beyond the basics of Sunday morning worship and teaching, but it met our needs during our time here for the summer, and it gave us an opportunity to help others in need.

  The church ran a meal program for anyone in the community who needed it. They served breakfast and dinner in the church’s small cafeteria every day of the week. One of the church members was the full-time cook but had volunteers to help him with serving it, and Jonathan and I had done that several times whenever our work-schedules allowed. Jodi and Ben had helped also, and so had my mom and dad. As soon as they’d heard about it they had wanted to participate, and it had confirmed in my heart what Jonathan had said about my mother and Uncle Stewart having God’s love in their hearts even if they didn’t attend church regularly or had been taught about Him in a formal way.

  We went out to lunch with them after church, and Jodi called me while we were waiting for our food to be served. She had a somewhat good report to share. Ben’s brother was doing better and had been transferred from ICU to the burn unit so he could get treatment for his more superficial wounds, and he was responding well to the antibiotics. He had been more alert today, and they were all more optimistic about his condition.

  Jodi sounded better also. More at peace and glad she had decided to go. She wasn’t sure how long they were going to stay, but I knew Jodi would remain as long as Ben wanted to. I shared the good news with everyone and had an overall sense of God’s protective and healing hand being on Ben’s brother. I was thinking more about that than Jodi, but my mom said something I knew to be very true.

  “Jodi has changed a lot since she’s been with Ben, hasn’t she?”

  “Yes,” I replied.

  “At first I thought it was her being away from home and living in a more stable environment, but it’s him.”