Finding Izzy

by Nanette Fox

  Julia was pleased both Izzy and Tim had made the effort to speak in Antonio’s native tongue. He had seemed a little tense when she had suggested they pop by the family home before going to her apartment. She hadn’t expected both her brothers and one of her best friends there to greet him. It was a lovely coincidence. Julia had dressed carefully to greet Antonio at the airport as they had been apart for two months relying on Skype and endless phone calls to keep in touch with each other. She was worried that they wouldn’t feel the same about each other. His blue eyes had melted at the sight of her in her slim fitting blue dress. Her almost black hair tossed carefully around her shoulders. Her blue dress was perfectly complimented by her careful makeup to emphasise her pretty features. She only had to look at him to remind herself of how much in love she was with him.

  They happily sat with the family for an hour or so. Izzy, Tim, Julia and even Ruth breaking into Italian sporadically which made Antonio feel at home and very much welcomed. David spoke to Antonio in English and felt a little left out of the conversation. David hadn’t kept up his Italian language skills and wished now that he had. Later, as Julia and Antonio said their goodbyes and made plans for more catch-ups later in the week, Ruth stood with Izzy and Tim standing arm in arm waving goodbye. David slouched in the background feeling quite out of place, and out of sorts.

  Tim, realizing Izzy’s ankle was very painful to stand on, swept her up into his arms and carried her inside. She was giggling and protesting it wasn’t necessary to make such a fuss. Ruth was looking at the couple and smiling saying, “Izzy let him make a fuss of you.” Ruth looked across at her eldest and recognized the look of thunder. He was angry and getting more agitated by the minute. Ruth and Izzy relaxed on the lounge with coffee, Tim a beer. David sat at the table stewing. Ruth and Izzy were talking about how happy Julia looked. Discussing that Antonio seemed on edge at first but relaxed and looked very much in love with Julia, they agreed that he had opened up a little when he discovered they nearly all spoke Italian.

  David suddenly spluttered, “Tim how come you speak Italian so well and are such good friends with Antonio?” Tim looked at him and said, “Dave if you remember Vicky and I backpacked around Italy for about four months one University break. Also, I made a point of talking with Dad and Gramps in Italian to keep up my skills. And as regards Antonio, he and I have spent quite a lot of time together when he was here before, including I am afraid to admit, a couple of boozy nights out.” He winked at Izzy, “He and I have secrets.”

  She joked back at him, “Ooh do tell me.”

  He looked cheekily at her, “My lips are sealed.” Tim seemed relaxed and was holding Izzy’s hand in his lap. He was smiling and joking around. Ruth breathed a sigh of relief although she had noticed he’d had a bit to drink.

  David got up and grumbled that it was late, and it was time he headed home. He looked at Izzy directly and said, “Shouldn’t you be going home, it’s getting late and everyone has to work in the morning?”

  Tim said evenly, “I am sure Izzy can make up her own mind about that.”

  David pushed the dining chair in with a thud and stormed out, “Thanks for dinner Mum.” Tim released Izzy’s hand and bolted after his brother.

  Reaching him at his car, he grabbed his shirtfront and looked at him angrily, “Dave mate stop it. Just accept Izzy is with me and lose the agro.”

  “You know how I feel about her. I thought we talked all this out in Bali,” said Tim.

  “Talking about it was theory little bro, I am not so sure I want to see you together.”

  “Yeah well try huh; she’s your close friend but my girlfriend, my partner.”

  “Sorry, when did that happen?”

  “Last night.”

  “Bloody hell Tim, that’s a low blow.”

  “Dave, I have told you several times I am in love with her it shouldn’t be a surprise.” Dave turned and got in his BMW, putting it into gear quickly, he backed up the drive at speed and roared off. Tim stood in the drive looking after him and bringing his hands to his eyes rubbed them with the heels of his hands, ran his hand thru his hair, bent and picked up some gravel from the drive throwing it at his mother’s rose garden.

  He walked back inside looking brooding and looked sadly at his mother and Izzy. “Mum Ruth I think I’d better go now too,” said Izzy. She was looking at Tim, who looked somewhat tortured; he was just standing sort of slumped with his hands in his pockets. She touched his chest and he pushed her hand away. She stood on tip-toes and kissed him briefly. “Goodnight Tim.” Ruth was panicked, a bit alarmed at what could have taken place out in the drive. She could tell the brothers had a fight, and she guessed rightly it was about Izzy. “Tim please talk to me, what is it?” pleaded Izzy.

  “Just go Izzy darling,” looking like he was about to sob.

  Ruth stepped in and putting an arm around Izzy said brightly, “I’ll see you to your car, you need to get home and rest that ankle.” Ruth was concerned for Izzy and Tim equally. She knew if she could get Izzy into her car and away, she could come back in to see if there was anything that would help Tim. Ruth was soothing to Izzy, “Don’t worry it’s between the boys, Tim loves you be assured of that.” Ruth noticed Izzy looked doubtful, but she couldn’t do anymore to put her mind at ease. Ruth waved goodbye to Izzy and came back inside to find Tim crouched down sobbing. All she could do was crouch beside him and rub his back soothingly.

  He finally stood up and rubbing his face said, “I am just incredibly tired, I am going to bed.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes full of love, “Night son.”

  Chapter 28

  Holding onto Life

  Ruth spent a few hours alone cleaning up after what turned out to be a largish family gathering. She kept stopping and sitting to think. She was extremely worried about Tim as he was beside himself again. She was panicked about David; she’d heard the BMW roar up the drive. She was nervous for Julia, as she and Antonio looked in love, but she detected hesitation. Ruth had a feeling she’d hear more about Izzy’s ankle as it was really troubling her.

  She thought of Izzy fondly. She went back to thoughts of earlier when she had realized that Izzy was such a contradiction. She was beautiful. She had a lovely gentle personality, yet when it came to ‘her gallery’ she was fiercely determined, successful and knowledgeable. She had experienced such loss; her parents, her husband. Then there were the dreadful, horrible memories of her husband’s actions that had made her so very wary of people. She was such a ‘young girl’. Ruth reflected that maybe all the families had been so anxious to protect her from her personal losses, they really hadn’t done her any favours. When it came down to it, she could barely take care of herself.

  The phone rang, she was immediately alarmed. “Hello, Mum Ruth, it is Izzy.”

  “This is urgent, you need to go up to Tim’s room and check he is okay.”

  “I am at the hospital Emergency with Rebecca about my ankle, and while I was with the doctors, a message came through on my phone. Rebecca’s just brought it to me. The message says ’Izzy I am so sorry, but I have to say Goodbye. Nothing is working for me. I can’t make a choice between you and my brother. Everything is getting on top of me, I can’t cope.’ Mum Ruth, check that he is okay. Please?”

  “Oh, darling girl, you don’t even have to ask.”

  Ruth hung up and ran up the stairs, bursting into Tim’s room she found him lying in the dark, still and quiet, his phone in his hand, a bottle of sleeping pills opened and on the beside. She flicked on the lights and he looked up at her. All she could say was, “How many?”

  “None Mum, not yet.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Why did you come up here?”

  “Izzy rang me. She is awake and at the hospital with Rebecca getting her ankle looked at so she saw the message almost immediately.” Tim sat up, resting himself against the headboard. He just looked at his mother, but almost as if he was looking through her. “Tim I am calling an a
mbulance.”

  “Waste of time Mum.”

  “Why Tim, you need some professional help?”

  “I just got some by Skype, I rang Paul, he is a psychologist with the Army.”

  “Do you mean Rebecca’s Paul?”

  “Yeah, I just booked a flight to Perth for the morning. I am not sure when I am coming back.” He coughed and then took a big swig of the water bottle he had beside him. “Mum, the only thing I am disappointed with is that I will have to let Russell and Margaret down.”

  “Who the hell are they?” she was desperately trying to keep it together.

  “My favourite clients, they are building a dream home, I was doing some special fit-outs for them. Russell reminds me of Dad.”

  Ruth put her hands on her hips and frustrated with him screamed about worrying about clients when he had just terrified his mother and not only scared his girlfriend but dumped her really by phone message that just by sheer luck and circumstance she’d seen almost immediately. She went on the say firmly, "Tim I have never told you what to do, how to do it, or even presumed to know what you are thinking and feeling, your father was here for that, for you. He is not anymore, and we are all sad about it. Tim, not just you! I am sure Paul can help you, go by all means for the week or so but come back to us. Tim answer me, talk to me. Maybe when you come back, go and stay with your grandparents for a while. Then you can help, who was it, Russell and Margaret. He was silent.

  More firmly still, she said to her youngest son, "Tim you don’t have to make a choice between David and Isabella. You love Izzy desperately and she loves you, she is just very afraid to admit it and thank heavens she hasn’t because you are a mess at the moment. David is very protective of her, he is not in love with her, but he was once so he is not going to take your relationship with her lightly. The doorbell rang. His mother turned in the direction of the front door. Whipping back around before she almost ran to the door, she told him I can guess who that is, and I think you have a lot of explaining to do. And you know what Tim she has had to fight to live, so she is not going to go lightly with you wanting to give up life so easily.

  Sure enough, at the door were Isabella and Rebecca. The look on Isabella’s face was priceless. She was a bit of a fright really her hair was messy, she had little denim shorts on and her favourite t-shirt with a denim coloured bulky cardigan, a moon boot on one foot and a pink fluffy slipper on the other. She was smoothing her hair down as Ruth answered the door. “So, I am guessing you didn’t have to call the ambulance.”

  “Paul spoke to Bec as we were driving here from the hospital.”

  “You know I am so angry, what is this rubbish?” she held out her phone.

  “He is in his room right.” Without any preamble, she went stomping off up the stairs.

  “Tim Martinelli what are you doing?” she said as she stomped into his room. “There is absolutely no goodbye’s going to be said.”

  “I can’t believe you think you have to choose between David and myself. Girlfriend versus brother it doesn’t match up. David might care a little about us getting together but that is just his pride being hurt, that he didn’t win the girl.” She was very angry and agitated and the moon boot gave her more ‘stomping’ power. Tim wouldn’t meet her eyes which made her even more cross and irritated.

  Stomping backwards and forwards, she fumed at him, “Do you have any idea of how precious life is?”

  “No, you don’t do you.”

  “You have never had to do weeks of rehabilitation.”

  “You have never had to struggle to talk because your jaw is wired.”

  “You have no idea what it’s like to be pushed down again and again, to have to find the will to fight every day.”

  “You know I am airy fairy about many things now because it is lovely not to have to care. I don’t have to fight anymore. I came so close to death, so, so close, it is nice to have the luxury to worry about not coping, even just a little.”

  “This mate, is just rubbish,” as she held out her phone again, stopped stomping backwards and forwards and stopped to look at Tim.

  He had picked up the water bottle and was gulping from it. She stomped over to the bedside and picking up the sleeping tablets, put the cap back on. “You are an idiot.”

  “Go to Perth, get you head together and come back. I would like you to come back.” He grabbed her hand, she pulled away. “No, not interested, when you realize how precious life is, I will talk to you then. You know what, Tim, both your dear departed dad and your lovely living grandfather would agree with me. Paul would probably say this is the wrong way to treat you, but I don’t care, I need you to know that I will fight for you. Go to Perth, talk to Paul, do what you have to do, hopefully I’ll see you in a few weeks.” Tim was biting his lip and looking down he just simply didn’t know what to say in return. She stood looking at him for a little longer. Tim watched her leave but wanted her to stay. He didn’t trust himself to say the right thing. She was downstairs. “Good night Ruth, I’ll ring you in the morning,” and after waking a dozing Rebecca, her driver, Izzy stomped out the open front door.

  Ruth who had also dozed off in her chair, had murmured, “Good night.” She made her way upstairs and to bed via Tim’s room. She stuck her head around the door frame. Tim hadn’t really moved from where she last saw him. He wasn’t looking any happier, but he did looker calmer. He called her over and gave her the now closed bottle of pills. “I won’t need these.” He looked up at her, “Mum am I going to lose Izzy? Is she going to give up on me?”

  “No Tim, I don’t believe so. Most of all you have got to know David’s not going to give up on you either. You don’t have to make any choices.” Ruth went on to say that he shouldn’t be so hard on himself, he couldn’t be perfect to everyone.

  “Mum have you got one of those quote things for me?”

  “No son, not tonight.”

  “Good night and I’ll take you to the airport in the morning, well actually in a few hours.”

  “Tim, you are my handsome, very clever, younger son and I want you around okay.”

  “Okay Mum.”

  Chapter 29

  Talking Brings Good Changes

  Izzy looked rather cute as she arrived for work the next morning. Her feet taken care of with a moon boot on one foot and a delicate little silver sandal on the other; the pretty pearly pink nail polish on her toenails matched her manicure. She was wearing a flirty pale pink chiffon dress that finished just above her knees. It was a hot day, so she had swept her hair into a pony tail and was wearing dangling silver earrings, silver bracelets and a silver necklace that had a collection of little novelties hanging from it including a silver heart. The necklace, the birthday gift she had received from Tim. The heart accompanied with a ‘T’, a flower, an anchor and a horseshoe.

  David called by as the drama of the previous night had been passed between the family members. As he walked into Izzy’s office, she was just getting up from the table where she had a number of photos spread about. He thought how pretty and fragile she looked. They greeted each other, but there was a studied coolness on her part. She asked him to sit as she wanted to have a frank and open chat. She discouraged his usual arm around the shoulders. He sat on the couch next to her sitting back his arms out-stretched along the back, she perched next to him as she had always done but was quite contained with her hands in her lap. “Dave,” she started, “I guess you know your brother has gone to Perth and why he has gone.”

  “Mum said.”

  “David, we have to be quite clear with each other about our relationship going forward.”

  “Izzy this sounds awfully business-like.”

  “I don’t mean for it to be, but we have to understand each other. I want to be with Tim.” David was looking everywhere but into her eyes.

  “David, I want us to be the close friends we have always been but it can’t be in anyway romantic or ‘lovey-dovey’, and they are good memories but we have to put into the past
anything about our relationship that was sexual.”

  “Izzy I am not sure I want to.”

  “David, just to be clear I want to be with Tim end of story.”

  “Izzy, I don’t really understand why you want to be with Tim.”

  “It is simple David ‘I love him’ and I believe with all my heart that he loves me very much.”

  “But Izzy he is a kid and it would appear one that’s a bit disturbed in the head after last night.”

  “Now see that is the sort of comment you make that loses me. He is not a ‘kid’, he is a very sexy grown man and he is very driven and intense and mourning your father more than any of the rest of you.”

  “Dave I am not perfect; I come with a lot of baggage as a result of my marriage to Isaac and Tim has the sensitivity to understand, unfortunately you don’t.”

  “I am not coming out of this with a very glowing rep am I Izzy?”

  “Nope, you’re not.”

  David looked at her, “So no more quick flings between my quick flings then.”

  “Well hopefully David you have finally found in Veronica someone you want to be with for a while, maybe?”

  “Yeah I just might have,” and he finally looked her in the eyes and said, “Ronnie’s pretty special.”

  “Listen Izzy, I have to go, are you going to be okay while you wait for Tim to come back?”

  “Yes, Mr Dave I am.” He smiled down at her as he got up, she smiled back. “Hey Izzy, grab your phone, I want to take a photo that you can message to Tim as you look really pretty today, moon boot and all.”

  “Hmm six to eight weeks of moon boot apparently.”

  The next person she needed to talk to was Julia. Talking to her would be relatively easy though. Julia wasn’t going to come in until later as she wanted to spend some time with Antonio. Izzy was nervous for her. Their relationship conducted over the distance was showing cracks. Izzy also knew Julia was very nervous about leaving her mum and going to Italy to live. David had gone, and Izzy breathed a sigh of relief. She was careful with sending the photo as it wouldn’t be helpful if there was any hint David had taken it. The photo had been sent with a caption about making a fashion statement with a moon boot. She wouldn’t get a response for a while as he would still be in the air. Rebecca stuck her head around the door and said, "Hey moon boot queen, do you want some tea or coffee, Monique is making some.