Waiting For Yes

by Claire Ashgrove

  She’d almost forgotten the brief glimpse of a tattoo she’d caught in the diner, and her gaze lingered on his left bicep. Inked in black, a Celtic band wound three-quarters of the way around. But unlike the typical depictions of tribal art she’d seen over the years, Jake’s tattoo sported a ghoulish face in the center of the pattern. Not a skull, not a grim reaper. Nothing she’d ever seen before. The masterful artwork gave the depiction an air of darkness.

  Curious, she leaned in and traced it with a fingernail. “This is interesting. What is it?”

  His eyes opened, tracking sideways to where she touched him. Dark eyebrows pulled in a faint frown before he closed his eyes once more. “Death.”

  Grateful he couldn’t see the surprised look that widened her eyes, she bent in to get a better look. What would possess someone to ink something so…morbid? She caught the details, noting the Celtic design obscured dark lettering—STEP. The rest of the letters ran behind his bicep. To read them, she’d have to move his arm. A name? Why hide it? Was the art a means of disguising something done previously that he’d come to regret? “What’s it say?”

  A smile lifted the corners of his mouth as his hand delved beneath the water for the washcloth. He lifted it to her breast and squeezed. Rivulets of warm water rolled over her skin, down her belly. The cool air that followed tightened her nipples.

  “It says you’re too close to resist.”

  She watched, transfixed, as he dropped the cloth and lifted her taut breast in his palm. He thumbed her nipple, manipulating the hard bud with a masterful touch. She gasped against the sudden shock of pleasure.

  The sound brought his gaze up to hers. His bright blue eyes flickered with unmistakable arousal. He kept his eyes locked with hers as he brought his other hand out of the water to mirror the touch. The warmth of his palm seeped into her veins. His smile faded as she sucked in a sharp breath, and his gaze darkened in intensity.

  “Gabrielle,” he murmured. “You drive me crazy.”

  The water sloshed, spilling over the edge as he scooted forward and pulled her into his lap. Using one hand, he guided her feet around his waist. His erection bobbed against her belly, evidence of his fierce desire. He slid his hands to her buttocks, pulling her in closer as he shifted his hips to rub against her.

  He dropped his mouth to her shoulder and licked away a bead of water. “There’s something about you.” His breath washed hot against her skin as he trailed the tip of his tongue over the high swell of her breasts.

  Bliss blanketed her. The slip of his hands beneath the water, combined with the slide of his velvety tongue, intensified the growing ache between her legs. She squirmed in his lap, craving how it felt to be one with him.

  Guiding her with his hands, he rolled her hips into his. Her breath rushed out heavily as a shudder rolled down her spine. She set her hands on his shoulders and closed her eyes.

  Jake ground her into him again and fastened his lips over a turgid nipple. His fingers dug into her buttocks, the only outward sign he gave that he tried to temper himself. The pressure against her inflamed center sent a zing of ecstasy all the way down to her toes. Unable to stop herself, she arched forward, hungry for more.

  He let out a groan. In one swift motion, he lifted her up and impaled her.

  The pleasant friction as he slid in deep left her gasping for air. Her nails bit into his shoulders, and Jake’s body tightened under her. He lifted his head, dropped his hands, then went absolutely still.

  Confused, she glanced at his expression. But, he’d closed his eyes, giving her no hint as to why he’d suddenly stopped. His chest expanded as he pulled in a deep breath, his exhale ragged. His voice vibrated unsteadily as he murmured, “You feel so damn good.”

  He brought a shaking hand to her cheek. The tremble of his fingertips sent a thrill bubbling through her veins. She tilted her face into his palm with a soft smile. There was something strangely powerful about his reaction. Witnessing Jake’s uncontrolled reflex made making love to him somehow more intimate.

  She twisted her hips, delighting in the way his breath caught.

  Yet, he grabbed her at the waist, holding her still, and gave her a fierce shake of his head.

  Perplexed, she drew back. “Is something the matter?”

  A grin tugged at his full mouth as he shook his head again. “I can’t do this in the tub, sugar. I want you too much.” He slid his hands up her back, then fastened them at her hips once more. Lifting her up, he pulled himself out of her, and set her down in the water. But he didn’t keep distance between them. He leaned in to capture her mouth and drew her into a slow, sensual kiss.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered against her lips.

  She’d never been more inclined to cut short a bath in her life. Fairly leaping out of the water, she grabbed for a towel. But Jake grabbed her instead. He swung her up into his arms and tossed her knees over his elbow. His mouth descended on hers, his kiss hard and demanding.

  “Last room at the end of the hall,” she managed between his hungry advances.

  It was the last he let her say before he carried her down the hall and deposited her onto her bed. His body covered hers, his heavy weight comfortable. She parted her legs, giving him room, and he settled between them. He lifted to his elbows and tucked hair away from her face.

  He gazed at her for one extended heartbeat before he kissed her long and deep.

  ****

  Need pounded at Jake’s senses. Every fiber of his being screamed for release, begged him to end the torment of prolonging Gabrielle’s pleasure and indulge in his own.

  He cursed his lack of control for the hundredth time since she’d orgasmed in his arms. The play he’d started had only meant to entice. But she’d peaked too soon for his barely tempered arousal, and her climax pushed him to his limits. He’d almost joined her right there.

  His body was so in tune with hers, it frightened him. For Christ’s sake, he was shaking. In a strange, surreal way, it was as if she spoke a language he couldn’t hear, yet inherently understood. Far deeper than just her body’s response. Something he’d anticipated, without ever being aware she issued the command.

  Like now, though she merely trailed a toe up the length of his calf as he explored the sweetness of her mouth, he sensed she needed him inside her as much as he needed to be there.

  Angling his hips, he pushed forward and slipped into her warm, moist flesh. Her sex gripped and squeezed, drawing him in deep. Each clench pulled part of his guarded heart closer to the surface, the astonishing pleasure taking him to a place he’d only visited in fantasy. Ecstasy burst through his chest and swelled his cock even more.

  He tried to breathe, but could only manage a few short gasps. Not good. He was so close. Right on the edge. Just as he’d been last night, and he kicked himself mentally. He should have known better than to suggest the bath. Should have realized sitting there in that water, washing her, would frazzle his nerves.

  Too late. Damage done, he couldn’t order his body to behave.

  He pulled back and dug his hands into the covers at her shoulders in a desperate attempt to cling to restraint. Her body followed his, her back arching as her hips thrust forward. For the love of God, he whimpered. The sound got lost in her throat, blending with her low moan.

  She wound her legs around the small of his back, and one hand found his, her fingers twining tightly. Through countless lovers, he’d never held hands with a woman during sex. The tender gesture shredded what remained of his senses. Lost, Jake surged in hard. She rose to meet his anxious thrusts, not an ounce of her timid or shy. He glided in and out of her, wave after wave of pleasure crashing into each other.

  He tore his mouth from hers and sank his head to her shoulder. Ecstasy slammed into him, shattering through layers of brick and mortar he’d carefully erected around his heart. Exposed and vulnerable, he poured himself into her, his hoarse cry muffled against her skin.

  She followed in a heartbeat, her body convulsin
g against his. Her fingers clenched into his as the soft walls of her feminine depths milked him until he had nothing left to give.

  Numb, Jake collapsed against her, his breathing matching the fervor of hers. She sank into the covers, her legs falling back to the bed. Her free hand pulled through his hair, slid down his back, and then lazily drifted up his spine. He wanted to speak, wanted to do something more than lay there, but words wouldn’t form through the cloud in his mind. His limbs felt heavy and leaden, the effort to move too great.

  “Am I too heavy?” he croaked through a dry throat.

  “No,” she whispered.

  He lay there in her arms, content to soak in everything that was Gabrielle, to bathe in the softness of her body and absorb the staggering effect she had on him. He’d let her in. He hadn’t meant to. Would have laughed in the face of anyone who dared to prophesize he might. And yet, against his will, it had happened.

  How, he wasn’t quite sure. The enveloping warmth that spread through his body as he accepted the reality made how insignificant. He wouldn’t dream of associating the feeling with love. That was for fools. Only the young and naive believed good sex meant love. Yet, something had changed, and he’d be equally foolish to deny it hadn’t.

  He shoved the thoughts aside. He’d deal with that issue when it didn’t feel quite as good as it did right now. Embracing the sudden way everything inside him felt alive, he gathered Gabrielle close and rolled onto his back. She snuggled her head against his chest, her hand over his drumming heart. Soft fingers played with the fine hairs there, her gentle touch provoking his soft smile.

  “Jake?” she asked quietly.

  He draped his arms over her tiny waist and gave her a tight squeeze. “What, sugar?”

  “What happens when the roads are clear?”

  Blinking, he swallowed hard. So much for enjoying the heady bliss that came with satiation. Though her voice came light, her words free of hesitation, the implication was clear. She wanted him to offer some sort of…commitment. Permanent and Gabrielle were two words he hadn’t yet put into the same sentence. In fact, he’d done everything he could to avoid considering the two as part and parcel. While he was beginning to realize she might not be the spoiled little rich girl he’d assumed she was, the horses were the deal breaker.

  But a man did not tell a woman he had to spend the next however many days with, that he had no intention of giving her permanency. Particularly when they were buried under twenty or more inches of snow. There were far too many things she could do to him—like throw him out immediately.

  Besides, the way he felt presently, he couldn’t decipher whether he wanted to cut off possibilities just yet. This was too new, too strange…too spellbinding to spoil it all with a half-considered answer.

  He turned his face into her hair, tightening his hold on her waist. “We’ll figure that out.”

  She lifted up, rested her forearms on top of his chest, and gave him a puzzled frown. “Does that mean there’s…something…to figure out? Because if you’re going to drive off and never speak to me again, I’d like to know that now.”

  With a light chuckle, he shook his head. “There are lots of things to figure out.” Things like, if he wanted to figure out anything at all.

  She dropped back down, her long hair tumbling over his shoulder. With a drawn-out sigh, she nuzzled her cheek against his chest and captured his hand again. “I don’t do very well with sharing.”

  “Sharing?” he asked, his jumbled thoughts thwarting his ability to understand the insinuation.

  “With other women.”

  What the hell…? Slow dawning settled about him. Sharing. As in she didn’t want him seeing other women. Maybe she meant just sleeping with other women. Either way, it all circled back to the same thing. Gabrielle wanted him to stick around. And he couldn’t guarantee he would. He could be desperately in love with her, but as long as he had to face her horses every day, he’d never be able to make that promise.

  He slid his fingers through her hair. “I’m monogamous, sugar. Stop worrying.”

  “So this is enough for you? Me here, you on the road?” Her lips danced across his chest, lingering over his nipple with a tantalizing pinch. She wiggled against him, teasing his thoughts back to visions of making love to her. As if on command, his cock rose to half-mast.

  He’d have promised her marriage at that moment if she’d asked. Between the thrum of awakening arousal and the overwhelming contentedness already bubbling in his blood, thinking clearly became impossible. “Mmm. It’s perfect.”

  Letting out a little yawn, she snuggled down into his embrace. One leg slipped between his. One hand still clutching his, she relaxed.

  Jake stared at the ceiling as her body twitched with the telltale signs of sleep. He’d lied to her. Deliberately let her believe he had intentions of committing. Why? He’d never felt the urge to pretend before. Why in hell had he done it tonight?

  He told himself it didn’t matter. What he’d said held no real promise. He hadn’t obligated himself to anything, and he hadn’t made her any guarantees. She’d asked if this was enough for him. Laying here on her bed, holding her, listening to the sound of her breathing was enough. He didn’t want anything less…or anything more. This, whatever it was, satisfied his needs.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Bright sunlight poured in through Gabrielle’s window, slowly arousing Jake to morning. He’d slept fitfully, his conscious jarring him awake every so often with the horrifying realization he’d led Gabrielle on. Each time, he convinced himself he had not and dozed off, only to reawaken not long after.

  At some point, he’d had the presence of mind to navigate them both beneath the covers, and she’d fallen asleep in the crook of his arm, her head atop his shoulder. He found her there still, in the exact same position. Stealing a glance at her face, he took in the delicate angles, the softness in her mouth, the light spattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. In sleep, she was every bit as compelling as she was awake. Only, slumber added a touch of innocence he never expected to glimpse.

  With a heavy sigh, he gave up on the idea of sleep and stared at the ceiling. He hadn’t really lied to her. He’d just omitted a few truths. The fact she took his meaning for something else—well, that was her responsibility. He couldn’t control how she thought. Besides, until he could define in his own mind what he wanted from her, he didn’t dare attempt further explanation. Whatever he said would only come out wrong. And the last thing he wanted her to believe was that she had been a quick, meaningless fuck.

  Not by any means. If the sex had been solely for his own personal gratification, he wouldn’t have suggested the bath. Hell, for that matter, he’d have had better control too. Gratification didn’t equal feeling, and, by God, he’d felt her all right. Felt a lot of scary things he didn’t want to consider.

  A sudden foreboding crawled through him as he realized not once had a condom come into play. His eyes widened as he stiffened. How the hell had he gotten carried away enough to let that happen? Not that he believed for a minute she posed a risk to his health. Nor would he jeopardize hers. But the other stuff, the unmentionable possibilities…

  He stopped the thought before it grew roots. One look at her lifestyle screamed responsibility. She wouldn’t take unnecessary risks. Not with the goals she had and her dedication to horses. Competitive horsewomen knew, far more than many others, just what kind of limitations came with pregnancy.

  He puffed out a heavy breath and lifted his free arm above his head. Gabrielle wanted commitment. Two nights together, and she wanted something solid. Could he blame her? What woman wouldn’t want the security of knowing the man she slept with didn’t intend to vanish at the drop of a hat?

  Frankly, that wasn’t his style. Certainly, he’d had a fair share of one-night encounters. In his younger years, he’d made a point of not getting involved. But he’d chosen partners with the same interests. As he matured, however, the thrill of meaningless sat
isfaction lost its appeal. Far more appealing was the ideal of true intimacy. His more recent partners stayed around a while—until he realized that elusive utopian fantasy wouldn’t work. He’d cut off more than one short, long-term relationship for minor things, justifying his refusal to let anyone past his guard with any number of good excuses.

  Until last night when Gabrielle crawled beneath his skin somehow and snuck in where he didn’t want her. Down deep where sex became more than just a physical act, and he’d bonded with her somehow. An unsettling feeling that left him restless. Forbade him the simple enjoyment of lounging in her company and waiting for her to wake. He could no more stay still than he could confront the overwhelming question of what he intended to do with her now that he’d allowed her to believe he intended to stay around for a while. If he tried, he’d think himself into a panic.

  Easing away from the warmth of her body, he slid from the bed and pulled on his clothes. Quiet footsteps took him to the bathroom where he took his finger and a glob of her toothpaste to his teeth. He splashed water on his face, making a quick mental note to ask her if he could borrow her razor later. If he didn’t shave soon, he’d get itchy.

  Some semblance of his normal morning routine completed, he wandered into the kitchen. Using his mug from the previous night, he warmed leftover coffee before dumping the pot and starting another. As he drank, he stared out the window, his gaze searching the paddock for the psychotic Mamoon. Maybe he’d get lucky and that damn horse would have had a heart attack in the middle of the night.

  He caught a glimpse of two horses standing nose to nose, and his brows tightened together. Those muzzles were entirely too close to be over a fence. Almost as if…

  Leaning to his left, he searched for a better angle. His eyes went wide, and he choked on a mouthful of coffee as the glimpse confirmed his suspicion. Mamoon and Rajiv stood side-by-side in the same paddock. In Rajiv’s paddock.