Swimming in Sparkles

by Debra Anastasia

  “Where are we going?” Teddi caught up to me.

  She looked like what hope felt like. Sparkling. Ringed in rainbows and silver. She was so well-loved. So cherished. And lucky. Lucky in a way she could never understand. When she tucked herself into a bed with clean sheets and a door to lock when she wanted to be alone? Could she ever know what it was like to try to clean up for the week in a library bathroom?

  “We’re going to where a lot of my friends stay. Making sure they are okay and getting info for Grandma/Mom and Lucas.” My voice was raspy from fighting off the emotion that seemed to sucker punch me most days lately.

  “Do you have any ideas? Like after Ropert’s? You said a hotel? What organization runs that?” She asked pointed questions, like she had a background in what I was dealing with here.

  “It’s a loose group of people who know each other.” I couldn’t explain how I had access to my mom’s friends from all the years she was on the streets. That I had more “uncles’’ and “aunts’’ than I could probably identify. And then I was overwhelmed again. To get to the Burathons, I had to cut all kinds of ties and responsibilities. I told myself that the endgame was worth the short-term struggle. They had clothes for the winter. If I moved fast enough—but with care—I could get maybe a million dollars from a heist. This was the dilemma.

  Teddi started talking and it took me a few seconds to realize she wasn’t talking to me. “Hey, yes, this is Theodosia Burathon and I was wondering if Mrs. Keller had a moment to speak with me?”

  I shot her a look. She smiled and hooked her arm in mine. She was clearly clamping on so I could do the walking and she could do the talking.

  “Hi, Mrs. Keller! Thanks for taking my call. I was inquiring about a family in need down here in Midiville. We have a special needs twenty-year-old adult male and his grandmother in need of some programs. They’re currently dealing with his age dilemma. Even though he’s twenty, he benefits from a close relationship with his caretaker. They have no clear place to stay right now. Do you have any openings? And yes, I know this is short notice, but the situation revealed itself to me in a very sudden manner.”

  I escorted her across the crosswalk. She sounded like a forty-year-old seasoned social worker. I got us out of the way of oncoming traffic.

  She glanced at me and bit her lip, lifting one eyebrow.

  “Yes. We do know where they’ll be tonight. Yes. That sounds lovely. Let me check with my friend.” She moved the phone to her chest. “Hey, have you ever heard of Seasons down here?”

  “Uh, yeah.” It was the best situation a person could get into. The apartment building was subsidized by a billionaire and the city. They focused on sheltering and offering people jobs. It was impossible to get a spot. The waiting list was years long.

  “Is it cool? Would you trust them for Grandma/Mom and Lucas?” she asked like this was an everyday suggestion.

  “Um, pretty sure I’d shank someone to get them in there.”

  “We’re very interested. Thank you. Yes, I’ll make sure they give you a call. You’re the best!” She ended the call and smiled at me. “Can you get a message to Grandma/Mom?”

  I blinked a few times. With just a few minutes, she’d changed all of my plans. Maybe it was a sign that getting sucked back into helping the community on a small scale was not as important as getting the biggest haul of their lives. “If I can borrow your phone?”

  I was able to leave a message with Ropert’s and I was assured they would get the information to Grandma/Mom and Lucas. Seasons was the stuff of legends. It had programs for Lucas. I mean, barring any lotto winnings, it was literally the best-case scenario.

  I handed her phone back to her. Minutes. Changing their lives took minutes for her. “Who are you?”

  “Will they need any help moving in? We can come back tomorrow and help out.” She tucked her phone into her pocket.

  I looked at my feet for a few seconds, then helped her understand. “Sweetheart, they can carry what they have. All by themselves. By design.”

  I watched the understanding reach her. “Yeah. Okay.”

  It was an answer. Now a decision. Get the hell out of Dodge. It’d be the safest. The Cokes would come after me, and definitely be interested in Teddi. “Let’s head back. If you’re done?”

  She looked at me funny. “We were here on your errands, not mine.”

  “I wasn’t sure if you had to swoop in and save some more people.” I winked at her.

  “Yeah, I’m good for now.” She turned on her heel and we walked back to the parking lot. I was really happy for Grandma/Mom and Lucas, but I found an irrational anger bubbling up in me. How easy it was to fix the problem when you were a princess from upstate. “So how’d you know that person?”

  “Oh, Mrs. Keller? She’s a friend of my mom’s and they did some stuff together.” She stepped over a large metal grate in the sidewalk.

  I didn’t offer up any more commentary. I needed to take this sign and let it point me in the right direction. Feeling anger wasn’t helpful. And it was slightly irrational considering the positive outcome.

  After we got back to the car, I stayed awake long enough to make sure Teddi was able to get out of the city before I rested my head back and closed my eyes. I still had more stuff to do but using her as my ride was not going to be a good idea. She paid way too close attention to stuff.

  Chapter 15

  TEDDI

  WE WERE LATE getting back. Far later than I had planned for the day. Ruffian was doing a great job of sleeping. So great I had to shake him gently when we were finally parked in the driveway.

  We weren’t alone. Austin had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot. My dad was behind him, slowly shaking his head.

  I’d peeked at my phone once or twice, but the road that took me home from Midiville had no red lights. I picked up my phone. Yup. Lots of notifications. People were wondering where I was. Friends, family. Shit.

  Ruffian stretched his arms above his head as much as he could in the car. “Oh. Are we late?”

  “Yeah.”

  I responded to Austin’s text while glancing up at his face.

  Sorry. Running late. Will be home soon.

  I watched Austin as he checked his phone. He had a little smile when we locked eyes again. He wasn’t too mad if I could still make him smile. Clearly, I got away with more because I was the youngest in the family. And the only girl.

  Dad wasn’t waiting anymore and pulled my door open. “So nice of you to join us? Having fun running all around Midiville?”

  The tracking app, which I knew was running in the background. It was how my parents slept at night, or so they told me.

  “That’s my fault, Mr. Burathon. Teddi was just helping me connect with a few friends.”

  I gathered my stuff and got out, my father looming over me.

  God knows what my parents really thought I was doing down there, but watching my dad narrow his eyes at Ruffian’s face, I knew the few bruises he had there would need to be part of our explanation.

  Gaze and Pixie came out of the house, which meant we were going to have almost the whole crew witnessing me slink into the house in trouble.

  I passed the keys to Austin. He wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me in to kiss my forehead. “Teddi Bear. Baby, you need to not do that kind of thing. Your phone is part of your damn hand. How come you didn’t text back?”

  “It’s a long story.” I hugged him around the middle. He was sometimes the buffer between Mom and Dad on the rare times I got in trouble, but sometimes he was the one that acted more like my dad.

  I cued into the conversation that Dad and Gaze were having with Ruffian. I caught the tail end.

  “So, Gaze has agreed to step up and be your guardian on the paperwork, but Ronna and I can be your power of attorney and your guardians while Gaze is away at school, if you want. I mean, if you have other places to be, we won’t stand in your way.”

  Ruffian rubbed his temple with his index fing
er and thumb from his right hand. “Totally apologize for seemingly taking off with Teddi. In my defense, I told her to go home a few times and that I would get a ride back.”

  Oh, so it was like that? Tossing me under the bus.

  Gaze showed his teeth as he sucked on them. “This family is really big about making sure everyone is accounted for.”

  Dad put his hand on Gaze’s shoulder with a reassuring pat. Ruffian didn’t miss the closeness. I wondered if anyone else saw the splinter of hurt in his eyes before it switched to a smile that he forced.

  “Let’s get inside. Ronna has some snacks in case anyone is hungry.”

  Austin held out his hand for a shake from Ruffian. “Welcome to the place. It’s a lot.”

  Ruffian good-heartedly returned the shake. “I see that.”

  Gaze, Pixie, and Dad said goodbye to Austin, who was headed back now that I was done commandeering his car.

  Austin turned to me. “You’re grounded.”

  “You know I’m sorry. I’ll totally make it up to you.” I stepped back toward Ruffian, who had used the pause in conversation to grab his bag.

  “I know.” Austin winked at me and then got into his car. On his way rolling out, he lowered the window for a parting shot. “And now I have to stop for gas? Geez, girl.”

  I knew my face bellied how sheepish I felt for the oversight.

  “So, how much trouble are we in?” Ruffian was just over my right shoulder. I spun around and tipped my head back.

  “It’s not you that’ll be in trouble. It’s me. And don’t worry, they’re giving me hell, but they could tell where I was. Plus, I updated my Instagram twice while we were down there. It should be good. Let’s go in and eat the snacks, though.”

  I was actually ravenous. It wasn’t until the prospect of some food that my stomach growled audibly.

  “You okay?” He pointed to the buttons on the coat. Freaking embarrassing. “Yeah.” I headed for the front door because I didn’t want any more noises to make themselves known.

  I walked into the door and saw it differently. The thought that Lucas had been struggling to find a place to be while Grandma/Mom was in the hospital broke my heart. After I flipped off my shoes, I caught Ruffian in my peripheral vision. He’d inadvertently shown me some of his world today. He seemed much more comfortable taking blows from gang members than he did putting his sneakers neatly on the shoe rack by the door.

  His life had been different than mine. Our trip to the city taught me that. As I sank into the dining room chair, I watched Ruffian in stolen glances. Every once in a while he would catch me looking and I would look at my plate or my hands.

  Gaze and Pixie sat close together and I watched as my parents caught each other’s eye from time to time. There was an edge to the evening. I knew I would hear about it some more from them both. They were really cool about me making my own decisions but were sticklers for communication.

  Pixie waved at me and caught my attention. I got up from my chair and cleared some plates. She did the same. We met in the kitchen where we slowly put the dishes into the sink.

  She started, “How’d it go with Ruffian?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Fine. Good even. We were able to help a friend of his and I think we made a difference by being there.”

  Pixie bit her bottom lip before leaning closer. “But?”

  “But he really had a different place down there in the city. Was it weird that there were people everywhere, but he seemed to know everyone?”

  She shook her head. “No. It all depends on where you hang out when you live down there. You make a group of neighbors and you all help each other out. I miss it sometimes.”

  “That’s understandable. Did you know anything about Ruffian before he showed up at your place?” I dried the cheese knife after Pixie had washed it.

  “No. Not at all. He was a total surprise. Gaze spoke to Bruce about it all and he didn’t deny it. Gaze was hurt. He really wanted to have a brother all those years.” She shut off the water and looked in the direction of the kitchen doorway.

  “That’s good.” Ruffian was carrying his plates in as well.

  I tried to rewind the conversation in my head. We had only said good things, but I still felt bad talking about him behind his back.

  “It’s true.” Pixie recovered quickly to the surprise. “I’m super happy that you found Gaze. It’s going to be fun watching you guys get to know each other.”

  There it was again. The fake smile. I saw that his eyes didn’t smile with his mouth. Like he was thinking about one thing and doing another entirely. In a flash it was gone. He was completely present and amenable.

  “Looking forward to it. Hey. So what are you and Gaze doing tomorrow? Can I catch a lift? I have a few things I have to settle up before I can apply to school around here.” He leaned against the counter and swished his hair away from his forehead.

  “I’ll have to see what Gaze has planned. He may have basketball practice.” Pixie folded her arms like she was Gaze’s calendar’s professional schedule sorter.

  “That’s cool. Just let me know. I don’t want to take Miss Princess Pants out with me again. She’d likely get in trouble and order an Uber to Rome.”

  “That doesn’t even make sense. I had your back today.” I gave him the middle finger. He licked his lips in response and I knew I was blushing.

  Pixie watched the whole interaction. “Keep it PG-13 in here. Don’t make me turn the hose on you.”

  That made me blush a little more. Ruffian’s cheeks twitched like he was fighting a smile. I didn’t have time to live with a complicated guy I had a slight, possible crush on.

  Ruffian switched the conversation. “That’s how these parents deal with Teddi coming home late? Snacks?”

  Pixie laughed. “Yeah, the Burathons take a little getting used to. It’s like they are all best friends. It’s cool, because they keep getting more people in stock. Gaze, then me, and now you.”

  Ruffian folded his arms on his chest. “My mom would’ve loved that. She was super into treating me like an equal.”

  And the sadness. His shoulders slumped and his eyes got a far-off look. Pixie and I shared a pained glance as she sat in the kitchen chair.

  “Hey, I think moms have a club up there.” She pointed toward the ceiling, but I knew she meant the heavens beyond. “Gaze’s mom and my mom for sure have some sort of ladies’ night, sending us good wishes and all that. I’m sure your mom is there, too.”

  Pixie stood while she spoke and ended her sentence with her hand on Ruffian’s elbow.

  Ruffian’s voice was a little thick. “That’s nice.” He took a deep breath. “How are you doing with the loss of your mom?”

  Pixie nodded. “I miss her every day. I’d really hoped when things were finally good for us she’d be here to see it.”

  The look that passed between them almost had an audible click. They recognized a similar hurt in each other. Next up in the kitchen doorframe was Gaze. He hulked over us all.

  “You guys start a party without me?” Pixie cuddled next to him. They fit into each other in such a way that you knew they spent hours upon hours close to each other. He played with her hair like it was on his head.

  Dad walked by in the hallway. “No parties. Everyone is in trouble.” And then he continued up the stairs to his bedroom. We laughed and I watched as Ruffian registered his words and then looked to see if Dad was really concerned.

  I shook my head at Ruffian so he knew it was totally a joke. We all walked up behind him and went into my room as Dad closed the main bedroom door.

  I watched as Pixie went to her toes and whispered into Gaze’s ear. Gaze looked at her face and his eyebrows furrowed.

  “Oh, sure.” He faced Ruffian. “We can take you for a ride. What time?”

  It was already close to one-thirty in the morning.

  “You tell me. I don’t have an appointment or anything.” Ruffian shifted his weight from one foot to the other. It felt int
imate to have him in my room while I was on my bed, which didn’t make any sense, because Gaze and Pixie were here. But still it was my room and he was right there. I watched as he looked around, seeing my old cheer trophies and pictures of friends on the walls. My desk was piled high with books and my calendar with the colorful gel pens. I couldn’t help but wonder what he thought about all of it. Was I just a typical girl to him? I mean, I was a typical girl, but still. I was wondering a lot about what he was wondering about and that was signature crush behavior.

  “How’s eleven work for you?” Gaze picked a time.

  “I’ll be ready to roll. Thanks so much.” Ruffian smiled. I couldn’t place it. Like his smile and good attitude were a lid on a whole personality we weren’t seeing right here. But one I had glimpsed when we were running around the city. He was so focused and determined when we were dealing with Lucas. It was a puzzle. He was a puzzle. And now he lived with us.

  “We’ll meet you tomorrow then.” Gaze slid his arm down Pixie’s and took her hand. They left my room and Ruffian shuffled to the side to give them more space to get by.

  And then it was just Ruffian and me before Mom poked her head in. “Hey, Ruffian, you need anything? Did you have enough sheets and blankets and stuff?”

  “It was all great last night. Thank you so much, Mrs. Burathon. Sorry again for keeping Teddi out.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

  “Goodnight, sweetheart.” She tilted her head toward him, accepting his apology and welcoming him at the same time. I was proud of her. She was doing a great job. I also knew I would tell her everything, most likely. She and I could talk like that. Running the Me Party weekends gave us lots of chances to talk.

  Finally, Ruffian and I were alone and I was itchy to get out of my room. When he looked into my eyes, I felt that zing again. Like he knew that I knew he knew there was a drawer of my panties in this room somewhere. It was a real specific look.

  “It’s a little early, but can I treat you to a two a.m. Fudgsicle?” He held his hands open, thumbs still in his pockets.