Ashes to Ashes (Barbie the Vampire Hunter Book 3)

by Lucinda Dark

  I sighed, letting air escape from my whole body as my shoulders sagged. “For any number of reasons,” I answered. “You’re not fully in control yet and she’s still new to you. Vampires are…possessive and attention-seeking by nature. They want acknowledgment. You haven’t acknowledged her.”

  “But why would she come here?” Barbie pressed.

  “I don’t know,” I replied. “Perhaps because I’m your mate.” Barbie’s head jerked my way and a hiss slid from between her teeth. I couldn’t help the twitch of my lips at that sound—as if she were denying it. “It makes sense,” I continued. “If you are my vampire’s mate then I’m your vampire’s mate. Our vampires will be drawn to one another.”

  “Great, just fucking great,” she muttered. “Another thing in my long list of things I don’t fucking need to deal with right now.”

  “It’s not something you need to deal with per se,” I replied even though I knew she hadn’t specifically been talking to me. “It’s just something that is. It’s no different than your gender. You are female. Your vampire is my mate. You’re attracted to me and so is she.”

  “Even if I don’t want to be?” she shot back.

  I looked at her, arching one brow. “Do you truly have to ask?”

  She didn’t respond for several moments, instead choosing to turn away with another one of her irritated huffs. A small chuckle escaped. I shook my head, standing up and striding towards my dresser. I reached inside, searching around for a pair of pants. If she was going to stay, I really needed to get dressed.

  “Did we…” Barbie’s voice was quiet when she spoke again, hesitant. I paused, my hand brushing against denim fabric in the drawer. “Did we…do anything while I was…you know?”

  I pulled the jeans out and set them on top of the dresser before turning around. “Do you really think I’d let you do anything you’d regret later?” I asked, looking back at her. Barbie’s head lifted and she met my gaze for only a moment before she tore it away and glanced to the side. I sighed again. “I want you, Barbie.” The words spilled from my lips. “You know that. I want you more than anything in this world. I would kill to be inside you right now, but I won’t do that to you. You hate me for taking away your consent—something I can’t be sorry for—but this is different. I wouldn’t hurt you like that. No matter what you think of me.”

  Pivoting away, I pulled the jeans off the dresser and stepped into first one leg and then the other before yanking them up to my hips. I zipped the front, but paused again, leaving the button undone when I finally heard her rise from the bed and pad across the floor—her feet nearly silent in their movements.

  “I did something today, Torin,” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. I turned back to her. Her head was down, her eyes on the floor, but she was close. Without thinking, I lifted my arms and I reached out, touching her shoulder, sliding my fingers over her hair. I fully expected her to pull away, but when she didn’t I stepped closer. “I-I felt the urge,” she stuttered. “To drink someone’s blood. Beth’s and Olivia’s.”

  My hands fell to my sides in shock. “Did you—”

  She shook her head, moved forward, and pressed her forehead against my chest; her breath drifted over my skin, making me shiver. Hesitantly, I returned my fingers to her scalp. “I didn’t.” She said the words with such conviction, such finality that I had no choice but to believe her. “I didn’t hurt them, but I—I wanted to.”

  I closed my eyes as I bent my head and pressed my lips to the softness of her hair. “No, you didn’t,” I assured her. “You didn’t want to hurt them at all. That’s not you.”

  Her fingers found the loops of my jeans and wove into them, tightening down as if she needed something to hold onto and I was her anchor. She had no clue how much I wanted to be that for her—her comfort, her safe haven. “I drank all of the blood you gave me,” she whispered.

  My breath drifted through the baby strands at the edge of her hairline. “I can give you more,” I replied.

  “That’s not the point,” she said, shaking her head. “I should’ve been able to control it, and I—”

  “Did you bite them?” I asked. “Did you flash your fangs at them? Do they know what you are?”

  She pulled away, glaring up at me. “No, of course I didn’t. They don’t know.”

  “Then I’d say you controlled it enough,” I said. “You didn’t do what you wanted, you did what you needed to do. You got away from them and you drank what was available to you.”

  “I gorged,” she protested. “I knew I was full after the first vial, but I kept going. I drank it all. Downed it like it was chocolate and I was a fat kid trying to fill some void.”

  I released her as her fingers slipped from my belt loops and she backed up. “What do you want me to do, Barbie?” I asked, scrubbing a hand through my hair, letting the darker strands flop over the side of my face. “Do you want me to punish you? Scold you? Tell you how bad you were? What is it you’re seeking here? If you want me to tell you how irresponsible you were leaving my custody before you were fully trained, then all you have to do is look inward. I can see how guilty you feel. I’m not going to add to that. You didn’t reveal what you are and you didn’t bite anyone. Honestly, I was worried, but I know you—I know your strength. It doesn’t surprise me at all that for being as newly turned as you are that you still have self-control over yourself.”

  “But my vampire—”

  I swiped a hand down in an arch, cutting her off. “That’s another matter entirely,” I argued. “It’s not that you don’t have control over your vampire—you control your urges—but she’s different. Your vampire is like…” I paused, thinking of ways to explain it. There had to be an easy analogy I could use. I gritted my teeth and went for it. “In psychology class last semester, you remember when you learned about the ego and the id?” I asked.

  She nodded, her frown deepening as her brows drew down low over her eyes in confusion.

  “Your ego is your logic, your super-ego is your moral compass, and your id is simply your desires. Your vampire is basically your new id. She is everything you want and desire. When you’re hungry, she is hungrier. When you are aroused, she’s more so. All of the desires within you are simply heightened and placed in one being.”

  “I see.” Barbie’s eyes descended lower as she thought and then she blinked, seeming to realize that she was staring at my chest. I smirked as she jerked her gaze up again. “Then how do I control her?” she asked.

  “You already are.”

  “Obviously fucking not if she’s coming to you in the middle of the night for…actually why did she come to you? Did she say?”

  I closed my eyes and blew out a breath, knowing her reaction before I even spoke. “What do you think she was coming for?” I shook my head. “I’m her mate, she wanted sex.”

  “What?!” As I predicted, she backed up even farther, shaking her head back and forth. “No, no, no. Things are complicated enough without…that.”

  I chuckled. Leaving my jeans unbuttoned and hanging low on my hips, I moved towards her, backing her against the bed until she stopped with her knees against the mattress. “Don’t forget, Sweetheart,” I whispered, leaning down into her space, letting my scent drift into her nostrils. “You have more than just a vampire inside of you. You’ve got a sex demon too, and if you don’t feed her, your vampire will. I’ll be here for you if that happens.”

  Her lips pinched into a scowl and she jerked her head to the side, cutting through me with a dark look. “You said you wouldn’t—”

  “Consent,” I said, kissing her cheek. “And I won’t. I promise, when we come back together, it will be consensual. Now, why don’t you run along home before I convince you that feeding your demon is exactly what you want to do.”

  Just as I’d hoped, she shoved against my chest, the extra strength in her limbs actually serving to push me back as she snatched her keys off the mattress and stormed around me. “Over your dead body!�
�� she shouted back as the door to my bedroom slammed behind her. My head hung low as laughter reverberated in my chest. My dick, on the other hand, wasn’t laughing. Not one bit.

  Thirteen

  Barbie

  The next day, Torin was waiting outside the McKnight mansion as Maverick and I left for school. I gaped across the lawn at him as he rested back against his motorcycle, sunglasses in place and leather jacket making him look twice as big as usual.

  “Are you fucking serious?” I gritted out as I approached him.

  He shrugged and held up a small bag. “Just making a delivery,” he said. I snatched the bag from him. I didn’t need to check it. I already knew what was inside—more blood.

  “Great, thanks, goodbye.”

  He caught my arm as I moved to stalk to Maverick’s truck. “Ride with me today,” he said.

  “I’d rather not.”

  “I don’t care what you’d rather do. I want you to ride with me. You promised you wouldn’t try running from me.” Torin slid his sunglasses up, the metal band pushing his hair back as he did.

  “I’m not running, but if you’re so insistent then what was all that shit about consent last night?” I quirked a brow at him.

  His expression hardened, his lips turning down. “It’s not the same thing and you know it. Just humor me, Barbie.”

  We stood like that for several moments—so long that I was shocked that Maverick didn’t pipe up and say anything, but he’d been quiet. I peeked over my shoulder, but he merely rested against his big black truck where it was parked next to my little bug. His arms were crossed and his eyes were closed as if he were tired. Even during breakfast and getting ready, he’d been quiet. I debated going with Torin, but something about Maverick’s stance drew me to him, made me feel like he needed me close or something—even though he hadn’t said a word.

  “No,” I finally said, pulling my arm from Torin’s grip. “Not right now.”

  Torin flicked a glance at Maverick and back to me. “Alright,” he said. “But at some point, you and I will have to come together, Barbie.”

  “You know what, Torin?” I pulled the bag back even farther, smiling sweetly up at him before I let it go, slamming it into his crotch with extra force. “You inspire my inner serial killer.”

  “More like your inner psycho,” he grunted as he doubled over.

  I smirked. “I don’t have an inner psycho,” I said. “I wear that bitch on my sleeve.” Turning away, I headed for Maverick’s truck. Mav opened his eyes as I approached and yanked open the passenger side door. He glanced to Torin, his brows lifting ever so slightly before looking at me curiously. I didn’t say anything, just got into the truck and closed the door with a resounding click.

  “I was thinking pink—like that dress from homecoming—the color really goes well with your complexion and especially with your hair; you’d look like a little doll.” For some reason, I kept picturing my fist crashing into Olivia’s face. That wasn’t right. Olivia was good. I liked Olivia. Most days, anyway. But she kept talking—chattering on—her lips moving at lightning speed and it made my head hurt.

  She continued on as we packed up our stuff when the lunch bell rang and moved into the hall. A familiar head of hair caught my eye and I went up on my toes. “Maverick?” He paused, several feet in front of us and half turned my way. “Hey, I’m going to go talk to Mav,” I said, interrupting Olivia’s diatribe. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

  “Wha—wait! Barbie!” she called after me. “What about our city date?”

  I waved her off, making a beeline for my objective. As soon as I caught up with him, I grabbed onto Maverick’s arm and steered him out of the way of oncoming foot traffic. It amazed me that no one had cursed him out for stopping in the middle of the hall like that, but then again—I glanced over my shoulder as people gave us a wide berth—maybe it wasn’t all that surprising.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. “You’ve been quiet since you got back from school yesterday and I—”

  “I’m fine,” he said, looking away.

  I frowned. “Then why won’t you look at me?”

  “What?” He tilted his head down and parted his lips.

  “You heard me,” I said, narrowing my gaze on him. I reached up, touching his cheek. He felt hot to the touch. His body temperature was higher than usual. “Mav, you’re burning up.”

  He caught my hand and pulled it away from his face. “I said I was fine,” he repeated.

  “And I call bullshit,” I snapped. “What the hell is going on with you? Are you hiding something?”

  At that, he stiffened. “It’s none of your business,” he gritted out.

  I blinked, my eyebrows shooting up so high I was sure they were nearing my hairline. “Excuse the fuck out of me, but what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I growled. “It’s none of my fucking business?” I shoved him back against the wall in the side corridor and pointed my finger at his chest. “Don’t forget that I can kick your ass across this fucking hall without breaking a sweat, Maverick McKnight.”

  Maverick’s hands found my shoulders and without warning, he turned, spinning me so that I was the one pressed against the white brick wall. He hovered over me, blocking out the fluorescent lighting above us with his shadow as he bent low. But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he simply sucked in several breaths as if he were trying to contain himself. My anger dispersed, and worry moved in.

  “Mav?” I reached up, smoothing a hand down his arm. His whole body shuddered at my touch. He groaned, tipping his head down even further and to the side until his forehead touched my shoulder. “Seriously, Mav, you’re not acting right. Are you sick or something?”

  Maverick didn’t get a chance to answer me, though, as a firm, commanding voice filtered down the hallway. “Maverick McKnight!” I looked up, catching sight of a man clad in a St. Marion Academy t-shirt and matching jogger pants—a coach, I determined. “My office, McKnight. Now.” I scowled, parting my lips to let whoever he was know that Maverick was in no condition to talk right now when Mav lifted his head and ambled away, following the sound of the man’s voice without another backward glance my way.

  I followed the two of them back to the main hall and watched as they were swallowed by the masses of people milling about. A firm hand grabbed my arm and I jerked, looking up.

  “What happened?” Torin asked.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. Maverick…” I didn’t know how to explain what had just happened. I wasn’t quite sure about it myself. “He isn’t acting right,” I finished lamely. “And his coach came and got him, he seemed pissed about something.”

  Torin’s lips turned down. “You haven’t heard anything?” he asked.

  “About what?” I tilted my head back so that I could see his face fully as he stared off down the hall.

  Instead of answering, he shook his head and released my arm. “Nothing. I’ll take care of it. Go have lunch with Olivia, I’ll catch up with you later.”

  “Wait, what?” I reached out, intending to grab ahold of his shirt, but he disappeared too quickly into the crowd, leaving me grinding my teeth in frustration.

  Left with little recourse, I headed into the lunchroom and found Olivia with Ben at one of the tables. “Hey!” Standing up on her toes, she waved me over before plopping down next to her boyfriend and flashing him a flirtatious look.

  I dropped my bag on the opposite side of their table and took a seat. “Hi, Barbie, good to see you back,” Ben said with a smile.

  “Hey,” I grumbled, laying my head on my bag.

  “What happened?” Olivia piped up, leaning over the table and her lunch tray. “Did Maverick tell you about yesterday?”

  “Yesterday?” I lifted my head. “What happened yesterday?”

  Olivia exchanged a look with Ben and he sighed. “I’m gonna go grab a drink. Do you want anything?” he asked, getting up from his seat.

  “No, I’m good. Olivia, what happened yesterday?” I repeat
ed.

  Ben grimaced but headed off towards the line of people still waiting for food and drinks. Olivia crossed her arms over the edge of the lunch table and pursed her lips. “Apparently, he beat the shit out of one of the guys from the football team in the locker room,” she said.

  “He what?” My brow puckered. “Why the hell would he do something like that?”

  “Word is because they were saying something nasty about you,” she answered.

  I closed my eyes with a groan and slumped over again. “Of course he would.” It didn’t matter that I didn’t give a shit. It didn’t matter that I could very well take care of myself. Maverick was definitely the type to punch someone in the face if they were insulting someone he cared about. It made him endearing, but at the same time made me want to sit him down and smack the shit out of him. Words from some nobody high schooler meant nothing to me.

  “That’s not all,” Olivia hissed, catching my attention once more.

  I peeked up at her, narrowing my eyes. “What else?”

  She glanced to the side, making sure the couple at the other end of the table wasn’t paying us any attention before leaning even farther towards me and lowering her voice. “It wasn’t like a normal beating,” she whispered. “People who saw it say he lost his shit. It looked like he was going to kill the guy. He completely didn’t hear anyone and when a couple of the guys in the locker room tried to pry him off, he threw them off like it was nothing. I don’t know how they managed to get him off the other guy, but they said that he didn’t even seem to realize what he’d done. It was like he was a completely different person. And after it happened, he just walked out. They had to call an ambulance for the kid he beat up. It was insane.”

  “That…” I trailed off. That didn’t sound like Maverick at all. Maverick was the epitome of in control.

  “I know.” Olivia nodded sagely, picking up her plastic fork and stabbing it into her salad. “Totes crazy. I heard Coach is gonna give him a heavy talking to today and he might even get suspended. I’m surprised he even showed up to school today.”