“It’s okay,” Katy interrupted, swiping at her eyes. She felt the truth trying to get out. And while Hannah was a client, she was a friend, first and foremost. Maybe talking about it would help. Keeping quiet and focusing on work certainly hadn’t.
“Hit it off is putting it mildly,” she started with a weak smile.
Understanding dawned in Hannah’s pretty green eyes. “I take it things didn’t end well?”
You could say that… Katy bit her lip before blurting out the truth. “I ran away.”
Hannah widened her eyes. “You…what?”
Katy nodded. “I ran, like a complete and total coward.”
It was humiliating but it was a bit of a relief to state the truth.
Hannah blinked a few times as she clearly tried to comprehend this news. “But…I don’t understand. That doesn’t sound like you.”
It didn’t. Katy took a deep breath to quiet the unease and the shame.
Hannah’s expression softened with sympathy. “He must have really done a number on you.”
Katy nodded. “He was nice. Understanding and supportive and…perfect even.”
Hannah gave a mock grimace. “I can see why you ran then.”
A laugh bubbled up despite her misery as she went along with the joke. “I know, right? How dare he be so sweet to me?”
They shared a silly smile before Katy sniffled again, shaking her head. “I know it made no sense to run. I just panicked.” She looked up at Hannah. “I’ve never felt anything like this before.”
“What does it feel like?” Hannah asked with a small smile.
Now it was Katy’s turn to widen her eyes. How did it feel? Where to begin. “It was amazing when we were together,” she said, though that didn’t even begin to cover it. “We had this bond that I never knew I could have with another person, let alone so quickly. It was like it was there between us from the very beginning even when we were driving each other nuts.”
Hannah let out a little laugh at that and Katy found herself smiling despite herself at the memory of how they’d first met on the plane. “We weren’t an obvious match,” she said. “I’d thought he was a chauvinistic, backwards alpha male and he probably thought I was a snobby elitist.”
Hannah laughed again. “Sounds like a match made in heaven.”
Katy grinned, fully immersed in the memory now. Replaying the moments in the drive, they way he’d teased her, the simmering tension between them that had made her ice queen façade impossible to maintain. “It was, actually. Once I let him in…once he let me in…”
Hannah’s gaze grew soft with emotions. “Sounds like the real deal, Katy.”
Katy nodded. It had felt like the real deal. “But since I’ve been back, I’ve been miserable.”
“Does he know how you feel?”
Katy pursed her lips, hating to think about her silence after he’d told her he loved her. Every time she thought of it she kicked herself for being a coward. Now, she shook her head. “I don’t think so. I mean, not really. I didn’t say it and I should have.”
Hannah leaned forward, lowering her voice. “It’s never too late, you know.”
Katy’s inhale was swift as she tried to calm the answering nerves. “But what good will that do? It will only make this harder.”
“This…what, exactly?” Hannah looked genuinely confused.
Katy straightened, telling Hannah what she’d been telling herself this entire time. “Much as I might care about this man, I can’t be with him.”
“Okay,” Hannah drawled, clearly still confused. “And why not, exactly?” Her eyes widened. “He’s not married, is he?”
“What? No. I mean, he was, but he’s not now.”
Hannah fell back in her seat. “Great. So what’s the problem?”
What’s the problem? What’s the problem? Did she not see it? “He lives in Montana,” Katy said, stating the obvious. “He lives on a ranch.”
Hannah frowned. “Didn’t you like it there?”
“Yes, of course I did.” Once again, that was a massive understatement.
“But you wouldn’t want to live there,” Hannah finished for her.
Katy opened her mouth to agree and stopped. She had a vision of herself living at Twilight and it filled her with such joy it physically hurt to squash it. “I can’t live there.”
Hannah nodded. “I see. Because of your business?”
Katy started to say yes but stopped. A thought that had been nagging at her refused to let her agree outright. “I mean, I suppose I could work from home anywhere if I really wanted to. I’d have to hire someone to help me out here—meet with clients in person, if needed, and go to venues. But most of the work I do from home….”
She stared out at the ocean as she finally let herself contemplate what she’d been actively avoiding. It was possible. She could do it if she really wanted to. Wasn’t that one of the reasons she’d started up this company for herself in the first place? She’d wanted the freedom that came with working for herself. She’d wanted the ability to travel and craft her own life. She’d wanted independence. That word gave her pause. It reminded her of why she’d been fighting this idea from the moment she left the ranch.
Sitting up straighter, she faced Hannah and shook her head. “I can’t, Hannah. I can’t go and uproot my life for a man.”
Hannah scrunched up her nose in confusion. “But he’s not just any man.”
No, he wasn’t. He was the man. He was everything. She shook her head again, this time exasperated with herself. “It doesn’t matter. I promised myself that I would create a life on my terms. That I wouldn’t change anything about my life for any man, no matter what.”
“I see,” Hannah said slowly. She looked like she was turning this idea over in her mind. “So, you won’t make any changes in your life for a man…even if it’s what you want?”
Somehow when Hannah said it back to her like that, it just sounded silly. Stupid even.
She frowned. “I’ve given up everything before and—”
“You were young,” Hannah interrupted gently. “Maybe you made a mistake. But don’t—”
She stopped and bit her lip.
“What?” Katy prompted.
Hannah sighed. “I guess I’m just saying, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. It’s great that you’ve learned from your mistakes and that you’re taking steps not to repeat them.” She stopped again and pursed her lips, clearly lost in thought. “I just wouldn’t want to see you miss out on something great because you’re too afraid of making another mistake.”
Katy battled another wave of tears, but this time out of frustration. The tears were coming way too easily these days. “So how do I know? How do I know if I’m making a mistake or not?”
Hannah’s smile was sweet and reassuring as she reached out and squeezed her hand. “I think sometimes you just need to have faith. In yourself and in the person you love.”
Faith. The word did something to her insides. It made everything shift and fall into place. For the first time in days, life didn’t seem so bleak. For the first time since she left Dax, she saw a light, a glimmer of hope.
She shifted physically as her thoughts jostled to make sense of what her heart already knew. Hannah was right.
Yes, she would be making a lot of changes and she would be doing it so she could be with a man. With Dax. But she wouldn’t be doing it for Dax, she would be doing it for herself, because it was what she wanted.
That was a huge difference. She wouldn’t be handing over control of her life, and Dax would never ask that of her. He wasn’t her ex and he was nothing like her father. She’d been so scared of falling into another controlling relationship that she hadn’t stopped to think about the type of man Dax was, let alone how much she’d changed since then.
If she did this—if she took the steps to make this work between them—she would be doing it on her terms. It would be her decision. She would be going after what she wanted.
> And what she wanted was Dax.
She thought back to the ranch, the way she’d felt at home there.
What she wanted was that—the feeling of home and belonging that she’d had when she was in Lulu, with Dax. The feeling she had when she was with Dax, period.
Her heart rate picked up as what she was thinking started to become clear. She was going to do this. She was going to go after what she wanted.
She was going to get her man.
Hannah seemed to read it on her expression and her own lit up in return. “Does this mean you’ve come to your senses?”
Katy nodded. Now that she’d made the decision, she was too excited to sit still. There was so much she had to do. So many things to take care of, but first and foremost—she had to catch a flight.
She shoved the binder toward Hannah. “Um, I’m sorry to do this but—”
“Go, go!” Hannah was laughing as she shooed her from the table. “I’ll look it over and if I have any questions I’ll call you. Or better yet, I’ll call Claire’s new sister-in-law. She runs the events at the ranch, right?”
Katy nodded, too excited about her new idea to speak. It was perfect. The answer to her work dilemma staring her right in the face this whole time.
Alice. Alice was dying to get out of Lulu. She’d wanted nothing more than to do what Katy was doing, and Katy wanted nothing more than to be on the ranch. If they joined forces, maybe they could both get what they wanted.
She could hear Hannah’s laughter following her as she raced toward the door, but she didn’t care.
She had a new life to plan.
Chapter Seventeen
Dax would never have considered himself much of a wedding planner, but the day before Cole and Claire’s ceremony he found himself being put to work by his taskmaster of a sister.
He normally wouldn’t hate the menial jobs so much if the whole wedding itself wasn’t rubbing his face in what he’d lost.
Ever since that failed intervention the other day, Dax now no longer just mourned the loss of the woman he’d fallen for—the woman who’d managed to take his life and flip it upside down, rearranging his world and his priorities over the course of one weekend. No, thanks to his siblings and their good intentions, now he found himself battling doubt every second of the day.
Maybe they were right, maybe he should go after her.
But no, he needed to respect her decision. She deserved that.
But what if he could convince her?
If telling her he loved her hadn’t convinced her to give them a shot, then what would?
Telling her he’d give up Twilight Ranch.
And that’s where the debate always led. He looked around the ranch as he lugged some spare chairs out of the barn’s storage area and to the wedding venue itself—a semi-enclosed space that had a spectacular view of the valley below.
Could he give this up? Yes. The answer tugged at his heart, but he knew it to be true. If Katy accepted him into her life, he would do whatever it took to win her. Or at least he would if it was just his happiness at stake. But if he quit the ranch, what would happen to his family, to their legacy, to James and all the other ranch hands and seasonal workers who relied on this place for work?
He set the chairs up one by one as he weighed his options for what felt like the millionth time. Maybe James and Cole could handle it on their own—at least for a while. If the garage picked up with business than Cole would be forced to split his attention and they’d have to consider hiring someone new.
But then again, if the guest ranch took off, maybe they could afford it.
Maybe. Someday. These were hardly the kinds of words he wanted to use when he went to Katy and begged her to give him a chance.
When. He’d thought when, not if. He stopped putting up the chairs and stared off into the distance, but he was barely seeing the incredible view. He’d stunned himself stupid.
Without him even realizing it, it seemed the inner debate had been won.
His heart had come out the champion.
He didn’t know whether to laugh at it all. He was acting crazy. It would be the very definition of rash to drop his responsibilities and go after her.
But he was going to do it.
For once he would have to lean on his friends and family. He’d have to set aside that pride of his and accept help.
Funny, that thought would have killed him once upon a time. But now?
Well, now he knew he was willing to do whatever it took to have Katy at his side.
Heck, he’d even move to California.
Now he did laugh, running a hand through his hair as he attempted to come to grips with the enormity of what he’d decided. There was no debate anymore. It was happening.
His brain would catch up eventually.
He’d just started heading back to the barn for more supplies when Cole’s shout from the doorway of the main house caught his attention. Cole waved wildly and Dax headed his way.
“What’s going on?” he asked as he drew near.
His brother wore an insufferable smirk. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he was marrying the woman he loved while Dax’s true love fled the state, he sure didn’t have to smirk about it.
“There’s something you need to see,” Cole said, leading the way back to the family room.
The others were gathered in the entrance to the room. Oh brother. If this was another intervention, he swore he’d throttle them all, wedding or no wedding.
But then they caught sight of him and the sea of siblings and friends parted.
No, it couldn’t be.
Katy stood there, her hands clasped in front of her as she gave him a tentative smile.
“Katy?” He wasn’t sure why he asked her name as a question. It probably had something to do with the fact that he still wasn’t sure he could trust his eyes. Maybe this week of sleeplessness and inner debate had taken its toll and he’d finally lost it. Maybe he was actually seeing things.
She took a step toward him. “Hi Dax.”
Her voice seemed to be the cue for his family to rush out of there and give them some privacy. Within seconds the others had fled and he was alone with his Katy. He hesitated for a moment and so did she, but then he moved quick and fierce. Nothing in the world could have stopped him from pulling her into his arms and kissing her.
This was bliss. This was heaven. The feel of her lips beneath his was a balm for his broken heart and wounded pride. She moaned softly as she leaned against him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she met him kiss for eager kiss.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered between kisses.
His heart ached at the pain in her voice and he shook his head. “Don’t apologize.”
She pulled back then, forcing a distance so she could meet his gaze. “But I am sorry,” she said. “I should never have run like that. Not from us, and not from you.”
A pure, undiluted joy like he’d never known flooded through his veins. He pulled her close once more but before he could kiss her she spoke again.
“I love you, Dax.”
He stared at her unblinking for a moment as her words registered. “Are you sure?”
It wasn’t what he’d meant to say but it was what came out. There was a little part of him that was afraid to believe her. Because if she said those words now and left him again, he wouldn’t be able to handle it.
She nodded, and her wobbly smile reached her eyes, which were filled with tears, but also the same overwhelming joy that he’d experienced. “I’m sure,” she said. “I love you.”
He nearly wept the joy was so intense. Instead he crushed her to him, murmuring words of love and happiness as he held her tight. He reveled in the weight of her in his arms, of her warmth against his, of her scent filling his senses.
She was here. Now. With him.
That was all he would ever need.
He needed her to know that. She had to know what she meant to him—and that was everything. She meant more
to him than even this ranch, which had always been his top priority. He pulled back and met her gaze, which was still watery with unshed tears but filled with the kind of happiness that he hoped to see there every day for the rest of his life.
“I was going to come to you,” he said.
She arched her brows as her smile grew. “I guess I beat you to it then.”
He laughed. “I guess you did.”
She tilted her head to the side. “What were you going to say?”
He drew in a deep breath. “I was going to tell you that I will do whatever needs to be done to make it possible for us to be together.”
She blinked at him. “What?”
He looked around them pointedly. “I’ll leave the ranch. I’ll come to Los Angeles. I’ll probably need to come back and help out until we can hire—”
“No.”
Now it was his turn to stand there blinking. “No?”
She shook her head. “No. You’re not going anywhere.” One side of her mouth hitched up in a rueful grin. “If you move to Los Angeles we’d definitely have an O. Henry moment going on.”
He shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
She sighed but her smile told him she was teasing. “I’m saying you’d get to Los Angeles only to find that I had moved to Lulu.”
He laughed and shook his head. She couldn’t be serious…could she? “Now I know you’re joking.”
She grasped his hands in hers. “I’m not. I am one hundred percent serious.”
She was, he noted with fascination. He could see it in her eyes. “But…but, I don’t want you to give up your life for me,” he said.
“And I don’t want you to give up everything you love for me,” she said.
“I couldn’t ask you to—”
Before he could argue, she continued. “That’s the thing. You didn’t ask me to, and you certainly didn’t manipulate me into it or order me to do it.” She smiled up at him. “This is my decision. It is what I want.”
“What about your business?” he asked.
Steel Toes & Stilettos (Sweet & Rugged in Montana Book 2) Page 15
