A Mixed Proposal

by W. W. Jacobs

should I be?Why, I might have to break off in the middle and go home. A fellow can'tpropose when everything in the room is going round and round."

  "I don't think you ought to contemplate marriage, Halibut," remarked theMajor, very seriously and gently.

  "Thanks," said Halibut, dryly.

  "Very well," said the Major, "I agree to the conditions. Better come tomy place and we'll decide it now. If we look sharp, the winner may beable to know his fate to-day, after all."

  Halibut assenting, they walked back together. The feverish joy of thegambler showed in the Major's eye as they drew their chairs up to thelittle antique chess table and began to place their pieces ready for thefray. Then a thought struck him, and he crossed over to the sideboard.

  "If you're feeling a bit off colour, Halibut," he said, kindly, "you'dbetter have a little brandy to pull yourself together. I don't wish totake a mean advantage."

  "You're very good," said the other, as he eyed the noble measure ofliquid poured out by his generous adversary.

  "And now to business," said the Major, as he drew himself a little sodafrom a siphon.

  "Now to business," repeated Halibut, rising and placing his glass on themantel-piece.

  The Major struggled fiercely with his feelings, but, despite himself, aguilty blush lent colour to the other's unfounded suspicions.

  "Remember the conditions," said Halibut, impressively.

  "Here's my hand on it," said the other, reaching over.

  Halibut took it, and, his thoughts being at the moment far away, gave ita tender, respectful squeeze. The Major stared and coughed. It wassuggestive of practice.

  If the history of the duel is ever written, it will be found not unworthyof being reckoned with the most famous combats of ancient times. Pieceafter piece was removed from the board, and the Major drank glass afterglass of soda to cool his heated brain. At the second glass Halibut tookan empty tumbler and helped himself. Suddenly there was a singing in theMajor's ears, and a voice, a hateful, triumphant voice, said,

  "Checkmate!"

  Then did his gaze wander from knight to bishop and bishop to castle in avain search for succour. There was his king defied by a bishop--a bishopwhich had been hobnobbing with pawns in one corner of the board, andwhich he could have sworn he had captured and removed full twenty minutesbefore. He mentioned this impression to Halibut.

  "That was the other one," said his foe. "I thought you had forgottenthis. I have been watching and hoping so for the last half-hour."

  There was no disguising the coarse satisfaction of the man. He hadwatched and hoped. Not beaten him, so the Major told himself, in fairplay, but by taking a mean and pitiful advantage of a pure oversight. Asheer oversight. He admitted it.

  Halibut rose with a sigh of relief, and the Major, mechanically sweepingup the pieces, dropped them one by one into the box.

  "Plenty of time," said the victor, glancing at the clock. "I shall gonow, but I should like a wash first."

  The Major rose, and in his capacity of host led the way upstairs to hisroom, and poured fresh water for his foe. Halibut washed himselfdelicately, carefully trimming his hair and beard, and anxiouslyconsulting the Major as to the set of his coat in the back, afterhe had donned it again.

  His toilet completed, he gave a satisfied glance in the glass, and thenfollowed the man of war sedately down stairs. At the hall he paused, andbusied himself with the clothes-brush and hat-pad, modestly informing hisglaring friend that he could not afford to throw any chances away, andthen took his departure.

  The Major sat up late that night waiting for news, but none came, and bybreakfast-time next morning his thirst for information became almostuncontrollable. He toyed with a chop and allowed his coffee to get cold.Then he clapped on his hat and set off to Halibut's to know the worst.

  "Well?" he inquired, as he followed the other into his dining-room.

  "I went," said Halibut, waving him to a chair.

  "Am I to congratulate you?"

  "Well, I don't know," was the reply; "perhaps not just yet."

  "What do you mean by that?" said the Major, irascibly.

  "Well, as a matter of fact," said Halibut, "she refused me, but so nicelyand so gently that I scarcely minded it. In fact, at first I hardlyrealized that she had refused me."

  The Major rose, and regarding his poor friend kindly, shook and pattedhim lightly on the shoulder.

  "She's a splendid woman," said Halibut. "Ornament to her sex," remarkedthe Major.

  "So considerate," murmured the bereaved one.

  "Good women always are," said the Major, decisively. "I don't think I'dbetter worry her to-day, Halibut, do you?"

  "No, I don't," said Halibut, stiffly.

  "I'll try my luck to-morrow," said the Major.

  "I beg your pardon," said Halibut.

  "Eh?" said the Major, trying to look puzzled.

  "You are forgetting the conditions of the game," replied Halibut. "Youhave to obtain my permission first."

  "Why, my dear fellow," said the Major, with a boisterous laugh."I wouldn't insult you by questioning your generosity in such a case.No, no, Halibut, old fellow, I know you too well."

  He spoke with feeling, but there was an anxious note in his voice.

  "We must abide by the conditions," said Halibut, slowly; "and I mustinform you, Brill, that I intend to renew the attack myself."

  "Then, sir," said the Major, fuming, "you compel me to say--putting allmodesty aside--that I believe the reason Mrs. Riddel would have nothingto do with you was because she thought somebody else might make a similaroffer."

  "That's what I thought," said Halibut, simply; "but you see now that youhave so unaccountably--so far as Mrs. Riddel is concerned--dropped out ofthe running, perhaps, if I am gently persistent, she'll take me."

  The Major rose and glared at him.

  "If you don't take care, old chap," said Halibut, tenderly, "you'll burstsomething."

  "Gently persistent," repeated the Major, staring at him; "gentlypersistent."

  "Remember Bruce and his spider," smiled the other.

  "You are not going to propose to that poor woman nine times?" roared hisincensed friend.

  "I hope that it will not be necessary," was the reply; "but if it is, Ican assure you, my dear Brill, that I'm not going to be outclassed by amere spider."

  "But think of her feelings!" gasped the Major.

  "I have," was the reply; "and I'm sure she'll thank me for it afterward.You see, Brill, you and I are the only eligibles in the place, and nowyou are out of it, she's sure to take me sooner or later."

  "And pray how long am I to wait?" demanded the Major, controllinghimself with difficulty.

  "I can't say," said Halibut; "but I don't think it's any good yourwaiting at all, because if I see any signs that Mrs. Riddel is waitingfor you I may just give her a hint of the hopelessness of it."

  "You're a perfect Mephistopheles, sir!" bawled the indignant Major.Halibut bowed.

  "Strategy, my dear Brill," he said, smiling; "strategy. Now why wasteyour time? Why not make some other woman happy? Why not try hercompanion, Miss Philpotts? I'm sure any little assistance--"

  The Major's attitude was so alarming that the sentence was neverfinished, and a second later the speaker found himself alone, watchinghis irate friend hurrying frantically down the path, knocking the bloomsoff the geraniums with his cane as he went. He saw no more of him forseveral weeks, the Major preferring to cherish his resentment in theprivacy of his house. The Major also refrained from seeing the widow,having a wholesome dread as to what effect the contemplation of hercharms might have upon his plighted word.

  He met her at last by chance. Mrs. Riddel bowed coldly and would havepassed on, but the Major had already stopped, and was making wild andunmerited statements about the weather.

  "It is seasonable," she said, simply.

  The Major agreed with her, and with a strong-effort regained hiscomposure.

  "I was ju
st going to turn back," he said, untruthfully; "may I walk withyou?"

  "I am not going far," was the reply.

  With soldierly courage the Major took this as permission; with feminineprecision Mrs. Riddel walked about fifty yards and then stopped. "I toldyou I wasn't going far," she said sweetly, as she held out her hand."Goodby."

  "I wanted to ask you something," said the Major, turning with her. "Ican't think what it was.

  They walked on very