by Rowe, Ruby
“It’s obvious they screwed up the test since the results say I’m the perfect match for Liam’s father. It wouldn’t show that close of a relation. I swear no one can do their job right anymore.”
I drag my gaze back to him, and even that takes a great deal of effort.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Pulling his eyebrows together, he examines me.
“No, I’m sorry. I should be focusing on you instead of going on and on about this. I’m sure we’ll get it sorted out. Are you feeling any better? We should go downstairs and find you something to eat. I’ll have Irene start dinner, as well.”
Ellis continues talking, rambling really, and I don’t know how to regain composure to form a sentence. He’s Liam’s father.
Ellis is my son’s father.
Not Tony … Ellis.
“Baby, you’re worrying me,” he says. His endearing term snaps me back to the present.
“I’m fine, but you seem overly anxious.”
Glancing down at his desk, he sets the paper aside.
“It’s been a strange, hectic day, and I’m concerned about you.”
I tilt my head to the side and sigh. “I’m sorry. In the future, I’ll make sure not to stretch out my mealtimes.” What I should say is that I’m sorry for doing what Tony asked of me that night over four years ago.
I’m sorry you’ve been robbed of knowing Liam … your son, a boy I can already tell you love. That’s what I should say….
Before I can stop them, tears drop to my cheeks. Ellis shoves his chair back and walks around the desk. Squatting next to me, he cradles my face and brushes the tears away with his thumbs.
“Why are you crying?”
“I think I’m overwhelmed and tired.” Needing to change the subject, I frown. “I got all the way to the gynecologist’s office today, only to be told that I wasn’t in the system for an appointment. It’s like I’m not supposed to get birth control.
“They felt bad that they goofed, so they’re going to fit me in first thing in the morning.” I smile against his hands. “Since pot was legalized in this state, I’m wondering if people are smoking it for more than recreation. I think they’re high on the job.”
“I have to agree, and it’s nice to see you smile again.”
Covering his hand with mine, I lean in and kiss his lips.
“I’ll go grab a bite to eat, and then if you don’t mind, I’m going to lie down for a bit before Emma leaves.”
“That’s probably wise after your fainting spell. I’ll wake you up for dinner.” Ellis’s forehead scrunches, and his eyes roam over my face, his expression intense.
“Is everything OK?” I ask.
“You just … you’ve always reminded me of someone, but I’ve never been able to place who that someone is.” His thumb skims over my bottom lip. “I also enjoy admiring you since you’re so beautiful.”
Giving him a nervous smile, I grip his dress shirt at his chest.
“Well, I hope that’s not the only reason you’re attracted to me.”
“Hardly, Camilla. Yes, you’re stunning, but you possess many other qualities that draw me to you. You’re smart, kind and an amazing mother. You’re also strong and genuine … always wanting to do what’s right.”
Like my gaze, my mind strays, recalling negative memories.
“That’s good to hear. After having to lie all these years about my identity, I wasn’t sure I knew that girl anymore. I had to become someone distant and untrusting, but I’m working on changing that.”
Squinting, Ellis takes a step back.
“What did you say? Repeat what you just said.”
“I said I had to become someone distant and untrusting, but I’m working on changing that. You’re so kind to Liam and me, and I believe you when you say you won’t hurt me with my past. I’m learning to trust wholeheartedly for the first time in my life, and I owe that to you.”
Swallowing, Ellis walks back to his chair. He runs a hand down the front of his dress shirt and sits.
“You should eat something and rest before Liam demands your attention.”
“That was too deep, wasn’t it?”
“No, it was fine. I just remembered a call I need to make for work. It’s important.”
“OK. I guess I’ll see you at dinner then.”
Shuffling papers around, he doesn’t look up, so I leave his office. Maybe our conversations will continue to deepen, and I’ll find the nerve and strength to tell him everything. It must happen, and I’m terrified of that realization.
CHAPTER TWO
One Week Later
Ellis
“I figured Fletcher would drive us,” Greyson says as we’re about to exit his parking garage.
“I need to be in control tonight.” I tug on my lower lip as I watch for a break in traffic to pull out onto the road. I get my chance but cut it close, so I hammer it, shifting my BMW Z4 fast. I get on it, hitting seventy in seconds, and Greyson grabs the handle above the passenger door.
“Damn, you know I love it when you cut loose, but you don’t have that much practice at it, so be a little more cautious please.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not that uptight.” Recalling a memory from our college days, I glance at him and grin. “And you’re one to talk about not having practice.
“Have you forgotten that first weekend you were at Stanford? Ignorant about mixing different alcohols, you downed shots and beer all night long.
“You acted like a tool in front of my friends, and I thought you were going to suffocate on your vomit from how much you drank. Of course, that wasn’t until after you threw up on that Theta sorority chick while hitting on her.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that story a million times, but I got it together and became cooler than your sorry ass in no time.” As he chuckles, I grip the steering wheel tighter.
“There was a time I would’ve agreed. Now, I know the truth. You were only louder and obnoxious, not cooler.” My tone is sharp–cold even. I sense his eyes on me in the silence.
“Damn. I was only joking, Ellis. You’re right, I was obnoxious … more reckless, too. Both Tony and I were handfuls, and you know I’m indebted to you for helping me get my shit together.”
I shake my head. I swear I’m losing my damn mind.
“I shouldn’t have said that. I apologize. I guess I am uptight most of the time, especially tonight.”
“Stop being hard on yourself. I don’t get why you always do that.”
Neither of us speak again until I park at The Brown Palace. Greyson unbuckles and clasps my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
“Come on, cuz. I’ll let you buy the first round.” He snickers since that means I’m buying two drinks for him, but you know what? I think I’m having a drink tonight.
“No, you can buy me a drink for a change. Just one.”
“Wow, first you tear it up on my street, and now you’re having a drink… What next? Are you going to tell me you knocked up some chick?”
“Ha ha, funny, man. I think the window for that joke expired.”
“Oh, you got to admit those test results were funny.”
“I called the lab again today to see if they figured out what went wrong, and they still insist they conducted the test properly.
“The whole thing was strange, like everything has been since Tony died. Let’s go inside, and I’ll tell you about it. I think I’m going crazy over something.”
Greyson and I sit at a small table at Churchill Bar in the hotel. The few patrons are subdued, much like the dim lighting. It’s how I prefer it. Actually, it’s how I need it in order to keep a grasp on my social anxiety. My family members know better than to ask me to go to a nightclub or busy bar.
As I expected him to do, he orders us both a scotch. When it arrives, he takes a drink and sets it down on his napkin.
“Did you get the last email I sent you regarding Tony’s trust? At least he did one thing right by setting that up
before his death. It fast-tracked everything.”
“I did. Thank you.”
“So, what’s going on that has you so worked up?”
As I think about how to proceed, I take a sip of my drink.
“Has anyone ever seemed familiar to you, but you’re sure you haven’t met them before?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. I usually realize they resemble someone else I know.”
“Right, but what if you can’t place who that someone is?”
“Where are you going with this?”
“It’s Camilla… That first night I saw her at the funeral home, I thought I’d met her before, but she swore I hadn’t.”
“OK, so what’s the big deal?”
“Last week, she said something, and it was like déjà vu. I could’ve sworn she’d said the same thing to me before, but not recently.”
He shrugs. “Everyone experiences déjà vu occasionally.”
“But this felt more real than that, and she seemed even more familiar to me.” I take another drink of the gold liquid and look away. “Something else happened, too.”
“I swear it’s like pulling teeth to get information out of you. What happened?”
“The reason I hung up on you when I saw the test results was because Sasha’s boyfriend showed up. He wanted money.”
“You told him to fuck off, right?”
“No, I gave him ten grand. It was all he asked for.”
He brushes back his blond hair. “Why would you give him a dime?”
“I needed him to disappear for good. I don’t want him around Camilla, Liam or Sasha ever again.”
“All right. What does that have to do with the other part of your story?”
“He claimed I had met Camilla before. He said she was keeping it a secret from me, but he didn’t know why. Sasha supposedly told him while she was high.”
Greyson arches a brow. “That’s odd.”
“Tell me about it. If he wanted me pissed at Camilla, which he did, you’d think he would’ve made up something more convincing. He could’ve said she was after my money or was seeing someone else. What he said made no sense.”
“Yet you can’t seem to wonder if he was telling the truth.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Not word for word, but it’s obvious.”
“OK, but it’s ridiculous, right? That’s what you’re supposed to tell me. I mean, if it was only a casual meeting between us, say through Tony, what would be the reason for her to keep it from me? If it was more than a casual meeting, I’d remember. You can’t forget a woman like Camilla.”
Nodding, Greyson grabs his drink and downs it.
“That, I agree with. She’s beautiful and stands out since she doesn’t look or act like the snooty bitches in our circle.”
“Exactly. Camilla didn’t come from money. She still wears some of her old clothes and hates that Irene waits on her. She wouldn’t have a nanny care for Liam if I didn’t insist. Hell, she doesn’t even get manicures. Her down-to-earth nature makes me want to give her everything.”
“But you can’t shake that she’s hiding something.” Glancing away, I take another drink. I can’t look him in the eye and say I don’t trust Camilla. It feels wrong. “Look, just point-blank ask her if you’ve met before.”
“I did at the funeral home.”
“Ask again. You two are closer now, so if it’s true, maybe she’ll admit it. If she’s adamant you didn’t meet until recently, you can move on and chalk it up as paranoia caused by Sasha’s dick of a boyfriend. I should say ex-boyfriend. Speaking of which, how is Camilla’s sister doing?”
“She’s angry at us for putting her in rehab. I don’t know if it will work out or not.”
“It’s only been a couple of weeks. That behavior is to be expected, but if she’s not more receptive to treatment soon, I could go see her. Maybe it would help.”
“Why would you do that? You barely know her.”
He smiles. “She’s Liam Burke’s aunt. That makes her important to me.”
Liam Burke…
“I want Liam’s last name changed, but I’m trying to exercise patience with my demands–I mean requests.”
Greyson’s smile spreads wide like the Hoover Dam.
“Demands … interesting. You know, I overheard you on the phone that night we went to Camilla’s apartment. You mentioned a playroom. Care to elaborate?”
“It’s private.” I swallow the last of my drink, and our server is at our table in seconds. I cover the glass with my hand and shake my head. One is my limit. I won’t tell Greyson, but I can already feel the damn drink.
“I shouldn’t be surprised you’re into kink; the quiet ones are always the freakiest.”
I roll my eyes. “OK, so I’m into BDSM, but out of respect for Camilla, I’m not going to discuss the details.”
“Damn. You’ve been full of surprises since Tony passed.” Greyson’s smile falls away. “I miss the arrogant bastard. He was the life of the party. I guess there’ll be less drama at family gatherings now.”
“I wouldn’t count on it.”
His grin returns full-scale. “Oh, right. You’re going to lie to your family and announce that you have a kid. When is that happening, by the way? It’s paining me to keep this secret.”
“I’m thinking I’ll spring it on them at the benefit gala they’re hosting this weekend. They won’t have the privacy or time to interrogate me until after they’ve processed the news.”
“Please make sure I’m at the table when that happens.” His eyes are round, exuding excitement. While I may take life a little too seriously, Greyson doesn’t enough.
He’s avoiding what he believes is the inevitable: a wedding with Whitney Peterson. Their marriage was arranged once they were teenagers, and although he did love her then, he doesn’t any longer. He feels trapped, but only he can change that.
He’ll have to fight for what he desires, like I’m finally doing. The problem is, Greyson doesn’t know who or what he wants, and he’s running out of time.
CHAPTER THREE
Ellis
“Good morning,” Camilla says at my office door.
“Hi.” Rubbing my eyes, I lean back in my chair.
“Did you even go to bed last night?” She frowns and steps closer.
“Yes, about midnight, but then I woke up at four and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I figured I’d work while the house was quiet.”
“I thought I’d pop in and say hi before I left for my doctor’s appointment. Irene is going to keep an eye on Liam until Emma gets here. I’m crossing my fingers that everything goes smoothly this time and I get my pills.”
I glance to the clock. “Mitch is supposed to be here in ten minutes to ride with you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Is that still necessary?”
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, and yes, it’s necessary. Christopher thinks Tony’s death was due to his dealings with foreign intelligence.
“If so, then you shouldn’t be out alone. I used my connections and formed the best security team. Mitch was a Delta Force operator, so he’ll keep you safe.”
Strolling around my desk, she leans over and kisses my cheek. I use the opportunity to take hold of her and give her a passionate kiss; it’s one that conveys my desire for her and the need to keep her safe.
“OK, he can ride along. Thank you for looking out for me.”
“You’re welcome, and I always will.”
Once Camilla leaves, I yawn and attempt to reengage in work but it’s difficult. I’m tired after waking up early from a dream I had about a party I went to at Tony’s house four or so years ago. I assume drinking last night with Greyson caused me to have the dream.
Attending my brother’s party is why I seldom consume alcohol. I got drunk on only a few beers, and then I pulled a Greyson and added a bottle of champagne to the mix without any recollection.
I woke up the next morning in a spare bedroom, remembering little from t
he night before, and I’d never felt so hung over in all my life. I couldn’t shake it for a couple of days. I only remembered the champagne since an empty bottle and glass were on the nightstand.
I believe I awoke from the dream this morning because of the lady in red. The one I frequently have of her merged with the one of me at Tony’s party. Somehow, she was in the spare bed with me.
I need to get Camilla back to our hideaway. Time with her in the playroom stopped me from having the unsettling dreams. I have to regain my control again.
Camilla
Arriving home from my doctor’s appointment, I go straight up the stairs. I bypass Ellis’s office and resist the urge to stop at Liam’s room when I hear him giggling with Emma.
Once in my bedroom, I set my purse on a chair and pull out the pharmacy bag with my birth control pills inside. I take them into the bathroom and put them in a drawer where Liam shouldn’t find them. My little one…
Being at the gynecologist’s office stirred up emotions I’ve so far managed to stuff. My doctor is an obstetrician, as well, so being in the company of pregnant women in the lobby was a reminder of my time carrying Liam in my belly.
Feeling weak, I shift around and lean back against the vanity. I lower my head and weep.
I was also reminded of how Ellis missed over three years of his son’s life. The thing is, even if I’d suspected Ellis was the father, I wouldn’t have changed a thing all those years because before I knew him and recalled everything about the night we spent together, I believed he was a dangerous human being.
One to be feared. A man capable of selling top-secret government information to the Chinese that could cripple our country.
When I agreed to assist Tony, I felt like I was the hero’s lover in a spy movie, helping to save the day. It seemed right at the time.
I would distract Ellis while Tony went to his house, broke into his safe and stole pertinent information before it ended up in the wrong hands. In exchange for that, I would please the man I was in love with and receive twenty-five thousand dollars to pay for a longer rehab stay for Sasha.
I was so foolish. I can’t believe I fell for Tony’s bullshit. I thought doing what he asked of me would lead to a commitment from him, but instead, I woke up the next morning feeling more disposable and used than I ever had.
