by Rowe, Ruby
Sucking in a breath, I grab a tissue to wipe my eyes. There’s a knock on my bathroom door that causes me to jump.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Ellis says. “Are you OK?”
“Uh, yeah. I was going to take a quick shower and then come find you.”
“OK...”
I cover my pounding heart as if my hand could quiet it. I fear the second Ellis gets a good look at me, he’ll see the truth. He’ll discover my secret.
***
After I shower, I put my hair into a neater bun and dress in jeans and a teal sweatshirt. I sit on a bench in my walk-in closet and put on my tennis shoes.
I need fresh air and time with Liam. I have to clear my head and decide when it’s best to tell Ellis my news. Will he kick me out? Will he break his promise and take Liam from me? Will he tell Greyson not to pay Sasha’s rehab bills?
All my life, I’ve done what was needed to protect myself and my family. As important as it is for him to know the truth, I feel incapable of stepping out of my survival mode.
Liam, along with the opportunity to raise him, must come before everything else, but Ellis is quickly moving up the priority list. His heart is special to me, and I don’t want to break it. I can’t win no matter what decision I choose.
Shaking off my frustration and fear, I grab my purse and walk to Liam’s room.
“Momma!” he exclaims before he practically falls from the chair at his desk, trying to get out of it. He brings me the workbook in his hand and holds it up.
“Emma showed me how to make numbers.” Grinning with pride, he points to the page so I can see his handwriting. “I drew this many.” He holds up five fingers.
“I see. You did a great job.”
“I want to show Boss.” He slurs his letter S, and it sounds adorable.
“OK. We’ll go find him in a minute.” I point at the desk. “Pick up your pencils and crayons while I talk to Emma.” He skips away but adds a huff of irritation.
“He’s doing really well for his age, but I have noticed he squints often and has to look back at my examples more times than he probably should while he’s writing.”
“What are you saying?”
“Um, I wonder if he could be having trouble seeing.”
“Oh … OK. No one in my family has vision problems, so I’m not sure how to handle this at his age. I guess I’ll call his pediatrician and see if there’s an ophthalmologist they recommend. How long have you been in glasses?”
She pushes the black frames up her nose.
“Since I was about ten. I remember struggling to read things before that. I’d squint and lean forward a lot, and I’ve noticed the same habits with Liam. It seems like he has trouble seeing far away, so he holds everything close.”
I think about his everyday activities, trying to recall if he’s ever shown those signs, but I’m too stressed to focus.
“I came to tell you that you can leave for the day. I’m packing a picnic for Liam and myself, and then we’re heading to the park. I mean, you’re welcome to join us, but I thought you might prefer to start your weekend early.”
Liam’s head whips my way. “We’re going to the park?”
“Yep. In just a little while.”
Emma grins. “You really wouldn’t mind if I leave?”
“I insist. I feel like I’m spending less time with Liam now that I have so much help with his care. I miss the little one.”
“I’m not little; I’m big now.” He scowls as he stares down at his crayon box, trying to push a blue one into its slot. He pulls the box up near his face, and I witness what Emma was talking about.
Only when he lifts it close to his eyes can he put the crayon inside. I feel terrible for not noticing before. Emma has barely been in his life and already picked up on his poor vision. At least, it appears she could be right in her observation.
“If you’re sure, then I’ll take off.” Strolling back to Liam, Emma holds out her fist. “See you later, Mikey.”
He gives her a fist bump and grins. “Bye, Em.” After she leaves, I find a jacket in his closet, and we walk to Ellis’s office. Liam’s holding his preschool workbook, eager to show him how he traced the numbers.
I remind him to tap on Ellis’s office door instead of barging in, and I can tell the simple act makes him feel older.
“Come in.” Ellis hardly gets the last syllable out before Liam pushes through the door and runs to his desk. “Boss, look what I did.”
It’s as if Ellis’s tired eyes refresh in seconds. They widen like his grin before he lifts Liam up and sets him on his lap.
“Let me see what you’re working on here. Numbers…” His eyes examine the page. “Good work, kid. Next week, a new friend is coming over. He’s going to teach you how to speak another language … Italian.”
Ellis looks over at me. “I wouldn’t normally suggest starting with Italian, but seeing how he has it in his blood, I think we should give it a try. I also think he needs an evaluation by a speech therapist. Shouldn’t he be pronouncing some of his letters more clearly?”
“Are you saying I should’ve noticed he needs speech therapy?”
He gives me a puzzled look. “I didn’t say that, nor was I implying such a thing. I’m not even sure he needs it.”
I exhale my frustration. “I’m sorry. Emma suggested Liam get his vision checked, so when you said he needed his speech evaluated, it made me feel like a bad mother.” Tears wash over my irises.
“Momma, you’re not bad.”
“No, she’s not. She’s an awesome mother.”
Squirming his way out of Ellis’s lap, Liam runs over to me and wraps his arms around my legs. “Mother, you’re awesome.”
Ellis leans his head back in laughter, and I can’t hide my smile.
“So, I’m mother now, huh?”
Giggling, Liam turns back to face him.
“Wanna come with us to the park?”
“Isn’t it almost lunch time?”
“We’re going to have a picnic at the park,” I say. “You can join us if you’d like.” I yearn for time alone with Liam, but I would never exclude Ellis. He glances to his watch and grumbles.
“I wish I could, but I have a conference call at one.” He finds his smile for Liam. “I’ll go to the park next time. OK, Mikey?”
“OK. Can we go now, Mother? Can we?” He jumps up and down.
“It’s Momma, and yes we can go.”
“Take Mitch to the park with you, too, and tonight we can discuss what a great mother you are.”
Smiling, I try to convey through my gaze the affection I hold for him. He surprises me more every day.
“We’ll talk tonight.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Camilla
We’re at City Park, about a mile east of downtown Denver. I shield my eyes from the sun as Liam goes down the green slide. He hops to his feet, stomping the brown mulch below.
“Momma, I wanna do it again, but all by myself.”
“Sure, but I’m going to stand next to the ladder as you climb it.” I watch as he carefully takes the steps to the wooden platform that leads him to the slide.
Once he’s at the top, I recall we’re not alone and glance to the tree close by that Mitch is leaning against. His arms are crossed, and he’s eyeballing the area intently. Remembering Liam, I rush around to the front to watch him slide down.
“I’m gonna do it again by myself.” He grins up at me but quickly looks to the ground because of the sun blinding his eyes.
“One more time, and then we’re having our picnic.” He’s a little braver this time as he climbs the steps. He grabs a glimpse at me over his shoulder and gives a serious look.
“I have to be carefawl 'cause Boss isn’t here to catch me.”
“Yes, that’s right, so look up at the steps.” He slides for the tenth time before I take his hand and walk toward Mitch, where the picnic basket and blanket are resting next to his feet.
; As we approach him, he uncrosses his arms and stands straight. His golden-blond hair couldn’t get any shorter, yet he runs a hand over it, anyway.
“Is he worn out yet?” he asks. The earthy tones in his hazel eyes blend in with the scenery, and much like the trees, he’s tall and stout.
“Not in the least, but I insisted on a break.” Picking up the tan blanket, I spread it out and set the picnic basket on top of it. Liam drops to his knees, panting.
“I’m thirrssttyy.” I open the wicker basket Irene loaned me and pull out a bottled water that’s still cool from the ice pack it was pressed against.
“Here you go.” Picking up another, I hold it out to Mitch. “I brought one for you, too, and a sandwich.”
He holds a hand up like he’s stopping me.
“No, thank you.”
“Please ... at least drink a water.” Cracking a faint smile, he takes the plastic bottle from me.
“Thanks.” I dig in the basket again to find our turkey sandwiches.
“Chris!” Liam exclaims. I look up, and Christopher is walking toward us, flaunting a grin. Mitch repositions his body to where we’re directly behind him. Once Chris is closer and he recognizes him, his shoulders relax and he steps aside.
“Hi, Mitch.”
“Hi,” he replies in a protective tone.
“I came to see Camilla and my favorite buddy.” Mitch watches his every move as Chris steps on the blanket. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his khakis.
“Is everything OK?” I ask.
“Irene told me where you were going, so since I had some errands to run, I thought I’d stop by.”
“I went down the slide this many times.” Liam holds both hands up and spreads his fingers open.
“Wow, I wish I’d seen that,” Chris replies.
“Have you had lunch yet?” I ask.
“No.”
“Then sit. I have an extra turkey sandwich.” Christopher takes a seat on the blanket, and I hand him a sandwich and a bottled water.
Fishing out a container of grapes and carrot sticks, I open it and rest it between the three of us. It’s awkward having Mitch stand guard, but I’m not sure what I could do about it.
“Did Ellis know you were stopping by?” I ask, already sure of the answer.
“No. I imagine he’ll find out, but I don’t care. I never get to talk to you anymore. I miss hanging out with you and Liam.” He grabs the top of my kiddo’s tennis shoe and shakes it.
“Yeah, things sure have changed,” I mumble.
“How are you handling it?”
“Good, I guess.”
“I heard about Tony’s will.”
“What did you hear?”
“That he left his estate to Ellis. I’m disappointed in Tony. Even if he didn’t wish to see Liam, he should’ve left him money for his future. I never understood how he could sit by and allow you to struggle.”
I want to ask him if he ever spoke up for me and Liam to get Tony to provide for his son, but I fear I’d be hurt by his answer. I suspect Christopher had one motive only–to keep us to himself.
“What’s done is done. He obviously wanted Ellis to have it instead.”
Chris looks to Mitch and back at me.
“Do you think we could have a minute alone?” he asks me under his breath. I weigh his question and look to Mitch.
“Mitch, I’m sorry to ask this, but could you give us some privacy for a few minutes?”
“Sure.” His glare at Chris doesn’t go unnoticed before he strolls off and scans the area again.
“We shouldn’t be talking like this. Ellis wouldn’t approve since he knows how you feel about…”
“How I feel about you?”
Staring at my sandwich, I pick at the corner of it, creating crumbs.
“Yeah, that.”
“Momma, there are big birds over there.” Liam points toward a few geese creeping closer to us.
“Yep. Those are geese. Maybe we can toss them a few pieces of our bread when we’re finished.”
“Have you thought about challenging the will?”
“It had crossed my mind, but I’ve decided against it.”
I brave a look at Chris, and he scowls.
“Why would you do that? You should get that money for Liam. Ellis is unpredictable. He could suddenly move you out, and then what? You need to fight for it now before it’s too late.”
“Slow down, Chris, and watch what you’re saying in front of Liam. He tends to repeat things, and he’s understanding more every day.” I look to Liam, but he’s distracted by the geese.
“Tell me why you won’t do it.”
“I have my reasons, but I can’t share them with you.”
“You owe it to Liam to get that money.”
“Please drop it. I’m trying to give my mind a break from all the drama.”
“Have you forgiven me?”
Biting on my lip, I stare off at Mitch, who’s roaming around nearby.
“I was angry with you in the beginning, but I’m not anymore. I’ve kept secrets of my own, and we know what Ellis did to me initially. None of us are perfect, so it doesn’t seem fair to punish you when you were always good to Liam and me.”
Grabbing my hand, he gives it a squeeze, so I look back at him.
“Thank you, Cammy. I can’t tell you what that means to me. Please let me spend time with you and Liam. Ellis doesn’t have to know about it. We could pick times to meet when he’s busy.”
“I can’t hide it from him, and you say we’ll hang out as friends, but we’re already talking about personal stuff, like Tony’s estate. I have a feeling you’ll cross a line.”
“I won’t.” He shakes his head, but his lack of eye contact isn’t convincing.
“Ellis is never going to go for it when he knows how you feel.”
“You say that like you need his permission.”
“It’s about respecting our relationship. I wouldn’t want him spending alone time with a woman who had romantic feelings for him, so he deserves the same consideration in return.”
“Did you ever consider that Ellis could be doing all this so you don’t go after Tony’s money? Caring for you and Liam is pocket change compared to Liam inheriting Tony’s millions.”
“No, that thought never crossed my mind, and it doesn’t matter; Liam can’t have the money.”
My little one pats my leg. “I’m done and want to pway on the swings.”
“OK, sweetie.” I yank my hand away from Christopher.
“Why can’t you get the money for Liam?” He’s squinting in confusion, and he needs to drop it. I can’t tell him it’s because Tony isn’t Liam’s father.
“Look, I came here to spend time with my kid. You’re welcome to stay and play with him, too, but we’re done talking about this.”
“Fine. Will you think about spending time with me?”
I sigh. “I’ll talk to Ellis, but I guarantee it’s futile.”
“He’s known you for five seconds in comparison to our years together. I deserve time with you.”
“As friends…”
“Right.” Sliding a hand along his dark hair, he brandishes a devilish smile, confirming why we can’t spend time together. It’s going to be hard enough to do damage control on the stunt he pulled today. My phone vibrates in my pocket from a text message, so I pull it out.
Ellis: Do you think Liam would be afraid of climbing after our fall?
Me: Trust me, he’s over his fear. Why?
Ellis: My maintenance guys are headed to the hardware store to buy a jungle gym kit for Liam. I’m having one built in the backyard, but I started wondering if he would be afraid of it.
Me: I can’t get over your sweetness.
Ellis: You can get over it by getting under me–in my bed–tonight. I’m feeling all better and more than ready to fuck you hard.
Blushing, I swallow and send the emoji that makes an O face. Fumbling with my phone, I shove it back in my pocket. Ha
ving gained some clarity, I sit up straight and look at Christopher.
“Since you want more than a friendship with me, I’m not hanging out with you unless Ellis is present. Now, if you want to go push Liam on the swing, I’m sure he’d love that. Then, I think you should go.”
As if Mitch can sense the tension, he starts heading back toward us. Annoyed, Christopher shakes his head and stands.
“Come on, Liam. Want me to push you on the swing?” Clapping, Liam forgets about the geese he’s been trying to throw crumbs at and jumps to his feet.
“Yay!” With the brightest grin on his face, he grabs Chris’s hand and beams up at him. Even through his frustration, Christopher finds his smile, and their sweet moment leaves me once again conflicted. How do I find an appropriate compromise to this bizarre situation?
CHAPTER FIVE
Camilla
After using Ellis’s ginormous bathroom, I trade places with him and sit on the side of his bed. Becoming fidgety, I play with the hem of my short red chemise and examine the dark mahogany frame surrounding me.
Like his bathroom, it’s massive, and I feel it could swallow me whole as my mind dwells on the incident with Christopher at the park.
With the door open between Ellis and me, I hear the sink turn on, and my mind reaches the conclusion that if my confession is barely audible over the running water, the impact on him and the backlash on me will be less intense.
“I have something to tell you,” I blurt out.
“What’s that?” He starts brushing his teeth, so I feel as if the safety belt is buckled, protecting me from an oncoming collision.
“Christopher dropped by the park today to spend time with Liam … and me.”
Water off.
Spit next.
The sound of a ping as his toothbrush connects with the marble vanity.
Oh, damn. Brace for impact.
He appears at the doorway, so I take a glimpse at his blue eyes that are iced over with anger.
“What happened exactly?”
