A Love Worth Searching For

by Kathleen Ball

  A Love Worth Searching For

  Oregon Trail Dreamin’ Book Three

  Kathleen Ball

  Copyright © 2018 by Kathleen Ball

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Created with Vellum

  Thank you to everyone who made it possible for me to get this book written. Thank you Bruce Ball, Steven Ball, Kate Springsteen Tate, Sheri McGathy, Jean Joachim and Vicki Locey.

  And as always this book is dedicated to Bruce, Steven, Colt, Clara and Emmie because I love them.

  Contents

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  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Epilogue

  The End

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  Chapter One

  Jed Todd reined in sharply and his horse skidded to a stop outside a decrepit trapper’s shack. His hands shook as he vaulted to the ground and burst into the cabin. Inside were two trappers he was well acquainted with. Hinds and Shooter were the old type of trappers, good ones who didn’t take too much or ruin the land; not like the newer ones, who were greedy and didn’t care about the scars they left on the land. Jed cocked his brow at them and Hinds nodded toward the bedroom.

  “She won’t let us in. I have to leave the food outside the door.” Hinds shook his head, sending the shock of dark curly hair that hung to his shoulders and the matching beard flying.

  Jed’s breath was caught in his throat when he went to the door and knocked. No answer came. He tapped again, a bit softer. “Lily, it’s me, Jed Todd.” Still there was silence. “Lily, I was on the wagon train when you were taken by the Indians. I’ve been searching high and low for you ever since.”

  “You can break the door down if you like,” Shooter said. Even with his long gray hair tied neatly at his nape, he was the more fearsome looking of the two with his piercing black eyes. “We just didn’t want to frighten her. You got here fast.”

  “I’m leading a wagon train and we happened to be at Fort Laramie when you sent word.” He turned back to the door. “Lily, I need to know you’re all right. Please open the door. Hinds and Shooter may look mean, but they are harmless.” Jed smiled when he heard one of the men grumbling. They’d both earned their reputations by killing grizzlies. “Maybe if you just opened the door a crack I can come in there.”

  He wasn’t sure what to do next. Thankfully, the door opened. With a sigh of relief, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Lily had her back against the far corner with a knife in her hand. Her expression was stony, and he was sure she’d run him through with the knife if given a reason. Her blond hair hung in two braids, and it looked as though mud was layered on it. She wore full buckskins and moccasins, and her face sported a deep scratch on the side of her neck. Anger shot through him, but he kept his expression placid.

  “I’m glad you’re back. I’ve searched and searched for you. I was beginning to give up hope and,” he spread his hands, palms up, “here you are. It’s so good to see you. Mike, Susan and Eli will be thrilled to hear you’re safe.”

  “Not safe, never safe. What about my mother? Won’t she be glad to have her daughter back?”

  Her eyes narrowed; he couldn’t tell if she was afraid or she just wanted to skin him alive. “Your mother never made it to Oregon. We buried her and said some prayers over her.” Helplessness washed over him. “I’m sorry.”

  Her body sagged into the corner for a moment, and then she stood up straight. “You shouldn’t have wasted your breath on prayers. God doesn’t listen. I should know, I tried to pray for days, weeks, years but nothing.”

  “You’re here now,” Jed said gently.

  “Only because I was traded for horses and animal pelts. I belong to the two men out there now.” Her nostrils flared. “If they try to touch me I will kill them or die trying. I refuse to belong to anyone again.” She lifted her chin up in defiance.

  She had guts. He didn’t see the sweet softness of the young girl he knew but she’d survived, and that was all that mattered. “You don’t belong to them. They bought you for me.”

  Her jaw dropped. “You own me now?” Her eyes flashed with anger and pain.

  “No, of course not. I just wanted you back. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I wish I could have prevented your kidnapping.”

  “They would have killed you. I’ve often been glad you weren’t there. They’d been tracking us for two days. A Sioux warrior named Chayton decided he needed to steal me like a prized horse. I’d thought life on the trail was harsh but it was luxury compared to how I’ve lived in the last few years.” She glanced away and then back at him. “What are you going to do with me?” Her voice softened.

  “Set you free. Make sure you’re all right. I hadn’t really thought past finding you. I do want you with me so I can protect you.” His gaze met hers and they stared at each other for a bit. Hers was a gaze of suspicion and he hoped his was one of reassurance.

  “I will not be your squaw. I will not lie with you. I’m much changed from the stupid, weak child I was. I am strong and cunning and I am a woman. Jed, perhaps you don’t want to own me after all. I’m not full of shy smiles, and I don’t feel any friendship in my heart for anyone. My heart has grown cold like a heavy rock on a winter’s day.”

  Jed nodded. He’d expected crying, hysterics even, and a gratefulness to be free. She was right she was no longer the sweet child he knew. It didn’t matter; he’d sworn over two years ago he’d find her and help her. He’d pictured a wonderful reunion and bringing her back to Oregon with him but now he was off kilter and wasn’t as confident in his ability to help her.

  “I’ll do whatever I can for you. Whatever you want. Susan wants you in Oregon with her.”

  Lily smiled ever so briefly. “Yes, Susan is a kind woman.”

  “She’s made my brother very happy. It’s too late in the day to start out. Would you like me to heat some water for you? I bet they have a washtub you could bathe in.”

  Her brow furrowed. “Those two wash?”

  Jed laughed. “Probably not often. I’ll get the water heating. You can come and join us in the other room if you’d like.”

  “No, I need some time alone.”

  He nodded and left the room. He’d thought the hard part would be finding her, but he had a feeling the hard part was just beginning.

  Lily sat on the bed and shook her head. Jed Todd. She’d thought of him often at first but then she had pushed her old life out of her heart and refused to think of the past. It made things easier for her. A bath would be lovely, but she didn’t have clean clothes to wear. She was sad about her mother, but now was not the time to mourn. She didn’t have any tears anyway. Tears were a sign of weakness, and if she’d learned anything, she’d learned to be brave even if her body was shaking in fear.

  He looked very handsome with his sky
blue eyes and his rich soil-colored hair. He’d grown too. His shoulders were those of a man, and the mischievous look he used to wear was gone. He had a confidence he had lacked before. He’d grown into a fine man it seemed.

  Jed opened the door and set the wash tub inside. “Sorry I didn’t knock but this thing is heavy. I managed to find a clean towel and a bit of soap. I’ll admit the soap is mine. These two don’t have a sliver between them.”

  She smiled unintentionally and quickly stopped. “Thank you. The soap is much appreciated.” Her words didn’t flow as they had before. They were more halting with a pause in between them. She had learned the language of the Sioux, and the English language wasn’t coming naturally —it felt foreign on her tongue. It’d get better in time, she suspected.

  Jed brought in one pail of heated water after another. She wasn’t sure how to act, so she kept a stony impassive look on her face. It was best to keep your feelings to yourself. A face full of expression often got slapped. She’d learned that the hard way.

  “If you need anything just call,” Jed said. He gave her an assessing look before he left, closing the door behind him.

  She’d become suspicious of everything. She slowly walked to the water-filled tub and stared at it. What she expected to find, she didn’t know. The water was clean and clear with a bit of steam rising from it. It was so inviting and she quickly took off her clothes. She stepped into the big washtub and sat down. Sitting very still, she relished the feel of the heated water.

  Then, with a burst of energy, she grabbed the soap and began to wash herself. Real soap was a luxury. She scrubbed herself three times trying to get all the dirt off, and she cringed when she gazed at the scar on her thigh. It wasn’t good to remember bad things. Next, she unbraided her long hair. The Sioux had made her put mud on her hair to hide the fact that she was white. She’d also had to hide whenever traders came to the village.

  The water was turning black so she stood in the tub and lathered the soap in her hair then bent to rinse it. It would have to do. She stepped out and dried herself, dreading putting on her dirty buckskins. But, having no choice, she sighed as she pulled them on. Maybe someday she’d wear clothes befitting a white woman.

  Jed Todd. A smile tugged at her lips knowing he was in the next room. He’d been in her dreams too often, and try as she might to be rid of him, he kept appearing. He was a familiar face. A handsome face indeed.

  There was a knock on the door and she called for Jed to come in.

  A slow smile spread across his face and lit his eyes.

  “You look lovely. I’m so relieved to have finally found you. I’m the captain of a wagon train and I’d like to take you with me.”

  “You’re the captain? What about Eli? Did something happen to him?”

  Jed shook his head. “No, amazingly he found himself a wife. If you’d asked me before it all happened, I would have said Eli would be a bachelor for life.”

  “What’s she like?”

  “She’s pretty and she has a lot of grit. She’d been beaten by people she thought were her parents, and she ended up with a limp. They tried to leave her behind at a river crossing but Eli wasn’t about to let that happen. She was shy and expected to be hit but now she’s a confident woman any man would be proud to have by his side.”

  She studied him. “You like her.”

  “As a sister, sure I do. Yep, my brothers did well for themselves. Both picked hard-working women. I’ve seen plenty of pretty women who aren’t so pretty on the inside. I’m heading to Fort Laramie in the morning, and I’d be honored if you’d come with me.” He stared at her until she looked away.

  “Philámayaye, uhm...thank you. Yes, I’d like to be as a sister to you too. I’ll be ready on the morn. I hope I’ll be sleeping alone tonight?”

  His brow furrowed. “Did Hinds or Shooter expect to sleep with you?”

  “They were gentlemen. I just didn’t know with you owning me and all.”

  “Lily, look at me. You will never have cause to be afraid of me. I promise.”

  Her pounding heart slowed. “I will keep you to your promise. I’m going to get some sleep. Jed, thank you for coming for me.”

  He grinned. “I’m just glad I didn’t have to fight any Indians to get you back. Sleep well.” He left the room, closing the door behind him.

  Lily lay in the bed. It felt strange to sleep on something so soft. For the first time in years, she felt safe going to bed. Soon she drifted off.

  “That little gal’s been through a lot,” Hinds said.

  “She don’t seem too far gone,” Shooter noted in a grim tone. “Not like some I’ve seen.”

  “What do you mean by far gone?” Jed asked.

  “Lots of times women are out of their minds by the time they’re rescued. It depends on what role they played in the tribe. Some captives became slaves while others become part of a family and part of the tribe. Then there are the ones that are tortured. I’m hoping they thought Lily to be young enough to be part of a family,” Shooter explained.

  Jed sat down at the table and accepted a glass of whiskey. He took a big swig. “Tortured?”

  “We’ve heard plenty from survivors. They’re usually tied and left outside for a while. Then there is the gauntlet they need to run.”

  “What’s a gauntlet?” Jed asked.

  The tribe forms two lines and they all have sticks. One by one the captives must run through and make it to the end. They’re beaten with the sticks, tripped, pinched, and slapped while they run through. Those who don’t make it have to run again. From what I’ve seen, it’s very painful. Even the toughest of men fail to make it the first time. If you refuse or continue to fail your life could be forfeit.” Hinds raised his arms over his head and stretched. “I think I’ll get some shut-eye.”

  Jed and the other two men rolled out their bedrolls. Soon the cabin was filled with the sounds of the other two snoring. Jed frowned at the racket. He kept picturing Lily and hoped the transition back to the white world would be an easy one.

  The next morning he was up before the sun. He made coffee and eggs and gently knocked on the bedroom door. He grasped the latch when Lily jerked it open.

  “Good morning,” he said. Suspicion was back in her eyes.

  “Ready to go? How far are we from the fort?”

  “We’ll eat first, and we’re about a half day’s ride away from Fort Laramie. Smitty will hold the wagon train there for a few days. I told him if I didn’t come back in two days to keep going and I’d catch up.”

  Recognition flickered in her eyes, and she nodded. “Smitty is still with you? It’ll be good to see him.”

  “He’s still with me. We hired a few new men to take Mike and Eli’s places. So far the group hasn’t caused any major problems, and we haven’t had any incidents.”

  “Good. Let’s eat. I want to get going as soon as possible.”

  After breakfast, Jed paid the trappers for the horses and livestock they’d traded for Lily. “How will you two get around without horses?”

  Hinds laughed. “Let’s just say that the Cavalry ain’t horse savvy. The horses just end up here. Wish we had one for Lily to ride, but she’s light enough you can ride double.”

  “That we can.” He shook both men’s hands and then he and Lily left the cabin. Jed tied his bedroll to the back of the saddle and mounted up. Next, he held out his arm but Lily didn’t grab it. She swung herself up behind him.

  “I’m ready, Jed.” Those were the only words she said the whole ride. He thought about starting a conversation but she probably had a lot on her mind. He was just grateful to have finally found her. She was all in one piece and that was all that mattered. He felt her tense up when the fort came into view. Outside of the fort were numerous teepees with Indians trying to sell or trade their wares. Many of them were Sioux. He rode right on by but sighed with relief when they finally entered the fort. They’d made it.

  Every muscle in her body was on high alert. She’d recogni
zed a few of the Sioux outside. They’d been banned from the tribe she’d been with for trying to overthrow the Chief. They should have known that the Chief had eyes and ears everywhere. He had many loyal followers. The minute he found out, he’d banished them, allowing them to take only the clothes on their backs. They were lucky he didn’t have them killed.

  Now inside, she remained tense. Everyone turned and stared at her and Jed, and most didn’t seem friendly.

  Smitty raced toward them and held out his arms to her. She easily slid down into them and was rewarded with a big hug. Smitty had always been a man of his word. Maybe her fears were for naught.

  She changed her mind within the first five minutes when people surrounded her. They wanted to know if she was Lily Lewis, the woman captured by the Indians when she’d been a child. There were even reporters from newspapers back east. They shouted so many questions at her she became dizzy. Smitty scooped her up and carried her to his wagon.

  “Sorry about that, lass. Curiosity made their manners go away. You surely are a sight for sore eyes. I had my doubts we’d ever see you again, but Jed never once wavered in his belief of finding you. Heard tell you ended up with Hinders and Shooter. Those two old coots are harmless enough.” He turned from her and waved his hand at the crowd. “Get away with ya!” He waited until the last of the strangers left before he turned back around. “I’ll rustle up some food and coffee for you and Jed. You just rest here.” He didn’t wait for an answer, just hurried away.

  A dark-haired man approached. “My name’s Rex,” he introduced himself. “I work for Jed. I’m not to bother you. I’m just supposed to protect you.”