The Assignment

by Jade A. Waters

  “I know.”

  We sat there unspeaking, me scratching the curve of my wine glass and Selby playing with her fingers.

  “I wish, sometimes—because I love you and worry about you—that you didn’t take things straight to sex all the time. Especially to sex that puts you back in that headspace.”

  “What headspace?”

  “The one you were in with Charlie,” she said.

  “Oh, come on. It’s not the same at all! And it’s not just about sex.”

  “He’s in control, right? How is that different?”

  I sighed. It was vastly different, and so hard to explain. When Charlie dominated, it was out of anger and a complete disregard for my feelings. But that was all Selby knew. It was all she’d seen.

  I threw back my shoulders. “It just is. It’s not intimidation, nor is it every second of every day or meant in such a cruel, terrifying way. He’s nothing like Charlie. He’s wonderful, and what we’re sharing is insane. It’s like explorative lust—”

  “What the hell is that?” Selby’s face reflected pure shock, but she sounded on the verge of laughter.

  “It’s really hot,” I said. I swallowed more of my wine, and she reached out for my hand. “Look, unless you’re in it, there’s no real way to describe it. It is confusing and heavy, and it scares the shit out of me.”

  “That’s what worries me.”

  I pointed at my side. “You were there, Selby. You know the point of my tattoo. It wasn’t only about freedom from my shit relationship. It was so much more.” I fell back in my seat. “I shouldn’t have said anything at all.”

  “Hey, I asked for it. I don’t get it, but I asked.” She closed her hands around mine. “Please be careful. Don’t do anything you’re not sure of, okay?”

  There it was—Selby hitting the million-dollar buzzer.

  I wasn’t sure of what I was doing at all.

  Chapter Eleven

  I was nice and toasty when I left the bar, and there was no way in hell I could drive—but the sudden growl of Dean’s voice in the parking lot ground my buzz to a sobering halt.

  “Maya.”

  The way he said my name was carnal and deep, stopping even Selby in her tracks.

  We were halfway across the lot but we both turned around. Dean stood behind us, his hands crammed into the pockets of his faded jeans. His brows were knitted tighter than I’d seen before, adding to the concerned shadow in his eyes. His distress lifted the hairs on my neck.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to ignore the urges that tore through me in an instant.

  Selby glanced between the two of us, her expression reflecting her protective best friend role and something else I couldn’t place. Was it pride? Happiness?

  What the hell was going on?

  “Alex texted when you were getting your last drink and asked if we were at our regular pub. Dean wanted to come meet you after to make nice.” She peered at Dean, then back to me. “That’s what Alex said.”

  “Christ, Selby!”

  “What?”

  I glared at my friend, though she hadn’t done anything wrong.

  “I didn’t think it was such a big deal. I thought it was sweet,” she said.

  Dean smiled.

  Would she have been as keen on playing matchmaker after hearing what I had to say about Dean?

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t like it hanging in the air the way we left it,” Dean said. He tucked his hands deeper into his pockets, the movement tugging down the waistband of his jeans, making my imagination swoop into the nonsense land it shouldn’t be in.

  And now I’d become the bad guy.

  “Can we talk? I’ll drive you home.”

  “My car is at Selby’s...”

  “We’ll drive it back in the morning,” Selby said. “Or come pick you up. It’s not a big deal.” She gave Dean an inquisitive gaze. I knew it ate at her that she didn’t get this. She probably had a thousand questions.

  “Come on. You can’t drive. This way, Selby can get home to Alex,” Dean said, glancing from her to me, “and we can talk about...whatever.”

  Like she’d made up her mind on Dean and me in a way that satisfied her, Selby threw her arms around me in a hug and smacked a kiss on my cheek. “Great. You kids work it out. I’m going home to my cutie.”

  “But—”

  She spoke in a low voice for only me. “I don’t get it, but I can sense the tension...and the fireworks. Do what you’ve got to do and call me in the morning. Okay? Love you.”

  She bounded to her car while Dean closed the gap between us. His fingers laced with mine, and he cast me that ridiculously sexy grin.

  “Can I take you home, please?”

  “What, now you’ve got a hero complex, too?”

  Dean snickered. “You are so damn mouthy.” He gave me a tug, and I was following him on some invisible string to the other side of the lot. A blend of frustration and wine warmed my cheeks, and though I wobbled on my feet, I knew what I coveted as he led me over the gravel. The realization burned me to the core.

  “Why are you so fucking hot?” I murmured.

  Dean trapped me against his car—his chest on mine, his hips pushing into me. The car was warm on my back in the summer air, and he placed his mouth on mine in a slow, sweet kiss. It almost eased the tension coiling through me, but I was too wrapped up in thoughts of what we were doing, and what it all meant.

  When Dean pulled away, he unlocked the passenger door handle by my thigh. “Get in.”

  I did, buckling my seatbelt as he went around to the driver’s side. Settled in the seat, the effects of the alcohol became more noticeable. Three glasses would have been plenty with my present state of mood, and I’d hit four.

  Dean backed out of the space, his strong, rugged hands working over the steering wheel and gear shift, clutching, sliding and caressing. I crossed my arms, hating how out of control I felt with him. Two feet away like this, the magnet in him drew the heat from my limbs right into my groin.

  “You okay over there?”

  “Yes,” I quipped.

  “Do you want to tell me why you’re upset?”

  “I’m not upset.”

  Dean scoffed in my direction. “I call bluff.”

  I folded my arms over my chest and sank lower into the seat. Somehow, my confusion had culminated in the pout of a five-year-old child, but I couldn’t shake it.

  “Fine. Since you won’t elaborate, I’ll take a guess.”

  I waited.

  “I know you’re not pissed about me pushing anything on you that you haven’t wanted, because that hasn’t happened. But—” he reached a finger across the cab to brush my cheek, “—I think that’s what scares you.”

  Shit.

  How did he get it?

  “Look, I love what we’re doing. I like the idea of experimenting, but maybe the intensity is too much for you,” Dean said.

  “No.”

  He glanced at me, then back at the road. “It’s not?”

  “It is too much, but—” I dug my nails into my arm, “—I like it. It’s just not what I’m used to. And in front of our friends...”

  “That was too far.”

  “It was, yes. They’re not a part of...this. I don’t want it there.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry.” Dean mulled this over. By then we’d pulled off the freeway, cruising in silence for the last few blocks to my house. After Dean parked in front, he unbuckled and rotated to face me head on. “Can I come in?”

  “Yes,” I said, my voice low.

  Dean led me to my door. He kicked off his shoes once we got inside and waited while I stepped out of my flip-flops. I straightened and he took me to my room, where he sat in front of me on th
e edge of my bed. “You know we can stop all of this at any time.”

  “I don’t want to.” The words rang loud and true, but I still felt conflicted.

  Dean grasped my hands, pulling me between his knees and clamping me to his chest. “What’s holding you back? If you want it, why are you afraid of it?”

  It was the strangest sensation, being tapped like this—as if Dean could hear my thoughts and know my needs without me expressing them. “It feels out of control.”

  “You feel out of control,” he said. “That’s what terrifies you.” He ran his hands down my back and cupped the curve of my ass, and when he looked up at me, he nodded. “Then fuck me this time, Maya.”

  The words were gruff, commanding. They wafted into me and took hold of my heart, luring me out.

  Dean released me, his eyes glossy with encouragement, but they never left my face. Not once I grabbed the hem of my shirt, tearing it from my torso. Not when I stripped off my jeans and stood in front of him in my lingerie to cradle his face against my chest. He rained gentle kisses over the swell of my breasts and snuck his tongue beneath the lace edge of my bra, locking his gaze on mine.

  I was so ready for him.

  I reached for Dean’s waist, hooked my finger under the button of his jeans. One button, then two, three, four, the wedge of his cock threatening to burst out at any moment. He kept his hands on his knees in his patient wait. I slid my fingers under his shirt, and he raised his arms, letting me wrestle it over his head. Dean lifted himself and I wrangled his jeans and boxer briefs off him before he sat back down on the edge of my bed. Rigid and dark, his shaft hardened more with the close of my hand around him.

  “Take me.” His eyes bore into me, commanding rather than begging. Heating me to the core.

  I slipped off my panties. Dean kissed my breasts, his arms encircling my back and pressing the top of my ass as I straddled him and lowered myself down. His crown thickened against my folds, and I made the slowest of movements, rubbing myself back and forth.

  “Maya,” he warned.

  “I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

  “And I’ve only been with you.” His voice came out as a croak, and my body coursed with desire.

  “Should I stop?”

  “Never.”

  I curled my arms around his neck, gathering him to my breasts and shifting my hips, wetting his tip. Gradually, I pushed down to anchor him inside my entrance.

  Dean’s chest filled with breath. “Fuck...”

  I sank down, nestling him deep. The pleasure of him there, bare skin on skin and filling me, made me cry out. Dean closed his eyes.

  “More,” he said.

  Using all my leg strength, I lifted myself until he was barely inside me. I made small pulses, entranced by the tortured pants that poured from his lips until his eyes popped open.

  He grabbed my wrists, holding them in place on his neck. “Stay there.”

  “You’re not in charge.”

  His nostrils flared. I ached to move, but I had to show him.

  “You like the tease,” I said. “The control.”

  “I like it all.”

  My legs shook.

  Dean’s grip was snug on my wrists, and when he cinched them tighter he searched my face. “I like you. Feeling you. Taking you.” He gasped as I stayed in place. “I think, deep down, that’s what you like, too.”

  Is it?

  Slowly, I slid down on his cock. The bulk of him made a tremor jolt through my belly, and I rested my forehead against his. When I met his eyes, he spoke again, deeper. Louder.

  “This isn’t what you need.”

  I trembled.

  Dammit.

  I wanted his control. His power.

  Didn’t I?

  “Let me take you, Maya,” Dean said. He caught my lip between his teeth, nibbling it while he guided my wrists behind my back and pinioned them together. The heat between us threatened to take over, and I shuddered. “Let me. Unless you really don’t want—”

  “Yes. I do, yes,” I whispered, caught in this, lost with the nips of his teeth and the throb of his cock. With the way he understood me. I relaxed, and Dean tugged my arms upward behind me, forcing me to move along him. Once he pulled my wrists back toward my ass, the motion shifted me down.

  “Good girl,” he said, running his lips over my breasts. “Now drop.”

  I did, my nerves buzzing. My skin came alive in my grind against his pubic bone. Dean gritted his teeth, clearly doing his best not to thrust when I rode him. Then he jerked on my arms and said, “Up.”

  He was steering me.

  My mind spun already, the sweet fire of orgasm radiating through my core. I did what he asked, what I needed, and pushed into my heels until the ridge of his crown caught the ring of my opening.

  “Stay.”

  The bend in my knees made it almost impossible to hold still.

  Dean took both my wrists into one hand and eased the other one between us. He found our intersection, tracing the seal I’d formed around him with his finger. “This is what I like. You around me. Me in you.”

  “Yes,” I moaned. I ached to sink farther, to take him all the way in. Dean twirled his finger around and around, drawing quiet cries from me, all the while tugging up on my arms so that the angle of my shoulders prevented me from pushing down. “Dean, Dean, Dean... I need you.” I clenched my muscles as he arched his hips and teased my pussy lips with his dick.

  “And I need you.” He loosened his hold on my hands. “Now—down.”

  I dropped. This time the wait had been too long, and my tissues stretched when he thrust. I gasped and he caught my mouth in a kiss, both of us sucking in air. The electricity from our union flared through me and I lost myself in the motion, in the way he banged high inside and raised my arms behind me.

  “That’s it.” He captured my lips, then my nipples, in bites and kisses that cranked the burn. I rode him in wild, breathless heaves, and he groaned, “Show me how you need it.”

  I shoved down. The pleasure bathed me, my cunt spasming around him when I collapsed into his chest with a cry. Dean wrapped his arms around my back. I was blissed out with him inside me, and as he lifted me and slammed me back down, I surrendered once more. He hoisted me up, then down, again and again, impaling me with his length. I shuddered until he brought me down so forcefully a loud curse escaped his mouth.

  “Fuck!”

  He captured me in his arms and filled me in powerful bursts. We trembled together, both of us panting, the evidence of our passion trickling down and over his crotch. And that was how we stayed for an endless stretch of time, me mesmerized by his hold, the heat of his skin and the residual throb of his cock. When Dean opened his eyes, he ran his lips over me in kisses that comforted and soothed.

  Once our sighs subsided, we crawled beneath the covers with no words, both of us sufficiently sated and exhausted, and quick to fall asleep.

  * * *

  Dean left before I woke. Having spent our first two nights together, I tried not to let this bother me. We hadn’t declared ourselves serious enough to be monogamous, even if we weren’t sleeping with anyone else at the moment. But our relationship didn’t make any sense anyway. The usual rules didn’t apply.

  We were exploring, after all.

  I stretched out my legs, replaying the power exchange we’d shared. I had felt out of control when explaining everything to Selby—tipsy and insanely out of control—and I appreciated Dean trying to let me take the lead.

  Of course, there was that detail of him capturing my hands and asking if he could take over, showing me that in fact, he had all the control.

  But that was how I wanted it, too, my body shuddering in an intense orgasm, once again.

  I rolled over in my sheets. H
e’d left a note on the pillow, and I smiled as I read his words:

  Have too much work and had to run, but it should settle down in a week or two. I’m sorry. I’d much rather snuggle with the goddess who blew my mind last night.

  Hoping you’ll run free—truly free—with me soon.

  X-Dean

  P.S. I have your next assignment...are you ready?

  I pressed the note to my chest. How far would he take this assignment thing? He seemed hell bent on making me come out of my shell. Testing me. I was having fun on one hand, but on the other, he’d led me out into a huge jungle of ideas without any warning of the dangers ahead.

  I’d often liked an element of carelessness. How many times had I picked up a stranger at a bar and ended up back at his place, having wild and sometimes risky sex? Selby swore I had a death wish on these occasions, and in truth, there could have been any number of dangers involved. What I shared with Dean was a different experience altogether, both because he was safe thanks to our mutual friends, and because it wasn’t about physical danger. This was about a mental escape, of diving into an emotional headspace I wasn’t used to.

  An emotional surrender.

  Maybe that was what made it terrifying for me. Giving up my fears, my expectations, my judgments. Accepting that beast way down inside me, hoping I’d finally let it out and seize the opportunity.

  I still didn’t know what to make of it, but it turned me on. It also didn’t hurt that Dean was, at his core, a compassionate guy. He’d been so tender, coaxing me, asking to hear my feelings. How could I fault a sexy man who encouraged me to find what drove me?

  I crawled out of bed to get dressed. I needed to call Selby and Alex to get my car.

  And eventually, I should figure out what the fuck I wanted.

  * * *

  “Good morning.” Dean’s voice came through gruffer than usual thanks to the early hour, and I put my coffee tumbler in my cup holder and adjusted my ear piece.

  “Hi there. I’m surprised to hear from you this early.” I’d left my house not ten minutes before, but I was already stuck in the thick of commute traffic on Highway 880. The sun blared off the hoods of cars around me, and though we weren’t stopped, we weren’t moving all that fast, either. “You driving?”