The Years Between Us

by Stephanie Vercier

  She wrenches herself away from me. “No, nothing just happens! This is… this is so fucked up! My dad and my best friend?”

  “You’ve barely been around this summer,” Claudia says, an edge of anger in her voice. “I haven’t really felt much like your best friend.”

  “Oh, so this is my fault now?” She’s stepping further away from us and pacing, and I hate seeing my daughter this upset.

  “Nothing is your fault,” I assure her. “You just need to understand that we never intended to hurt you.”

  “Well, you did, Daddy. You hurt me by fucking my nineteen-year-old best friend! I thought maybe it was David, but it was you! You realize she was a virgin, don’t you?”

  Claudia whips in front of me. “Please don’t make this about your father doing something wrong. He’s ten times the man David could ever be.”

  Dani laughs, shaking her head, tears starting to form. “He’s the one that told me, you know? David. He came over to Carlos’, pissed off and like he was about to burst. Said he ran into Emily Wells, and she told him she saw you two kissing. I told him he was out of his mind, that he was jealous and that Emily was a fucking lying bitch.” She breathes in, looks up at the ceiling like she’s trying to compose herself. “I told him I was sick of his shit and the way he’d treated you”—she looks over to Claudia—“and here he was right about you guys, about what you were doing.”

  I step forward, offering a hand. “Let’s talk calmly and rationally about this. I know it’s going to take time, but—”

  “No.” She shakes her head wildly back and forth. “There is no amount of time that’s going to make this acceptable. Isn’t it enough that my mom is beyond fucked up, that our family tree is worthy of some low class talk show, that I’ve lost—” She stops, closing her eyes.

  I go forward, manage to get hold of her again and pull her close to me. For a few seconds I think it might be okay, that she’ll let me hold her and cry it out, that she’ll settle down enough to hear our side, to one day accept this. I’ve always wanted to be my daughter’s rock, and I don’t want to stop now when she’s hurting the most.

  “I can’t stay here,” she says, pushing me away. “I just… I just can’t.”

  “Danielle.” I’m following her to the door, even putting my hand up against it to hold it closed so she can’t leave, and it’s then that she gives me a look that stabs me right in the heart.

  “Let me go, Daddy. I don’t want to be here.” Her disappointment in me is in her voice, in her eyes, even in the way she tenses her entire body away from me.

  “Where are you going,” I demand. “Carlos’?”

  “Yes… and you can’t stop me.”

  I sigh and step back from the door, knowing I’ll only make it worse by forcing her to stay.

  She turns and looks at Claudia, gives her an only slightly less disgusted look than the one she’d given me. And then she walks out into the night, climbing into her SUV and driving off.

  I just stand there, holding the door open, stunned even though I shouldn’t be. I’ve prided myself on being the best father my daughter could have, holding things together when everything in our family had fallen apart. And now she’s gone. It’s probably just for now, but even the idea of it maybe being forever causes a sick, heavy thud in my gut.

  Claudia’s hand on my shoulder brings comfort, staves off the tears that are so close to coming. She reminds me I’m not alone. I turn, and she’s been crying, but it’s me she wants to offer comfort to. I hold her beautiful face in my hands, look deep into her gorgeous blue eyes, lean forward and kiss her forehead before I drop my hands from her face and pull her body close to mine.

  “I’m so… thankful for you, Claudia.” I tell her, unable to avert my gaze through the still open door, into the dark night my daughter has disappeared into.

  “We’ll get through it together,” Claudia tells me steadfastly, her voice slightly muffled with her cheek against my chest. “It will be messy, but we’ll make it.”

  I have to believe that too because I can’t lose her. I can’t lose Claudia.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  CLAUDIA

  There is no sense in hiding now, and while I would give anything for Danielle to have found out about me and her father from our own mouths instead of from David’s, at least she knows. At least I can wake up in Luke’s arms and not have that twinge of fear that Danielle will come home from being with Carlos all night and happen upon us. But even if that fear still existed, it would be overtaken by the uncertainty I feel about being pregnant and everyone I know in Echo Ridge finding out about Luke and me.

  “I can talk to Rhonda if you want,” Luke tells me, sitting up against the headboard of his bed, stroking my hair and my shoulders, then down along my back while I nuzzle up to his chest. “If you’re worried about going in this morning, I don’t have a problem clearing the air with her.”

  “No, I’d rather do it myself and let you know how it goes. She’ll probably just fire me anyway.”

  “That would be illegal,” he says. “As long as you want to work there, I’ll make sure she doesn’t pull something like that.”

  I rub my hand over the hair covering his chest, then down to his rock hard stomach. Luke’s body is as beautiful as his heart. “If she fires me, it will be because she’s afraid of losing business. If Emily told David, then the entire town is going to know, right?”

  He acquiesces with a look. “Yes, it will likely spread. But I think it’s better this way, Claudia. We couldn’t just keep this between you and I forever.”

  I don’t know if it’s better. I guess I’d have wanted more time to reveal things in our own way instead of it coming out like some kind of small town scandal. “Well, I am glad we don’t have to hide,” is what I settle on telling him.

  “We should tell your parents too,” he says. “I’d like to tell your father myself, and I don’t know if I should do it by phone or wait until they come back from Florida.”

  I feel a sudden jolt of terror. “They can’t know!”

  “They’ll find out eventually.” His brow furrows, and he holds me tighter to him, his eyes meeting mine. “Having it sprung on Dani like that wasn’t at all the way I wanted that to go down. I don’t want the same thing repeated with your parents.”

  “I don’t want them to know, Luke,” I insist. “Let me convince them to let me stay until the end of the summer first, okay? By then, it might be too late for an abortion, and—”

  “Wait… you think they’d force you to have one?”

  Luke doesn’t know my parents beyond his phone conversations with them and that brief meeting they had at WSU. “I feel like if I want to have this baby… our baby, my mom won’t allow it. If I let them get into my head, they’ll make me get rid of it. I just know that’s what they’ll do.”

  “I’d never let that happen as long as you wanted it, and you’re an adult, Claudia,” he tells me as though we’re dealing with two very rational people.

  But I know better. I’ve seen the things my parents are capable of when they set their minds to winning.

  “There are only so many things they’re willing to give me leeway on,” I begin, trying to explain, “like my choice of major, my not wanting to go to Florida, but a baby? There’s just no way they could accept it. You have to trust me on that, Luke.”

  He lets out a frustrated sigh. “You don’t think I’d protect you, advocate for you?”

  “I don’t think you’d get the chance. Like I said, you just don’t know them like I do.”

  “What if we get married?”

  I smile at the sweetness of his suggestion, my heart skipping a beat. “I’m barely ready for a baby,” I tell him, knowing I have to be realistic and not get swept up into a fantasy. “And it wouldn’t matter if we were married or not. They’d still manage to get to me, and whatever choice you and I want to make would be taken away from us.”

  I can sense Luke’s frustration even without seeing it on
his face. “So, we do everything we can to keep you here until the end of summer… that’s what you want?”

  “Yes. I think it’s the only way if we want to get through this… and be together.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do,” he says like he’s giving in, putting his large hand over my stomach and kissing me.

  With his agreement, I can be optimistic about our future.

  But it doesn’t mean my parents won’t somehow find out. It doesn’t mean they still won’t get to me. The only thing I can do right now is hope.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  CLAUDIA

  Luke drives me into town, then walks me to the door of The Nut Monger. I let myself in, and he kisses me sweetly on the lips.

  “You call me if you need me, okay? Otherwise I’ll be here to pick you up at the usual time.”

  “I will.” I give him one more kiss because it feels good to be able to do it without fearing someone seeing us, and when he wraps an arm around my back, his hand ending up on my rear, I’m wishing we were back in his bed. “I better get to work,” I tell him because a girl can only resist a guy like Luke for so long.

  “I’ll see you later. Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  I head behind the counter, turn on all the lights and the computer, check for any deliveries that might be coming today and then go about walking through the store, dusting shelves that probably don’t need it and then running a sweeper through. It’s quiet for the first hour, but when a tourist bus rolls through town, the small shop is inundated with a steady stream of people who load up on nut cheeses and ice creams, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, salt-and-sugar-crusted almonds and the practically endless other varieties of flavored nuts that keep the cash register incredibly busy. All of the activity takes my mind away from things, makes me think less about Danielle’s reaction and the fact that surely half the town knows about Luke and myself. During brief, quiet moments, I’m actually able to think about living a normal life, one where I can envision having a child and still accomplishing everything I want, believing it will be possible as long as Luke is at my side.

  It’s not until the early afternoon when Rhonda comes in, when I see a look of concern on her face, that I’m drawn back into what Luke and I are likely to become in this small town—a scandal. I strengthen my resolve, deciding that whatever comes, I’ll deal with it, that if Rhonda needs to let me go, I’ll understand.

  “We’ve been busy,” she says with a smile, half eyeing a group of older men and women heading out the door with bags full of several hundred dollars worth of merchandise. “If those tourist buses keep rolling through, it’s going to be a good week.”

  “One of the women mentioned she’d be telling her friends about this place,” I tell Rhonda as she joins me behind the counter. I’m starting to feel hopeful we’ll keep our discussion just to business.

  “That’s what I love to see. When I first opened this place, you couldn’t pay people to come in. It takes time.” Then she puts her hand on mine, her expression serious, and I just know I’m not going to be able to evade discussing my relationship with Luke. “Honey, are you okay?” She lifts her eyebrows.

  “I’m fine.”

  Her smile is one of empathy, one in which I don’t think she believes me. “You know how much I treasure you. If not for your help, I’d be run ragged here unless I could have found someone as good as you, which I really do doubt.”

  “Thanks, Rhonda.”

  “And it’s because I treasure you that I have to ask… are you feeling safe with Luke Prescott?”

  My heart falls in disappointment, even though I knew this was coming. “Very safe. He’s been wonderful.”

  She eyes me carefully. “Things are being said around town, Claudia, and if you’ve been pressured into a relationship with him, I hope you’d tell me. I could help you.”

  I wonder if she’d be offering me the same assistance if it was about her son. It’s what I’d like to ask, but I don’t because I need Rhonda, and I need this job if I’m going to stay out the summer in Echo Ridge.

  “I appreciate that,” I begin, not wanting to push back with more accusations, “but I’m an adult, and what Luke and I have is based on mutual respect. He’s not doing anything wrong, and neither am I.”

  She pauses, takes a deep breath. “I’m not sure his daughter will see it that way. You and she are good friends.”

  We were, and I hope we still can be. “The last thing we want is to hurt Danielle, but I’m not going to apologize for what I have with Luke. He makes me happy, Rhonda. He’s sweeter than any guy I’ve ever met before, and he respects me, and I won’t be made to feel bad because he’s a few years older than I am.”

  She settles on one of the stools behind the counter and relaxes somewhat. “He’s a catch—I won’t deny that. But he’s burned through more than a few women since that divorce of his. Emily was one of those women, and I’m not sure she’d be singing as many praises about him as you are.”

  “Is that why she was trying to get back with him?” I ask, knowing full well by the few interactions I witnessed between she and Luke that that’s exactly what she’d wanted.

  Rhonda takes a moment. “You’re likely right on that account. I’m not going to go as far as saying she’s a woman scorned, but I’m not sure she feels great about being passed over for someone nearly half her age.”

  I’ve never really thought my age had anything to do with Luke’s attraction to me. In fact, I’d have had more faith from the get go if I’d been older and more experienced. And I still feel that way sometimes, like I’m way behind the curve, like I’m experiencing all these firsts that Luke already knows like the back of his hand.

  “It’s not an age thing,” I tell her. “And as far as I know, she and Luke had been broken up for months before I even came into the picture.”

  “True enough.” She hops back off the stool and walks around to the other side of the counter. “I’m going to feel in the middle here for a while. Emily is a friend, and my son had a pretty big crush on you. But I’m not going to let this affect you working here.”

  “Even if we lose customers?” I’m grateful to her, even if I think her keeping me on is probably the right thing to do.

  She waves that idea away with a quick swat of her hand. “Most of our customers are tourists, and if anyone refuses to shop here because my employee is in love, then I don’t want their business anyway. And as long as Luke is treating you well, as long as you don’t feel forced or pushed into something you don’t want, then I’ll cheer you on, okay?”

  Wow. I’d hoped for understanding, but I hadn’t expected this level of support.

  “Okay,” I say, slipping around the counter and giving her a giant hug. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome!” she says laughing. “I’m going to head home and do some gardening, but I’ll be back before your shift is over. You let me know if you need anything in the meantime, won’t you?”

  “I will.” There is a well of emotion in me, feeling as though I have at least one ally in this town other than Luke.

  I’m euphoric for a while, humming and going about the store re-organizing products and taking note of the items that will need re-stocking. It’s only when I start to think of my mother that my steps become heavier, my mood darker. She won’t understand like Rhonda does, and my father might be even worse.

  I suppose life is like that—if you have something good, you’re bound to have something bad too.

  That’s how it balances out.

  “Have you heard from Dani?” It’s the first thing Luke asks when he picks me up from work.

  I’d waited outside for him, deciding I wanted to give Rhonda a few more days to let our relationship settle before she came face to face with him.

  “I figured I’d give her some time,” I tell him once we’re back in his truck.

  “I can’t get a hold of her.” He looks distraught, tense.

  “She’s ju
st upset.” I place my hand on his arm. “Luke, look at me.” When he does, I slide a hand over to the side of his bearded face. “She just needs a couple of days to come to terms with everything.”

  “I don’t know,” he says, looking down. “I even drove over to Carlos’… you can imagine his mother wasn’t too happy to see me, but she said they weren’t there, that they’d gone off on some trip together. Where the hell would they go?”

  “She probably just needed to get away,” I assure him. It hasn’t even been one full day, and he’d seemed so resilient this morning, like everything was going to work out fine, like Danielle would come around. But I guess he needs to hear from her, just to know she’s safe. That’s what a parent wants from a child—at least that’s what Luke wants. I’d already texted both of my parents today to check in and hadn’t heard back from either of them—no surprise there.

  “Without even telling me?” he goes on. “I thought she told me everything.”

  It’s then that I’m hit with the reality that she doesn’t tell him everything. She hadn’t told him that she and Carlos were thinking of eloping and living as man and wife in secret. Danielle wanted to prove to her dad that she could get married young like he did but that her marriage to Carlos would last, unlike the one between her parents. I’m still so in the dark about all of that, about Luke and his ex-wife and all of what his continued relationship with her entails. But it’s not something I want to think about right now. Right now, it just has to be about me and Luke.

  “Daughters keep secrets from their parents, Luke. Look at the one I’m keeping from mine.”

  “I know, but—” He shakes his head, seeming to understand that regardless of how good a father he’s been, Danielle is still going to want to live life on her own terms.

  “I’ll try to text her,” I offer when he finally starts the truck up and we start on our way out of town. “And if that doesn’t work, we have mutual friends at WSU she might be more willing to talk to.”