The Years Between Us

by Stephanie Vercier

  “And where is Luke at the moment?” She looks around the house, as if expecting he’ll appear at any second.

  “He went into town… to the store to get things for dinner. I can call him and ask him to get enough for four.”

  “That might be good,” Carlos says, his face kind and friendly.

  “No… no… we won’t be staying,” Danielle disagrees. “We just have something to tell him, and then we’re going back to Carlos’.”

  It’s then that I notice the ring on her finger, a small diamond ring fused to a band. There’s a band on Carlos’ finger as well.

  “You got married?” My first instinct is to rush forward and congratulate them, to give Danielle a hug, but she won’t want that, and so I stop myself.

  She lifts her hand and wiggles her fingers, admiring the rings. “I told you I was going to, didn’t I?” And then her eyes shift down and back to me, and I can tell by the look of surprise in her eyes that she sees my ring, the one I wear every waking moment that I’m here at Luke’s house.

  “Danielle,” I begin, not knowing what else to say beyond her name or how to make this entire thing less awkward.

  She just stares at me, and then the door opens behind us, Luke walking in. He’s not shocked at seeing them, as he surely saw her Rover outside, but he does set the bag of groceries down and walks over to his daughter, practically begging for her to hug him.

  “Daddy,” she says in a voice so low I can barely hear her as she clutches tighter to Carlos.

  “I’ve been worried about you,” he says, anger, concern and love all mixed together in his voice. “You’re okay? You come back for good?”

  “I’m married, Daddy,” she says, showing him the rings but making no move to embrace him.

  Luke freezes.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t ask your permission first, Luke… uh, Mr. Prescott,” Carlos says in a subdued tone.

  “Danielle can make her own choices,” Luke says with a firm kind of resolve, though I can see the hurt and surprise in his eyes. “But I would have liked to have been there. I would have liked to have given you away,” he tells his daughter.

  “The way you expect Claudia’s dad will give her away?” She sounds so smug as she says it, her intent being to hurt him.

  Luke looks over at me with an immediate understanding that Danielle knows about our engagement. “Yes,” he says. “I’d very much like her parents to be involved, to be supportive. I don’t want what Claudia and I have to affect her other relationships.” He keeps an eye on his daughter, and I know what he’s trying to tell her, that he wants she and I to be friends again as much as he wants to mend their own relationship.

  “You can’t always get what you want,” she says.

  “Did you do this for the right reasons?” he asks, allowing some anger to filter through. “You two get married because you wanted to or for something else?”

  I’d been thinking the same thing. Danielle had told me she wanted to prove she could marry young and have a successful marriage, unlike Luke and Isabelle, just like I’m hoping to prove something to my parents about having a child while I continue college, but I wonder if my relationship with Luke spurred Danielle into action faster and without as much thought as she would have otherwise given to such a monumental decision.

  “What, Daddy, just because you get to do something stupid like shack up with my best friend means I can’t do something stupid too?”

  For the first time since they’d walked in, I see something like fury in Carlos’ expression.

  “You think us getting married is stupid?” He asks this of Danielle in a way that makes me think this isn’t the first time he’s wondered this.

  “I didn’t mean it that way,” she shoots back, unable to make eye contact with him.

  “I could pour some lemonade for everyone.” I offer this to break the tension, to give all of us a chance to settle down and regroup. “Just give me a minute, and I’ll—”

  “If it’s a mistake, it can be undone,” Luke tells the two of them, almost like he’s relieved the idea is on the table. “I’m not saying you two don’t love each other, but maybe you aren’t ready for this.”

  Carlos lets out an angered breath. “You too, Luke? You gonna shit all over me and Danielle before you’ve even given us a chance?”

  “That’s not at all what I’m trying to do. I’m just saying you both are so young, and—”

  “Young like Claudia?” Carlos looks over at me just now, his eyes going dark. “I don’t judge you guys—I figure you do what you gotta do. But you think me and Danielle are too young?”

  Danielle is quiet, which is strange considering how vocal she’d been just a few minutes ago.

  “What, you really think we fucked this up, huh?” Carlos asks her. “You regret marrying me already?”

  “Carlos…” That’s all she says, just his name, but it’s enough to push him over an edge he might have already been teetering on.

  “Son,” Luke says as Carlos pushes past him, opens the door and slams it shut.

  “He’s not going to get far,” Danielle says to nobody in particular.

  “I’ll go talk to him.” Luke opens the door back up and heads out, leaving Danielle and I alone for the first time in a long while.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I’m close enough to lay a gentle hand on her shoulder, but I don’t, not yet.

  “I drove,” she says. “He’s going to have to walk back to town if he’s hell-bent on leaving.” She doesn’t sound surprised or hurt at him walking out. She’s calm and still.

  “Let’s sit down.” Now I take her hand, and she follows willingly, easing down on the couch next to me. “I know you’re not happy about me and your dad, but you can still talk to me. I’m still your friend.”

  She finally looks at me, little to no emotion showing through in her expression. “I made a mistake.”

  “With Carlos?” I gently prod.

  She closes her eyes and lowers her head. “I do love him, but…”

  I don’t push her to finish, just remain by her side, wanting to be here for her whether she wants to tell me everything or not.

  “But it’s so real now,” she starts again, rubbing her thumb over her rings. “I romanticized all of it, that love could conquer all, but I don’t even have a clue where we’re going to live. We’ve actually been back the last couple of days, staying with his family, and it just feels so… weird? I mean, Carlos doesn’t even have a job, and I told him I’d just get my dad to pay for an apartment for us at WSU, but he said that would de-masculinize him. So, what, we just live in separate dorms or get part-time jobs and rent some dump together?”

  I take her hand again. “Maybe it won’t be perfect at first, but as long as you stay in school and finish, then things will be better for both of you. Carlos loves you, right?”

  She looks at me for a long while, eventually pulling her hand away from mine. “My intentions were good at first, but now?” She shrugs. “What excuse do I really have to be married this young? I’m not even pregnant or anything.”

  My stomach squeezes, and I say nothing. The continued silence is deafening, and she appears to notice.

  “Claudia?” The intensity in her voice and her unspoken question barrel down hard on me.

  “I’m pregnant,” I say, unable to keep quiet. “It’s your dad’s.”

  She looks stunned, maybe even horrified. I expect her to get up and walk out, but her body relaxes instead.

  “Oh,” she finally says. “That day at the shop when you were sick? I guess it wasn’t food poisoning after all.”

  I shake my head.

  “It’s a good excuse then… to get married.”

  “It’s not an excuse,” I say, her tolerant reaction giving me the courage to speak freely. I’d marry her father regardless of me being pregnant. “And I’m still going to do the things I want—I’m transferring to Central, so I’m not quitting school.”

  “Your parents know ab
out the baby yet?” she asks as though she’s already come to terms with my revelation.

  “No… not yet. Luke… well, your dad wants to tell them, but I just need more time. I need to prove to them I can do this.”

  “Shouldn’t you just need to prove it to yourself?” she asks me like she actually cares what my response might be. “Don’t be like Carlos… don’t be all proud. My dad can pay for your college, so who gives a fuck what your parents think, right?” She sounds like my friend again, like she’s on my side.

  I’m not sure if she really believes I wouldn’t care what they thought or it’s more of just a “fuck you” attitude toward everything. What I am clear on is that Danielle has always expected her father to do for her whatever she’s wanted, and I’m not sure she even knows or understands the sacrifice he’s made to try to keep her mother healthy.

  “I don’t want to be totally dependent,” I say and watch one of her eyebrows rise like I’m about to call her out on being spoiled. “I’m not stupid of course—I’m not going to try to work while I’m pregnant and going to school, but I will finish my degree. If I don’t, I’ll just resent your dad, and after all he’s been through with your mother and with Bran—” I stop myself, not having meant to bring up her brother, wishing I could walk it back.

  “He told you then,” she says coolly, like she’d been waiting for me to mention her complicated family history.

  “He had to… to explain all the trips to Seattle and the way they made him feel.”

  “Angry,” she says flatly, then tacks on a small laugh. “He’s been trying to hide whatever latest breakdown she had from me, but I’m not stupid. It’s easy enough for me to see—those trips always make him sad and stressed, especially if he sees Gabe. He tell you that Gabe is his brother, that he’s my biological father?”

  I think me telling her about the baby is allowing her to speak more freely with me. “Yes, he did. Please don’t be hurt that I know.”

  “I’m not hurt,” she says with a quick laugh that is almost dismissive. “My sperm donor is an asshole, and so is my mother for that matter. She’s a self-absorbed drunk, and she killed my brother. Did my dad tell you about that too?”

  I hate that I have to affirm this, as if not saying it would make Brandon less dead. “Yes.”

  “My dad used to say it was an accident, that we had to forgive that bitch because she was still my mother. But when we all lived here together, I couldn’t look at her without imagining my brother dead. So, I haven’t forgiven her… and I won’t, not ever. I tell him it’s just a waste of time, him taking care of her. After the divorce, I accused him of still loving her, told him he was doing this for himself and not me.”

  Her eyes light up with anger, and I anxiously await her to dispel that.

  “He doesn’t… love her… not anymore,” she tells me like it’s a gift, like she knows that’s what I need to hear and is showing me some sympathy. “I’ve seen them together, when he’d drag me off to give her another chance, to see her weeping or detached or just plain crazy. And I didn’t see love in his eyes… maybe just pity? He still thinks he can save her, can give me the mother she never was and can never be.”

  “I’m so sorry, Danielle. I have issues with my own mother, but…”

  “But you know she loves you?” she fills in.

  “I’m pretty sure,” I say, though my mother’s love is complicated, conditional and doesn’t show through easily.

  “Maybe she did at one point… love me,” Danielle tells me, her voice tinged with both bitterness and resignation. “I remember things weren’t so bad when I was little, and when my brother was born, I was so happy, and Isabelle let me play with him and take him outside all on my own. At the time, I figured she wanted to let me pretend to be a mommy or was giving me responsibility to show that she trusted me, but really that was just the start of her breaking down, the start of her talking to Gabe again and the years of misery that followed. I’ll never forgive her, Claudia. I’ll never forgive her for being a drunk and a poor excuse for a mother who cares more about Gabe than she does for me or the memory of her son.”

  It’s hard to fully take on all of the sadness pouring out of her. I’d experienced my share of detachment and turmoil in my own family, but I’d never gone through something as bleak as losing a sibling or hating a parent with quite the passion in which Danielle hates her mother.

  “I’m so sorry if you feel like I’m taking your father away too. I know it’s difficult to accept, but—”

  She puts a firm hand on my thigh, and I look up into her eyes.

  “It is difficult… you and my dad. My dad. Technically, he’s my uncle, but he legally adopted me, and he’s always just been my dad. That won’t ever change, no matter what the DNA says.”

  “He’s a wonderful man.” Love for him swells within me for the way he’d stepped up for Danielle, had been the rock she needed.

  “He is… and maybe I knew you’d be perfect for him. Maybe that’s why I was so eager to volunteer our house as a place for you to stay this summer. It’s weird, and I’m still not fully used to it, but you make him happy, and he deserves that. I wish he’d have found it in someone his own age, but at least it guarantees you’ll always be in my life, that we won’t lose touch like so many friends do.”

  I’m tearing up because Danielle’s long awaited acceptance means the world to me. It couldn’t have been easy for her considering how much she’s been through, and Luke will understand and appreciate this better than anyone else.

  “Just please don’t ever refer to me as your stepdaughter, okay?” she says, lightness returning to the girl I’d recently worried I might lose.

  “I won’t. I promise!” I lean in for a hug, and she holds me tight, and it feels wonderful.

  “Do you guys have a date in mind?” she asks once we pull apart.

  “Not yet. We’ll have to tell my parents first, so we might just wait until after the baby is born?”

  “The baby,” she says, looking down at my stomach. “That will take some getting used to as well, but I’m kind of excited to be a big sister again.”

  “And I’m sure you’ll work things out with Carlos,” I tell her, wanting her to be as happy as I know I’ll be with Luke.

  “We’ll see.”

  When Luke comes back into the house twenty minutes later, he’s alone, his face twisted up in emotion, though he does smile lightly when he sees how close Danielle and I are on the couch.

  “I drove him back to his house. I think he needs some time, Dani, and if I said anything to upset you guys, then I’m sorry.” He sits on the couch opposite us, leans forward and rests his elbows on his thighs.

  “It’s okay, Daddy,” she says. “Carlos and I needed to have this fight. We still have a lot to figure out.”

  “I’ll help if I can,” he tells her. “Whatever you need.”

  Danielle is quiet for a few ticks, so used to her dad making things easier for her that she’s surely mulling the idea around in her head. “No. He and I need to do this. We need to be adults.”

  His smile shows pride and gratitude. “I’m glad you’re home, honey. I’ve missed you.”

  “I missed you too,” she says, getting up and going to him.

  When they embrace, it brings me to tears.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  CLAUDIA

  It’s odd having my parents in Luke’s house. Actually, I’d say it’s downright uncomfortable. They’d insisted on coming to see me before I started at Central, saying they had no intention of stepping foot in Ellensburg and that Echo Ridge was as far as they’d go. Since they’d been to Pullman, a town that wasn’t so incredibly different from Ellensburg, I knew this was more about punishment than anything else. If I insisted on going to Central, this was just one more way they could show their disapproval.

  They’d spent the previous night in the hotel and spa Emily owns, an unnecessary accommodation since Echo Ridge is less than two hours from Seattle, but with t
he boys still at their summer camp on Whidbey Island, Mom said they could use the rejuvenation.

  They had booked the hotel before talking to me, and I’d been terrified Emily would have seen their last name, put two and two together and found a way to tell them everything about Luke and I. I’d gone into panic mode, telling myself maybe it was a good thing for them to know and then reminding myself it most definitely wasn’t, not yet at least.

  “She’s not even in town,” Danielle had told me when she’d seen me on the verge of having a mini-breakdown.

  “What? She’s not?”

  Danielle wrinkled her brow. “Her and Rhonda got into a huge fight about Emily sleeping with David.” With a mischievous grin, she eyed me. “Emily decided she had to head back to that winery of hers in Napa or maybe the orange groves in Florida—I don’t know. But she’s gone, and so is David… back to college early. I think Rhonda finally had an epiphany, just like I did, about what a jerk that guy is.”

  Relief flooded through me like a cool breeze on a stagnant summer day, and I didn’t care how or why Danielle had known this while I hadn’t. “And how does Carlos feel about that… about David?”

  Danielle just stared at me for a minute, then said, “Hell if I know,” and left the room.

  Knowing Emily and David were out of Echo Ridge allowed me to sleep last night and has kept me mostly calm and relaxed today in dealing with Mom and Dad. Seeing Luke’s house, the Tesla in the driveway, the top of the line appliances, fine finishes and the property that stretches far beyond any fence-line has impressed my parents. But I’m sure they already knew what kind of money he had. My parents wouldn’t have allowed me to stay here the entire summer if they hadn’t done the bare minimum of research to be sure I wasn’t staying with an unapproved blue-collar family.

  Danielle had since taken off her wedding and engagement ring, and of course I’d removed mine for the visit as well. Luke had actually suggested he go into town while my parents were still at the hotel to talk to them, to tell them about our relationship and that he had every intention of making me an “honest” woman. But I’d put him off yet again, told him it wasn’t time, and even though I’m sure he wouldn’t have looked forward to dropping that bomb on them, he seemed disappointed.