by Kate Stewart
RHYS: I’ll see you soon.
Even now, if he was willing to tell me everything, I couldn’t forgive how he had broken a little piece of me with what he’d said. Even if he didn’t mean it, even if he’d just said it in anger, I couldn’t forget it.
Asshole.
Once finished with my task, I made my way to the backyard and sat on my old tire swing, replaying that night over and over. If I had only just once asked for a name...If I had only asked for Bryce’s mothers name, we could have pieced this all together ourselves. Instead, I’d allowed him to stay secretive about his past, never willing to give me more than he felt he should. His vague answers to protect me had backfired and caused us more harm than good. If I’d only asked. If he’d only shared more, we would have both known our pasts were mutually bound by one fucking name.
Sandra.
“It’s not him. It’s her.”
The weight of his words hit me in the chest as I stood frozen in his office.
No, God, not her. Anyone but her!
Paralyzed, my eyes scanned the security screen just as Rhys appeared on it and confronted Sandra. It was another series of clicks that went off as all the pieces fit together.
CLICK.
Sandra and Rhys knew each other.
CLICK.
And from the way he was glaring at her, I could tell she was his ex, and the previous owner of the club.
CLICK.
The woman he said he loathed...and sweet Bryce’s mother.
Keep it together, Vi.
Sandra, the same woman who destroyed my marriage, and the woman we both hated. I didn’t know whether to make my way out to the bar or continue to watch Rhys on the screen as he waved his hands toward the door angrily in an attempt to get her to leave. My eyes drifted to Alex, who was sitting with the man they came with. They seemed uninterested in the argument taking place at the entrance. Alex leaned over, his posture intimate, and brushed a piece of hair off the man’s forehead before leaning in for a—what the fuck—kiss.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” I stormed out of Rhys’s office and down the hall, thankful I’d had sense enough to wear a jacket that secured tightly over my lingerie-clad body. I rounded the bar, regarded Sandra for mere seconds as she argued with Rhys, and stood behind my ex-husband.
“You are gay!?” I screamed at the top of my lungs. The club was busier than usual and everyone, and I mean everyone, turned to watch me come apart, including Sandra and Rhys.
“Violet, what the hell are you doing here?” Alex turned on his stool to face me fully, completely confused and distancing himself from his lover as if he were ashamed.
My face heated, my anger surfacing further as I watched the man sitting to his left turn in his seat to face me, looking as if my name coming from Alex’s lips pained him. I knew his name. I’d heard the conversations they’d shared, and recalled the last one when he had whispered his I love you.
“Well, Alex, I am fucking the man who owns this bar. What are you doing here?” I snapped, glaring at Chris, who was strikingly handsome. I could see the appeal. My fury evident, I grabbed Alex’s drink and chugged it, the burn soothing me slightly. Rhys approached me from behind and grabbed my arm. I glared at him and jerked it away before returning my attention to Alex.
I kept my eyes trained on the man who had completely ruined my trust, ruined my confidence, all because he was too much of a coward to come clean. “All this time, I thought I wasn’t good enough. I thought I wasn’t woman enough and you let me think I wasn’t! You could have told me, you selfish son of a bitch! At least I would have understood in some way that I wasn’t MAN enough for you!” I took the rest of his drink and threw it at him, covering his dress shirt in ice and amber liquid. Rhys grabbed my upper arm and pulled me back roughly.
“Violet, let it go,” he snapped, forcing me to bring my eyes to his. I ripped my arm from out of his hands again, cursing and blinded with rage.
Every person had their breaking point, and this was mine.
“And you, Rhys. You loved this...this bitch.” I pointed at Sandra. “This whore...This monster!”
“Hey now, maybe bitch is deserved,” Sandra said, coyly walking up to us and covering me with her clear blue gaze. She was smirking and enjoying every minute of the confrontation. I held her eyes, thinking Bryce did slightly resemble her, and shook my head, not wanting to make the connection. It was too painful. My chest burned with anger and there wasn’t a rational thought able to compete with it.
I was in her office building a month ago, believing I watched a mouse at play before the snake struck, when in reality I’d been staring straight at the serpent.
She was the reason for so much of my pain, of Rhys’s pain. She was the reason Bryce would grow up without knowing or feeling the love of his real mother. Rage boiled within me as I thought of Bryce and what he deserved.
“I didn’t love her, ever,” Rhys said plainly. “Violet, look at me.” My voice trembled with fear of his answer, but I had to get my next question out.
“Did you know?” I asked in a harsh whisper. When he didn’t answer, I asked louder. “Did you know, Rhys!” I demanded. My voice rattled with my next question. “Am I another one of your games?” I looked between Sandra and Rhys as what composure I had completely left me. Rhys looked at me incredulously as Sandra took a step closer, unable to hide her excitement about the situation.
“No, Violet. I had no idea,” he said quietly. His eyes pleaded with me to believe him, but I couldn’t. In that moment, I hated Rhys for having anything to do with Sandra. I was flipping at my revelation and I was sure anyone in my position would be too. It was too much. I had to get out of there and fast.
“Violet, I’m sorry,” Alex said, stepping up to the most fucked up circle of people I’d ever known. “I thought you knew and that’s why I wanted a quiet divorce. When you said Chris, I assumed—”
“K-r-i-s, not C-H-R-I-S you fucking moron. How in the hell would I have known this?” I glared at him as he cowered away back to his seat as Chris grabbed his hand. I almost laughed at the way Alex needed to be consoled.
What a little bitch.
Sandra spoke next. I expected her posture to be hands clasped at her fingertips, eyes filled with mischief, an evil pose that let us all know that all of this had gone exactly according to plan. Instead, she looked between the four of us with pure delight. “Oh, this is too good to be true...I didn’t realize my playthings could bring out so much emotion.” Sandra shook her whole body in an exaggerated shivering motion and snickered as she looked back at Alex and Chris, who regarded her with contempt. “Little did I know when I took your husband, Violet, he would fall in love with me and my sub. I have your husband and his lover under my thumb. Why do you think that is?” She stood inches away from me and continued her torment. “You aren’t woman enough and you never will be, especially for Rhys. I promise you that.”
I turned to face her head on as Rhys moved suddenly, stepping in front of me. She took note of his protectiveness and her jaw hardened.
“Look at Rhys all grown up with a real girlfriend,” she taunted. “Tell me, do you two make supper and watch reruns before you fuck? How is life in vanilla, Rhys? Do you really think this woman is enough for you?” She laughed, but no one around her joined in. Not even her two subs at the bar, one of them being my ex-husband.
This was not happening.
I trembled with every breath I took as Rhys remained completely composed as he addressed her.
“I’m happy and it kills you,” he said smoothly, his voice unaffected. “I want her and you know it and it’s fucking killing you.”
“You always did think a little too much of my need for you, Rhys.” She waved him off, though her statement was far from convincing, her want for him evident in the way she regarded him.
“Really, is that why you made a house call for my cock just a few short weeks ago?” He nodded toward Alex and Chris. “I’m sure they would be interested to know their mistre
ss isn’t satisfied.” Chris stiffened, his face contorted in anger while Alex remained impassive and unimpressed. Rhys took a step toward Sandra and she cringed slightly as he addressed her with nothing short of hatred. “When I walk out the door with my future in my hand, I will never see you again. I’m done with this place, with you, for good. If you come anywhere near me, Violet, or my son, I will ruin you.” He leaned in closer so only the threat was heard by the three of us. “I will hurt you and you know I know just how to do it.”
Rhys took my arm in an attempt to pull me out of the club. I passed her, but I had to get my digs in. I gripped the back of her head, digging my nails in her scalp as I whispered in her ear. “Your inability to keep your hands off what didn’t belong to you led me straight to the arms of the man you wanted most. Your son will call me mother while the man you want fucks me, loves me, and worships my body. Keep Alex. We both know it wasn’t really a fair trade, was it, Sandra? Enjoy the short end of the stick.” I pulled back, inches from her face to see her shocked expression. She didn’t think I had it in me, and that made two of us.
I saw the humorous light in her eyes die as she glared at Rhys and me as he pulled me out of the bar.
As soon as the cold air hit us, I pulled away from Rhys, furious with the night’s events. “I’m a CLICHÉ!” I threw my hands up in the air. “Jilted wife finds out that her husband is gay!”
“Ex-husband,” Rhys added.
“Seriously, why the hell couldn’t he have told me? And she doesn’t even know that the joke is on her. He loves Chris. I mean, she has to have figured it out by now, he can’t love her.” I racked my brain for answers that weren’t coming. I saw Rhys’s face harden as he ran his hands through his hair. His next words cut me.
“Why the fuck do you care who he loves?” he said harshly, his sudden anger with me stopping me from retrieving my keys from my pocket.
I looked back at the bar and then to him, incredulous. “No...no! You don’t get to pull this shit on me! Are you kidding me right now? I was with that man for years and had no clue,” I snapped, lifting my finger in warning.
“What shit am I pulling, Violet!? You seem obsessed with the man and what he feels. Why don’t you go ask him? He’s right inside that door!” Rhys turned away from me and began walking toward his car.
“Rhys, wait,” I said, my voice shaking in anger. “What about you, huh?” I was freezing and all the adrenaline shooting through me from the last ten minutes was taking its toll. “What about you and your fucking obsessions? How could you have picked her?” My anger boiled over again and I was helpless to stop it. I walked toward him, refusing to let him leave. When he didn’t answer, I pushed his back in an attempt to get him to turn around as he reached his sedan. “You picked her and she ruined both our lives! How could you ever have been involved with a woman like that? What does that say about you?”
Rhys whirled on me then, his eyes filled with hurt. “Who the fuck are you to judge me?”
“I’m not judging you, Rhys. I just find it a little hard to believe that you would mix yourself up with a woman like that for any reason and—”
“I’m not perfect and I won’t pretend to be for you. That in there was a mistake. My mistake and has nothing to do with you,” he shot back, wounding me.
“I never expected you to be perfect,” I defended weakly. “And apparently we can’t separate our past from our future so it has everything to do with me!” I said, my entire body shaking with every emotion imaginable: embarrassment, hurt, shock, and outrage taking the lead.
He leaned against his car, arms crossed, eyes fixed on mine. “What exactly is it that you want from me, Violet? I’m not Alex. I can’t make what he did right for you. I’ve already given you the ability to hurt me. What more do you want?”
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Rhys.”
“You’re not, but what you are doing is acting like a jealous ex-wife. You’re making a damn fool of yourself and me, something I swore I wouldn’t let you do again. You’re expecting me to apologize and make excuses for mistakes I have already paid for...And you’re pissing me off.”
I glared at him as I addressed him next. “You don’t want the jealous ex-wife, fine, how about answering to your current girlfriend? When exactly where you planning on telling me Sandra came for a cock-filled house call!”
He shook his head as his arms fell to his sides, his guilt apparent.
“No secrets or lies between us. I believe that was your line of bullshit, Rhys,” I continued, my voice a shriek at this point.
“I may have an answer to that when you can calm down and act rationally. This is their mess, Violet, not ours!” he said, exasperated. He looked at me with contempt. “I moved on from that. I found you, let it go.”
“Let it go? Let it go!” I shook my head, incredulous. “Well, she hasn’t moved on, Rhys! You lied to me...again! That whore is the mother of your son, she ruined my marriage, and you think we can just walk away from this!”
“Yes,” he said quickly. “I know we can.”
“Maybe you can.” I watched him slowly shut down in front of me and couldn’t help my next words. “Tell me, Rhys, what is it that you’re so damn angry about right now? You can control my body but not my emotions, is that it?”
His breath left him as he shook his head. “Tell me why you’re so upset, Violet, because I’m pretty sure it has more to do with him than me.” I saw a steely resolve cover his features before he spoke again. “Maybe I was wrong to pull you so close. You never wanted this, us, or maybe I just wanted it more. You signed up for something totally different,” he stated, pulling at his door handle. I slammed it closed, forcing him to face me.
“What, Rhys...” I gathered my strength, the amount of hurt I felt making me tremble. “What the hell did you just say to me?” I clenched my fists at my sides as he stared at the gravel between us. “You’re the one who was IN remember? No, Rhys, we were designed to be together and your ex had an unknowing hand in it! I mean, what kind of fucked up coincidence is this?”
“I’m thankful,” he said, slowly reaching for me. “And I always will be.” He pulled my face to him and kissed me gently then let go to get in his car.
“Rhys, talk to me,” I said, my heart sinking.
“It’s Christmas Eve, Violet. I have to go get Bryce.”
“Violet?” I turned around to see Alex walking toward me and held my hand up to stop him in his tracks.
“Not now, Alex.” I saw Rhys stiffen as Alex approached. I turned to glare at him but he stood firm in his refusal to give Rhys and I space. “All I am asking for is a few minutes, Violet.”
Rhys darted around me, his face twisted with fury. “I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from her.”
I jumped in front of Rhys, a question in my eyes as he looked past me, murder in his depths for Alex.
“I think you know I only want to talk to her,” Alex snapped back, challenging him. I looked between them, completely confused. Then it dawned on me they’d had this conversation before. I turned to Rhys.
“When?”
“The night before you left for the Caymans,” he answered without hesitation. “He was at your house.”
“Our house, Violet,” Alex snapped behind me.
“Not anymore,” Rhys challenged, taking a step forward.
“What in the hell do I have to do to get the men in my life to be honest with me!” I felt sick as I backed away from them both. I shook my head back and forth, trying to wrap my mind around the level of betrayal I felt in that moment.
“You,” I directed to Rhys, whose eyes shot to mine. “You were supposed to be different.”
“I am different and you know it,” he said firmly. “I’m the only real thing you’ve got,” he said, his eyes turning cold as he watched me.
“I don’t think your fucking qualified to tell me what’s real, Rhys,” I snapped, keeping my voice even though my heart was falling away piece by piece.
�
�No,” he said icily. “I guess your fucking fantasy is just a little safer, right? Don’t worry, Violet, tonight I’ll play the bad guy.” He charged Alex and punched him square across the jaw, sending him to the gravel as he cursed and then glared between us. “You two really should learn how to listen. And, Violet, when you figure out just what in the hell it is that you want, we should talk.”
“Something you are completely fucking incapable of apparently,” I shot back, “honesty.”
The level of hurt I saw in his posture almost knocked me down with guilt. He got in his sedan and left. I turned to Alex, who was still on the ground holding his jaw, then back to Rhys’s retreating car.
Walking to my car, I did not give a damn about Alex or his newly aching jaw. As I was reaching for the handle, he protested.
“Just let me talk to you.” I turned to face him. He was standing now, still cupping his face as a small amount of blood trickled from his lips. I closed my car door and charged him.
“Talk,” I snapped, ready for the answers I had deserved for far too long.
“I’ve always been this way and I’ve always hidden it. When I met you, I fell for you, Violet, I did. I truly loved you, but no matter how hard I tried, it was still there. I still wanted...men. And then I met Chris and it just happened.”
“How long?” I asked, hating myself for it.
“A little over a year,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, his jaw turning purple.
“I knew that.” I couldn’t control my disgust.
“I was going to end it, Violet, I was. Get it out of my system, be a better husband, but I fell in love—”
“Skip it, I don’t care. How did Sandra fall into this?”
“We were away on that weekend retreat to brainstorm for new ideas for the Lux campaign and she brought him. She introduced me to him. It started with him, Violet. I had no idea about—they introduced me to all of this,” he said, pointing at the club. “Everything changed for me. I had no idea how to explain this to you. I was completely selfish. I wanted him.”
