by Kate Stewart
He stilled my movement. “If you hate these things so much, why are you here?”
“I joined everything in hopes of making some new friends when I became wealthy. I was chair on a couple of committees due to my overly generous donations. I’ve stepped down and ducked out of everything in the last six months. I no longer give a shit. I’ve hated most of these functions, but this is one cause close to my heart.” I nodded out of the window and smiled as he saw the sign for the Charleston Aquarium.
He nodded as he exited the car and reached out his hand for mine. We bypassed the carpet at his insistence and were greeted by an ambiance of soft lights and live jazz music. I immediately grabbed a waiting glass of champagne and handed one to my beautiful date.
“It’s my job to get the drinks,” he cooed in my ear as we sipped champagne, hands clasped.
“Come on, I want to show you something.” I walked him past the first two larger than life-sized aquariums filled with tropical fish, and he looked on, admiring them along with me.
“It’s way more fascinating to me than art. It’s alive and beautiful and ever changing.” He squeezed my hand as we walked along the colorful and contrasting wall of fish. I weaved through the crowd, intentionally not making eye contact with anyone. I was here with Aiden, and that was all that mattered. For once in the last two years, I had someone to entertain. I wasn’t being hidden, a kept secret. For once I was being revered as someone important. At least to him.
“Want to dance?” I asked quickly. Aiden seemed distracted as he looked around us.
“No, not here. I’ll dance with you some other time. I promise.” He squeezed my hand, and I let it go.
We circled the aquarium, stopping in a quiet room filled from floor to ceiling with sharks. I stood in awe, staring into the tanks with the same fear that always struck me when I saw them. I swam among them in all aspects of my life, but I respected them greatly. I watched as a six-foot blacktip swam past me, touching the reinforced glass as it slid along side of me.
I loved the sea and all its creatures and was fascinated by its intricate ecosystem. My plans were to help expand the aquarium, making it one of the east coast’s biggest and best. I stood for several moments watching the beady-eyed, smooth skinned predators glide along the water, changing directions without warning.
Suddenly there was a whirlwind of activity. They began to circle faster as more sharks joined the mix, causing my pulse to pick up with the flurry of activity in front of me as they raced around, held captive only by a few inches of glass.
“Aren’t they incredib—” I was cut short by the sight of Aiden facing Devin in the center of the room.
I stood paralyzed with fear and jumped as a shark tale tapped the glass next to my head. The two men were completely silent in what looked to be a standoff. Terror crept through me as I realized these men not only knew each other but hated each other as well.
I stood motionless as fierce blue eyes met molten lava. I could literally feel the hate static mounting between them and cringed. I’d never seen Devin so livid, his jaw set. I couldn’t see Aiden’s face clearly, but his posture told me his look was probably eerily similar.
Breaking my immobility, I walked up next to Aiden and grabbed his hand.
“Let’s go,” I prompted, starting to walk as Aiden gripped my hand hard, telling me to stay in place.
Devin turned his glare from Aiden to look at me and seemed to suddenly realize I was standing there, a physical jerk moving through him, his glare turning to disbelief. Aiden caught on quickly and turned to look at me for confirmation, asking the silent question, “Is this him?” and I nodded quickly as he dropped my hand.
My heart ripped at the loss as my eyes stayed glued between the two of them.
“Fuck you, I’m not doing this tonight,” Aiden hissed at Devin through clenched teeth. I looked to Devin who had murder in his eyes, his gaze shooting back and forth between us.
“Nina, when you fuck my cousin, does it remind you of me?”
I was crippled in that moment. Devin looked at me with a “Well?” as I stood there, completely powerless to stop the next few minutes of my life. Aiden turned to me, confrontation clear in his features.
“Research.”
My defense was weak and worthless.
“I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”
I cowered away, terrified of the two of them.
“We’re leaving,” Aiden snapped as he came toward me in a blur.
“You aren’t going anywhere with her,” Devin hissed as he walked forward in an attempt to block him.
“Devin, do yourself a favor and walk away,” Aiden countered, sliding his hand around my hip.
“The fuck I will!” Devin yelled as I stood in front of Aiden.
“You have no say in anything I do, Devin. I came with Aiden, I’m leaving with him. This wasn’t intentional. It just happened. Aiden can attest to that.”
I turned on my heel, heading toward the exit with or without Aiden. I knew I should be throwing myself at his feet, at his mercy, but I couldn’t do it. Not with Devin standing there.
I clutched my purse and dug deep for my emergency bottle of Xanax, taking one and downing it with a glass of champagne from a ready tray. Minutes passed as I waited on Carson to bring the car around.
Suddenly Aiden was hot on my heels as he exited the building. Carson pulled up and opened the door for us, concern written all over his face. Once seated, I popped a hot bottle of un-chilled champagne I kept on hand, taking a long sip. It was awful, but it would get the job done.
“I didn’t know. We didn’t exactly disclose our names until the night I asked. I was just as surprised as you are now. When I found out you weren’t brothers, I didn’t think much more of it. I figured he wasn’t a part of your life.”
“You fucked up,” he said tightly. “You figured wrong.”
I felt a chill sweep through me as a stone-faced Aiden failed to look at me. I lowered the glass partition.
“Mr. McIntyre will be returning home.”
Carson nodded as I put the partition back up, cradling the warm bottle of champagne in my arm, wishing at that moment to be anyone but me.
“What can I say? Please, Aiden, tell me.”
Aiden sat perfectly still, his body language screaming violence. I wanted more than anything to ask what had transpired between them but knew I may never get the answers. Carson stopped in Aiden’s drive, and for the first time Aiden looked at me, and in his eyes, I saw what I’d feared.
“If I would have asked you—”
“We would have never begun,” he said, matter-of-fact. “This can’t happen, Nina. I’m sorry.”
He exited the limo, walking past his porch steps toward the side of his house, down the beach path, motion lights beaming on to guide his steps. I blindly followed him, my insides sinking as he made his way out to the surf, untying his bowtie. He stood as he reached the white foam, the only light hovering over us coming from the back porch of his house.
“Aiden, please talk to me.” I heard my voice shake and took a deep breath.
“You knew,” he said as a statement. “You surprise me sometimes. I think I have you figured out and then you pull the rug out from under me. It was what I loved about you most. Now I think it’s what I like about you least.”
“Fuck, please don’t do that. Don’t jab at me. You came after me that night, remember. I didn’t do this intentionally or to spite him.”
“It can’t happen. I’m sorry. You need to leave.” He walked away, leaving me on the beach holding a hot bottle of champagne and my face covered in running mascara.
§§
I was pulled from sleep by the rumbling of my cell phone. I quickly texted Taylor that I would be into the office in the morning, then lay in bed with my eyes shut tight.
Did that really fucking happen?
I had no reason to believe Devin would show up to that event. It wasn’t something he would be inter
ested in, and no matter how hard I’d pushed the case, none of the women on my other committees were remotely interested in helping with the expansion of the aquarium.
He’d made good on his threat and come specifically for me.
And now you know. Cousins.
I saw it and ignored it. Same last name, similar upbringings, Ivy League educations. It was clear it was a connect the dots scenario. I knew, and I’d ignored it. I wanted Aiden. And deep down, I still wanted Devin. Fresh tears crippled me from moving out of bed as I christened my pillow over and over. Devin was furious. Aiden was done. And I was once again alone.
Who exactly was I crying for?
I wiped my face, but the tears wouldn’t stop, my body aching with my deep-seated need for the man I loved and loathed, and the good man I’d lost and wanted desperately to keep, the pulse between my thighs making me aware I could never have either.
I’d let sexual thirst rule my life, and now as I shuddered with sobs to grieve both men, I was all too aware of my arousal. The need was distinct and unavoidable. My nipples peaked with thoughts that should be anything but present, and I pinched them hard in frustration. I moaned out as the pleasure broke through the pain, my sex becoming heavier with need.
Disgusted, I turned on my stomach and buried my head in the pillow as my hand drifted down toward the throbbing. I cried out when my fingers reached the tip, tears still coming down as I gave in to my need. I stroked myself hard without giving my body a chance to open.
Punishing my clit with rough fingers, I strained for release and came up empty. I cried in frustration, bringing the wetness from my middle to the top, rubbing furiously and moving my hips for friction. Still gasping and straining, I came up empty and moved my head to the side for more air, and I froze.
He stood next to my bed, his eyes on fire with lust as he watched me cry in frustration and heartbreak, trying to reach my orgasm.
Slowly his hand reached toward me, pulling the comforter off the bed, revealing my naked skin. I waited as his eyes appreciated me and he stayed planted next to me, his fiery depths beckoning me to continue. I began to move my hand again as he watched me cupping my sex beneath me, still pushing for release and failing.
Sobbing, I planted my knees on the bed, lifted my ass and ground furiously into my hand as he watched, lips parted, his erection straining in his pants. I worked tirelessly for release, sweat beading on my forehead, hard heavy breaths coming out with my cries. My heart thrummed hard inside my chest. He palmed his hard cock, watching me intently.
I needed relief. I needed him.
“Please, I can’t do it…please!”
He moved lightning fast, his hands covering my ass, stroking the back of my thighs. I felt his tongue trace the contours of my backside before he buried his thick tongue inside, fucking my pussy with it. He licked me from bottom to top as I gripped my pillow, writhing in agony. Suddenly I was turned over and forced to watch him as he shed his clothes. I kept my hand low, rubbing furiously, his hungry eyes my encouragement.
“I’m sorry, Nina,” he whispered as his lips trailed warmly up my neck.
I reached out to him, but he gripped my forearms, pinning them next to my head as his hard cock nudged my entrance. My chest lifted in asking as his mouth covered one nipple, pulling and biting before moving to the other.
With one solid thrust, he was buried deep, rubbing me exactly where I needed him and I came, pulsing and praising. He moved inside me slowly, kissing my face, my eyes, my brow, nose, chin, and neck. I cried against his lips as he took my mouth sweetly and completely as he made love to me. Minutes later, I orgasmed again as he stroked me deep inside, so much so I felt an aching part of me start to heal.
“I love you, Nina,” he whispered to me as he came, pouring himself inside.
I opened my eyes, staring deep into the dark blue depths and whispered the name my heart held sacred.
“Devin.”
Hindrance
Book 3
§§
Nina
Storms are a funny thing. Most people ignore the warning signs: a strong gust of wind, a lightning strike on the horizon, the distant rumble of thunder.
My head and heart had been at odds for the last two years because of Devin McIntyre, and my relationship with Aiden had only complicated matters. Still, I craved both men. Just when I thought the decision was taken from me, a choice between the two became inevitable. The two men I had attached myself to emotionally and physically had already told me everything I needed to know.
Although the dark clouds were gathering overhead, I ignored the lightning, played deaf to the thunder, and let the tempest push me toward them both. I ended up in a whirlwind of secrets, a vortex of deception and depravity I never imagined possible. I was drowning again, but this time … this time I would be ready.
Or so I thought.
Nothing could have prepared me for the coming storm.
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
― Oscar Wild
§§
Prologue
My heel sank into the pluff mud, and I left it there, swiftly relieving my foot of the other. Turning my head toward my idling car, I reassured myself that it was still there, the door left open in case I needed to escape in a hurry. Hearing another bloodcurdling scream, I walked toward the dim light. Fear shot through me in waves as Shel Silverstein’s words fumbled around in my head, “Clooney the Clown” a horrific internal monolog resounding through my frightened mind. My senses heightened with each step I took toward the cracked door. There was soft music playing in the background. I knew the song but could not make out the words. It was upbeat and a little jazzy, and totally unfitting.
I could hear the crunch of crisp grass under my feet, and then another scream echoed in the night. Reaching into my purse, I fumbled inside and let out a way too audible breath of relief when I felt the cold steel.
Another scream, louder, more desperate. Pain…this was pain.
“Enough!” It was a loud boom of a familiar male voice.
I recited the poem over and over in my head, the way I used to when I heard my parents fighting, and yet I knew that what I was about to see was far worse than what I used to hear. I took another step forward, and a motion light came on, alerting my presence to those inside. Sweat from the humidity, along with adrenaline from fear, had me dripping, my now soaked blouse clinging to my torso.
Terror raced through my every pore as I gripped my gun and took aim in front of me.
A dark figure appeared out of the door, but I instantly knew who it was. He came toward me in a black blur, yelling my name as I squeezed the trigger with a scream of my own.
“A man when he is making up to anybody can be cordial and gallant and full of little attentions and altogether charming. But when a man is really in love he can’t help looking like a sheep.”
― Agatha Christie
§§
Devin
Nina lay on her stomach, facing away from me as I traced the curve of her spine with my fingertips from her neck down to her lower back. We both lay quiet after I’d made love to her then fell asleep. When we woke this morning and she realized I hadn’t left, I saw the surprise on her face when she opened her eyes. She turned away from me as I continued to stroke her. I was sure my confession and my tender touch had stifled her into this silence. She finally turned to look at me, and I saw confusion and pain in her cloud-filled eyes.
“I’m leaving her.” Emotion crossed her features in what looked like a hint of relief, but it quickly disappeared. Before I could say anything else, she rose from the bed and shut the bathroom door behind her.
I’d left her alone to shower as I sat in her bed admiring her beautiful frame while she polished her face in the mirror.
“I meant it when I said I loved you, Nina. I meant it. I think you know it. I think you’ve known it.”
“Devin, why are you doing this? If this is a pissing contest between you and your cousin,
I’ll be the first to break the news. He broke it off the minute we left the fundraiser.”
I tried not to show my relief, but she was watching me closely, and it was evident.
“You don’t belong with him.” I pulled at my pants, trying to hide my growing erection from simply watching her. Now was not the time.
She turned in her chair to face me, a makeup brush in her hand. “And I don’t belong with you. Sex is all we’ve ever had between us.”
“Bullshit.”
“Really?” She stood, walking over to stand in front of me. “My shrink told me you conditioned me this way. Is that true?”
“Your shrink.” I sat slightly stunned before realization hit me. “Fuck that, Nina. Of course he would speak ill of me. With every breath he takes he lies.”
“Seems to run in the family. Besides, we didn’t speak of you at all, because I didn’t know for sure the two of you were connected until last night. I would ask you what your beef with him is, but I’m pretty sure it would be another lie.”
“My beef?” I tried to mask my chuckle. I wanted to grab her and ravage her again, but her body language told me I was about to be thrown out. When I discovered the door unlocked last night and found her in bed writhing and needy, I thanked God, Santa Clause, the fucking lucky leprechaun, and whoever else was responsible. Walking away was not fucking happening and touching her again felt like returning to heaven after a long stint in hell.
In the back of my mind lingered the thought he’d tainted her, but I wouldn’t let him have her. I’d never let him have her.
The minute I saw that son of a bitch clasp her hand, all bets were off. She was mine. I would make her mine again. I would prove my worth, my love, my devotion. I would keep her safe and to hell with the consequences. She was worth losing it all.
Looking at her now as she stood in her silk camisole and matching shorts, tapping her brush on her thigh, it was clear I should have made the decision a lot sooner. Still, the jealous bastard in me had to ask.
