Lust & Lies Box Set-Sexual Awakenings, Excess, Predator & Prey

by Kate Stewart

  Wake up, Nina!

  What the hell had I done letting him back into my bed? Jesus help me if I didn’t want him there now. Devin promised me answers and a better version of himself before that would ever happen. He’d never so much as promised me I’d see him again when we were dating, and now he was asking for a future.

  And you believed him?

  If there were an award for self-loathing, I would wipe out the competition. I climbed back into the limo, noting it was still fairly early, and I would make good time to the office. All that drama and my day hadn’t even really started yet.

  “Carson, play something, anything.”

  “Yes, Ms. Scott.” Relief washed through me as classical piano came drifting through the speakers. I didn’t recognize it but was thankful it didn’t have the ability to jog any memories.

  He loves me. Now he loves me. Now he’s sorry. Now that he knows I’d been fucking his cousin. Was this some sick competition? I’d been so desperate for release, I’d begged him to fuck me only for it to turn into the most intense lovemaking I’d ever experienced, and by a man who reassured me time and again he wasn’t capable. I closed my eyes, trying desperately to erase his lips from my neck, his gentle tongue, his tender touch as he explored me. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes that coveted me, worshiped me. Why was he doing this to me? Why was I letting him?

  “FUCK!”

  Carson jumped in his seat, keeping his hands on the wheel as he eyed me in the rearview mirror. I put up the partition to avoid further embarrassment. Carson was no fool to my behavior after several of my encounters with Devin. He’d seen me silently cry, seen the evidence of our relationship in my appearance and behavior. If he hated Devin, he had a right to. Taylor had caught on as well. These people cared for me and showed as much in their contempt for him.

  And once again I’d let the devil have my body, lie to me with his gold dipped tongue—an upgrade from silver due to this morning’s thorough showcase.

  No, I wouldn’t believe him yet. I refused to. My mind won this round. But my pounding heart reminded me seein’ is believin’ and if Devin made good on his word…well, I would cross that bridge when I came to it. Even if it made me the biggest fool, even if it ended the rest of me, I was still very much in love with that man.

  And he loves me.

  Even obsessing over Devin, I felt the sadness creep in for the man who had accompanied me last night, held my hand, and promised me a dance I would never receive.

  Aiden.

  I shook my head in denial with the way it played out. Aiden hadn’t even given ending our relationship a second thought. But he was in the right.

  And I had, after all, just this morning bedded his cousin.

  Was I even capable of being faithful anymore?

  And even if I had denied Devin, I would have been faithful to a memory. Aiden ended it. I had no one to be faithful to. And yet, it still felt wrong. But being with Devin in those moments had never felt so right.

  Aiden wanted me, treasured me, and treated me so beautifully. There was a definite connection between us, sexually and emotionally.

  But I had to face the truth. Aiden and Devin were connected as well. And though I was dying of curiosity, I would probably never get the truth out of either of them. Devin had promised to tell me everything. And then asked that I hand over the land.

  Bastard.

  Was this what he was after? Jesus, would he go to such lengths to get his way? I wasn’t for sale. He could keep his sordid fucking tale, and he and his cousin could fight it out on their own. I would hold onto that land until my deathbed. It was priceless to me now. If Devin’s virtue were true, then he would have to prove it around his fucking agenda. I’d set this test and sit back.

  Yes, by all means, show me, Devin.

  I felt the bitterness surface. This was me jaded and afraid of myself, of him, and the damage of giving him another chance. I had no choice in my racing thoughts now, and my tortured heart felt completely ripped, torn pieces cracking continually for a different man. Is it even possible to love two men at once? My mind thought it incomprehensible, but my heart disagreed as it beat in my chest, reminding me that they both had a piece of it. I’d only scratched the surface with Aiden; perhaps that’s why I felt such an ache for him. With Devin, I’d learned what I’d lost, what I thought was an imaginary bond we shared. And this morning he was trying his best to convince me it was real.

  God, it felt so real. I scrubbed my face in disgust.

  Whatever game this was, in order to play, I had to get a grip.

  The sick, needy nymph I had turned into was ruling my life. My anger at myself brought me to one conclusion: love should not be this complicated. Fuck them both. I needed neither of them!

  Says the sated Nina.

  I took Carson’s hand as I stepped out of the limo, making my way into my building and stood frozen in reception.

  “AARON!” He turned with a knowing grin in my direction, and I went running into his waiting arms.

  “Oh, God, if you only knew how fucking happy I am to see you!” I wiped my tears away with one hand while hugging him furiously with my other arm still clasped around him, unafraid of my use of language. Genuine relief swept through me as I surveyed my brother. He looked so much better than the last time I’d seen him. He’d been heartbroken, and as a result, his smile hadn’t quite reached his eyes. But that all seemed irrelevant as his eyes beamed down at me now. It gave me hope.

  “What’s a matter, mutt?” He chuckled as he pulled away. Aaron was the spitting image of my father, thirty years younger with a Roman nose, blue eyes, and dark brown hair that was cropped short. He was a full foot and a half taller than me, but with a thin frame. I soaked in his favorite attire: collared polo, golf shorts, and loafers, which he lovingly referred to as his “gear.” It was a look he had mastered and hadn’t bothered to change since his teens.

  “Why didn’t you call?”

  “I just got in this morning. You were my first stop.” Aaron lived in Florida. He’d followed his college sweetheart out there when she landed her first real job, and when they broke up he’d stayed, claiming he loved it. I had begged him to come home, but I think it was more or less an excuse to stay away from our parents, and the fact that he’d held onto hope that they would reconcile.

  “Let me check in with Taylor, and we can leave. Come with me. You have to meet her.” We boarded the elevator, and I looked over at him.

  “How is Florida?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

  “Sunny all the time,” he bit out quickly. I would never get him to change his mind.

  “You’ve returned every check I’ve sent you. Accounting keeps asking me why I bother.” I nudged him roughly so he would look at me.

  “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m just so grateful you got Mom situated, though you shouldn’t have.”

  “I did it for Dad.” He nodded. “I know.” When the elevator door opened, Taylor was waiting on it.

  “Morning, bos—Nina.” She smiled, and I felt my brother stiffen next to me. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was fixated. Taylor was breathtaking. Today she wore a little racier attire. Her thigh high skirt accentuated her beautifully toned legs, along with killer heels. Her hair was left down and was the perfect shade of deep red that matched her lipstick. I had to admit, even I was taken aback by the siren who greeted us. We stepped out, and when I introduced them, Aaron was just slightly more formidable than a drooling idiot. Taylor gave him a small smile and boarded the now empty car.

  “Nice to meet you. I assume you will be spending the day with him?” Guilt quickly settled over me that again, I would be neglecting work.

  Taylor gave me a knowing smile. “You have nothing pressing. Go. I’ll reschedule the PA interview. I know you need this.”

  “Taylor,” I offered in apology.

  “Door’s closing,” she said, winking at Aaron who turned to me.

  “FUCK ME, FUCK ME, Nina. That i
s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!”

  “Tell you what? I have a hot assistant. Well, she’s technically not my assistant anymore. I made her partner.” Walking into my office, I looked back and saw my brother staring at the closed elevator. “She’s out of your league, bro.”

  Hearing an indignant “hmpf,” he turned and took a seat in my office. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “It’s not that, it’s that she’s really …” God, how to describe Taylor … “Independent.”

  “I dig that in a woman.”

  “Aaron, she’s not your type,” I said, trying to close the subject.

  “That’s not what I just saw.” Ignoring him, I opened my email and answered a few that had to be dealt with. I wasn’t losing this precious time with my brother.

  “I’m proud of you, Nina.” He was looking right at me as I peered over the screen.

  “Don’t be, if you only knew what I’ve turned into.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I continued. “I’ll make you proud.”

  Frowning, he pushed out a breath. “What’s going on, Nina?” Shaking my head, I hit send on my last email and looked up smiling.

  “Nothing.”

  “We are getting nowhere fast. You are as elusive as Mom right now.” Narrowing my eyes, I scolded him.

  “Don’t ever compare me to her.” It wasn’t a request.

  “Okay, well, stop pretending everything is okay when it’s not and talk to me.”

  “Geez, don’t you want ten minutes of normal? What about you? Why the sudden visit?” Shrugging, he stood up and walked around my office.

  “I don’t have another tournament for few weeks and wanted to see you. Do I need an excuse?” Aaron was a semi-pro golfer, and in his spare time, he worked odd jobs. He had a carefree life, and I suddenly envied that about him.

  “No, I’m sorry. I’m so happy you’re home.” Turning off my PC, I gathered my purse. “Come on. I’m all yours today. What should we do first?”

  “I have tee time at Dunes in two hours. I didn’t want to pass it up. How about breakfast?”

  “Come on! How long are you here?” I put my hands on my hips as he walked past me, knowing he was in the shit house.

  “Until Tuesday, so back off.” He pulled my arm off my hip to drag me back to the elevator. “We’ll hit the waves too while I’m here.”

  Aaron and I shared a deep mutual love for the water. We spent a good amount of time every summer at the beach together until I left for college. Still, I couldn’t help but feel the small tug in my chest at the memory of my last time in the water with Aiden.

  Twenty minutes later, we were seated at Poogan’s Porch, sipping coffee on the patio. It was just cool enough to be comfortable.

  Aaron looked over the menu with clear prejudice.

  “They have eggs and bacon, simpleton,” I piped as he gave me a wary eye.

  “I just don’t think it’s necessary to add all this shit to eggs.”

  “Then order eggs with no shit.” His lips curled up at the sides, and I knew I had him. I felt deep relief with my brother’s presence. Now this was a man who knew me. The uncorrupted pre-millionaire who was more preoccupied in bettering herself and whose hardest choice of the day was what to cook for dinner.

  We’d always got along. Instead of sibling rivalry, it was typically us against our parents. Though we’d had our fair share of fights, our collaboration of damn near emancipating ourselves from our parents was our common bond. We mutually agreed our mother was the true villain, but together blamed our father for not liberating us from her altogether.

  Aaron had developed a stammer when he was younger as a result of her. The more intense the house became with all the arguing, the worse it became. I coped by reciting the poem “Clooney the Clown”. Together we were a nervous poem reciting, stammering, fucking mess. To this day when I was truly terrified, I’d recite that poem. I also had an unnatural adverse reaction to any sort of sudden loud noise or yelling, hence my emergency stash of Xanax. I often wondered what lingering effects that hellish house had on my brother.

  Eventually, we became resentful enough to fight back with our indifference and tried to completely dissociate from them. It was just us, and we raised each other. As much as our father tried to keep the monsters at bay, his anger would win out and we would be stuck in the middle. We’d eventually forgiven our father and made a nonverbal commitment to simply tolerate and appease our mother for his sake. Secretly, I’d always hoped she would turn back into the loving and tolerant woman I’d known. A woman Aaron had never met. I knew her temperament for me now was money induced. Her kind, term of endearment “Ninabelle” made me cringe.

  Aaron had come a long way from the little boy who had frequent accidents in bed. He’d once been so terrified he couldn’t talk himself out of my mother’s wrath.

  I shook away the image of my baby brother trying to explain to my mother why he couldn’t get to the toilet.

  “M-M-M-Mommy, I’m s-sorry!”

  She would grip his arm hard, jerking him into the bathroom, screaming at him as she cleaned him. I physically cringed at the memory. I looked up now to the man across from me, thankful he’d never used her behavior as an excuse to treat others poorly, and never excused her behavior once he was old enough to know better. My brother was one of my heroes.

  “Stop staring at me. It’s fucking weird.” He looked up with a harsh glance as he sipped his coffee.

  “You’re so grown up,” I mused at him with pride.

  “Nina, I’m twenty-seven years old. I hit that mark a long time ago.” Rolling his eyes, he held out his cup to the waitress who filled it then sat back, looking at our limited view of Queen Street. “Okay, so spill it. Setting down his cup, he folded his arms on the table.

  “Nothing you need to know, honestly. A little man trouble, but nothing I can’t handle.”

  I was such a fucking liar. Still, this was my brother, and my shit had no place in his head.

  “Man trouble,” he snickered. “Well, I can’t imagine why, Nina. You pick the absolute worst men to fall for.”

  “Not true,” I defended as our plates were set in front of us.

  “Your first boyfriend was a total ass clown. What was his name? Trevor?”

  “Terry. He was nice, and if I remember correctly, he gave you one of his dad’s golf clubs.”

  After situating my coffee, I looked up and realized he was frowning about the food. “They put shit in my eggs.” I burst out laughing as he eyed the cilantro that had ruined his breakfast. He continued his assault on my history as he scooped the green off his plate. “Then there was your first serious boyfriend. I can’t remember his name. Oh yeah, it was ‘Oh, Nina. I love you, Nina. Oh, Nina.’“

  My face burned with the memory of my baby brother bursting into my first real make out session. Thank God we were still fully clothed.

  “Can we not dredge up the past, please?”

  “I hated Ryan, for the record,” he stated of my ex-husband, ignoring my plea and opting for toast, bypassing his eggs completely.

  “What about you, brat? It’s not like you have a great track record.” I stopped myself. His last breakup had hurt him in the way that can’t be joked about, and I apologized.

  “Me too. I shouldn’t have brought up Ryan.” He looked sincere, and I nodded, stirring my coffee with my spoon. “Is it Devin?” When I had introduced the two before Devin and I got involved, I could see he assumed there was something going on. “I liked him.”

  “You met him once.”

  “Even so, is it him?”

  “No,” I lied. “You know, Aaron, maybe we are destined to—”

  “Don’t even say it, Nina. We aren’t them, and we will never be.”

  Smiling, I agreed again without words. “I’ll buy you a house here.” He was shaking his head as the first two words spilled out. “They won’t even have to know.”

  “Nina, I love you. You
are the most important person in my life, but I refuse to live off of you. I want to find my own way. And hey, I’m not doing so bad, okay. Don’t worry about me. You will always have me, just not here. It’s Florida, golfer’s paradise.”

  “I’ll come to you then, and soon, okay. No more every six months shit. And we can’t count Christmas, except for last year when you sprinkled weed in Mom’s batch of Christmas cookies. That Christmas counts.”

  We both exploded with laughter as we recalled her sleeping the entire day, suddenly “exhausted” while Dad, Aaron, and I drank on the patio playing Yahtzee, free from her reign. It was the best Christmas ever.

  I paid the bill, and Aaron shoved money in my purse, cursing while giving me a disapproving eye. When we exited the tiny picket fence leading out into the street, I saw Aaron’s face contort in fear as he yanked at my arm hard and I was pulled off my feet. All I heard was a crunch and explosion of splintering wood. I felt an unbelievable throb in my side as I stared up at the blue sky, completely confused. I saw one head come into view then two, and soon I was screaming in pain.

  “Fuck, did you get the license plate?” one guy shouted to another.

  “No, they took off.”

  The next voice spoke directly to me. “It’s okay, ma’am. We just called an ambulance.”

  Panic caused my next scream to be directed toward my brother.

  “Aaron! Aaron!”

  “I’m here.” It was faint.

  I turned my head to see him lying on the ground a few feet away from me, his leg partially impaled as a result of a piece of wood from the fence. He looked at me helplessly as the burning in my hip spread. I was filled with panic as he closed his eyes and I begged him to keep them on me, which he did weakly.

  Sirens approached minutes later, and I was screaming again in discomfort as they lifted me into the back of the ambulance. As the doors closed, I tried searching for Aaron, but instead, I saw her.

  Sitting up without thinking, I pushed through the pain to get a clear look at her until the medics pinned me back down.