by Kate Stewart
It would be a long road to sleeping peacefully.
I was fine with the way things went down, except for what Nina had to witness. I’d meant it when I said I regretted falling for her. It led to her losing a piece of herself in the shed that night. Or maybe her meeting Aiden was just fate’s cruel way of reminding me what I had to do.
Either way, protecting her was motivation enough.
And now it was time for me to leave.
The boat swayed gently, reminding me I wasn’t quite finished with my prep. I was leaving in the morning before the three-day storm rolled in, which would only delay me further. I made my way to the bow, unpacking the rest of my supplies as I heard a loud thunk. I looked to my right and on the deck was a large tote I didn’t recognize.
“I packed two bikinis and my gun, but I’ll let your behavior determine in which order I use them.”
§§
Nina
Devin froze as I continued on. “You really aren’t good enough for me. You’re arrogant, selfish, and you have a horrible bedside manner. Were you even planning on saying goodbye?”
Devin turned to me, casually pulling the insides of his shorts pockets out, showing me the lint. “You really aren’t the best for me either, Nina. I’m bankrupt, homeless, and disowned. Oh, and you shot me.” I drank him in as he slowly walked toward me in his fitted t-shirt, his wavy hair a mess. He’d never looked better.
I waited patiently for him as I stood on the dock. When he finally stood, looking down at me, I bit my lip.
“I never did apologize for that. Sorry…for shooting you.”
Devin tilted his head with a frown. “That didn’t really seem sincere.”
“Well, maybe one day I’ll mean it.”
“Ouch,” he said with a chuckle.
“So do you have room for me, cowboy, or were you planning on riding into the sunset alone?”
He held out his hand, and I took it as he helped me onto the boat.
“I have room for this body, but we can leave your mouth in Charleston,” he taunted as I looked into his eyes. They were burning with relief and love.
“I’m sorry, Devin, that you lost your life to this,” I said sincerely. “And because of him.”
He cupped my face, rubbing his thumbs over my cheeks. “I think my life before all of this made me a little worse off, don’t you think?” I nodded. I saw the emotion in his eyes change to doubt. “Can you really do this with me?”
“God, Devin, if I could keep myself away and from loving you, it would be my greatest accomplishment. I’ll always be thankful I shot you at least once.”
His body shook with laughter as his hands stroked my face.
“I love you, Nina.”
“I know.”
He raised a brow. “You could have left the gun at home, you know.”
“I’m just being cautious. Sharks die by bullet.”
He would never get my metaphor.
He leaned in and took my lips. “So I guess you are a regular Annie Oakley now.”
“Who?”
“Jesus, have you ever opened one history book?” He looked down at me with a frown.
“Are we fighting already?” I asked with a smile. He took my lips again, kissing me softly before deepening the kiss, his velvet tongue moving slowly and seductively over mine. When he pulled away, I saw the fire in his eyes.
“Nina—”
“I have a present for you, but I can’t really give it to you until tomorrow.”
I saw the wheels turning and stopped him.
“It’s not that kind of present.”
“I’m intrigued,” he whispered, flicking his tongue out to taste my bottom lip. My already wet sex clenched as his hands molded to my shivering sides.
“You’ll just have to be patient,” I mused as he stopped his assault, pulling his hands away.
“Okay.”
After securing the deck, he guided me downstairs. It housed a large bed, a two person kitchen, and a single stall bathroom. Some of our best memories were made here and it was a damn good place to start over.
I studied the tiny bathroom, shaking my head at the tight space. I was a space snob now and had no problem admitting it. “Seriously, we are going to need a bigger boat.”
His arms snaked around me, and he leaned in, breathing in deep. “We’ll fit fine, you’ll see.”
I turned in the tiny space, kissing my way up the arm of his soft t-shirt, and started tracing the pink scar I’d left. Devin sighed as he watched me whisper kisses over the damaged skin.
“Devin,” I murmured.
“Yes,” he said, placing a kiss on my temple.
“What the fuck are you waiting for?” He pulled back, confusion on his face, then let the fire back into his eyes. Seconds later, we were both naked and furiously kissing. His tongue tasted my mouth, my neck, my nipples as he barked orders. He turned me around, his hand coming down hard on my flesh, and his fingers fucking me ruthlessly. I felt my body spark back to life when his thick cock brushed my entrance. He stopped suddenly as I stood, lost to his touch, waiting for him.
“Devin?” I waited and got nothing.
“Devin?” I turned to face him to see his eyes swimming with anger and pain. He was thinking of Aiden. I didn’t need to have him clarify. I could see it in his broken features. It was the same look he gave me when he saw us at the club. “I’m sorry.” I stood, bared before him, seeing the deep hurt I’d caused him. “. He wasn’t you.”
“No, Nina,” he scolded as his eyes closed tightly. “Don’t.”
“Open them, Devin.”
He opened them slowly, and I saw the rawness in them. “I should have believed you. I should have listened, and I should have waited when you asked me to.” Devin punched at the wall behind my head and kept his angry face an inch from mine.
“You gave your body to him!” He started to pull out of my arms as I gripped him closer.
“I’m sorry. I love you, Devin.” His eyes swam as he gripped my throat, smearing his thumb over my lips.
“What the fuck did I do to us, Nina?”
“You tried to save me…again, and I made it hard…again, but I am asking you not to stop, Devin. This time I’ll let you. I need you to save me. I need you to help me remember who I am.”
“Did you love him? Do you?”
“He wasn’t you.” And it was the truth. I’d never let myself completely fall for Aiden. It had always been Devin, and it always would be.
He took my mouth in a passionate kiss and kept us connected, laying me down on the bed. I writhed under him as he moved over me, positioning his cock at my entrance. I moaned as I traced his chiseled chest, admiring the lines and curves of him. He hovered above me, not trusting himself with his anger still raw.
“Do it,” I begged. With one thrust of his long, thick cock, I was at his mercy. It was time for punishment, and with Devin, I would take anything he dished out.
“Fuck…fuck, why, Nina?!” he pushed out, his voice twisted in agony, thrusting into me harder and harder. I could see the emotions fighting in him. Anger, hurt, love, lust, all played a part as he tore into me, punishing me, loving me, forgiving me.
He gripped my neck, forcing me to face his wrath and his angry fucking. I let go, bursting at the seams and reaching for him. Gripping my hips, he slammed our bodies together, and my orgasm escalated as I screamed his name. It lasted forever, and I felt like I would never come down. Devin turned me on my side and joined me on the bed from behind, lifting my leg and pushing into me again, massaging my clit. I reached my arms back, grabbing onto his head and pulling him closer as his thick, hard cock pulsed and filled me to the brink. I would never get close enough. He kept his lips on me, kissing me furiously as he fucked me slowly, his arm circled around me, pulling me tightly to him.
“Feel that cock, Nina. It’s yours, you own it, and I own the pussy that’s holding it.”
“Yes,” I murmured as I tilted my head up to kiss him. He darted hi
s tongue out, and I met it with mine as they entwined and danced, his cock twitching, his release coming fast.
“I need all of you,” he said, pulling out and rubbing my back entrance.
“Please, Devin.”
His finger plunged into my soaked core, pulling out an orgasm as he slipped inside, filling my ass with his girth.
“What am I doing, Nina?”
“Taking what’s yours,” I said heatedly.
He quickened, his hand still teasing my clit. “I need to possess it all. All of you.”
“It’s all yours.” He came hard at my words, a loud rumbling moan escaping his chest as he continued moving through it. I took his release as my body shuddered. He pulled away from me long enough to turn out the light then returned, wrapping himself around me. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke first, “Fuck, I thought I’d lost you.”
“I thought I’d lost me, too.”
“You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world and you’ll only really ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love. And don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.”
― Jim Carrey
§§
I woke up to the sway of the boat, knowing we were well on our way. I joined him on deck, and his smile was devastating and welcomed. He pulled me into his arms as I looked around us. There was nothing but sea.
“How far off the coast are we?” I asked as he rubbed my nipples through my thin shirt with his thumbs, completely uninterested in my question.
“A few miles. We’ll stay close.”
I looked at the brightening horizon, excited about our trip, and for the first time, our future. I turned to Devin, who gave me an inquisitive look. “What?”
“Are you ready for your present?”
“Sure?” He lifted the question as he looked at my t-shirt and shorts, noticing I had nothing on me.
My gift didn’t have a damn thing to do with any material possession. It had nothing to do with the past or our history. It was no sentimental trinket that represented our time together. It had nothing to do with wealth or lack thereof. It was a simple thing, really. Just an honest reminder that no matter what the hell you’ve done, there is always a chance to make things right as long as you have breath in your lungs. My present to Devin was a new chance for us to start over, to live in the now without the burdens or guilt from what we’d done. I was sure he would declare me crazy when I announced my gift was “Monday.”
Acknowledgements
Anne Morrillo, my UK best friend. You pushy, pushy bugger! You are an amazing friend. Thanks for pushing me when you weren’t satisfied. Only you can get away with it because you know me so damn well, and when I have more to give you make sure to press it out of me. I love you for that.
Stacy Hahn, you are the epitome of what a friend should be. I’m sorry you got stuck with me (LOL). I would be so lost without you.
To my amazing PA’s Bex and Christy-Thank you so much for dealing with my shit and supporting me. You are my rocks.
Julie Kerchof (seriously, Julie, you make me happy), Lina Linalove, Cindy Gordanier, Robert Williamson, Heather Orgeron, Jessica Call, and the rest of mycrew., thank you so much. It’s just amazing to have you rocking my books daily. Your support means everything.
Christine from The Hype PR’s, thank you so much for teaching me the art of finesse, and for all of your amazing help.
Yamara Martinez, I’ll always need your brutal honesty and gentle way of holding my hand. You amaze me with your patience. I love you and thank you.
Daizy Zorman, you rock my socks off. Thank you for loving me and my dysfunction.
And to all the bloggers who have given this new series a chance and have taken the time to post a review, thank you so much. I really can’t believe how lucky I am.
For Malene Dich.
You will never know how many times you’ve saved me.
There were a few things I knew about who I was and two words that described me: order and excellence. It was not vanity that led me to confess this but fear. For as long as I’d been in charge of my own life, those two things have kept me motivated, kept me breathing.
I could blame the way I was on the way I had been received into the world. I wasn’t born in a hospital. No, my mother assured me I was born in the crosshairs of gunfire—in “a spray of bullets.” She would remind me every year we didn’t celebrate my birthday. And every day of my life, she encouraged me to believe I would go out the way I came in.
For some reason, I had always believed her.
She was my mother after all. I lived in a constant state of fear the first ten years of my life. Every gunshot I heard I assumed was a warning specifically for me that my time was coming. The fear consumed me, was ingrained in me, and made my already desperate situation a hell that I had to dwell in until my escape.
As soon as the realization hit me that I didn’t have to become a product of my mother’s greasy fucking environment, I turned the tables on my pre-destined fate she cursed me with.
That’s when I discovered order, cause, and effect. You see, I watched them. I’m good at that. I observed and interpreted. I’d always prided myself on knowing the good from the bad, and how to read people.
I’d been wrong only once, and I intended on keeping it that way. I had a past that kept me in shackles until I freed myself with excellence. It was my camouflage, my way of escape.
I became bulletproof.
Those eyes…those fucking dark eyes were the reason for my trip, but if it didn’t pan out this time and I didn’t get his attention, I was giving up.
Look at you, Taylor Ellison, obsessing over a man.
And I should have been ashamed. I’d done everything in my power to get his attention without being too obvious. When my friend Violet had introduced me to The Rabbit Hole—a sex club just outside of Savannah—I’d been excited about the prospect of having my own Rhys, my own version of her beloved husband. He was a strong Dom with a good heart that treated her well. I didn’t want to have exactly what she had. But I did want something of my own.
I’d been working my ass off for so long that I’d almost lost sight of having a life completely. I needed more than an impressive bank account and a set of fast cars. Though I’d reached my goal, I knew I needed something more to be satisfied. Months of worthless visits to The Rabbit Hole had turned my excitement into dread. I had frequented it in hopes of finding a man to suit my sexual taste. Nothing too crazy, but just to be sated would be enough for now. I’d fucked a few too many that led to dead ends.
I’d all but given up, until I saw him.
He was there each time I went, often alone at a table, sipping his drink, sometimes with friends. I’d seen him come and go, but he had never taken on a member of the club. While there, he’d never visited the private rooms. The first time we made eye contact, I saw the recognition in his. There was a spark, an amount of heat. Something was there.
Maybe I was obsessing out of boredom. I closed my eyes tight in frustration as I sat in my car facing the double doors of the club.
This was it. If it didn’t happen tonight, I might have to find a date the old fashioned way.
But that was part of the problem. I didn’t date. I wasn’t good at the getting to know you aspect of the evening. I liked the fucking portion and had always preferred to get to that. I very much had the dating mentality of a twenty-one-year-old man—casual sex and nothing serious, no attachments, that sort of thing. I wasn’t against those in love and actually saw myself going down that road a time or two. I’d been hurt by a man I had affection for, and I was sure I would eventually try that again with the right person. But now, I was just restless. I needed a partner who understood my needs, my body. I’d been settling for far too long.
In my most figure revealing dress, I walked into The Hole and was greeted by Tara, a nice enough bartender who had often tried to strike up a conversation with me. It was obvious she swung both ways, which was fine, but
not for me. I had serious issues when it came to women. I couldn’t stand ninety-nine percent of them. I guess you could say I was a tad bit of a misogynist. I preferred, and had always preferred, the company of men, whether as friends or fuck buddies.
It had a lot to do with my mentality. I didn’t find the conversations interesting, or the unnecessary drama appealing. I didn’t talk about feelings, or revel in a good pair of shoes. I’d tried—really, I had—but women weren’t especially receptive to my brand of honesty. The kind that wasn’t sugarcoated and saved time.
The only woman I had let even remotely close to knowing me, aside from Violet, was my work partner, Nina. She was the exact type of woman I most loathed when I met her: pretentious, all about appearance and image, and had an unnatural fascination with shoes. I never saw us becoming close, but ever since all that went down in her personal life, and because she had been so genuinely good to me, I had let her in a little. She had changed so drastically in the two years I’d known her.
Sitting at the bar now with a crisp chardonnay, I couldn’t help but be happy for her, if not a little envious. In the last few months, my friend Nina had come through a personal hell that would break most women. She had finally found her peace and was now benefiting from the release of her struggle. While she was off on what could only be described as a new beginning, I was pining for a man I hadn’t uttered a single word to.
He’s not here, Taylor.
He’d always taken the table in the corner behind the frosted glass. The first time I’d seen him, I’d rapidly drank him in. He was tall, that much I knew from his stature in the oversized seating of the club. His inky hair was slightly long and styled back to cradle his ridiculously beautiful face. He had naturally dark skin. I guessed him to be of Hispanic descent. His attire was impeccable and mainly consisted of double-breasted suits. His pleasure at the club seemed to be to sit back and observe. I liked that. It was a habit I had formed myself.
I pushed out a disappointed breath as I sipped my wine. It was time to let Mr. Mysterious go. The last time I’d seen him, we’d locked eyes for several minutes, neither of us turning away until he was approached by a beautiful brunette that left his table shortly after she had stopped. I refused to believe he was gay. I couldn’t see it, couldn’t fathom it. Not this man.
