by Kate Stewart
“Not that you give a shit. Get. I’ve got this.” He pulled forward, blocking me and waiting while the car idled. I walked past it without a second glance.
“Hardheaded, get in the car!”
“Not with you hyped up on that shit!” He opened the door and rushed me, pulling at my hand and placing the keys in it.
“Then you drive,” he offered, his head hung. “I just want you home safe.”
“I don’t know how,” I said weakly.
“No time like the present.” Without another word, he walked to the passenger side of the car, opened the door, and took the seat. He’d recently bought the car from Cedric’s grandfather. It was an old Thunderbird that looked like a scrapyard project but ran like a dream. I walked slowly to the driver’s side, sure he would change his mind at any moment. When he didn’t object, I adjusted my seat and took the wheel. Hiding my smile, I pulled onto the ever-deserted road that led into town and floored it, elated. Laz’s smile widened with every turn I took. It took me only minutes to learn how to maneuver the car, and with Laz’s occasional instruction, I was driving with ease. I drove for hours as he spoke of our life after we left Dyer. Of the places he would take me before we settled down somewhere like California or Florida. It seemed he’d been dreaming of our escape as much as I had, and I couldn’t stifle my excitement as I parked at our pond. I had only a few hours before sunrise, and I knew it would be another tired day at school, but the talk and the drive were enough to keep me awake just a little longer as I listened to what my new life would be like.
“We can go anywhere, really.”
“I want to go to college, Laz.”
I turned to face him as the call of a thousand amphibians echoed through the dark night and all around us Led Zeppelin preached softly in the background.
“Come ’ere,” Laz ordered as he pulled me into his lap to straddle him. I hesitated, knowing the moment was already tainted. He was high, and I hated it.
“You’re high.”
“High on you. Do you trust me?” He threaded his fingers through my hair as I nodded my reply.
“Let me touch you,” he said heatedly as he pressed his lips to mine. I kissed him reluctantly at first and then thought of the moments that had led us to the one we were in. I thought of how he’d always cared for me, protected me. Loyalty led me to return the kiss as his hands drifted low. I let him unbutton my pants and sneak a finger beneath my panties as my body became warmer to his touch.
Breaking our kiss, he whispered, “I want to give you something.” I gasped in surprise as he dipped a finger inside me and brought it up, massaging me. Sensation blossomed deep in my belly as he rubbed me continually while his lips explored my neck.
“Touch me, beautiful,” he pleaded as I gasped and bucked, meeting his finger. I reached for the bulge beneath me and hiccupped in surprise when I unbuttoned his pants and he bared himself. Lost in sensation, I gripped him with my fist and pulled hard.
“Fuck, I can’t wait to put it here,” he whispered as his finger dipped in and out while his thumb kept rhythm. I felt the surface of something and paused on his lap.
“It’s okay, baby. Go with it,” he murmured as I gripped him hard, sweat building on my forehead and running down my back.
“Oh…Laz. Oh, I…oh,” I gasped as the feeling reached the top and boiled over. Every limb shook as he laid me down on the seat and moved his fingers faster while I quaked beneath him.
“You are so fucking pretty.” Kissing my lips gently, he pushed himself into my hand, encouraging me to move again. I looked up at him with wide eyes as I stroked him, watching his face contort.
“I’m so fucking hard,” he hissed as I worked my arm faster and harder until he stilled, spilling thick and hot down my hand.
“Baby, fuck. Baby, I love you.”
I felt the knot form in my throat as he ruined it for us both. He was high, and I didn’t know if it was him or the meth talking. I refused to give him the reply I’d always wanted to because of it. Suddenly, I was furious. I left him with a short goodbye before making my way home. I didn’t want to hear those words from him. Not that way. He’d taken that from me. I cried as I crawled into bed, knowing deep down that he hadn’t really chosen me.
“She’s a beauty,” the grease-ball pumping my gas remarked while surveying my ’78 Chevelle. I’d spared no expense on the candy apple red paint, the refinished leather seats, and what lay beneath the hood. Of all my cars, it was my favorite. It was sleek; it reeked of recklessness and spoke for itself on the open road.
“Thanks,” I said dryly, completely uninterested in the envy covering his features. When he turned to me with a mustard toothed smile, I cringed. “The car isn’t so bad, either.”
“How much do I owe you?” I asked, pulling cash from my pocket.
“Depends. You want full service?” His suggestive tone disgusted me. I was sure he hadn’t seen a toothbrush…ever.
“Nope, just the gas.” I was somewhere between Knoxville and Nashville and had absently chosen to get gas in bum fucked Egypt. More afraid for my sister than the creepy eyes the man made at me, I handed him fifty dollars and headed to the driver’s seat with the belated realization that stretching my legs had been a mistake.
“Jack, come out here. You have got to get your eyes on this one.” I sighed deeply knowing that the state I was in was far from hospitable. I willed the man coming toward the vehicle to do the right thing, but the second I saw his greasy hair and toothy, knowing grin widen, I knew he’d made his decision. He wanted either me or the car, or both, and I wouldn’t put it past either of them to try and take what didn’t belong to them.
“Come on, honey, show us what’s under the hood,” Greasy Jack prompted as I strapped on my belt.
“I’m in a hurry, fellas. Maybe on my way back through.” I jumped as Greasy reached in the driver’s side, popping the hood. He smelled of liquor and piss, and I had to turn my head away to keep from gagging. As soon as the hood was lifted, I leaned in my glove box and grabbed Leroy—short for Leroy Brown, the most lethal of my guns—unlocked the safety then stuffed him into the back of my pants. I exited my car and rounded the hood to see them peering inside.
“Like I said, I’m in a hurry. Close the hood please and I’ll be on my way.”
“She’s in a hurry, Cody. You hear that?”
Fuck.
I maintained my patience as the two men began to fidget with the motor. I watched them like a hawk to make sure they weren’t trying to keep me immobile as I glanced around the deserted area. There were no cars coming in either direction, and it seemed to just be the two of them.
I wasn’t afraid; I was annoyed and finally made it known.
“I paid. I’m done here. Close the hood.” Cody looked up at me with a sneer.
“Calm your attitude, girl. We haven’t seen one of these ’78s before, I’m guessin’.”
“Good guess. Take a picture if you want,” I snapped, “And please, shut my fucking hood.”
No longer able to control my rising temper when the two didn’t move, I lifted my hand to close the hood when Greasy Jack gripped it tight.
“You don’t want this fight,” I warned as they gave each other a look and then burst out laughing.
“No, baby, we don’t want to fight you. We just want a taste. Why not take us for a ride?”
I lifted a brow. “You have a business to run, and I have business to attend to. What is it going to take to leave here?”
He pulled my hand he was gripping toward his stiffening cock. “How about a little—”
Before he had a chance to finish, I ripped my hand away and lifted Leroy inches from his smug face. The look of surprise was quickly replaced by panic as Cody took a step back and declared loudly, “I think I’m in love.”
“I’m tired. I’ve had a long day. Cody, what do you say we close the hood and let me on my way?”
“Sounds good to me, darlin’.” He shut the hood and gave Greasy Jack a n
od. “Best do what she says, Jack.”
I saw the scenarios race through Jack’s three-celled brain as he eyed my finger on the trigger. “Don’t be stupid. I promise you, I’m not worth the trouble.” Jack’s Hyde surfaced as he lunged for me, and I whipped the side of his face with my pistol-clad hand. He howled with fury as he hit his knees and covered his newly broken nose.
“I’ll be on my way, then,” I hissed, kicking Jack hard in the back so he went down on all fours.
“Don’t be a stranger.” Cody looked on in amusement as I started the Chevelle, taking off like a bat out of hell.
I’d told Nina months ago that I’d come from a place of dirt and metal grass and even compared Tennessee to the Wild West. But I was certain as I left the situation behind me I was a magnet for trouble, and even more so a beacon for evil men. I knew after years of being away that men like the two I’d just left behind didn’t exist to most women of the world. I’d stopped at a shady gas station in the middle of nowhere because it wasn’t intimidating to me. It felt like home. It felt like Dyer.
It was just the kick in the ass I needed to remind me of what I was about to face.
Men like Greasy Jack and Cody were exactly the type of people I hated most. Their sense of entitlement to take what didn’t belong to them fueled me past anger. They’d probably never worked for anything a day in their life, and yet they felt they had to right to corner me into giving them whatever they decided to take. It took all my willpower not to turn around and put a life-altering hole into each of them.
More dangerous anger brewed as I thought of how Laz had demanded my appearance with a phone call. As if I owed him something.
He’d made his bed, and I had nothing to do with it. He’d want my money, some sort of control over me, this I was sure of, and he would use my sister as a bargaining chip. This I was prepared for.
I’d never taken anything that didn’t belong to me but my freedom, and even when I took that I’d felt like I was doing something wrong. My life had never been my own until the day I’d left Dyer and fled into the waiting arms of Ray Tyco.
But he too was a different kind of evil. A selfish sinner disguised as a saint. Cold and calculating. An angry king.
And now with Daniello, I was dealing with the same selfish demon.
Burning road, I raced through the night with more resentment fueling me and keeping me alert. I looked at the dash clock.
Soon.
“It’s been months! Where is the money, Laz?” I stood in the same disgusting motel room staring at stained maroon carpet as he finished his shower. We hadn’t had sex yet, an issue he hadn’t pushed, and I wasn’t comfortable enough with him sexually to confront him while he was naked. He’d been preoccupied anyway, with his new obsession.
“You have to spend money to make money. Just give me a little more time.” His words were empty and carried little weight with his tone.
“I think you like it. No, you love it. People crowding around you like you are somebody. You can’t keep doing this, Laz. You’ll get caught, and I’ll lose my mind.”
“I won’t,” he snapped, exiting the bathroom naked. I averted my eyes as he stood in front of me, water dripping down his every limb. I felt a stir in that moment. Laz was beautiful and sought after by most of the girls in town. He had grown into a muscular body and a perfectly masculine face. His blue eyes shone brightly in contrast to his dark brown hair. I felt him slipping away from me daily as older girls with more voluptuous bodies eyed me with distaste as we made our rounds around town. I knew I needed to stake my claim. I knew eventually he’d want all of me, but I knew I wasn’t ready. He was lying to me constantly, and I didn’t want to reward him with the last piece of me.
“Look at me, Red.”
“No, put some clothes on!”
“How about you take yours off?” he whispered, plucking the strap of my sundress.
“Laz,” I said with a shaky voice.
“I love you, and I know you love me. You are just too hardheaded to admit it. I’ve been patient with you, baby, haven’t I?”
“Yes.” He took my hand and led me to the bed. “I’m going to teach you how to touch me, how to suck me.”
Face to cock, I looked up at him with wide eyes.
“Wet your lips,” he said gently, rubbing his fingertips over them. I stared at his hard dick, completely intimidated.
He cupped my face and rubbed his fingers back and forth lovingly across my skin. It felt beautiful, and his touch made me feel even more so. It was like a drug the way he looked at me. I found my resolve crumbling as his eyes pleaded with mine.
“I want you so much,” he whispered as I opened my mouth timidly and took him inside it.
“That’s it, Taylor. You are so fucking beautiful.” He smiled down at me as he gripped my hair, pushing and pulling me as I took more of him inside. “That’s good…ah…that’s perfect.”
Something inside me snapped, and I moaned as I worked him harder, clenching his hardness tightly between my lips. Nothing about it felt wrong, and I felt his body tense as I sucked harder, moved my tongue faster.
“Jesus,” he whispered as he gripped me tighter, pulling me to him. “Let go,” he ordered as I jerked my mouth away and he fisted his release on the bed. He lay down and pulled me to him in that disgusting room, and I felt the world fall away as we spent a few minutes in quiet.
“I love that no one else has kissed you, touched you the way I have. I’ll wait as long as it takes for the rest.”
I nodded in thank you as he put me at ease. “I’m fucking up, Taylor. I know I am. It stops now. I only want you.” I nodded as happy tears fell and wrapped myself around him as we listened to the rain fall outside.
“We’ll leave on your birthday.”
I sobbed into his chest in relief as he held me to him. I wanted to tell him in that moment that I loved him. I’d decided to wait until the minute we pulled out of Dyer for good, but I never got the chance.
Two weeks before my birthday, I found Laz pacing the motel with fury on his face.
“We’ve been robbed. We can’t leave!”
Every bit of hope I’d had fell into a large pool of despair as I watched him carefully. He was using again and heavily. I blanketed the loss of Laz, unable to deal with my shattered heart, and played into his game, though I knew he was lying.
I hadn’t taken enough to stifle our trip out of town.
“By who?”
“If I fucking knew that,” he seethed, “I wouldn’t be standing here!”
I played devil’s advocate. “Okay, so who knew where you kept the money?”
“Me,” he snapped as he grabbed his keys off of the table.
“I’m coming with you.”
“The hell you are.” He turned to me with contempt. “Go home, little girl, and do your homework.”
Tears built up quickly but I pushed them down in lieu of lashing out.
“This ‘little girl’ has been by your side for months, selling meth, helping you steal, and watching you wreck yourself. As far as I’m concerned, it was my money, too.” The truth was I was terrified of his retaliation and who it might be directed at. I’d known for the last two weeks that Laz had no plans of leaving Dyer anytime soon. Cedric had told me as much when I had met him to pick up Laz’s last paycheck. They’d had a falling out on the job due to Laz’s lack of appearance and Cedric was done covering for him. I was, too.
It was time to admit the truth to myself. I’d told Cedric I was leaving, and he had tried to talk me into waiting for him, but I had already learned not to trust anyone but me.
Meth had brought misery and claimed every single person in my life, and now it was destroying Laz. I couldn’t afford to be selfish and wallow in my despair. I had to do something and fast. I’d called Child Protective Services on my parents twice in the last three months, and we had yet to get an initial visit. I wanted Amber out of that house before I left, but I was failing miserably. When I realized Laz wasn
’t leaving, I’d watched his every move to find his stash spot. I’d only helped myself to enough to get me far out of Dyer. I’d left the majority of the money.
I was leaving without him.
I’d betrayed him, but he’d lied to me long enough. He was caught in the world I was desperate to escape, and I couldn’t save him.
“I’m not going to get in your way. I just want to—”
He began shaking his head before I’d even finished. “It’s too dangerous. Just go home, okay?”
“No, to hell with that, Laz. I’m coming, deal with it.”
“RED! GODDAMNIT!” He rushed me then lifted his hand as if he was going to strike.
I saw it then, the side Laz had purposefully kept hidden from me. It was a brutal realization and struck harder than his hand ever could have. I took a step back, fearful, but kept his eyes.
“I’m coming, deal with it.”
Furious, he gave me a deathly look I ignored until he pulled out of the motel parking lot.
“You have your piece?” I nodded, unable to miss the agitation in his voice. I’d been carrying my father’s gun with me everywhere for months. I pulled the small gun out of my hoodie and flashed a part of the metal to him.
“When we get there, you don’t say a word. Just let me handle it, okay?”
“Where are we going?”
“To make a deal.”
I sat quietly as he pulled up to an old, abandoned school that desperately needed to be condemned. We made our way through the loosely boarded back door, and I looked around us, terrified. There were kids my age, some younger, and adults alike hitting the glass hard and oblivious to those around them. Laz had taken me to a smoke house.
I glanced up at him in question, and he warned me with a clenched jaw to remain silent.
“Laz,” I heard a voice call and turned to see a blonde a little bit older than me with vacant eyes walk over to him with a smile. “I’ve been saving myself for you,” she purred, completely ignoring me and running her hand up and down his chest. Her clothes were filthy, and she would have been beautiful if it weren’t for the fact that she was grossly thin and had a veil of meth covering her features.
