by Kate Stewart
As if I was an afterthought, she looked over at me. “You don’t mind sharing him, do you? We had one hell of a good time last weekend.”
Cringing with the weight of the blow, I looked to Laz, who pushed her away as if she was full of venom.
“Fuck off, Trina. This is not the time.”
“You know where to find me,” she piped happily as she saw the devastation on my face. She’d made her point and accomplished her mission. All the loyalty I had for him died in that moment as I gagged on the realization that everything he’d ever told me was a lie.
I ignored the stabbing pain as I followed him down a long hallway filled with dilapidated and unhinged lockers. It was eerily dark, and I could barely see a few feet in front of me. It irked me that Laz cruised around the halls with ease. Obviously, this place was something else he’d been keeping from me. Laz knocked on a door that read Asst. Principal and I waited with bated breath to see who would answer.
We didn’t wait long as the door was ripped open and a menacing guy with a crew cut and a map of tattoos covering every inch of his skin greeted us with contempt.
“Laz,” he said, looking past him to stare at me. “Who is this?”
“This is my girl, Red.”
The guy raised his brows in question. “Long time knowing you, never mentioned a girl.”
“Didn’t need to. Rudy seeing people? I need a word.”
“He’s in a mood today, make it quick.” Laz nodded and walked into the office, shutting the door behind him and leaving me with Crew Cut. I ignored his open stare as I looked around.
“I’m Jay. You want a hit?” He extended the foil and glass my way, and I shook my head. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
Leaning against the office door, I strained to hear anything I could and got nothing. Jay looked me over as I waited patiently for Laz to make his deal.
“You don’t look like the type of girl Laz would get with,” he mused as I crossed my arms over the tits he’d decided to concentrate on.
“I’m not, and I’m not his girl.” The floor was covered in a mix of trash, gravel, and broken glass, which I assumed were used pipes. I couldn’t imagine choosing to spend my time in a place like this. And suddenly I wanted no part of whatever plans Laz had. I wanted out, and I wanted out now. Whomever he decided to blame the missing eight hundred dollars on was entirely on him. He’d have no proof. His actions would be his own. I was leaving, and I was doing it soon.
And then, when I was feeling the most helpless, the most desperate, I remembered the card taped to my dresser. Suddenly, the door opened behind me, and I stumbled as Laz’s arms caught me. He gripped me tightly, leading me out of the school and to the car.
“Red, about what you heard,” he started to explain as he turned the key. “It’s not true.”
“No, it is true. You fucked her and forgot that you loved me. I wasn’t giving you what you needed, so you got it someplace else. And that isn’t why this is over.”
He hit his steering wheel repeatedly in fury before turning to me. I didn’t give two shits about the reason why he had so much anger. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was because he got caught. He took a deep breath and turned to me. “It’s not over. I love you.”
“It is over, and it has been. We can’t be who we were anymore. I can’t save you and you sure as hell are in no shape to save me. We both failed.”
“No,” he whispered as he read my expression. He knew it then that I was the one telling the truth.
“If you think I’m just going to let this go, think again,” he said coldly as he made his way back to the hotel. “It’s always going to be you and me against the world, Red. Always. You need to remember that.”
I stayed quiet, knowing he didn’t even believe his own words anymore.
“Ray Tyco.”
I fumbled with the cord and went completely blank as I contemplated hanging up.
After a bout of silence, he tried again. “Hello?”
“Ray, it’s me, Taylor Ellison. You…gave me your card.” I looked around the motel lobby nervously, knowing Laz was in a sleep coma after being up for several days.
“I remember you, Harvard.”
“You said—”
“I know what I said.”
“I’m ready to leave. I-I need to leave.”
I heard glasses clink and assumed he was in a fancy restaurant surrounded by other wealthy diners as he spoke in a hushed tone.
“I’ll come for you.”
“No,” I pushed out loudly. “Don’t do that. I’ll come to you. I just need to know where I’m going.”
“Tell me something, Taylor. Do you still want Harvard?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation.
“Then that’s where you are going.” Tears slid down my face as I did my best to keep it together. Last night, I had watched my mother tear Amber apart for spilling bleach on our twenty year old carpet. I’d prayed for the first time in my life for her death.
“Taylor?” He was now surrounded by silence as I tried to keep the shakiness out of my voice.
“Please, just tell me where to go.”
Salvation from my situation came at a price I never thought I could afford. Days seemed endless without Laz, who had only attempted to mend fences with me once. It only reaffirmed what I already knew. His new life as the kingpin had taken the place of our life, the one we were supposed to have.
I’d decided the night of my eighteenth birthday to see him one last time. I was going to wait until the last minute to break it to Amber, who I was sure would never forgive me, but decided against that confrontation altogether. She would cry and beg me to stay, and I couldn’t afford to back out at the last minute for my sanity alone. On the day I left Dyer, I replaced the books in my backpack with clothes and attended one last day of school. I walked the shorter distance from the school to the motel without bothering to look around at the outdated buildings and the bone-dry landscape. I waited until nightfall in front of the motel door and was just about to give up and head for Memphis when he pulled up. He shut his car door, stuffing his hands in his pockets as I stood slowly, trying to assess his mood. His face gave nothing away.
“I’m leaving.”
“No you aren’t,” he snapped as he approached the door.
“Laz, I just came to say goodbye. I got a really prestigious scholarship to this prep school, and I’ve taken it.”
It was another lie. Something I was getting entirely too good at. The truth was, I was leaving to run to a man I’d had one conversation with, who promised the same thing Laz had failed to deliver: freedom from Dyer, from my mother, from the hell on earth I’d been living in for the past seventeen years.
Laz dug his nails into my arm and pulled me inside the room.
“You think you can just fucking leave me? You think I’ll let you?”
“You made your decision, so I made mine,” I snapped. “You lied to me. We were never in this together. For all I know, you used my feelings for you to get me to help you rob my dad!”
It was if I had slapped him. Hurt in his deep blue eyes, he shook his head in disbelief.
“The only fucking thing I have ever done is protect you, and you didn’t need to know everything. It was better that you didn’t.”
“Like the fact that you were selling meth before juvie? That you were slipping my mom a bag so you could take me with you at night?” It was one of the secrets Cedric told me. I worried about that confrontation.
Shock was all I saw as he gawked at me.
“I’m not an idiot, Laz, and you have done far more bad than good when it comes to me, so spare me the righteous ‘It was all for you’ act. The truth is, things changed, you got selfish. And while I’ve been helping you, I’ve been living in the same hell. Maybe you’d forgotten that, maybe you don’t fucking care. Either way, I realized it was up to me.”
“I got robbed. I told you it would take more time,” he said weakly.
“I took your fucki
ng money,” I snapped. “It was the last thing you taught me. Look out for number one.”
In two steps, he was in front of me. I heard the slap before I felt it. Face burning, I cried out in pain, palming my cheek as I stood again from being knocked off my feet.
“Fucking bitch, you stole from me?” Time slowed unbearably as I looked for the boy I loved, once lived for, only to realize he was gone.
“You lied to me! Cheated on me and used me to peddle your filthy fucking drugs!” Rage burned through me from the years of hell I’d endured, believing in him, in us, in what we had.
“Where is it?” he said, unaffected by my words as he began to pat me down.
“Go to hell!” I screamed as he threw me on the bed and pinned me.
“Maybe I’m there, Red,” he spat over me, his large, terrifying pupils a sign of every monster I’d ever faced. “Maybe this is hell, and maybe I’ll get a better seat or earn my keep by taking what I should have from you a long time ago.”
On his knees, he ripped at my jeans as I kicked him hard in the stomach.
“Fucking bitch,” he roared as he reared back and braced his hands above my face.
“Do it. Make it easier on me,” I challenged. Boiling over, I couldn’t stop the anger, and I let it take me over.
He looked at the red he’d already stained on my face and broke. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. But I can’t let you leave, Red. I can’t.”
I pulled my piece out of my hoodie and pointed it at him. Never in all our years together had I ever thought it would come to this. What we’d just done could never be undone. We’d just hit a whole new level of fucked up. Everything inside me screamed for me to stop, that the person I had the gun trained on was Laz, that he loved me and would never hurt me. Still, I let the anger win and kept it on him as I backed away from the bed and he sprang to his feet.
“You stupid fucking slut! Who the fuck do you think you are! You are no better than me! If you leave me like this, I will find you. I will kill you.”
“You won’t find me, Lazarus, and do you know why? Because you won’t have any idea where to look.”
“You think your sumtin’ with that scholarship, don’t cha? Well, I have news for you. They can smell trash. They’ll be able to smell you a mile away. I’m all you’ve got.”
“No, Laz, you are all you’ve got. Insult me again and I will blow a hole through you.”
“Fucking whore, you—”
I aimed and pulled the trigger, shooting a clean hole through his thigh. His agonizing cries only fueled me as I squeezed again, this time clipping his ear.
I opened the door of the hotel room then looked him in the eye. “Don’t come looking for me or I’ll finish the job.”
“Red, don’t…please.” The voice belonged to the boy I used to know. As I looked into his eyes, I saw equal parts affection and hatred for me. He didn’t want me to belong elsewhere, and that was where the hatred stemmed from. The affection was something we’d started years ago and would never go away, regardless of how completely screwed up our relationship was now. Even through all of it, I still cared for him. As I stood in the doorway, prepared to leave and never lay eyes on him again, I let my feelings show, but only briefly.
“I can’t stay. I told you that. I’m sorry.” He shed a single tear as he glared up at me.
“I’ll come for you,” he warned.
“No, you won’t.” His shoulders stiffened as his greasy hair spilled over his face. He looked down at his worn shoes in defeat. I lowered my gun and walked out the door.
Eleven years ago, I walked out the door that I was currently mesmerized by. I had no idea what to expect when I walked through it now. I stared at the dented metal door and realized time had stood completely still in Dyer—always had. Nothing had improved or changed in any way. It was the land that life had forgotten. The eerie feeling I had now was the same damned dread that stayed with me from day to day while I dwelled here. Even the night air seemed stale.
Taking a deep breath, I tucked Leroy deep into the back of my pants and the pocket-sized pistol in my bra. Laz now knew where I lived. He probably knew of my success and wealth. What I was unsure of was whatever charade he intended to play out here. I could not bring this personal war back to Charleston if I intended to move on with my life.
I tested the door, and it opened easily. Instantly cringing at the sight before me, I pressed through, shutting the door behind me.
“Fuck, now it’s going to get good. Jesus, Red, you are fucking perfect.” I met his eyes dead on as he fisted the red hair of who I assumed was my sister as she sucked his cock. With one hand, he led her, and with the other, he held a Glock to her temple. Body tense and ready to strike, I was about to reach for my gun when I heard a whimper in the corner of the room. I turned to see Amber cowering in a chair, eyes wide as she looked between Laz and me.
“Remember the first time you did this, Red?” He snickered as he pulled his cock out of his victim’s mouth and spilled over her chin. “Damn, I needed that. Thank you, baby.”
“Never pictured you as one to hold a woman at gunpoint to get off,” I said, taking him in. Laz was still beautiful despite apparent years of abusing his body. He had grown taller, more muscular, and had a wall of tattoos on his etched chest. Most of them looked to be angels and demons. His hair was a little longer than I remembered, but his eyes were the same true blue.
“Long time, baby,” he said with a wicked grin as he zipped his fly. “How you been?”
“Amber, my car is parked out front. Why don’t you go get in it. Me and Laz will have a chat.”
“I don’t think so. I mean, who would want to miss the reunion?” he said, pulling the girl who still had yet to clean him off of her chin to her feet. “And don’t worry, Red, Lucy here is the one who gets off on sucking cock at gunpoint.”
Lucy!
She turned to me, an empty shell, a meth addict, and a far cry from the proud, rich girl I’d known since I was a kid. Meth had apparently claimed her, too. Jesus, didn’t anyone ever leave this place?
“Tell me what you want straight out. I’ll give it to you and be on my way.”
“I want you to suffer,” he said heatedly as he wiped Lucy’s mouth with a towel. She looked zombified as she strolled over to where her discarded dress lay on the floor and slipped it on. Without a word, she left the room.
“So, Harvard, huh? Here I was trying to rub dimes together to make millions when I could have married my winning lottery ticket.”
“So it’s money you want,” I said quickly. “I have plenty. How much to buy you out of my life?”
If I didn’t know better, I would say he looked hurt.
“After all the time we spent together as kids, I don’t mean anything to you, do I?”
“No,” I said, glancing at Amber. She was shaking and gray and looked eerily like me. If we weren’t years apart, we could have passed for twins, except her eyes were brown, mine were green.
“Laz, I’ve been in the car thirteen hours. Trust me, I’ve suffered. Tell me how to end this,” I pleaded as he gave me a wary look, wiped his chest, and then pulled on a T-shirt.
I walked over to my sister and grabbed her hand. She looked at me with soulless eyes. “You made her smoke!”
“Fuck no. She put the pipe to her mouth herself. I simply lit it for her like a gentlemen.”
I pulled my gun without a second thought as Laz grinned at me.
“Ah, so here we are full circle. How is that temper of yours helping you in the workforce? Are your employees dodging bullets?”
“I got the fuck out of here to make something of myself. You could have done the same.” I gripped Amber’s arm, pulling her from the chair and moved toward the door.
“The party is just getting started. Don’t leave yet,” he said, arms out and palms up. For the first time since I entered the room, I felt a pang of fear. This was too easy.
“What’s waiting for me outside the door, Laz?”
>
He winked and plucked a cigarette from the dresser next to him.
“You were high and you hit me. You deserved that bullet. This can’t be about a bruise I gave you eleven fucking years ago!”
He flicked his Zippo, and I saw the deep pockmarks on his face for the first time illuminated by the light of the fire. He blew out smoke and tapped his temple. “Smart woman. Okay, I’ll give you a fighting chance. I’ve set up a type of obstacle course for you. If you can make it out of Dyer tonight with your sister in tow, I’ll list my demands, and we’ll conduct our business then I’ll be on my way.”
“And if I fail?”
“This isn’t the type of course you want to fail, Red.”
“Why the fuck are you doing this?”
“I jumped through hoops for you. You can play hopscotch for me.” His words were cold as he took a long look at Amber. “See you later.”
The words escaped my mouth before I could weigh them. “I could just shoot you.”
“You could.” He nodded, taking another drag of his cigarette, and stretching his arms over his head. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
“Damn you to hell, Laz.”
“Like I told you the day you left me bleeding in this hotel room, this is hell, but now I rule it.” His grin was evil, and his eyes were filled with hate…for me.
I rolled my eyes as Amber began to shake and scratch. She was withdrawing. “Can you walk?”
She nodded as I opened the door, gun pointed in every direction as I shut it quickly behind me, walking Amber to the car and shoving her inside. I hauled ass to the driver’s seat and pulled out like a bat out of hell only to be tailed.
Welcome back to the Wild West.
I gunned the Chevelle as I drilled my sister. “Is it true? Is he running the town?”
She looked at me with wide eyes and laughed dryly. “He’s running all of Gibson County.”
Hearing gunfire, I dropped the car into gear and skidded to a halt on a bridge in front of a razored tire strip.
