High School Reunion

by Megan E. Bean

  I returned her kiss before replying, “I don’t think it’s crazy. Though, I am pretty crazy about you.” I grinned and she laughed at how cheesy I was.

  “I don’t want to hide it anymore,” she sighed and rolled over onto her side, facing me. “I love being with you. I love the way you make me feel. I love how corny you are. I’m done hiding my love for you.”

  I gulped. We had never discussed the ‘L word’ before. And she mentioned it so casually. As if she didn’t realize what she had just said.

  “I don’t know, Veronica. Your family would disown you. Your image would be smeared. You could be bullied. You aren’t thinking of the big picture.”

  “I am, though! You and I are my big picture. Us. Screw what these idiots think. And my family loves me, they wouldn’t disown me. You aren’t giving them enough credit,” she protested.

  “You don’t notice the looks that your mother gives me whenever I pull up to your house. You don’t know what it’s like to be called a ‘dyke.’ It’s not fun, babe.” I tried placing my hand on the side of her face, to comfort her, but she pulled away and sat up.

  “Liz, I don’t care. Don’t you see that? It hurts me having to hide you. Not being able to hold your hand or scoot in close to you during lunch. Or gush about you and how sweet you are to me.”

  “Well, no one would believe you about that. I’m a total badass,” I said in an effort to cut the tension.

  “Don’t do that. Don’t turn this into a joke.” She got out of my bed now and was standing in front of my door. “Is that what this is to you? A joke? Am I some straight-girl-project to you?”

  “Veronica!” Did she think that’s what this was? I sat on the edge of my bed and grabbed her hands in mine. “Why would you ever think that?” Looking into her eyes, I could see the pain behind them. “I’m trying to protect you.”

  “I don’t need protecting.” She spoke softly and got on her knees in front of me. “I need to be able to show everyone how crazy I am about you.” She was practically begging. She needed this.

  “Okay…” I gave in. She needed this. I needed her. I wanted her to be happy.

  Her face lit up and she jumped into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, and kissing me harder than she ever had before.

  “Baby, thank you so much! I’m so excited! We are going to be the hottest couple in school. Can you imagine?” She rambled on and on and I remember thinking that she was the cutest thing in the world. A pile of puppies wouldn’t even come close right now.

  I nodded in agreement, smiling ear-to-ear.

  “Ooh! I can’t wait until school in the morning!” She pushed me down onto the bed and placed excited kisses all over my face.

  I knew she was ready for the announcement, but was I?

  * * * *

  “I-I’m sorry,” I stuttered like an idiot. I hadn’t been face-to-face with her in a decade. And I just smacked right into her.

  “It’s okay,” she softly said and smoothed down her dress.

  John skidded to a halt once he caught up to me. He reminded me of a cartoon character.

  “Oh shit, sorry.” He looked between the two of us. “Hey, V. Long time, no see.”

  She started to reply but was cut off by Lindsay.

  “Hey, guys! Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! Isn’t it so crazy to see everyone?” She seemed to be intoxicated—from alcohol and from excitement of seeing everyone from our past.

  “Yes, it’s definitely something,” my ex-girlfriend replied, sounding as proper as ever.

  Lindsay carried on and it was almost a shock to me how nonchalant she was being. It was as if she had completely forgotten about the nasty break-up Veronica and I had been in. It wasn’t a secret at all—to anyone. It was very public.

  “Come on, guys! I got an area around the bonfire. Our old spot.” She grabbed Veronica’s hand and pulled her towards the fire. I shared a look with Ber, Keith, and John. We shrugged and followed them.

  “So, how are things with…” my best friend asked, whispering.

  “Umm. Yeah, we haven’t talked since I moved.” I looked up at the two women ahead of us. My ex was wearing a tight black dress with simple flip flops. I smiled to myself, because she was so formal but could never walk in heels. Lindsay still held her hand, talking loudly, completely oblivious to the awkward situation.

  We all sat down on the shoddy lawn chairs, Veronica directly across from me, and continued catching up. Lindsay had been doing a lot of travelling. She was going to Madagascar within the next couple of months. She was always the most worldly of us all. Over the years, she had cut off her hair, expanded her mind with hallucinogens, and dated people of all sizes, colors, and religions.

  “Hey, guys, can some of you help me? I’m gonna go get some drinks and food for us all,” John announced and left with Lindsay, Keith, and Bertha, leaving me and her alone. Awkwardly. I bitterly and sarcastically thanked them in my mind. Veronica and I made eye contact and we both forced a smile.

  “So…”

  “So…” I replied and you could cut the tension with a butter knife. It was almost painful.

  “So, I hear that you’re enjoying New Mexico?” she asked me and I could tell she was kicking herself for asking me that.

  “Yeah. I mean, yeah… it’s pretty cool.” Very smooth, Elizabeth.

  “That’s good,” she simply stated and we sat there in silence, looking at the ground.

  “So, what have you been up to?” I finally broke the unbearable silence.

  “Oh, well, I’m a photographer now. I do some modelling on the side. But I much prefer being behind the camera,” she responded much more cheerfully than before.

  “That’s awesome! When did you start getting into that?” I was genuinely curious. Whenever I moved away, she was going to go to Penn State for accounting.

  “When you…I mean, I sort of started over after we graduated. I decided to go for something I was actually passionate about, you know?” I watched her eyes light up as she continued talking about it. It was nice. She never really was into accounting or business, but her family pushed it on her. “So now I do photoshoots for, like, graduations, engagements, baby announcements. And I do freelance stuff for the newspaper sometimes.”

  “That’s really, cool, Veronica. I’m proud of you—” I got cut off by the loud ‘boom’ of music starting up.

  “I can’t hear you,” she said loudly and I could barely hear her. I got out of my seat and moved into the chair next to her. She sat more upright, as if on edge. I wondered if I had made her uncomfortable, but she kept our conversation going. “But anyways, I heard that you’re doing pretty well for yourself.”

  Her saying that reminded me of whenever she would scold me when I would say, ‘I’m doing good.’ She would respond saying, ‘Superman does good, we do well.’ I would always roll my eyes at her. That saying has stuck with me throughout my life, thanks to her.

  “Yes, pretty well, indeed,” I subtly joked and, judging by the smile on her face, she got it. “I mean, it’s not a luxurious job or anything, but it pays well.”

  I noticed that she crossed her arms and was shivering a bit. I instinctively grabbed the bottom of my jacket, ready to peel it off and wrap it around her but stopped myself. I didn’t want to cross that line.

  “Here you guys go! Two ice cold beers.” Keith handed us each a can and I laughed, loudly.

  “What are you laughing about?” Veronica eyed me, amusement on her face.

  “You drink beer? Since when?”

  “Hey! I can drink!” She nudged me playfully, causing both of us to freeze momentarily, but we both got over it quickly and went back into a playful banter with our old pals.

  * * * *

  The response to us coming out as a couple was overwhelming. At school, everyone was thrilled. In fact, we were the new power couple. It was not the response I was expecting at all. At Veronica’s house, her parents and sisters were as excited. Her family only wanted her to be happy, it see
med.

  I was expecting people to shun us. To bully her. Her titles at school to be ripped away from her. Dirty looks thrown at us in the hallways. Whispering behind our backs.

  But no, we were the school’s golden couple. I should have been excited. Ecstatic, really. But I felt quite the opposite. I felt… dread.

  Before, we were private, sneaking around, passionate. It was exciting. Now, it was bland.

  Every morning, I picked her up and we drove to school together. I carried her books to her class and she gave me a small kiss before entering the room. That was repeated between each class. At lunch, we would hold hands in line and share a seat at the table. People would come up to us all day, talking about how cute we were. She would beam proudly and thank them. I would zone out and she would make the same joke every time. “Hello, earth to Lizzie,” she’d laugh and roll her eyes playfully.

  At the end each day, I would drive us to her house and stay there for a couple of hours, watching television with her and her family. We’d eat dinner and when it was time to leave, she would beg me to stay later, I would decline, telling her I needed to study.

  I would go home, lay down, and watch a movie. I would shower. I would fall asleep after talking to Veronica on the phone for an hour.

  Then I would repeat the process all over again in the morning.

  I should have been happy. I felt ungrateful for not being happy. Everyone else loved us together. Everyone else wanted to have what we had. Why didn’t I? Was there something wrong with me?

  I felt awful. She loved me so much. So much that it was smothering me. She was always sitting in my lap. At the beginning of our relationship, I found it endearing, but now I wanted space from her. She was almost too perfect a girlfriend.

  I decided I needed to end things about a month after our coming-out announcement. But the thing was, I didn’t have the heart to do it. She was so in love. Her friends and family were invested in us. I didn’t want to make her look like a fool. We were together for eight months before I finally did it.

  She was sitting in my lap, again. We were at a house party at John’s. Everything was going fine—everyone was dancing, playing beer pong, singing. My best friend had asked me to play a match, but like a good girlfriend, I declined, even though I was dying to defend my title as beer pong champion.

  As the night went on, I felt something stirring up inside of me. I silently sat in my chair with my girlfriend on my lap, arms around her waist, and listening to her gossip with her friends. With alcohol fueling my fire, I felt like I was about to explode.

  I composed myself and excused myself to go to the bathroom.

  “Hey, babe.” I heard her voice from behind me. I hadn’t even made it to the bathroom yet.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I snapped and turned around to face her. She looked shocked.

  “I just—”

  “You just what, Veronica? God, can’t I just go to the fucking bathroom without you tailing me?” I understood I was being harsh. I should have felt like a total jerk when I saw the hurt expression on her face. But I didn’t.

  “Lizzie, I’m sorry…” She looked towards the ground. I could tell she had tears forming in her eyes, though.

  “Look, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t breathe,” I exploded and ran my hand through my hair, trying to get it out of my face. I felt like I was overheating.

  “What? What do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?” Her head snapped up to look at me now. I couldn’t tell if she was heartbroken or pissed off. Or both. But it didn’t matter to me either way. This had built up inside me for almost a year.

  “Yes, now will you just leave me alone please?” Again. Harsh. And again, I didn’t care. I didn’t give a damn about the eyes on us—a collection of friends and acquaintances, staring at us in horror. The whispers were already starting.

  “You know what…” Her voice was breaking, but she powered through and I could hear her anger. “You can have all of the fucking space that you need. I never want to see you again.” Her tears contradicted her. I knew she wanted to see me again. But she got her wish. After she stormed out of that party, we avoided each other at all costs. We had graduated a couple months before, so that made it easy. But to up the ante, I received a job offer in New Mexico and I accepted it without thinking twice.

  * * * *

  “Alright, your guys’ turn to get beers,” Lindsey drawled, pointing towards me and Veronica. I could barely see the small devilish smile on her face, but it was there. She had something up her sleeve. I started to protest, but the brunette to my right had already stood up and agreed. She was looking at me, waiting.

  I slowly got up to my feet and followed her. I was feeling a little tipsy—I hadn’t drunk like this in quite some time. I was giggling to myself which caused Veronica to look back at me, a smile on her face.

  “What?” She cocked her head, looking at me curiously.

  “What do you mean what?” I replied, teasingly.

  “What are you giggling about, you big weirdo?” Her smile grew. She looked as gorgeous as she had the first time I met her. Back then I considered her hot. Now I considered her beautiful. She was more mature, more refined, but she was still very much herself.

  “Oh, I just was laughing because I’m a little drunk,” I responded quickly, after realizing I had been staring at her and almost forgotten to speak.

  “Who would’ve thought that I could handle my liquor better than you?” She smirked and playfully slapped me on the arm.

  As we got to the concession stand, she ordered for everyone and I got lost staring at her again. She didn’t notice, thankfully, as she was catching up with whoever was working behind the counter. Her dimples used to be my favorite feature, and tonight I realized that they still were. She had a contagious smile.

  “Earth to Lizzie.” She waved her hand in front of my face. Maybe she did notice me staring. She laughed when I snapped back to reality.

  “You used to always say that to me,” I stated. I thought back to the hundreds of times she said it and I felt guilty when I remembered how annoyed it made me by the end of our relationship.

  She handed me a couple of drinks and we headed back to our group.

  “Hey, V.” I stopped in my tracks and gently spoke to her. She simply turned her head to look at me. “I’m really sorry.”

  She studied my face. It seemed like she stared at me for hours. I felt uncomfortable. Was she going to slap me? Yell at me? Cry?

  “Hey, it’s okay.” Her voice was gentle. “We were both just kids. I forgive you,” She smiled and I felt at ease.

  “Thank you.”

  “As long as you aren’t still a total jerk.” She grinned and kicked my foot.

  “Oh, no, I’m still a total jerk. A big one,” I said smugly and we smiled at each other before reaching our chairs.

  “What are you two lovebirds talking about?” Bertha shouted and Veronica instantly blushed and looked away.

  “What are you two lovebirds talking about?” I pointed between her and Keith and it was her turn to blush.

  Veronica looked at me and a smile tugged at her lips, as if to thank me for defusing an awkward situation.

  We sat down again, this time a little bit closer. I noticed her shivering again and this time I peeled my jacket off and offered it to her. To my surprise, she accepted it and wrapped it tightly around herself. It made my heart beat a little faster. I wondered if she liked the way it smelled. If she would ‘accidently’ forget to take it off and fall asleep in it whenever she got to her house. I would let her accidently take it.

  “So are you dating anyone?” Keith loudly asked. I looked up and saw him staring at my ex. I silently thanked him in my head.

  “Oh, umm…” She started off. She seemed timid. Did that mean she had a girlfriend? I held my breath as I waited for her to continue. “No. I’m focusing on other things right now.” It looked like she had turned her head ever so slightly in my direction. But it could also be
that I was drunk and imagining things.

  “What about you?” I looked up at Keith and saw that he was looking directly at me. Subtle.

  “No. Totally single,” I responded quickly. Almost too quickly. Subtle. This time, I did notice Veronica looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I turned to face her, but she quickly looked away, starting a conversation with Lindsey.

  I looked over at John, Keith, and Bertha, who were all giving me thumbs ups. I rolled my eyes at them.

  * * * *

  As the bonfire ended, my buddies all decided to go to Mutts, the local bar that had been in town since our grandparents were kids. Veronica, Lindsey, and I were sitting on the stools in the corner of the poorly-lit bar, watching Keith and John play pool, with Bertha being Keith’s cheerleader.

  “Oh my God, they just need to bang already,” Lindsey blurted out and we cracked up.

  “Yeah, they are pretty cute,” Veronica agreed. She was sitting across from me. I missed her sitting next to me.

  “You know, I totally called it in high school. I said they would make a great couple and no one would believe me,” I boasted proudly.

  “Yeah, but who would have thought that he would turn into a hunk!” Lindsey had no filter right now. It was hilarious. Back when we were teenagers, she was a bit more timid. It was nice to see she’d broken out of her shell.

  “They would have been the cutest couple in school, even then,” Veronica said, sweetly.

  “Well, second best,” Lindsey started and I prayed that she wasn’t about to say what I thought she was going to. “You two were the cutest,” she finished nonchalantly. I held my breath. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

  “Well, yeah, duh. Except someone had to be a jerk and ruin it,” Veronica responded and I looked up at her. She was playfully smirking and sent me a wink. I felt a soft kick under the table. I raised my eyebrow at her and she smiled.

  “Hey, Lizzie, switch me seats, would ya? I wanna get a good view of this growing relationship between Ber and Keith,” my old best friend stated more than asked. I knew what she was up to and I didn’t object one bit.

  I scooted in close, but not too close. All signs were pointing to Go, but I was still pumping the brakes to be careful.