Incineration (Heart of Stone)

by Sidebottom, D H

  He remained still, taking everything I gave him until I broke and howled, my screams ripping us both in two. He grabbed me tight, holding my head to his chest “Come on baby, let it out” he urged as I continued to cry hysterically “Shush” he whispered “I’m here Baby”. He held me for a long time, refusing to let me go as I whimpered into him.

  Eventually he lifted me into his arms, carried me upstairs and stood me up, peeling off my dress and bra and then laid me in his bed. He climbed in behind me, pulled me against him and wrapped me up in his arms “Go to sleep Ava” he breathed into my hair “We’ll talk tomorrow” I nodded and snuggled against him “I love you Ava” he said as I closed my eyes and drifted “I love you baby” he repeated and I tightened my grip on his arms and slept.

  The bright sun exploded my irises and I squinted and groaned, rolling onto my back. Mason was gone and I lay there silent for a while. I knew the time had come and I was nervous about what to say to him, not that I needed to explain much as he had already found out most of it but not all of it according to the documents I had seen.

  I climbed out of bed and extracted the soft blue t-shirt from his drawer and pulled it on. I borrowed Masons’ toothbrush as my mouth felt like gravel and splashed my face, grumbling at my appearance in the mirror and then went down for a much needed coffee.

  Mason was sat at the island, in just loose joggers and his torso bare, nursing a mug and reading a newspaper and he looked up as I entered, his eyes scanning my body and a grin on his face. He stood and walked over to me “Good morning Ava, how’s your head?” I groaned and he laughed, kissed me on the forehead and went in search of paracetamol “Sit” he ordered gently and I obliged, climbing on one of the stools and holding my head in my hands as I rested my elbows on the island.

  He came behind me and swiped my hair to one side, gently kissing the nape of my neck as his fingers massaged my shoulders “Ahhhh” I moaned and he chuckled “That good Baby?” he asked softly against my ear and I nodded “Very” he worked my muscles and continued to worship my neck with kisses as my tension slipped away. He kissed my head again and walked over to the percolator and poured me a coffee and slid me the cup “You’ve learnt how to use it?” I smiled at the pride on his face as he nodded eagerly “It’s not as good as yours but it’s drinkable” he shrugged.

  My phone rang somewhere from the lounge and I slid off the stool and went in search of it; it was Courtney “Hey” I greeted and cringed “Hey babe. I’m just ringing to see how you are?” she laughed “Headache?” there was that one word question again “Mmmm” I replied and she was silent for a moment “Where are you Ava?” God that girl could read me like a book “Erm…” I couldn’t think of a lie quick enough “Ava, tell me you’re not at Masons?” she asked slowly and I cringed again “Erm…” I heard her gasp at my hesitance “Oh Ava” she sighed “It’s fine Courtney” I appealed “I’m okay, it was my choice” I could hear her tapping her nails against her table and I grimaced as Mason shouted, asking if I was hungry “Huh” she huffed “I needed him Courtney” I implored and she sighed heavily “I know Ava” she said softly “I just don’t want you to get hurt Babe” I nodded even though she couldn’t see me and sat on the couch “I know, me too” I breathed and we were both silent.

  Mason appeared at the doorway, a frown on his face as he regarded me “I have to go” I said and she sighed again “Ring me later when you’re alone” she ordered and I agreed “I love you Babe” she said as we ended the call “Love you too”.

  I placed my phone on the table “I hope that was Courtney or George” he said sternly and I rolled my eyes “Courtney” I informed him and walked into the kitchen, leaving him stood in the lounge doorway. He walked back into the kitchen “Ava” he said slowly and I looked at him over the rim of my mug “Did you…did you sleep with Tony?” he asked, his knuckles white as he squeezed his mug, waiting for my answer. “For god’s sake Mason, who do you take me for? I’m not like that. You should know that by now” I fumed and he smiled guiltily “I’m sorry Ava, I just needed to check” I simmered down when I thought of all the times I thought he’d slept with Rebecca when he hadn’t “No, I only met him the once and when you left, I left” I shrugged and took another gulp of coffee. He nodded and sat on the stool at the side of me “I promise Ava, I haven’t touched Rebecca since before you” he said and palmed my cheek. “I know” I smiled and leaned into him. He leant forward and kissed me tenderly “I’ve missed you Ava” he said softly against my lips and I grabbed his hair, pulling him closer as I kissed him back “We need to talk Mason” I whispered as I sucked and nibbled on his bottom lip.

  He groaned and stroked his thumb across my cheekbone “Let’s eat first” he said and lifted off the stool and walked over to the fridge, removing milk and eggs “Pancakes?” he asked and my jaw dropped “Are you making them?” I asked, dumbfounded “Well, I thought I could hold the pan for you” he grinned cheekily. I laughed and hopped off the stool, walking around to his side “Flour” I told him as I opened the cupboard to get a bowl “Yes ma’am” he saluted and opened the fridge “Pantry Mason” I enlightened and he grinned sheepishly.

  I put all the ingredients in the bowl and started to whisk, he stood behind me and his arms came round me as he held the whisk with me, his fingers curled around mine and we both beat the crap out of the mixture, his hard erection pressing into my back. I chastised him playfully “I’m hungry” I laughed as his teeth grazed my neck “Me too” he breathed and sucked on my neck; his hands left mine and cupped my breasts. I tilted my head back, giving him better access to my neck and moaned as his thumbs stroked my hard nipples “You’re exquisite when you’re turned on Ava, I can smell your arousal soaking your knickers” he whispered as his hands slid down my stomach and bunched up his shirt, lifting it over me and then slipped his fingers into my knickers. “Jesus Ava, your soaked” he groaned and I reached behind me and stoked the length of his hard penis through the material of his joggers.

  He hissed and pushed his groin further into my backside, removing his hand before he spun me round, I whimpered at the loss of his touch but he twisted the edges of my knickers and yanked, ripping them away. “Put your legs round my hips Baby” he said and kissed me feverishly as I did, gripping his hips with my thighs.

  He walked backwards and sat on the window seat in the corner of the kitchen, reaching between us and freeing his heavy cock he positioned it against my entrance. I sunk down slowly, tilting my head back and closing my eyes in ecstasy as my legs still enveloped him. He groaned and planted little wet kisses across my collarbone and down to my breasts as I continued to make love to him slowly and leisurely. His hands gripped my shoulders from behind as he moaned into my neck “Ava” he gasped as I tightened round him “I love you Mason” I groaned as my body peaked and I exploded around him “God I love you Mason” I shouted as I repeated my declaration. He grunted and flung his head back, his seed shooting into me as he jerked fiercely underneath me “I love you Ava, so much Baby” he rasped, his mouth returning to my neck.

  We clung to each other and I gasped when I saw Sam staring at us through the window “Mason!” I exclaimed and he looked behind him, through the window and when he saw Sam he laughed out loud “Mason!” I scolded “Don’t worry Baby, he can’t see your body, my back is covering you” his eyes twinkled as he chuckled. “Move me away from the window” I started to giggle as I saw the humour in his face and he stood and walked me backwards to the island.

  I hopped off him and reached down for my shirt and then froze “Ava?” Mason questioned. I stood abruptly and looked at him “Mason, that’s three times we haven’t used a condom” I exclaimed and his shoulders sagged “Are you worried?” he asked slowly and I frowned “Of course I’m worried. We’re gonna have to control ourselves” I said, slipping the shirt over my head “I can’t seem to with you Ava. I need to feel you, I don’t want anything between us” I nodded in agreement “I’m gonna have to visit the doctors and go on the p
ill” I told him and he shrugged. I frowned at his nonchalance and started on the pancakes.

  CHAPTER 19

  After I loaded the dishwasher Mason pulled me over to the couch, sat me down and switched off our phones and locked the front door “No interruptions” he explained and I swallowed, biting my little finger harshly. He sat beside me and took my hand in his, stroking my knuckles with his thumb and we sat in silence for a while. He understood I needed his patience and I eventually took a deep breath. “My parents died in a car crash when I was 8” I started and sighed heavily “I don’t remember much about them only that they loved me and I was happy. I didn’t have any other family so I was placed in foster care. I was 11 when I was first raped” I whispered.

  Mason hissed and pulled me back against him so my back was on his chest, our legs up on the sofa as he wrapped his legs and arms round me protectively “I endured it for six months and then plucked up the courage to tell my foster mother, she called me a lying whore and had me removed from their care. I was then placed with another family and everything was okay until his wife left him for another man and he got drunk one night and raped me” I laughed bitterly “at this point I thought it was something I was doing wrong, that it was my fault” Mason sighed “No Baby” he whispered “I was 12 Mason, I didn’t understand that” he nodded. “Carry on” he urged as he played with my fingers

  “He raped me three times before he phoned the agency and told them he couldn’t care for me now that his wife had left so they removed me and placed me in a children’s home. The only problem with that place was, the girls were jealous of the male attention I received because of my chest so they resented me and that’s when I started to learn how to fight” he chuckled “Yeah, I noticed” I smiled at his proudness of my fighting skills “You had to learn to fight Mason, otherwise you wouldn’t survive. I started rebelling when I hit my 14th birthday and I started smoking and drinking, shoplifting and getting into organised paid fights. They quickly removed me and then I was placed with another family” I sighed and started chewing my finger.

  Mason hugged me tighter, encouraging me “there was another foster child in the family, a 16 year old boy, Lee, who slowly got an obsession with me. He started coming in my room at night. He was quite violent and would hold a pillow over my face or his hand would cover my mouth while he raped me” Mason hissed and stiffened and I squeezed him “I’m okay” I sighed and he kissed my head “after each time he would beat me and he was too strong for me to fight back and he swore he would kill me if I told anyone. One night he raped me so violently, his hands wrapped around my throat that tightly I actually passed out and when I finally came to I knew I had to leave”.

  Mason snarled and his breathing sped up, his rage surfacing as I told my story “Do you want me to stop?” I asked him gently but he shook his head and kissed my scalp “No, go on”. I nodded “So I put what belongings I had in a backpack, raided the foster carer’s purse for £25 and left, catching a bus to London. I made my spot under a bridge and would scrounge for food and clothes”

  Mason took a deep breath “Jesus Ava” he sighed “Hey, it was better than going through what he did to me every night. I knew if I stayed that he would have eventually killed me” he grunted and I took in a deep breath, giving me the courage to tell him the next horrific part “that’s where I met Katie. She was beautiful and so full of life, even though we were on the streets. We struck a friendship straight away. She was an excellent pick pocket and I had good fighting skills so we kept each other alive and I loved her so much” I swallowed and hesitated “one night we were camped behind some garages when we were approached by two blokes, they thought we were prostitutes and propositioned us” I had started trembling “Easy Baby, it’s okay, I’m here” he whispered softly and started stroking my arm gently, his fingers sliding up and down in a soft rhythm.

  I paused for a while, trying to slow my heartbeat “Katie laughed and told them to fuck off but they just kept goading us” I paused again and took some deep breaths as I started sweating and my eyes burnt “I could see they were checking out Katie so I stood up and told them to fuck off. One of them grabbed my hair and pushed me up against the wall while the other grabbed Katie” I swallowed the nausea back and Mason stroked my hair, trying to soothe my shaking “they raped us both but when he tried to rape me again he tried to…he tried to…” I took some deep breaths and closed my eyes “He tried to take my…arse” I grated and Mason inhaled harshly “I was 17 and had never done that and I was scared so I…so I fought back and bit him. I ran over to Katie and tried to pull the bloke off her but they were too strong for us, needless to say he tried to finish what he started but I continued to fight. He warned me that if I didn’t hold still my friend would get hurt but I ignored him”

  I started to sob now “Shush Baby” he whispered “Do you want to stop?” he asked gently but I shook my head severely “I need to tell you Mason, I need to” I was shaking violently and he gripped me “he warned me but I didn’t fucking listen” I cried and his own tears were falling now, I was breaking him with me “when I didn’t stop biting and scratching him he punched me in the head and I fell to the ground and then he started kicking me in the stomach and back until I couldn’t move and then he…he SHIT!” I rubbed my face with my hands and pulled away from Mason and sat up but didn’t face him “He…he found a petrol can from one of the garages, poured it over Katie and set her on fire” I whispered brokenly “Jesus Christ!” he snarled “I couldn’t get to her, I tried so hard but the flames just swept over her too quickly and he held me back, laughing at her…he fucking laughed at her!” I sobbed and he leaned forward, enveloping me again “I can still hear her fucking screams, I can still smell her fucking flesh burning Mason” I cried “Jesus Christ Ava” he held me tight as my body shook violently.

  Pushing him off I ran up the stairs just managing to get to the toilet as I vomited vehemently, my stomach revolting at the memories. I felt Mason squat behind me and swept my hair away from my face as I continued to empty my stomach.

  His hands stroked my sweating back and he whispered my name over and over until I had nothing left to throw up. He leant me against the wall and turned on the bath taps, filling the bath and when it was full of warm, foamy water he peeled off my shirt and lifted me into it, climbing in behind me and pulling me against him as we lay there, together in silence as my body shook and his heart broke.

  “I’m sorry Ava” he said eventually “I didn’t mean to go behind your back but I knew something was holding you back from our relationship” he sighed and I squeezed his hand “I know” I whispered. He shook his head “I should have trusted you Ava and I’m so sorry” he swept my hair back and kissed my temple “I only found out the basics. Just your foster carers but not what you went through in them all, and your injuries from that night but I didn’t know what had happened although I gathered you were raped, my mother’s notes didn’t explain anything other than your physical state and the mention of your mental withdrawal” he picked up the sponge and started to bathe me gently “I have only ever told George. Courtney knows it was something horrific but not the specifics” I told him “I should have been patient and trusted you” he claimed “I know Mason, stop apologising. But I need you to trust me in the future otherwise there is no basis for a relationship” he nodded “Ava, do you…do you think you need to talk to somebody, you know like a councillor?” he asked cautiously but I shook my head “No, I’m not that sort of person Mason. It’s helped that I have spoken to you” I said quietly and he kissed me again “George pulled me back up, his patience and care will be something that I will never forget. He sat up with me when my nightmares haunted me night after night, he held me when I sobbed and he bought me a punch bag” I chuckled “I remember his face when he first saw me pound the bag until it split” he scoffed “Fuck me Ava, you’re a right little warrior” he laughed “I needed to be Mason” I said sadly “I managed to get free and run that night, and that’s wh
en George found me, huddled in the corner of the pub car park” I felt him nod behind me “Did you ever see them again?” he asked slowly and I shook my head “No, George went out to look but didn’t find them and I never saw them again. I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or not” I laughed bitterly and Mason scoffed “For their case, I’d say it’s a good thing” he said but I shrugged “I dunno Mason; they were too strong for me then, however much I fought. I tried to save her but…but…” I sobbed and Mason clung to me “it’s my fault she died Mason!” I pulled away from him and drew my knees up and hugged them to me “Baby no! You did what anybody would have done” his voice broke and his fingers stroked up and down my spine.

  I shook my head again “But he told me, he warned me…I should have just let him do it and then Katie would still be here” I rasped as a tear slid out “Ava, you can’t think like that. How do you know they still wouldn’t have done it even if you gave in?” he kissed my back, his arms slid round me and hugged my legs with me “You…you…” he swallowed heavily “they could have done the same to you Ava, if you hadn’t run” and I shrugged “But it would’ve been better than having to see Katie’s pain every day. Her face…the terror and agony…” I broke off and rested my head on my knees “Her face never leaves me Mason, nor does the way she screamed my name in torture…” I retched and Mason pulled me back “Shush Baby, its over. I’m gonna help you through, I’m here for you Ava” he whispered against my head and I gripped his arms tightly and nodded “I know” his mouth slid round to my neck, kissing it gently “I love you Ava. I’ve never felt like this about anybody but you…I will kill anybody that harms you. I won’t let anybody hurt you again…ever!” I tilted my head and cupped his face as he kissed me lovingly “I love you too Mason, so much that it frightens me” he frowned severely but nodded “Don’t be scared of how you feel Ava, never be afraid to love” he whispered as he breathed against my lips and made love to me slowly and tenderly, our need to soothe each other evident in the way we held each other as we both climaxed together, joined in body and soul.