Free Me (Caged Hearts Book 1)

by West, Heather

  “I’ve been a bit too consumed with my work lately,” she told him sadly, not wanting to lie and pretend that she was living some exciting, enriched life.

  “I know how that can be,” Jasper nodded. “Fighting is my life; it can be hard to switch off.”

  “You switched off today,” Kait told him brightly.

  “So did you,” Jasper grinned. Kait was smiling back at him when she noticed the glimmer in his eyes fade. He straightened on the sofa and turned his back on the television.

  “But tomorrow it all starts up again,” he told her. “You go back to work, and I’m back to training. This,” he gestured to the space between them, “will be put on the back burner.”

  Kait struggled to swallow over the lump which had formed in her throat. What did he mean? This was surely the start of something great, something wondrous. Why would he want to take a step back from that? Kait didn’t want to return to who she had previously been. She didn’t want her life to solely revolve around work. When Jasper saved her from knifepoint in the parking lot, he did more than save her from those thugs, he saved her from herself. When she was around him, she was remembering how to live, how to truly be alive. It no longer mattered that she got a promotion or a bigger house; all that mattered was the moment and that they were together in it. But now Jasper was taking all that away again. What did it mean? Did he want to be involved with her or not?

  Cupping her face in his warm hands Jasper uttered the words Kait dreaded to hear:

  “I mean, this has been great, so much fun. But my fighting comes first, Kait and it always will.”

  Chapter 15

  The following day Kait struggled to focus at work. No matter how many urgent emails flashed on her computer screen, she couldn’t stop thinking about Jasper. After telling her that his fighting would always come first, he had left. With a pained expression, he told her that he would call. Kait doubted that he would, but she needed to cling to the promise that he would even if it had been made in vain.

  She understood his drive and determination when it came to his fighting. She admired the tenacity he applied to following his dream. But did that truly mean that he also wouldn’t have time for her?

  Discreetly, Kait reached for her phone and checked Jasper’s Twitter account. As she’d expected, he’d already posted several updates regarding his training even though it wasn’t yet ten in the morning.

  Been killing it in the gym all morning! @J_Duboix

  Play hard – work harder! @J_Duboix

  He’d even posted a picture of himself lifting some impressively huge weights. His biceps were flexed and beaded with sweat. Jasper was yet again pushing himself less than forty eight hours after a fight he’d only narrowly won.

  Kait scowled at her phone’s display before shoving it back in to her handbag. She was once again angry at Jasper, angry at his decision to push himself when he needed to rest. The time they had spent together had hardly been restful. When did he ever actually take the time to just stop and relax? If he carried on as he was, surely he’d just burn out.

  The sound of her desk phone ringing made Kait jump. She took second to clear her throat and prepare her most formal answering voice.

  “Good morning, Kaitlyn Stewart speaking.”

  “So! She lives!” Anna’s bright voice bubbled down the phone line. Kait cringed as she realised she’d neglected to contact her friend over the weekend which wasn’t like her.

  “Anna, I’m so sorry I’ve not been in touch this weekend. Things have just been crazy.”

  “If you say you’ve been busy with work, I’m officially disowning you!” Anna threatened.

  Kait took a deep breath and made sure that no one was lingering around her desk, eaves dropping on her conversation.

  “I was busy, yes, but not with work.”

  She could sense Anna’s mounting excitement on the other end of the line.

  “So what were you busy with?” Her friend asked breathlessly.

  “A guy.”

  Anna squealed down the phone, and Kait had to hold the receiver away from her ear for a few minutes.

  “Details! I need details!” Anna insisted once she’d finished screaming.

  Kait chewed her lip thoughtfully. She wasn’t really sure what there was to say about her and Jasper. They weren’t a couple. She didn’t know quite what they were.

  “It’s nothing really yet. We’re just…hanging out.”

  “Oh my God,” Anna gushed, “the last time you were just hanging out with a guy we were in college. This is huge.”

  “It really isn’t,” Kait could feel her cheeks burning. She wanted to share with her friend, but she also didn’t want to make her and Jasper out to be something more than what they were. He’d quite clearly told her that he didn’t have the time for her. But what did that even mean?

  “Are you okay?” Anna’s brightness became subdued with concern.

  “Yeah,” Kait sighed. “I’m fine.”

  “Dinner, after work. We clearly need to talk.” Anna instructed, and Kait didn’t have the energy to fight her on it.

  Chapter 16

  Despite her long day at work, Kait had no appetite. She pushed some potatoes around her plate with her fork and gazed absently across the restaurant.

  “I thought you’d be all glowing and excited over your new man,” Anna noted. She’d already polished off the salad she had ordered.

  “I was,” Kait admitted with a roll of her eyes. “But I feel like I never know where I stand with him.”

  “How so?” Anna propped her elbows up on the edge of the table and leaned forward expectantly.

  “When we’re together it’s…amazing,” Kait smiled slightly to herself, remembering the day spent in bed with Jasper. It had been perfect, and she’d never experienced anything like it before. But just a day later, and it seemed like a distant memory, something that had happened to someone else.

  “Ooh,” Anna smiled deliciously and arched an eyebrow in approval. “That good, huh?”

  Kait laughed nervously and waved a dismissive hand through the air.

  “I’m getting off track. When we’re together, yes it’s great but then when his attention switches back to his career, it’s like I’m invisible.”

  “So his career is important to him?” Anna deduced, nodding thoughtfully.

  “Very.”

  Kait thought of his much Jasper pushed himself, how he would fight night after night. What was he even trying to prove? He was already the best in his field. Yet he’d spent all day in the gym according to his Twitter feed. Kait found herself feeling jealous of all the focus he gave his career and his training. He hadn’t contacted her once during the day. If he had time to Tweet to his followers surely he had time to send her one lousy text message?

  Maybe it wasn’t so much that he didn’t have time for her; it was more that he didn’t want to make time for her.

  “What does he do?” Anna asked, her eyes wide with interest as she tilted her head.

  This made Kait pause. Jasper’s career was hardly a traditional one. He was a mixed martial arts fighter. If she told Anna as much, her friend would instantly be concerned.

  “Well?” Anna prodded her.

  “He’s an athlete.” Which was pretty much the truth. “And he’s extremely focused on his career and on training.”

  “Urgh,” Anna wrinkled her petite nose in dismay. “Athletes are the worst to date. They don’t drink, and they spend more time at their precious gym than with you.”

  Kait flinched at the honesty of her friend’s words. Already Jasper was forsaking her for training sessions at the gym, and they weren’t even properly dating yet.

  “But he’s just driven,” Kait found herself leaping to Jasper’s defence. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “No,” Anna agreed, “of course not. But it just means that there isn’t much room in his life for a relationship. And that’s what’s troubling you, right?”

  “Right.�
�

  A few days ago, Kait would have said that she didn’t have room in her life for a boyfriend. But then she’d met Jasper, and she knew that she’d make room for him. He mattered to her. What they shared together felt special and worth finding time for. She blinked back tears as she wondered if Jasper had any intention of ever calling her again. How could he spend so much time with her, in her bed and in her home and then just detach like he had?

  “If being an athlete is his life, it’s tough to ask him to choose between his passion and his passion for you,” Anna continued. “I’m sure both are equally as important to him, he’s just used to picking the one over the other.”

  “What would you do if you were me?” Kait asked, pushing away the remains of her dinner and letting her head fall in to her hands.

  “Well,” Anna eyed her friend with a sincere gaze, “I’d ask myself how good the sex was. If it was great then maybe it’s worth pursuing. Even a dedicated guy can be pulled away from his career for a steamy bedroom session.”

  Kait grimaced. She wanted to be more than a steamy bedroom session for Jasper. She wanted to get to know him, to understand what made him tick.

  “Maybe stop over thinking it,” Anna added helpfully. “If things are great in bed, just go from there to start with. All the other stuff will come in time.”

  “But what if I always come second to his career?”

  “Won’t he always come second to yours?” Anna quipped. Kait understood where her friend was coming from. For so long, she had always put her career first, chasing relentlessly after promotions. But Jasper had challenged that perspective. He’d made her want to chase after something more substantial than a pay rise. If she hadn’t had that same effect on him, then maybe she’d read everything wrong. Maybe in his eyes she was just a steamy sex session, another way to work out before a big fight.

  “Don’t let it get to you,” Anna reached across the table and gave her friend’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

  “I won’t,” Kait smiled falsely. “I’m just glad to be able to talk about it all with you.”

  “That’s what best friends are for,” Anna smiled warmly at her.

  Chapter 17

  Exhaustion hit Kait like a brick wall as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep away her sorrow. She was tired of Jasper plaguing her every waking thought. At least when she closed her eyes and slept she’d be able to get some respite from him.

  Anna’s words were still ringing in her ears. Was second fiddle to his career ever going to be enough for Kait? Maybe she needed to count her losses and just walk away from him now. Checking her voicemail as she walked, she noticed with a heavy heart that she’d still not heard from Jasper. Clearly walking away from what they had was proving much easier for him.

  Holding back tears, Kait pushed open the door to her floor and began walking towards her apartment. The hallways were blissfully empty. She turned a corner, and her door came in to view but there was something waiting outside it. Kait froze as she clocked the large bouquet of flowers bound together in a purple bow. They were propped up outside her door.

  With her heart beating excitedly in her chest Kait headed to her door, scooped up the flowers and let herself inside. The heady floral scent engulfed her senses as she pushed her way in to her apartment and flicked on the lights. The bouquet was made up of roses, lilies, and carnations; it was beautiful. Kait was so busy admiring it that she also didn’t notice the white card placed in the center. Reaching for it, she walked over to the kitchenette area and turned on the faucet. The flowers might have been out in the corridor for quite some time and would be in desperate need of water.

  Carefully she placed the flowers in the sink and searched for a vase. She rarely had fresh flowers in her apartment, but eventually she found a glass vase which had once belonged to her grandmother. She filled it with clear, cool water and then took a moment to drop the flowers inside, taking care to fan them out to give the flora their full, beautiful effect.

  Then she looked down at the white card. She opened the small envelope and slid out a thick white piece of card on which a note had been handwritten.

  I’ve not stopped thinking about you all day. Meet me tomorrow night?

  J

  Xxx

  Kait re-read the note at least a dozen times. It was from Jasper. She suddenly felt giddy with excitement. So he had been thinking about her just as much as she’d been thinking about him. Her face ached from smiling so much as she fingered the card and admired her flowers. He wanted to see her again. He wanted to see her the following night. This had to mean something; this had to mean that he wanted them to become serious.

  Reaching for her phone, Kait considered calling Anna and gushing to her about the bouquet, but her friend was probably still driving home as she lived further out of town than Kait did. Thoughtfully biting her lip, Kait called up Jasper’s contact details. She quickly typed out a message and pressed send before she had chance to rethink it.

  Thanks so much for the flowers they are beautiful.

  Tomorrow night sounds good.

  Kait xx

  She was careful to only put two kisses at the end of her message as opposed to his three. After all, she didn’t want to appear too keen. Only seconds later, her phone chirped as Jasper’s response came in.

  Can’t wait

  Xxx

  Kait beamed at the message, wanting to fully commit it to memory. He did like her. He did feel that something wonderful was developing between them. Suddenly Kait was no longer exhausted, she was wide awake and filled with giddy excitement over seeing Jasper again in less than twenty four hours.

  Chapter 18

  Kait had squeezed in to her favourite navy dress and curled her hair so that it fell in angelic waves down her back. She smelt of her favourite vanilla perfume and her lips were stained a deep red courtesy of her newly purchased lipstick. She was determined that her evening with Jasper would be perfect. They were going out for dinner which was a proper, certified date.

  “I’m thrilled!” Anna squealed down the phone when Kait called to update her. “Seems like you’ve found a decent guy after all.”

  “Yeah,” Kait agreed dreamily.

  At the restaurant, she immediately clocked Jasper standing outside waiting for her. He was wearing dark denim jeans, a white shirt, and a dark suit jacket. He looked suave and handsome, and just the sight of him made her heart start to palpitate with excitement.

  “You look stunning,” Jasper commented as she approached him, his eyes widening to take in the full spectacle of her carefully put together outfit.

  “Thank you,” Kait blushed and looked down at her peep toe shoes. “You look very handsome.”

  Not only did Jasper look handsome, but he smelt amazing. Standing beside him, Kait could smell the pleasant musk of his cologne. It was more pungent than normal. Clearly he’d made an extra special effort for their evening together.

  The restaurant they’d chosen for their date was in the center of town and already busy. Jasper had called ahead to book a table. As they were shown inside, Kait did wonder if he’d had to drop his name to secure such a coveted reservation.

  “Can I get you anything to drink?” The waiter inquired politely.

  “A glass of white wine please,” the request instantly rolled off Kait’s tongue. She needed the wine to steady her mounting nerves.

  “Just water for me.” Jasper said with a tight smile.

  “Just water?” Kait’s shoulders sunk in disappointment. She didn’t like the thought of drinking alone.

  “I don’t drink any alcohol when I’m training.” Jasper swiftly explained.

  “Oh.” Kait was surprised by how militant he needed to be in so many aspects of his life. Not only was his training regime strict, but it also bled in to other areas of his life, like his diet. Suddenly it wasn’t just the two of them on the date. Jasper’s career was there looming in the background, reminding Kait that s
he could never make it to the top of his list of priorities because the position had already been filled.

  “Everything looks good,” Jasper announced as he scanned the ornate menu. Kait glanced at the various, highly priced dishes but couldn’t concentrate. There was so much she wanted to say to him that maintaining a polite pretence over dinner suddenly seemed ludicrous.