Free Me (Caged Hearts Book 1)

by West, Heather

  “Congratulations on your win,” Kait kindly said from where she was standing just before the bench, her hands neatly clasped before her waist as though she were a formal school girl.

  “It was hit or miss for a while,” Jasper nodded thoughtfully to himself. “But I pulled through in the end.”

  Darkness gathered behind his swollen right eye; the promise of an imminent shiner. As Kait took him in, she noticed the tension in his jaw as he spoke and the way he was already sitting down when she arrived. How badly had he been injured during his latest fight? Was he now struggling to stand? Was he gritting his teeth through the pain?

  “I…um, I’m glad it went well for you.”

  Kait felt awkward in her own skin as she addressed him. How was this even meant to go? Was she breaking up with him or just saying goodbye? She didn’t even know anymore.

  “Did you watch?” The flash of a cheeky smile illuminated Jasper’s handsome face.

  “No,” Kait replied a little too sharply. “I was out with my friend.”

  “Oh,” Jasper’s disappointment was obvious as his shoulders slumped.

  “Look, about what you texted me last night,” Kait lifted her chin and summoned all her courage. She had to do this.

  “Oh, yeah? Shall we go back to your place?” Jasper began to struggle to his feet. As Kait suspected, he seemed unable to put all his weight on his right knee.

  “No, no, you can stay sitting,” she extended her hands to him, quickly gesturing for him to remain where he was. Bemused, Jasper ceased trying to stand up.

  “I…um…look,” Kait released an exasperated sigh. “Whatever this is, Jasper, I can’t do it anymore. You blow hot and cold, you tell me I’ll always come second to your fighting and then you expect to be able to come round as and when you please.”

  Jasper opened his mouth to speak, but Kait continued before he had chance to get the words out.

  “I thought there was something special between us. I was wrong.”

  Kait could feel the tears gathering behind her eyes. She wanted desperately to just cry them out, to shed waterfalls down her cheeks, but somehow she managed to remain composed.

  “You’re passionate about what you do, and I admire that, truly I do,” Kait sniffed. “I wish you the best of luck with your continued career as a professional fighter,” her lips were trembling she wasn’t going to be able to carry on much longer. “That night in the parking lot, you saved me. I’m eternally grateful for that. But I’m not prepared to pretend this is anything more than it is. So, this is goodbye. I hope we can part on friendly terms.”

  Taking a breath, Kait ceased speaking. Jasper blinked up at her, his eyes wide and his expression stunned as though she’d just shot him directly in the chest.

  “Goodbye Jasper,” she whispered before turning around and running off. She moved at such speed that even if he had followed her, on his bad leg he’d never have been able to catch up.

  Kait ran all the way out of the park. She didn’t care that she was now crying and attracting concerned glances from passers-by. All she cared about was getting back to her apartment. She’d done it. She’d released herself from Jasper, but instead of feeling liberated she felt wounded. Her chest burned as if it wasn’t Jasper she’d shot but herself.

  Gasping, Kait leaned against a tree towards the edge of the park. Stealing a quick glance behind her, she didn’t see Jasper hobbling after her. He’d just let her go. Of course he had. Wiping away some of her freshly fallen tears, Kait imagined him heading straight back to the gym without giving her a second thought. He’d have to find someone else to celebrate with now.

  “Goodbye, Jasper,” Kait repeated the words to herself, saying them clearly and with clarity.

  Chapter 28

  “You did what?” Anna exclaimed with shocked delight from where she was sat on the other end of Kait’s sofa. A half-drunk bottle of wine rested between them.

  “I told him straight,” Kait replayed the moment for her friend. “I wasn’t going to be used anymore.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Not much,” Kait remembered and felt a stabbing pain in her chest. What exactly had she been hoping he’d say? That he loved her, that he was sorry? Did she expect him to fight for her? And what if he had? Would she still have had the strength to walk away as she’d done?

  “He’s an idiot!” Anna insisted loudly. “An utter fool to let you just walk out of his life like that.”

  “Yeah.” Kait nodded, but if he were the fool, why was she now feeling foolish? Jasper had only ever been honest with her. He never told her she was his girlfriend; he didn’t tell her a load of lies just to get her in to bed.

  “Kait, you did the right thing,” Anna reached over and squeezed her friend’s hand. “He was making you miserable. No man is worth that.”

  Kait closed her eyes and sighed. When Jasper wasn’t making her miserable, he was making her happier than she’d ever thought possible. She’d scarified those moments and for what? Because he wasn’t willing to be her boyfriend? The more wine Kait drank, the more uncertain she felt about what she’d done.

  “Tell me about your mystery man,” Kait looked over at her friend, eager to remove the spotlight from herself.

  “Well,” Anna bounced excitedly, and her cheeks flushed. She was already obviously quite smitten with the new man in her life.

  “His name is Robert, and he’s in banking.”

  “Oooh.”

  “Which means he wears a suit to work.”

  “I approve.”

  “I know right?” Anna was giggling merrily to herself. “And he’s such a gentleman! Before he left my place, he made me a cup of tea and some toast!”

  Jealousy flared in Kait’s chest, burning her lungs and stifling her breath. Jasper had never made her breakfast. He always crept away from her bed while she was sleeping like a thief in the night.

  “He sounds lovely,” she noted kindly as she drank deeply from her wine glass.

  “He is,” Anna declared dreamily. “I mean, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I really like him.”

  “I’m happy for you.”

  “And you’re going to find someone,” Anna insisted brightly, “someone who treats you like the treasure you are.”

  As the night wore on, Anna talked more and more about Robert. He was from a good family, attending an all-boy’s school and had an impressive degree. On paper, he ticked all the boxes. Add to that the fact he was handsome and respectful and Anna had basically hit a home run.

  As Kait listened, she wondered how Jasper looked on paper. He’d had a troubled upbringing, being shoved from one foster home to the next. He got in with the wrong crowd, got in fights, and only found salvation when he entered the ring at a local gym. Jasper had trouble written all over him. Why had Kait ever been foolish enough to get involved with him? She should be with someone like Robert, someone reliable and well bought up. Someone she could take home to meet her father.

  Kait could only imagine what her father would make of Jasper. He’d probably be terrified of him.

  “Robert has some friends I could set you up with,” Anna noted breezily as she tumbled through more conversation.

  Kait straightened.

  “He does?”

  “Oh yeah, sure. I’ll find you someone; don’t worry. This fight of yours will soon be nothing more than a bad memory.”

  Kait nodded gratefully and bit her lip. Was that all Jasper deserved to be? A bad memory?

  Chapter 29

  That night, Kait couldn’t sleep. She kept thinking about Jasper, about their final moments together. She’d stolen several sneaky glances at his Twitter page and was surprised to find that he hadn’t posted any new messages all day. Nothing about being in the gym and getting pumped for his next fight which wasn’t like him. Maybe he really had been hurt by Kait’s words.

  Rolling on to her side, Kait stretched her hand across the space of her bed. The far half was vacant, the sheets still ti
dy. She longed to wake up beside someone, to have them kiss her lips and wish her a good day before heading out to work. For too long she had lived alone. She was ready to settle down with someone. She had thought that someone was Jasper Duboix.

  Sleepily she reached for her phone and pulled up his contact details. With just the press of a button she could be connected with him, hearing his deep voice even if it was just his voicemail. But what good would that do? If she heard him now when she was feeling weak she might be tempted to go back to him. She had to remain strong, to remain distant.

  When Kait had listened to Anna gushing about Robert, she realized that she wanted that too. A man who would make her tea and toast, a man worthy of boasting about. All she got from Jasper was heartache. And that kind of pain wasn’t worth all the sex, no matter how knee meltingly great it was.

  Jasper’s details were on her phone’s screen. She looked at the digits beneath his name. Just seeing them made a thrill of excitement dance down her spine.

  “I’ll always come second,” Kait said aloud, needing to cement the sentiment. She deserved to be more than second best to someone. She wasn’t just something for Jasper to do when he wasn’t training or fighting. And he’d expressly told her that his career would always come first. It was an absolute term; there wasn’t a ‘for now’ or anything added. He had no intention of changing, of settling down with Kait.

  More tears came and slid down her face towards her pillow. She kept her phone held before her, staring at Jasper’s name backlit by the screen. He’d walked in to her life like a larger than life hero. And now? Kait’s tears intensified as she locked her phone and threw it towards the carpeted floor. She drew her knees up to her chest and hugged herself tightly. The darkness of the room seemed harsher than usual. A part of her wished she was with Jasper instead of lying alone pining for him.

  “I have to be strong,” Kait told herself firmly. She was still uttering the words as she eventually fell asleep. She dreamt of gold teethed men and muscular arms which carried her like wings to safety.

  When she awoke hours later, the apartment was still around her. Sunlight had begun to filter in beneath the curtains bathing the bedroom in a pleasant glow. Sitting up, Kait took a second to get her bearings. Her head throbbed slightly from the wine she’d previously consumed, and her mouth felt unpleasantly dry. Glancing across the bed, Kait sighed upon waking alone. Anna was no doubt currently being treated to breakfast in bed. She’d called Robert upon leaving Kait’s place, and he’d immediately answered. When she suggested he come over to hers, he instantly accepted the offer. There was no pretence between them. Soon they would officially be a couple; Kait recognised the familiar pattern with her friend emerging.

  Anna would wake up in her bed as Robert came in smiling and holding her favourite mug with freshly made tea. Kait was waking up cold and alone. She looked longingly over at the side of the bed where Jasper had previously slept. It pained her that he never woke her when he left, instead preferring to creep away. It made Kait feel like there was some shame attached to what had happened between them.

  She could feel her eyes growing watery as she dwelled on Jasper for too long. She doubted he was thinking of her. He was probably already at the gym lifting weights and thinking about his next fight.

  “Get it together,” Kait told herself firmly as she climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. But everywhere she went, she was reminded of him. He hadn’t just taken up residence in her heart; he was also all over her apartment.

  As Kait stepped in to the shower, she decided that more than ever she needed the promotion at work and the new house which would be possible as a result of it. She needed to put as much physical distance between her and Jasper as possible. It was over, done with. He’d saved her, but not in the way she’d truly needed. If anything, he’d left her worse off than before. Now she was more determined than ever to focus on work so that she could leave the wretched apartment his essence now haunted.

  Chapter 30

  Sat in his trendy, minimalist apartment which overlooked the river, Jasper Duboix ached. His back throbbed and his legs burned. His entire body felt like it had been ripped apart and then crudely stitched back together.

  Wincing, he pressed the ice pack against his inflamed knee. The silence around him felt more potent than normal. With his free hand, he reached for the television remote and continued where he had left off with his favourite television show. He should be in the gym working out, doing reps, but he’d been forced to admit that he needed a day to rest.

  But in reality, Jasper wasn’t sure what he was actually getting over; the brutal fight in the ring or the death blow Kait had delivered to him in the park. She’d ran away from him before he even had chance to try and explain himself. And now he felt more alone than he ever had in his whole life. His bones ached with the pain of it.

  “Damn it,” Jasper ground his teeth and stretched out his injured leg. The ice pack was doing little to ease his discomfort. He glanced at the large plasma flat screen hanging on the wall above the decorative fireplace and tried to focus on the violent storyline, but his mind kept wandering away from the television show and back to Kait. Had she meant what she’d said? Was she really saying goodbye?

  Jasper dubiously eyed his phone which was placed beside him on the sofa. He should really Tweet an update to his followers. But what would he even say? At home today instead of killing at the gym due to…what? A broken heart.

  “Argh,” Jasper knocked his phone to the floor with a swipe of his hand. He was better than this. He didn’t want Kait. He’d been the one to push her aside. His career, it was always about his career. Ever since he’d turned sixteen, he’d lived with a single minded purpose: to fight as much as he could and to always win. Each time he won in the ring, he inched further away from the troubled boy he had once been. It was an ongoing journey, one which he couldn’t prematurely stop because he’d met someone.

  Flashes of burn fired up his leg bringing tears to his eyes. Jasper reached forward and massaged the area around his knee, but it didn’t help. He’d need to see a physical therapist before he could even think about starting up training again. His last fight had been much more brutal than he’d anticipated. His opponent was rested and hungry for victory. Jasper on the other hand was strung out and just trying to remain standing. But somehow he’d managed to dig deep and eventually flaw his opponent. The crowd had gone wild, clamouring to their feet cheering and chanting his name. Usually Jasper could lose himself in the sound of his own triumph, but this time the applause sounded hollow as it echoed in his ears.

  Kait was right. He was pushing himself too hard. Was he so terrified that if he removed his foot off the gas that he’d just slip back in to his old ways? Hadn’t he already moved on from all of that? He didn’t need fighting to remain stable, did he? Had his passion somehow become a crutch he was terrified to cast aside?

  Panting, Jasper pushed himself off the sofa and hopped over to retrieve his phone. Sweat glistened on his temple as he hastily grabbed it and began calling his agent, Carl.

  After three rings, Carl picked up.

  “Hey man,” Jasper was breathing heavily. “Can you send that physical therapist we use over to my place?”

  “Is everything alright?” There was tension in Carl’s voice which suggested he was displeased.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Jasper insisted, doing his best to breathe more slowly as he lowered himself back on to his dark leather sofa.

  “I’m just mad sore after that fight the other night.”

  “You’ve had ample time to recover. I heard you weren’t in the gym today.”

  Jasper squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head against his heaving chest.

  “Yeah, Carl, I’m sorry about that. I just needed a few days to recuperate.”

  “Well, while you’re holed up in your apartment watching back to back episodes ofBreaking Bad, your future opponents are in the gym, lifting weights, and doing reps. Getting stron
g. Do you want to be beaten, Jasper? Is that why you took a day off?”

  Jasper was already shaking his head, his gaze lifting sadly to the television screen where his favourite show was currently paused.

  “I’m the champion, Carl, you know that. Champions don’t get beaten.”

  “Then you need to get yourself down the gym and push through whatever pain you’re in. No pain no gain, remember?”

  Jasper stood up, and his knee immediately burned in protest, struggling to support his weight.

  “Shit,” Jasper gasped. “I’m not sure I can make it today, Carl. My knee is really busted up from where that guy clocked me with his kick.”

  “You’ve got to push through it.” Carl’s voice was stern.