by Holt, Leah
My chest was heavy, muscles burning from the inside out. I was surprised at how hard it was for me to breathe.
All of my mind was so wrapped up in her that breathing became secondary, I had to force myself to do it. The short inhales were quick and stale, hitting my lungs like sharp needles.
Grabbing the collar of my shirt, I pulled it over my head. Her eyes took in my chest, reading the ink doused on my skin.
Her slender fingers danced across the designs, tracing my abs down to the top of my jeans. Tugging my pants down, I watched her eyes grow as my cock bounced free.
Wrapping her entire hand around the base, she began to stroke my length. Pulling to the head, then slamming back down on my furry base.
I could feel my eyes roll back in my head, as I grunted with pleasure. “You weren't lying, it is amazing,” she said quietly, pressing herself off the mattress and smiling.
“Now I'm going to fuck you, Babe. Seeing and feeling are two totally different things. Your cunt will drip once I'm deep inside.” Inhaling a large gulp of air, I pushed her shoulders back down.
Avni let her legs fall open, hips rolling underneath me in need. “Then fuck me already.”
Holding her knees, I leaned in, teasing the entrance with my engorged tip. Grabbing my cock, Avni slid the head up and down the center of her pussy, coating it in her thick juice.
Guiding it inside, her back arched instantly the second my tip entered. In one quick thrust, I broke her open.
“Mmm,” she moaned, dragging her nails over my back. The sharp pain surged over my skin, enhancing every other pulse in my body.
Teasing her walls, I felt her pussy squeeze around me tight. Eating up my cock with each thrust, her soaked blossom clenched around my swollen muscle, milking me.
She was hungry, grinding her ass up to meet my pace. Her entire body was pushing against me, thrust after thrust.
Snapping the clip in the center of her bra, Avni let her tits fall free, hardened nipples standing tall. Driving my tongue down, I sucked on her breasts.
The tan flesh hit my tongue, rapidly I flicked the hardened beads as I fucked her harder. I could feel my balls tighten, the fire growing in my stomach had ignited and was making its way up my chest.
Her moaning became louder, thighs tensing around my waist. “Levi! Fuck, Levi!” she yelled, lifting her head to bite down on my shoulder. I felt the quiver crawl across her body, her thighs shaking around me.
That was it, I couldn't hold back. In one final thrust I filled her with my come. The tingles rode across my skin, goosebumps hitting the surface.
Pulse after pulse my cock jerked inside her pussy. The thick cream shot deep into her, my cock forcing it out in fury.
Falling to her chest, Avni stroked my hair, pulling on the strands and twisting them between her fingers.
“Wow,” she said between short breaths. “I have no words right now, I can't even think straight.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, rolling onto my back. “I don't even think I could walk right now if I tried.”
Giggling, Avni turned onto her side, head resting in her hand. And all she could do was lay there smiling.
I wasn't sure how long it had been since the last time she had sex, but it looked like I just released years of tension off her shoulders.
She actually looked taller, even though she was laying down. Her head was standing high, shoulders pulled back straight.
Avni looked genuinely happy there in that moment. Her skin was glowing the color of a sun kissed tan, eyes smiling just as large as her lips.
And I knew, I had found her.
The one who gave me all the feelings I'd always looked for. Feelings of being complete, the feelings of finding that person who makes you better.
The woman who lifted my heavy heart, who made breathing easier with every smile.
Avni gave me that, and I wasn't going to let her go.
Even if her fear tried to force me away.
Chapter Ten
Avni
Watching Levi tug his pants up over his hips, I still didn't want to move. I wanted to bask in how great I felt in that moment.
I couldn't remember the last time I felt so relaxed. It was something that if I had to really think about when, I would say it was long before Kevin's death.
“What time is it?” Levi asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. He let his body fall back, arms resting behind his head.
“I honestly don't know.” Rolling onto my stomach, I bent my legs up so my feet were dangling above my ass. “Why, you have someplace to be?” Smirking, I held my chin up on the back of my hand.
“Maybe, maybe not.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, brows furrowing down.
Smiling, Levi turned to face me. His hand traced the outside of my jaw, pushing the hair behind my ear. “Well, it means that it depends on what you're doing.”
Laying my head onto my hands, I giggled playfully. “I'm not sure yet, getting a drink might be in my future. You up for that?”
“Sounds good.” Pressing off the mattress, Levi leaned over and kissed my forehead. He smelled of sex, that lingering aroma of sweat and lust. Closing my eyes for a brief moment, flashes of him hovering above me, muscles hardened and firm sat behind my lids. Fuck he's intoxicating. “I'm going to head home, shower, and stuff. I'll call you later, okay?”
Bringing myself back, I opened my eyes in a daze. “Are you actually going to call? Or are you just going to show up again?” A smile teasingly pulled on the corner of my lip, eyes looking up at him under hooded lids.
“I guess you'll just have to wait and see, but be ready by seven, Princess.” Winking, he strolled out of the room. Tossing one last glance over his rock hard shoulder, and pulling his shirt over his head.
Hearing the front door close, I couldn't stop the smile hanging on my face. I could feel my body warm, the tingles hitting my belly and spreading over my body. I just fucked the hottest guy I've ever seen.
Replaying the whole scene in my head, my hands shot up to my face, shielding my eyes. I had just let myself fuck the only person I'd met that challenged my promise, and we didn't use a condom...
But I'm on birth control. Okay that's good.
Although my reason for the baby preventing pills wasn't exactly because I was active in the sex department. Ironically it was just to regulate my period.
But in that moment, I was grateful for its true purpose.
The words of my mother came into my head, 'Make sure he wraps it.' The simple request she gave, the smart thing I should have done. And didn't.
My chest felt tight, my ribs began to squeeze around my heart. The hard muscle beat faster, even knowing there was no chance I could get pregnant.
That's what birth control is for, calm down. You're fine.
I was shocked over what had just happened, and yet it all felt right. He had been the center of my thoughts for days, and I had finally given myself up to all the carnal desire I had been fighting.
A tiny voice began to emerge inside my head, the small sound hitting the front of my brain. Don't forget he's a soldier! You know that comes with a price, don't let yourself forget that!
Levi seemed to be everything I needed, but he was everything I feared.
He was a soldier, and if I let myself fall hard for that man, I could relive the same pain I went through with Kevin. That scared the shit out of me, it was the worst thing I had ever experienced.
And there was always going to be the risk of Levi leaving the same way my brother did, he already had the scar to prove it. Levi had been lucky, but how long would that luck last?
I knew that I couldn't give him all of me, there was a piece of me that needed to stay protected. If I gave him my heart, if I gave him all of me down to the very last drop...
And if he was torn from my world; the crash would be one I didn't think I could walk away from.
Just don't let it get serious. Enjoy the fun, but keep up a guard. I h
ad to keep a piece of my barrier up, keep reminding myself of what to expect. I knew if I did that then I could keep my heart whole.
Well, as whole as it could be at this point. At least I could keep what was left of it.
Need and want are two different things. I wanted him, I didn't need him. Lust was a strong emotion that if left untamed could be the downfall to my entire world.
Levi wasn't going to be the one to steal the very last piece of me I had left. I knew he had been through something similar, but we weren't the same.
I was me, I was Avni. And my weakness for him wasn't going to control my life, no matter how right Levi felt. I wasn't naive, I was lonely.
My world had been rocked by the loss of my brother, my best friend. And even though it'd been over a year, it still felt like it happened yesterday.
But Levi was right about one thing, I didn't need to stay cooped up in my apartment. I was ready to step out of my box and enjoy my time with him, but deep down I knew...
Love was something I wasn't going to let myself feel, with love came pain.
No more pain.
Standing in my closet, I flipped through the sun dresses hanging on the rack. It was only May, but the weather outside felt like mid-July. The air was thick and muggy, a hot breeze was blowing across everything.
Normally, being New England, it should only reach the upper sixties this time of year. But I was welcoming the summer weather.
I've always hated the winter. It's fun for the first couple of weeks, then the snow gets old and the ice made me nervous.
Pulling out my favorite dress, I held it up and smiled. The soft white silk was decorated in peacock feather designs across the bottom, the top had a stretchy elastic band that fit snugly around my breasts.
Searching my heels lining the top shelf, I grabbed my deep blue pumps that matched the feathers. Looking in the floor-length mirror, I held the dress to my body. This will be perfect.
It had been a long time since I dressed in something fancier than yoga pants or jeans. I really had kept myself locked away inside.
If I ended up going out anywhere it was always close by and never required more than a pair of sneakers.
The small bakery up the street was one of my favorite little places to grab a quick bite to eat. If I wasn't there, I was held up at home or eating at my parent's.
Butterflies had been swarming my stomach all day, even after Levi left. And despite my pep talk to myself to keep calm and only think about having fun, nothing serious, I was excited to go out with him.
Slipping my feet into my heels, I glazed my lids with a pop of blue, and darkened my lashes with black mascara. Brushing my cheeks with a hint of pink blush, I twisted my bangs up and pinned them on the top of my head.
Twisting around in my mirror, T sat beside me watching me with a blank expression. “What do you think?”
Flopping his tongue out of his mouth, his head tilted as I looked down at him and held the bottom of my dress out. “I'll take that as a good.”
Glancing at the clock, it was five of seven. He hasn't called yet, he's definitely just showing up.
I had only known Levi for a few days, but certain things seemed to be in his character, like showing up unannounced.
He had done it every time so far, I was sure tonight wouldn't be any different.
I was making a track across my living room, walking in circles waiting to hear him knock or hear my phone ding.
Glancing back at my phone, I lit it up for the thirteenth time in five minutes to see if I missed a text.
Which I knew I hadn't, I was holding my phone like it was glued in my hand.
T ran over to the door, his butt shaking vigorously as his tiny legs did a dance. My head cocked up, heart jumping in my chest.
Walking to the door, I placed my eye against the peephole. Levi was standing outside, his face held close to the small peek-a-boo spot in my door. His lips were turned up, teeth bared in a giant smile.
Turning the handle, I pulled the door open. “No text, or knock this time. How long have you been standing there like a weirdo on my step, and grinning like a fool?” Laughing, my hand fell to my hip.
Levi's eyes expanded, licking my body up and down. “Wow.” Biting his knuckle, he took a step back. “You look incredible.”
My soft pink lips raised up, tugging to my ear. “Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself.”
Holding his arms out, his eyes fell to the ground. “I clean up nice, I know.” He was wearing a fitted black t-shirt that wrapped his muscles tight, faded blue jeans, and crisp white sneakers. Turning his body in a circle, he flexed his arms. “I don't know if you're going to be able to keep your hands off me. But do your best.”
“Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.” Leaning down, I patted T on the head, and shut the door behind me. “Have any place in mind for tonight?”
“Nope, I figured I picked dinner, so it's your turn.” Holding his hand out, I wrapped my fingers in his. And my heart that was sitting in my throat skipped a beat.
The pulsing hit a rapid pace, my skin coming alive to just the touch of his hand. In the back of my head I kept repeating who he was; the soldier, the life that could be swept away.
Settle yourself, he's off limits to your heart.
“How about we go to Chester's? They have good drinks.”
“Sounds good,” he said, squeezing his fingers tighter. “You really do look gorgeous. I'm going to apologize now for eyeing you all night.”
“Stop.” Smacking his chest, we started walking towards the bar.
Inside I was trying desperately to hold onto the small section of my wall I had standing. That one piece that kept reminding me of what could happen if I fell for this man.
But each second, that was getting harder, and fading further from my grasp.
My hand fit perfectly into his, and his large frame made me feel protected. I liked that, feeling safe beside him.
I wasn't sure how true he was going to be to his promise to help me out from under Vito, or how the hell he planned on taking care of it.
But right then, Vito was a small thought in my head. Levi was riding my brain and making my chest hurt with each breath.
My God, what the fuck am I getting myself into?
I wanted to stop the feelings from flooding my veins, force them out and away. But when his hand squeezed possessively around mine, and his eyes looked my body up and down, coming to rest on my face; my stomach muscles seized.
“You don't see how beautiful you are? You have to know you're fucking sexy.”
“I didn't exactly grow up with guys knocking down my front door. That's the problem with having a twin who's a guy. The boys I grew up with thought we looked identical. Except for the fact I had longer lashes... Oh and a vagina.” Lifting one finger, I flicked it in the air. “Other than that, we were spitting images of each other.”
Levi laughed under his breath as he pulled me into his hip. “Well those boys had no idea what was standing right in front of them.” His thumb drew circles over the nub of my wrist, my small hand practically disappearing in his grasp.
Every muscle in my body was hot, like I was burning from the inside out. I felt my cheeks flush, the warmth coating my apples and spreading like wildfire.
He was smooth, knew how to make a girl feel special. The reaction my body gave, the intense flutters hitting every nerve showed me the inexperience I had with men.
I wasn't swooned as a young girl, I was never treated like I was the only woman in the world that mattered.
The last boyfriend I had was over six months ago, and when he left he said it was because I had no 'flare.' Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean.
Flare? Really? What man ever refers to a woman and her 'flare?'
He wasn't a loss I really cared about, I didn't even bat an eye. I ended up diving into work, picking up extra shifts, doing little tasks that other staff didn't want to spend their free time doing.
For me, it helped
my mind focus. But lately my focus had been compromised by Levi. And after spending the past few days with him, he had fully inserted himself into my thoughts. I couldn't for the life of me shake him out.
“Here we are,” I huffed out, drawing in a cool breath of evening air. It had started to cool down outside, true May taking form. Loosening my grip from his, I rubbed my shoulders as we waited in line to get into the bar.
Stepping behind me, Levi wrapped his enormous brick arms over mine. The warmth of his body encasing me like a human jacket made me tremble.
The shiver broke across my skin, the tiny mountains climbing my flesh as they erupted to life.
“Levi? Levi Hite?” A deep baritone voice hit my ears. “Holy shit! It is you, fuck man.” Levi turned towards the man, eyeing him with uncertainty. “It's me, Brian Dionne. We were in training together.”
“Oh wow, how's it going? It's been a long time.” The two men slammed their fists together, leaning in and squishing my small body between them. Brian was nearly as large as Levi.
Shit, what does the army have in their water? They grow their soldiers like medical muscled giants.
I thought the same thing after Kevin came home from basics. He seemed to grow three sizes in width. But he was solid, a wall of concrete with legs.
Brian reminded me of Kevin a little. And the hair, the hair was almost identical. Brian's hair was cut short, faded almost to the skin on the sides. His eyebrows were large and thick, crawling across his forehead like furry caterpillars.
He was dressed in fatigues, calf-high boots laced up tight. His olive green shirt was tucked snugly into his pants.
If I didn't know any better I would have thought he just dropped in here from a helicopter.
“I've been good, had a little girl not long ago, married, you know...” Holding up his ring finger, Brian rolled his eyes. “Doing the whole family thing.” His eyes suddenly focused on me, finally taking in my presence. “And who is this fine piece of ass?” His tongue slid over his lip, and I instantly cringed.
My shoulders slouched, leaning back into Levi, I pressed my palm into his chest. I didn't like the way Brian was eye fucking me while I stood there.
