by Holt, Leah
My savior raised his gun waist high, finger resting and twitching by the trigger.
Two men, dressed in completely ordinary clothing, stood before us. Their shirts were a little tattered, a little dirty. Their khaki pants still held a firm crease that rode down the center.
Nothing in their appearance gave away their true motives, they looked like any other men I would have seen walking the streets around here.
But that nothingness crumbled away to the steel death they both held in their hands. The barrels were fixed on our heads, the small openings grew in size as my eyes peered down the metal fire, freezing my feet in place.
We stood paused, the world around us melting away into an empty abyss.
Everything else near me faded, the sounds, the pops, the screams of the innocent. A gust of wind circled my ears, blowing soundless notes through my skull.
Was this it? Had everything I'd done led up to this very moment?
Flashes of my mother pierced my mind, flickering in a soft white light behind my eyes. The images mixed with the men in front of me.
Their emotionless caverns peered back at us, a blackened glare of nothing to lose. These two men had youth in their appearance, and death in their eyes.
They were lifeless, soldiers born into a world that lived without reason; that fought without remorse.
And we... We were their prey.
My savior brandished his weapon, yelling in their foreign language to leave. He screamed at them to go, his harsh words a broken mix of English and Dari tongue. His stern yells were peppered in fear.
But not fear of the men, not fear of his life...
Fear for them.
He let his mouth spew out caution, and gave those men every chance he could to turn and leave, to run away.
But they stood strong, guns raising higher. The soldier beside me met their standoff, inching closer with the his eye on the targets.
My fingers curled around the knife, nails digging deep into the leather wrap. I wanted to lift my gun, wanted to back up the man next to me.
But without his help, without my arm around his neck, I would've tumbled to the ground and been worthless by his side. I would've turned into target practice, a huge red dot might as well have been placed on my back.
One of the men bore a large scar across his cheek, his neck was dimpled in old explosive wounds. The flesh now healed and lighter than the rest.
He was barking at us, screaming with such demand that every word was followed by ravenous spit. He looked like a rabid animal, foaming in a hatred he'd never fully understand.
And wouldn't dare to question.
He was going to kill us, plain and simple. We were the enemy there, we were there for him to hunt.
A glint from the sun drew my eye to the trigger on his gun, his finger wrapping over the trip that he planned to end our lives with.
I didn't know where the energy came from, or how the pain in my thigh suddenly dissipated into a forgotten memory.
Was it adrenaline? Fear? Resentment?
It could have been anything, or everything all at once.
I wasn't dying there like that. I wasn't going to let either of those guys take my last breath. It wasn't theirs to take.
It was mine to keep.
Lunging forward, I sliced my knife through the air, aiming at everything and nothing. The silence that had consumed me quickly dissolved as gunfire smashed the surface.
The flashes of the rounds pierced the air, the spent casings hit the ground. I was so in tune with everything around my body that I swear I heard the small metal tubes hit the sand with a snapping thud.
Looking down, I was hovering over the open-eyed crypt of my fallen enemy. My knife was lodged in his throat, his gaze still the same as when he was standing.
A heavy hand fell on my shoulder as my lungs began to finally breathe again. “Hite, let's move! Go!” His arm shoved me forward, tossing its strength around my back.
That was the first time I had killed a man by my own hand. The first time I took a life from feet away.
And if I hadn't... The face below me warped into mine, the realization sinking in that it was him or me.
It wasn't going to be me. Not a chance in hell.
But I was shaking, trembling from the shoulders down. My eyes were wide and stunned, lips drawn back in relief and regret.
Even if he was my enemy, he was someone's kin. He had family, he had a life outside the war. And it was my hand that stole it.
“Hite! Look at me man, we need to go!”
“I had to, I had to do it.”
“Yes, you did, Hite. That's how this shit goes, it was them or us. Would you rather it was us?”
“Fuck! Fuck! I just fucking killed him.” Clawing at my jaw, my body was moving forward, but my mind was still there. Still peering down on the lifeless corpse, still living in that endless image.
Did he think of his family when it happened? Did he see it coming?
Did he regret being there in that moment?
Because I did. I regretted taking his life, regretted having to choose between him or me.
“Hite,” Squeezing my shoulders, the young-eyed soldier drew my focus onto him. “You didn't have a choice, we gave them the chance to leave, I told them to run. We can't let that eat away at us, it happened. But if you hadn't done that, they would've killed us. Trust me, I don't feel good about pulling the trigger, but I'm not dying here.”
Shaking my body, he twisted his head over his shoulders. “We have to go, now. Move, Soldier!”
My eyes caught the thin patch running across his chest. The darkened ink of his name highlighted against tan fabric. And in an instant my savior became real.
He was a man, a man just like me.
And we shared the rush of death.
***
The sun, it was warm and refreshing. It heated my cheeks, breaking over my forehead and steaming my hair.
Opening my eyes, I felt the rays across my skin for the first time in what seemed like forever. The last memory I had was blackness.
My body felt sore and weak, even turning my head was a challenge. Rocking my head towards the pressure against my side, a smile pulled across my jaw.
Her black hair was spread over my chest, fanning out like a wave of silk. I had to touch it, had to touch her. I hadn't noticed the tubes, or the heart monitor beeping.
Just Avni glowing beside me, tucked into the spot my body carved out for only her.
She looked peaceful, I didn't mean to wake her up, I didn't want to disturb the beauty that had evaded my eyes. She was here, right where she belonged.
What the hell happened? The hospital?
Even my brain hurt when I tried to think, the images and memories were all meshed together in one massive blur. The screen shots flickered, but nothing was fitting into its place.
Except for her, she was exactly where she needed to be, in my arms.
Where I planned for her to stay. Forever.
“Levi... Really? Levi...” Her hands flew to her mouth, catching tears before they hit her lap. “Oh my God, Levi.” Throwing her arms around my neck, Avni clambered her way onto my chest. She was shaking, fighting to inhale short breaths as she sobbed into my neck.
“Good morning, Beautiful.” Closing my arms around her back, I pressed her as close to my body as I could.
A heavy bump formed against my ribs, folding and moving as she firmly pressed herself against me.
Avni lifted her eyes to mine, unable to turn away, unable to blink. She stared in awe, dumbfounded and shocked, as her body continued to tremble.
“I can't believe you're awake. I can't believe I'm looking into your eyes right now. I need to get the doctor! I need to call your mom!” Pushing off my shoulder, Avni jumped to her feet.
She looked different, rounder, thicker. Lowering my eyes over her belly, a round balloon took shape.
Wait... Is she... My eyes exploded, reaching their limit. Pregnant?
Ho
w long have I been here like this? Avni's face was smooth, no more marks of harsh hands tainted her prefect skin. The bruises were gone, her almond shaped eyes now mirror images of each other. But her frame had changed, she was voluptuous, and curvy in a way she wasn't before.
As surprised and shocked as I felt, it also felt familiar and somehow known. Did I know already?
No. She never said she was pregnant.
Did she?
“Avni,” I forced out. My lips felt dry and cracked, throat coated in tiny burls that scratched as I spoke. “What's going on?” My eyes dropped to her stomach, brows raising high.
Cupping the mound on her belly, an eager grin painted her face. “Can you remember anything? The doctors told us if we talked to you that you could still hear us. Do you remember anything at all?”
Shaking my head no, I tried to force the pictures in my mind back in order. But everything was a jumbled mess, hundreds of puzzle pieces were sprawled across an open floor.
I remembered the night I went to look for Vito. I remembered how enraged I was when I saw what he had done to her. I knew I went to find him, I knew she wanted to tell me something...
Then the voices rolled in, taking my brain by storm. A multitude of sounds, words, imageless sentences that tossed around inside my skull. But none of the words made sense, none of them fit into any order.
“What the hell happened, Avni? I can't remember. There's too much going on in my mind to even start putting everything together. Tell me what happened? Tell me what he did to you. Did he do that to you too?”
Squeezing my wrist, Avni slid back into the bed with me, coiling her body around my weakened frame. “No, Vito didn't do this. I was hoping you'd wake up and remember.” Twirling her finger against my chest, She pulled my hand onto her belly. “This is our baby, Levi. This is what I wanted to tell you that night.” A small thump against my palm caused my hand to jerk away. Giggling, she said, “ I placed your hand on my stomach everyday you've been here. I wanted you to feel her, I needed you to to feel her. I hoped that if you did, you'd come back to me.”
A headache trampled through my brain, the pounding exploded behind my eyes. “You're pregnant? You're having my baby? When did you find out?”
“The night Vito beat me. The doctors told me in the hospital, but I didn't get the chance to tell you.”
“Vito, fuck! Vito, I—”
Her hand slipped up my chest, fingers cupping my cheek. “Vito's dead, Levi. He died that day, the same day he shot you, the same day he stabbed you. He's gone, we don't need to worry about him anymore.”
What is she talking about? Shot, stabbed...
I couldn't wrap my head around it, I didn't remember any of that. None of it. Vito had shot and stabbed me, and yet he was the dead one?
How did that make sense?
He's dead? How was she sure, how could she know for sure?
Did I kill him?
I killed again.
How much time has gone by?
Letting my head fall into the pillow, my lids sealed tight. “What happened? How long have I been like this?”
“It's been four months, Levi. You've been in a coma for four months, but you came back. We practically buried you, they said you were gone. But they were wrong, you came back. You did what you said, you protected me. And you didn't leave, you stayed.” Avni placed delicate kisses across my arm, over my chest, hitting my chin. “I love you, Levi.”
My nerves went into overdrive, stomach clenching and rolling with knots.
“What?”
“I said I love you, you haven't heard it I guess, like they said you would. But I love you, and I've told you that everyday you've been here.”
Scrunching my brows, it was all too much for me to digest. Four months I had been asleep in a hospital bed, four months I had been in a lifeless coma.
Four months ago I killed again.
And Avni's having my baby.
Wrapping a feeble arm around her back, I pulled her up to my face. “You really love me? You love me knowing I killed a man for you?”
“I love you for what you did, I love you for keeping your word...” Her slender fingers glided down my chin, thumb rolling under my jaw. “I love you because you gave me my life back, Levi.”
Exhaling a hot breath, my entire body ached. Every inch of me was hurting, every nerve was twinging with pins and needles as if my entire body had fallen asleep and was waking that very moment.
“Avni, you need to know something. Something I've been keeping from you, and I don't know how to tell you.”
“Just say it, tell me. You have the chance to tell me, so take it.” Her hands ran over my shoulders, stroking the muscles of my chest. “I've been talking to you for months, now it's your turn.”
Her tender touch drove the blood down hard, my cock twitching and coming to life instantly. At least that muscle doesn't ache.
To feel her, to see her, she wasn't the same person I left. Everything about her screamed reborn, she was shining and streaming with a confidence she had misplaced long ago.
“Avni, Vito isn't the first guy I've killed. I've killed before, in Afghanistan.”
“Levi, you were at war, I understand that. And the cops never said you killed Vito anyway, they haven't said much about it at all honestly.”
“No, war doesn't make it easier, Avni. I went to find Vito, I went looking for blood. And I know what I found couldn't have been short of a slaughter. But there's more, did you ever get that letter I sent you?”
Her eyes grew three sizes, the deep browns popping with gold and yellows that expelled to the edge. “Yes.”
“I found you because it was fate, Avni.”
“Levi—”
Holding up my hand, I said, “The first time I saw you, there was something familiar about you I couldn't place. Then when I saw you at the cemetery that day, I knew why. The scar on my leg, the man who saved my life, he sent me to you...” Holding her chin, I tipped her face up higher. “Your brother saved me, Avni. Kevin pulled me to safety, he brought me back to life. And I don't think it was coincidence I was there that night for you.”
Her lips went thin, eyes darting around sharply across my face. The surface of her gaze glossed over, welling up with tears. “What? Kev... Kev saved you?”
“I didn't realize it till I saw his name on the headstone, but then it all came crashing in. Your brother was a hero, he saved me. And that's why fate brought me to you. If he hadn't saved me, I wouldn't have been there that night to help you. If he hadn't risked his life, I'd be dead.” Brushing her hair behind the shell of her ear, Avni's face softened as the tears broke free. “I always wanted to find him and thank him, I never got that chance. And when I realized you were his sister, there was no way I was ever going to let anything happen to you. And I won't ever let anything happen to you.”
Avni sat in silence, her eyes flooding her cheeks in a river of tears. Scooping her in my arms, I held her tight and firm.
“I love you, Avni, I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. And I'll always love you.” Kissing her head, she wept into my chest. “You brought me back to life, you gave me strength to keep living. I can't thank you enough for that. And I'll never leave you again, I promise.”
I wasn't sure if Avni would ever realize how much I loved her.
She made the sun rise even if it was dark, she made the air worth breathing even it was sour.
She was my heartbeat.
And now, she was going to be the mother of my child.
Avni had given me life.
Speaking into my shoulder, she dug her fingers into my sides. “I can't believe Kevin was the one, I can't believe that of all the places in the world you ended up here.”
“I can. Like I said, it was fate. I was put there for you, I was your protection.” Kissing the top of her head, my fingers spun softly through her hair.
“You're my soldier.” Plucking her face off my chest, Avni drove her lips onto mine. Her wet
kiss quenched my thirst, their soft aloe surface caressing life back into my sandy skin.
My heart raced inside my chest, slamming into my ribs with every beat. She had been here for me, stayed by my side even when my life was in question.
Avni had grown in strength, her fear of loss had been swept away.
Her tongue slipped into my mouth, licking and tasting as it brushed the ridges. With just one sip of her lips, my cock had turned rock hard. The engorged member ready and eager for release.
Pulling her lips back, a delicate slurp broke between our mouths. “I think I'm in shock right now,” she said, whispering with her breath.
“My cock's in shock right now, maybe you can play nurse and take care of that.”
Avni danced her fingertips over the proudly attentive cock hidden in white. “I bet you're in real need for a little play time, huh?” Stroking down my length, her hand gripped the base. “It's been way too long since we had any fun.”
A deep cough sounded from the doorway, followed by a low awkward voice. “I, uh... I might recommend taking it easy for a little while, Son.”
My head snapped up, Avni shoved herself off the bed. A twinge of pain hit my back and chest with her jarring movement.
A man was set firm in the door, his white jacket hung open exposing his ridiculously bright green, button-down polo. Flipping open a clipboard, he stepped inside with a fast lunge of his leg.
“I'm guessing you're a doctor.”
“You're guessing right, I'm Dr. Gough. Welcome back, Mr. Hite, we've been waiting for you.” His mouth raised instantly, a grin spreading from ear to ear.
“Can you tell me what the hell happened?” I wanted to lift my arm, wanted to stretch it far up over my head. My mind was demanding the muscles to raise, ordering my arm to reach up. But I could barely get my hand over my shoulders. “Why am I so weak?”
“Levi, you've been out for quite sometime, your muscles haven't been used at all. You have some limited mobility I'm sure, but I'm not going to sugarcoat this. You have a long road ahead of you, and I can't guarantee the outcome.”
Watching my hands, I rolled each finger into my palm. Digging my nails in hard, I tried with everything I had to draw blood. I wanted to see the red drip off my hand, I wanted to feel the pain as it sliced through my skin.
