The Secrets We Keep: Secrets and Revelations Book One

by Selina Marie

  “Fuck them,” he spits out aggressively. “They don’t deserve you and they sure as fuck don’t deserve your tears.”

  I swear he’s getting angrier by the second. Lukas glides his thumbs over my cheeks, collecting the tears that still track down my face. He bows his head for a few long moments before bringing it back to mine. He looks so troubled and I can’t place why. Part of me thinks—stupidly hopes—that in a way, seeing me like this is causing his reaction. But that’s only because the feelings I have for him have continued to grow and spread throughout my body, weaving around every part of me, strangling me tight like a Swallow-wort. The sensation is destructive but holds me together, otherwise I’ll fall apart, and I don’t know if I could piece myself back together. Deep down I want him to feel the same way about me. It’s fucked up, but it is what it is.

  When he lifts his head to mine, the pain etched on his face makes me want to run my fingers over his clenched jaw and smooth out the worry lines that plague me, as I take him in. He swallows audibly and says, “Alexis is not who you thought she was, and that’s not on you, Emilia. Look, fuck. I’m not good at this talking shit but, don’t ever fucking blame yourself for any of this. Do you hear me?” He grips my chin in his hand again as his words reach deep into my soul, like he knows exactly what’s going through my head.

  “I have to go meet Nate, but I’ll be back later, ok?” he says, trying to be gentle, but there’s a hardness beneath the words he speaks.

  “Can’t I come with you? I’ll behave, I promise.” Smiling a sad smile, I watch him as he battles with his thoughts.

  “Fine. Let’s go,” he almost growls.

  ◆◆◆

  Thirty minutes later we’re driving in his SUV down a dirt track, that looks like it’s hardly ever used. The dirt clouds the air outside making visibility limited. I can see another SUV pretty much the exact same vehicle as this one, parked next to what looks like an old warehouse. It instantly gives me chills and I don’t know why. But all of the years I had to live with Robert, looking over my shoulder constantly on edge, I trust the uneasy feeling twisting in my gut, because it’s never been wrong before.

  When the car stills and the engine is off, Lukas turns to me. “Listen, I won’t be long, if you need me, text me. Do not get out of this fucking car. Do you hear me?” His face is impassive, but his voice is threatening. There’s a glint of darkness in his eyes that alone makes me feel on edge, and the only thought that’s ringing loudly in my head, is that I shouldn’t have come here.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Lukas

  I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking bringing her here. One fuck up and shit hits the motherfucking fan, and I won’t be able to blame anyone but myself.

  Now all that’s left to do is pray to the god I don’t believe in, and hope she listens and stays in the goddamn car.

  I block her from my mind as much as possible because now… Now it’s time to fucking play.

  I slide open the door to the warehouse, the metal protesting obnoxiously loud. Fortunately, I parked a few minutes down the track so that Emilia wouldn’t hear a sound.

  I round the corner, finding Nate sitting down on a chair, his feet up on the table sliding his blade through his fingers. He looks abnormally bored. His eyes lift, acknowledging my presence but he doesn’t make any other move.

  “Fucking finally! Where the fuck have you been?”

  His heavy steel capped boots hit the floor with a thud as he stands, flipping his blade back and forth. He steps closer, his face curious as he watches me intently.

  “You don’t look as pissed off as usual…” he tilts his head and smirks. “In fact, I would say you almost look mildly satisfied.” I don’t answer, just give him back a fucking smug smirk of my own, offering him his answer without the words. Not that he’d need them, he’s my brother and knows me better than anyone.

  “Hey good for fucking you, brother. At least one of us is getting his dick wet.” He almost sounds jealous and definitely frustrated, sexually and otherwise. That fucking throws me off cause Nate pretty much has permanent residence in pussy—multiple pussies.

  I raise my eyebrows in question, crossing my arms over my chest, admittedly enjoying this moment. Nate doesn’t get rattled, but I can tell there’s definitely something or someone getting under his skin.

  “Nah, man, not getting into it.” And that’s that, when Nate doesn’t want to talk about something, good fucking luck trying to get him to speak, even to me.

  I turn to the center of the warehouse and find who I’ve been waiting for. Two whole fucking years I’ve been waiting for this moment. I want to drag it out and make it last, and the monster inside of me wills me to follow through, but I know I won’t, can’t have the fun I usually would.

  Years of witnessing my own mother get pushed and smacked around had instilled my vow that I would never physically hit a woman. I won’t break that vow, not even with her. But it doesn’t mean I can’t scare the shit out of her, and relish in every glorious second of her fear.

  Purposeful steps bring me closer, until I’m standing a foot in front of her, close enough to smell the fear, mixed with the faint smell of sickly-sweet perfume and sweat. Alexis’s hands are tied behind her back, cable ties securely around her wrists. Her ankles bound to each of the chair legs, and the girl chose an unfortunate outfit for the day she got abducted, another obscenely short skirt and a tight tank top where her tits are almost falling out of it. The girl wore the skimpiest outfit, clearly coming here with the intention that I would be fucking her brains out. Oh, I will be fucking her, just not in the way she wants.

  Alexis’s head is down, her chin to her chest. I can’t see her face as it’s hidden behind a curtain of blonde hair and she looks like the fair-haired version of The Grudge.

  My boot hits the metal, kicking the chair leg and her body jolts upright, instantly alert. Her blue eyes flicker around the space, taking in her surroundings. Once she raises her head and locks eyes with me, I’m yet to see any fear, and that pisses me off. I guess I’ll have to up my game. A normal young woman of twenty-two years old, who’s been snatched away from her privilege, would be utterly terrified, probably sobbing and getting snot and shit all over the place, desperately pleading, begging for us to let her go, but not Alexis. She is a different kind of monster. Don’t get me wrong, Nate and I are much, much worse and there is no comparison. Maybe it’s the fact that this woman has fucked with me personally, with my family. Now she’s fucked with my girl and there’s no coming back from that, only my own retribution.

  “Rise and shine, princess,” Nate leans over Alexis, whispering into her ear, blowing her hair, and I catch her flinch, only slightly but I see it—fucking good.

  Still unsure of what Nate was up to while he was alone with her, it must have affected her to have even a slight reaction to his whisper. Nate’s got my back, and he wants to rip this bitch apart just as much as I do. He knows what she did, who she took from us.

  I know how Nate plays. He fucks you up from the inside out, in that order. It’s our favorite method when we need to pry information from a person. We beat them down until their defenses are deemed utterly useless, and then we beat them down on the outside. We’re fucked up, always have been, always will be.

  Alexis’s voice is groggy when she speaks; she must not have had much to drink. Another tactic that people like us play with—you’ll discover that when a person is denied basic human necessities, the desperation of simple things such as water, becomes like a cancer eating away at them, eventually developing into the catalyst of their own unravelling; the answers spouting out of their mouths like they’ve been injected with truth serum, if you push them far enough.

  “Consider me disappointed, Lukas, and I was going to be so good to you.” She grins playfully and it’s almost comical that she’s trying to flirt with me while she’s bound to a chair in the middle of nowhere, completely helpless. I can’t help but laugh at her attempt. She has no idea how
little of an effect she has on me and her effort is nothing but wasted and pathetic.

  “Oh, darling, you wouldn’t have the first idea of how to be good to me,” I taunt her.

  “Wouldn’t matter either way though. I don’t fuck desperate whores.” I’m enjoying goading her, and I grin when my words visibly rattle her, and she thrashes around like a caged banshee. “Let’s get to it, shall we? I have much better things to be doing.” I snarl, grinning when I hear Nate say, “I bet you fucking do,” under his breath.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about—” Alexis tells us, feigning innocence before I cut the bitch off.

  “Cut the shit, you know exactly why you’re here. And you are fucking deluded if you think you’re getting one foot out that door until I get what I want,” I growl, the heat inside my body getting hotter as my temper rises.

  “Or maybe you won’t get one foot out of that door at all,” I threaten, a fierce scowl carved into my face.

  “Please, Lukas, you can play the big bad wolf all you like, but I know you won’t ever lay a violent hand on a woman. You forget how close your brother and I were.” She smirks.

  The tremors possessing my entire body are my first sign that the monster has surfaced.

  She should know better to have dared to say those words to me; the beast’s ready to rip her to shreds. All I need is one more push and she will regret it.

  I feel Nate move closer behind me, like he could sense the change in my body, ready to step in if I need him.

  “I saw the black eyes and the bruises that your father gave your mother, Lukas. I saw every mark that covered Elijah’s body that he wouldn’t speak about. Your brother got beat so badly he couldn’t even open his eyes, and the worst part is, he did it all for you. Such a waste really. Do you know how much I cared for your brother, Lukas?” she gloats, taunting me.

  The beast wins, and I fucking snap.

  Her words shattering through the wafer-thin line my rage was flirting with.

  My knee lifts and I drive my boot into the edge of the chair with every bit of force my body has. It hits straight between her legs and the screeching of the metal chair against the stone is deafening as it flies and flips back, Alexis’s head cracking down hitting the ground.

  “You fucking killed him, you bitch!” I roar with rage that shakes my whole body, my feet thumping against the concrete heavily as I stalk toward her and reach down, grabbing her by the throat and lifting her into the air, still tied to the chair. I see the struggle, pain and fear that plasters itself across her features. I know the weight of the suspended chair and the force of gravity tugging at her body, while I fight the equilibrium with my hand firmly gripped around her throat, holding her in the air. I hope it fucking hurts.

  Eyes wide and bulging, Alexis struggles for breath, her throat making unnatural sounds as it fights for air that she doesn’t deserve to breathe. Her hands still bound behind her, unable to fight and claw at the grip I have around her neck. More hatred than I have ever felt for anyone burns every cell I am made of when I glower into her eyes. The seconds ticking by as I watch the fear dominate her face.

  Dropping her and the chair, they both hit the ground—the chair almost toppling over again but it stays upright, just teetering on the edge. Reaching down into the side of my boot I pull out my switchblade, flicking it up and baring the silver blade that’s been stained with so many different shades of blood over time. Alexis’s eyes concentrate on the blade, the fear still written all over her. I see her body shaking, her breathing ragged as she desperately sucks in the oxygen she was momentarily deprived of, and I know I have finally got the desired reaction that I’ve been wanting. Granted I lost my shit, but only a little bit—and I’m not even close to being done.

  Leaning over until I’m only a few inches away from her face, I bring my blade up to her cheek, pressing the blunt side against her skin. Her breathing hitches and I know she is scared shitless. The bitch thought she could rile me up, she thought she knew who I was, and she was sorely mistaken.

  My mask is back, my composure in place for now, and the monster inside, satiated for a little while, though he always wants more.

  “I do wonder what pushed you to do it, Alexis. Was it hard only being seen as the desperate slut that you are? Never measuring up to the girl he really wanted?” Alexis growls as I spit out taunts.

  “He told me once what he liked so much about her… he said she was pure, full of fire, the sexiest girl he had ever laid eyes on.” I continue with my onslaught as I flip the blade over, the razor-sharp side now pressed lightly on her cheek.

  “He said that she was nothing like you. How does it feel to always be less than her? You know, it’s funny really, you always had a dirty thing for my brother and me. So how does it feel that neither of us wanted you, we only wanted Emilia.”

  She shakes with rage and lunges for me, still restrained, but all it does is push the edge of the blade into the soft flesh of her cheek, crimson painting the silver and her face as it tracks to her jawline, dripping down.

  Her screeching soon turns to deranged laughter, and I notice her gaze has shifted to the door.

  I feel her before I see her, and I should have known she wouldn’t follow my orders. But when my eyes hit hers, the tortured and horrified expression on her face almost guts me on the spot.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Emilia

  I’m stuck, rooted to the ground as my sister’s crazed laughter fills the space around me, my ears ringing, and my head dazed and confused. I didn’t know what I expected to find when I left the car, walking up the dusty track to the dark, creepy warehouse, but it was not this. Not my sister tied to a chair, Lukas’s hand around her throat, holding her in the air, murder in his eyes and every fiber of his being.

  Never have I seen him like this, a monster. My heart pounds in my chest as I try and follow what they’ve said.

  Alexis killed his brother?

  That can’t be true. She couldn’t possibly have done that, she couldn’t have that malice in her. I mean I know she isn’t the girl I idolized for so long. She is heartless and selfish, but surely, she’s not a killer?

  Everything is playing out in slow motion as I replay Lukas’s words about his brother—wanting me. Both of them wanting me. What the fuck?

  I didn’t even know his brother. Nothing makes sense, and the sight of red streaking down Alexis’s face slams me back to reality.

  I stare into Lukas’s eyes, horrified at what I’m seeing.

  Alexis is still cackling like she’s on the verge of insanity, but the sick delight in her eyes makes my stomach churn.

  “What the fuck is going on!” I yell at Lukas, my voice hoarse. I’m still unable to believe what’s happening in front of my eyes and every word that has been spoken.

  “You were supposed to stay in the car, Emilia. Fuck!” Lukas yells, his face torn between so many different emotions, the most prominent being anguish, his voice strained.

  Why the fuck is Alexis still laughing? Nothing about this is funny! It’s more fucked up than I could ever imagine.

  “You haven’t told her anything, have you?” She’s looking at Lukas now, her grin with the blood still dripping down her face making her look unhinged. Maybe she is…

  Lukas stays silent, and if looks could kill, Alexis would be dust on the ground.

  “What does she mean? What haven’t you told me?” I tilt my head aiming my questions at Lukas, trying to grab his attention, but his intense and dangerous glare is lasered in on Alexis.

  “It’s almost sad… poor perfect and pure Emilia.” She spits out the words as if they’re poison on her tongue. “You’re so naïve that it’s pathetic. Now come on, don’t play dumb. You have to have thought about this.” She pauses, scowling at me as if I’m shit on the bottom of her shoes, as if I am nothing. Her words shift something in me, my stomach turns, and I feel sick. “We left you. Why would we have left you?” She lets out an impatient puff of air, and the
cruel expression on her face makes me realize I never really knew her, not really.

  “Come on, Emilia, don’t play dumb. You always were the outcast in the family. You never could keep up with me. Mom tolerated you for a little while, and then I finally got my dream. To be free of you. Everything fell into place after my father found us."

  “Wait, our father found us?” I ask, trying to keep up with all of this information and the viciousness in her voice, and that hurts me more than I care to admit.

  “You’re not listening!” Her voice raises as she’s getting angrier, as I am clearly missing something. I glance to Lukas who’s frozen on the spot, unmoving, and mute with his eyes not focused on anything in particular.

  “What is it? I don’t know why you left me! I don’t know why Mom left me!” I scream at her. Finally done with the cryptic words, and fucking done with this whole damn day.

  “You’re not my fucking sister, you are not my mom’s daughter, you are not my family. You. Are. Nothing.” The pitch of her voice is shrill as she pierces the surroundings with her words that make me falter.

  I can’t speak, frozen in place battling with myself whether to believe something so monumental and farfetched or laugh at the absurdity of it all.

  I don’t get to reply though.

  “And the worst part is—"

  Suddenly Lukas snaps out of his trance, his voice dripping with venom and a look of realization sweeping across his face when the words leave his lips.

  “Don’t you fucking dare!” he snarls loud enough to make me jump. The panic in his voice throws me off and dread settles deep down in my belly, knowing something is wrong.

  And my world is thrown off its axis when Alexis speaks again, “The worst part of it is… Lukas knew everything the entire time.”