An hour later, Johanna decided to walk the property and hoped she could find Benjamin somewhere along the way. Nancy had said he’d probably be in the barn with his brothers, so that was the first place she headed. It was quite a walk, but even halfway from the house she could hear laughter ringing out. It puzzled her, so she walked more slowly and quietly, and rather than going to the doors of the barn, she went to the side and tried to peek in through a crack between two boards. Unable to see anything, she pressed her ear to it instead, feeling only a tad bit guilty. She really liked Annabelle and Ruth, but wasn’t sure about their husbands as of yet.
It didn’t take long to dislike them.
They howled with laughter as Benjamin described Grandmother pointing to him and dragging him out of father’s office, then his argument with her. When he repeated, “Hey, I’m not your dog to sit at your beck and call,” then imitated Grandmother’s response, that if he didn’t sit he was going to be treated as a dog, the brothers laughed so hard they were wheezing and leaning against the walls of the barn for support.
The feelings ricocheting through Johanna’s chest were mixed. Indignation. Anger. Hurt. Fighting laughter, because she hadn’t seen this funny side of Benjamin before, but most of all wondering why he’d married her if he felt this way. Was it just for the money? It was something she’d wondered before, but had disregarded in their time together. Maybe it was something to revisit. She hadn't been exactly likable when they'd first met, trying to hit him and filled with so much anger.
Slightly nauseated, Johanna turned around and sat in the tall grass and leaned against the barn, listening as Benjamin told their story, thankfully leaving out the intimate parts, until he came to their need to get married and come here. Mostly she ignored them, her heart aching. Why had he hidden part of himself from her? Did he really have no feelings for her?
“But you don’t really love her?” asked one of them.
“What do you think, Matthew?” Benjamin asked, putting it back on Ruth’s husband.
The man laughed. “I think you married her for the money. And she’s very pretty, if I do say so myself.” His cackle had a dark edge to it.
Johanna heard a thump, then one of the men cried out. “What did you do that for?” Matthew asked, obviously pained. What happened to him?
“You shouldn’t ever talk about a man’s wife like that, no matter how long they've been together or why they got married. It may not be what I planned for my life, but it’s what I’ve got.” Benjamin sounded angry.
“It’s just, the way you were talking, it sounded like you didn’t take it seriously,” Matthew said, a whine creeping into his tone.
Benjamin didn’t say anything, which actually angered Johanna more than if he had. He needed to stand up for her more.
Finally the men left, William calling over his shoulder. “My condolences, Ben. You deserve better.”
That was the final straw for Johanna. She put her head between her knees and cried.
* * *
When Johanna approached the barn, Benjamin was brushing down the three horses and stabling them. She waited in the doorway, arms stiffly at her side, until he was finished and turned around to see her. He froze in place, his eyes going round, as if she’d startled him, but also as if he felt slightly guilty, and well he should.
He nodded toward her. “Anything I can do for you, Miss McDonough?” He turned and continued to brush her mare.
She put her fists on her hips. “Oh, so we’re back to Miss McDonough now, are we? I thought we’d gotten past that, Mr. Jarrett.” She knew her voice sounded bitter and angry, but didn’t care. She was bitter and angry.
Benjamin stopped and turned toward her, cocking his head a bit. “I don’t understand. I’m just trying to be polite, and I’m not used to being married yet. Isn’t that what a gentleman does?” He seemed honestly confused by her upset.
Her lips tightened and she shoved him backward. “You are so obtuse. Do you realize that?”
His lips tightened with anger. “Look. If you’ve got a problem with me or my family, then tell me. We don’t walk around things. You have a problem, spit it out. I didn’t bring you all the way out here for my health, Mrs. Jarrett.”
The last was a barb. She knew it. Felt it deep in her soul. She actually growled. “No. You brought me out here so you could get paid for doing nothing. I don’t know why I thought anything would be different than it’s ever been. All any man wants from me is my money.” She shoved him again—or tried to. This time he grabbed her hands and held them close to his chest, wincing only slightly.
“Do you actually believe that?” He sounded stunned. “How can you not see my feelings? How can you be so intelligent and so stupid at the same time?”
She tried to push away from him. “I’m not stupid! I heard you talking to your brothers. I heard the way you mocked me and my grandmother and my father. I was right outside! You never disagreed with them about marrying me for money. Never stood up for me at all.” She was in tears now, and she hated it. She was so angry, the tears were more a release of her emotions than from the pain. “I know when I’m not wanted. I know when—”
Benjamin leaned forward and kissed her, hands pinned between their chests. It was a desperate kiss, more a smashing together of their lips than a true kiss, but when he pulled back, she found herself slightly breathless and dizzy, a combination of the feelings that arose within her. She loved the scratch of stubble on his face and those darn curls she wanted to run her fingers through again. Nothing to stop her now that they were married.
Despite being angry with him, she pulled free of his grasp, and reached up and shoved her hands into the curls at the back of his neck, then pulled him forward. He looked surprised, but stepped closer with her pull. She brushed his lips softly across hers, as gentle now as he had been rough before. It stirred her blood in a way she’d never expected. Wrapping his arms around her, their kiss deepened, and she didn’t want it to end. She could spend the rest of her life, wrapped in his arms.
All too soon, he pulled away, looking more dazed than ever. He still held her close, and she rested her cheek against his shoulder, wanting to keep their close connection for as long as she could.
He held her for a bit. It seemed neither of them wanted the moment to end. This was not what she expected. She'd been so angry with him just a minute ago, but one kiss changed everything. What was it about him that made her want to grab hold and never let go?
She had so little to offer. They’d been given two weeks to fall in love, and now were wed less than a week later, hardly knowing each other. If he was expecting money out of her, he was going to be unpleasantly surprised. She had nothing without her father’s blessing. Right now, she was able to survive on Benjamin’s generosity and kindness alone, and she hoped he didn’t feel taken advantage of. She hadn't lied to him about having money of her own, but she did know he'd probably assumed it, so was that a lie of omission?
“Just so you know, my brothers are mean when it comes to latching onto something important and poking at it. I couldn’t let them know how much you mean to me or they’d never let it be. I exaggerated things a bit. I’m real sorry if it hurt you.”
She squeezed him tight, feeling even guiltier that she had nothing to offer. She didn’t even know how to cook. Benjamin was an escape from an unbearable marriage—but she had fallen desperately in love with him. Anyone would have been better than what her father had arranged—but she’d gotten lucky, and he’d already stolen her heart. She hoped it was as worth it for him as it was for her.
She held him that much closer.
A thought pulled her away. “Hey, where am I sleeping tonight? I mean, I know we’re married, but . . .” She blushed, unable to go on. She couldn't come right out and tell him she didn't feel comfortable sharing his bed yet. It would be rude.
Benjamin chuckled. “I understand. It’s a little awkward still until we get to know each other better.” He bit lip, then his eyes lit up. �
��How about you take my bed tonight. Ida Mae can sleep at Ma and Pa’s house, and I’ll bunk with one of my brothers.”
She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but it was better than sleeping in the barn. “Are you sure? I don’t want to shoo you from your own bed.”
He hugged her again, putting his chin on the top of her head. It was actually rather comforting. “It’s no trouble at all. I promise.”
Chapter Twelve
The next morning Benjamin woke early, the loud roosters crowing to herald the day. He sat up and brushed the straw from his hair, then climbed from the barn loft down to the floor, brushing the rest of the clinging straw away. When he’d told Johanna she could use his bed the night before, it hadn’t occurred to him that his brothers wouldn’t have any room for him. At least the hayloft was fairly soft, if a bit itchy. He was definitely going to have to make a larger bed.
His clothes were all back home, and Johanna was there. He didn’t want her to feel bad for displacing him, so he decided to grab a quick breakfast from his parents' house, then get to work. He opened the door quietly, so as not to disturb anyone, took a few rolls from last night’s dinner, as well as filling his pockets with cherries, and went out to the fields to check on the wheat that was barely showing green above the dirt. He’d worked hard putting in that crop and was expecting a good harvest, if the locusts would stay gone this year. It had been a close thing not long before when the locust eggs had hatched in the spring. He’d been sure it would be a repeat of the previous year, but for once, nature worked with them and a late snowstorm had killed the squiggling things.
Thus far, the year hadn’t shown him anything more than the usual number of insects, and those he could deal with. Taking up his hoe, he went to work clearing out the weeds before they choked his young plants. It felt so good to be able to grip things again. His oldest brother, William, had looked at Benjamin’s hands and pronounced the bones whole, then rubbed in an ointment for pain and to speed healing. It had done miracles, and though he was still sore, it was tolerable.
He’d been at his work for less than an hour when a little old woman dressed all in purple came across the field, through his gate, her intention obviously to come to him. Benjamin stopped and leaned on his hoe, already wiping the sweat from his brow, and it wasn’t even noon.
When the woman was close enough to hail he called out. “Mornin’, Miss Ida Mae. How are things with my ma and pa? They taking good care of you?” He'd grown very fond of the old woman in their time together, and he wanted to make certain she was getting the very best of care. Of course, he knew his mother wouldn't be willing to live with herself if she showed anything less than the top level of hospitality.
She smiled. “Oh, yes. They are wonderfully kind people. I woke to bacon and eggs, with flapjacks and real maple syrup and home churned butter. Every bit as good as we’d have back home.” She put her hand to the side of her mouth and lowered her voice. “Don’t tell my son, but probably even better! I’d hire them!”
Benjamin laughed. “Well, thank you, Miss Ida Mae. I’m sure they’d be mighty flattered to hear it. Ma always has been a great cook.” He looked her over, certain she hadn't come all this way to talk about his mother’s cooking. “I’m sorry, was there something I could do for you, ma’am?” He knew if it had been an emergency, she'd have said something immediately.
Johanna’s grandmother smiled, though it seemed a bit brittle. It worried him. “Well, I came to talk to you about Johanna. I know it’s only been a couple of days since we left, but we don’t have much time here. I need to know what your intentions are. Do you take this marriage seriously? Or are you just giving her refuge until she has a time to find something she really wants?”
Benjamin fought a blush and failed. Her question both flustered and angered him. He felt the emotional heat rise up his neck and into his face. Was it really any of her business? “I’ve got good intentions, and I’m hoping very much that she’ll stay. I’ve got . . . feelings for her, like I never had for anyone else. Been doing what I can about it, but I think Johanna has it in her head that I’m just like all the other boys and only want her for the family money. It's not true. I really love her,” he admitted, the heat turning up a notch as he looked away. “She’s one of the sweetest, strongest, and most beautiful women I’ve ever known. Any man would consider himself lucky to marry her. Not sure how I got to be that man.” Benjamin wasn’t sure why this woman always made him so brutally honest, but what he said was truth, and he wouldn’t take it back.
When he looked up, he was surprised at the contemplative look on Miss Ida Mae’s face. She didn’t say anything for a long moment, then gave a nod as if something had been decided. “You’ll do. Yes. Definitely. I’m surprised to say it, but I think you’re actually worthy of her. She cares for you too. When she’s not talking about you, she’s thinking of you. I can see it in her eyes. The strangest thing.” The women tugged at her lip, then smiled at Benjamin. “Okay then! We know where you both stand. What are you going to do about it? You may be married, but you’ve known each other such a short time, I think you still need to woo her.”
Benjamin stood straight, resting his chin on his hoe. “I don’t rightly know how to do that,” he admitted. “This is a first for me too. She seems too good for me and I don’t know how I can ever convince her that I don’t want her money. I like being with her. I like . . .” He changed what he was going to say, remembering their many kisses over the week. “I just like her for her.” He couldn't mention her soft skin and sweet kisses to her grandmother. Even he knew better than that.
“And that’s the way it should be, young man.” Ida Mae looked stern, then a gleam of mischief crept into her eyes. “All right then!” She clapped her hands once. “We need a plan. What do you need from me to help you woo my granddaughter and convince her father that you truly love her?”
He wracked his brain, trying to think of something, but it was completely blank. He had no idea how to woo a woman, let alone impress her father who happened to be the wealthiest man in several counties. Maybe the whole territory. He looked at the old woman helplessly. Was she offering to give him ideas or just help him implement the ideas that he may get someday? He sure hoped he could get an idea.
Ida Mae laughed. “That’s okay. I’ll help. First thing is to spend as much time with her as possible. Have you talked to your family? Are they willing to help?” She chewed at her lip while pacing back and forth.
He shook his head. “No. My brothers gave me such a hard time I didn’t want to give them any extra ammunition to throw at me, and I especially didn’t want to hurt Johanna.” He would do anything to avoid hurting his sweet bride.
“Hmm. That could be a problem. If you’re going to spend time with Johanna, you’ve got to have the time to spend, which means you need help. You’re going to have to bring them into your confidence. Do you think their wives would help?”
Benjamin began to get some ideas and a smile crept across his face. “You know, they just might, and if you’re willing to come along, they’ll be even more willing to listen and take it seriously.” He put out his hand for the old woman. “Think you could do that with me?” He loved the idea of finding a co-conspirator in her grandmother.
The grin that was so much like Johanna’s flashed across her face again. Ida Mae placed her hand in his. “I’d be happy to help. Let’s go.”
After a long talk with Annabelle and Ruth, and a brief chat with his brothers under their wives' baleful eyes, they came to some agreements which the ladies, in particular were excited about.
He walked Miss Ida Mae back to his parents' house and thanked for her help and insight.
“Not a problem at all, my boy. You can do this. Remember to spend time with her, show her that you care for her and not her money. Do something nice for her.” The old woman gently slapped his arm, grinned and walked in the door.
He started thinking. Do something nice. What could he do? He’d already given up his bed,
and he wasn’t looking forward to another night in the hayloft. It would be easier to go make a hammock in the woods by the creek and sleep out there. At least then he could look at the stars.
He stopped and looked up, though the sun hadn’t quite reached its height. He’d gotten up so early, it felt like the day should almost be over, but it wasn’t even lunch time. A slow smile spread across his face. If he could make a hammock, or better yet, a nest, for himself, then why couldn’t he make it for two and pretty it up a bit? It wasn’t as if he and Johanna hadn’t slept next to each other before. Twice, if he counted right, and it had been completely innocent. If she trusted him enough for something to happen, then wonderful! But if not, at least he could hold her in his arms and they could look at the stars together before falling asleep.
With a happy whistle, he went about looking for materials to build this nest for the two of them, and hoped he could find enough sturdy fabric and lanterns.
Chapter Thirteen
Johanna had watched Benjamin make trips to the creek several times during the morning, his arms and horse laden with posts and blankets and lanterns. She had no idea what he was up to, but hoped she’d find out soon. She was very curious about his secret project.
In the meantime, Nancy had her busy helping Annabelle and Ruth prepare lunch for everyone. Evidently the four families ate together nearly every meal, usually at Ma and Pa’s house. Johanna found it a fascinating convention. At the hotel, people ate when they had a spare moment, with Sundays being the only time they sat together for dinner and it was a very formal and special occasion. The kids didn’t dare run around the table like Benjamin’s family. She found she liked the informality of meals here.
Johanna (Dakota Bound Book 1) Page 7
