A knock sounded at the door. The ladies looked at one another and one of the kids ran to answer it. They pulled it open, barely reaching the latch, then stood there looking up at someone just out of sight. “Hi. Uh, is my Aunt Johanna McDonough here?” asked a very familiar teenage voice. Johanna’s heart sank along with her head.
Ruth went to the door behind her child. “Perhaps. May I ask who’s calling on her?”
Johanna put down her potatoes and wiped her hands on her apron. She walked to the door and said, “Hello, Jesse.”
“Tell her it’s Jesse,” her nephew said at the same moment. They stood on each side of the door staring at each other. That he was here meant only one thing that was confirmed with his next words.
“Aunt Johanna, Grandfather sent me to bring you home. Your husband is waiting.” He met her eyes, then looked away. It was obvious he wasn’t any happier about this than she was.
Gasps sounded around the room, then whispers. Johanna closed her eyes and held her breath for a moment. The women could wait. They’d hear enough when she addressed Jesse anyway. “I appreciate you coming all this way, Jesse. I know it’s a long trek, but I won’t be returning with you. I can’t. You see . . . I already have a husband.” She said it, then waited for a reaction.
His eyes widened. “No. Really?” He actually smiled wide. “That’s wonderful, Aunt Jo! I never thought you’d find a guy after all the ones you turned away.”
She watched him, waiting for it to sink in. Finally, his smile faded and his eyes dulled, then became slightly fearful. She didn’t blame the last. Telling her father she was already wed was something she wouldn’t wish on anyone.
He sighed. “For real? You’re married?”
“Yes,” she answered simply. There was nothing more to say.
“To that gardener. The one Great-Grandmother picked for you.” It wasn’t a question.
Johanna nodded. She wished she had the words to give him courage when he went back to face her father. She knew he'd do it well, though.
“Well, I’m happy for you. He seems like a really nice man. Not like that Mr. Berkeley. But, telling Grandfather . . .” He couldn’t continue and just looked at her helplessly.
She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know, Jesse. Stay near the door when you tell him, no matter what he says, then run like crazy when he starts throwing things.”
Jesse nodded with wide eyes. Obviously he knew her father as well as she did. He gulped, then coughed. “Can I at least have a drink of water before I go back? I’m mighty thirsty, and it’s going to be several hours home.”
Johanna pulled him inside and put an arm around him. “Of course you can. You sit right there and rest for a moment and let me get you a drink." She turned and Annabelle already had it in her hands, meeting Johanna’s eyes with sympathy.
Johanna sat down next to him while he sipped, and Nancy brought another cup of water for Johanna. Lunch wasn’t ready yet, but Ruth made up a plate of what they had and put it in front of the boy. He devoured it as if he was starving, and Johanna wondered if her father had made him leave without breakfast. She wouldn’t put it past him, especially when Jesse was already in trouble with him. Within half an hour he was on his way again, walking slowly, then mounting the horse that was a little too big for him and galloping into the trees.
She couldn't believe her father had sent her nephew on a half day's ride to a place neither of them had ever been all alone. It was a new level of neglect even for him.
A couple of hours later, Johanna watched Benjamin drive the cattle into the paddock from her perch on the top of the wooden fence. She never tired of watching him. He was so graceful and strong, beauty and brawn together, and his heart was a fine match for his physique. It was such a rare combination and she was grateful for the chance that put him in the room when she needed a man there to save her.
Benjamin reached over and pulled the gate shut behind him, tipping his hat toward Johanna as he passed, a smirk on his face. She tried to look indignant and put her hands on her hips, forgetting for a moment that her balance was tenuous atop the fence. Gravity pulled, and in an instant she’d gone from dignified and content to an ignominious splat in the mud below her, screaming as she fell. She pushed herself up, the slimy muck dripping down her arms and off her nose. She rolled to the side and wiped at her eyes, but she didn’t dare open them until she had some water or a clean cloth. Without thinking, she yelled. “Benjamin! Benjamin!” Cattle bellowed around her and she heard hooves digging into the ground and thundering around her. She stilled, suddenly terrified in the realization she had caused a stampede.
And then Benjamin was there. She squealed again, when she was jerked from her feet and swung up to sit behind him on the large stallion. “What are you trying to do? Get yourself killed?” His voice was a braid of almost laughter, anger, and fear.
“No. I . . . I was just . . . Oh!” She wailed and buried her face into his back, not caring that it probably smeared mud all over his shirt. She was absolutely mortified that she’d made such a fool of herself and that he’d had to come to her rescue once again, this time quite literally. She couldn’t bear to look at him even when she could open her eyes. She didn’t want him to see her ever again, though logically she knew that was impossible.
The horse slowed, then stopped. Benjamin leaned forward and pulled at something. She could feel his muscles working through his shirt. Muscles she’d admired just moments ago. The horse moved forward, then Benjamin leaned over again, and Johanna heard a thunk of wood falling into place. She realized then he’d taken her through the gate, leaving the cattle in the paddock. “Hold on,” he said, then clicked his tongue, his horse leaping into a run, though Johanna had no idea where he was taking her.
It didn’t take long to get there. She smelled water, could hear the gurgle as it danced over rocks, and then the stallion slid down the slope and into the water with a splash. Johanna squealed, then was immediately embarrassed. She wasn’t so timid that a little water would actually scare her. The part that had her nerves rattled was having to trust someone she barely knew and being dragged to places she couldn’t see.
“Let go for a second,” Benjamin said. She released her grip from around his waist, then felt his warmth disappear as he slid off the side of the horse. “Turn toward my voice and hold out your arms,” he said, and again, she listened without hesitation. His hands gripped her forearms, then moved up to her waist. “Put your hands on my shoulders and slide toward me.”
Johanna’s heart pounded. She hated not being able to see, but until she got the mud out of her eyes, she didn’t have any choice. She gripped his shoulders, then slid forward off the stallion, the big horse moving away at the same time. She cried out, and then suddenly she was in his arms. She clung to him, as if he were the only thing keeping her from falling into the water, and of course, he was.
Benjamin chuckled and she slapped at his chest. “Don’t laugh at me! This is scary.” She couldn’t help the tear that leaked from beneath her muddy lashes, and he immediately sobered, guiding her into deeper water.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you, really.”
She gave a very unladylike snort.
The laughter returned to Benjamin’s voice, though he was gentleman enough not to let it out. “Okay. Maybe a little. I apologize.” They walked until she was waist-deep. “Do you want to clean yourself or have me do it for you?” He sounded part-hopeful and part-scared, which mirrored her feelings exactly. She wasn't ready to let him clean her, but oh, she liked the idea.
“I can do it. Just turn your back, would you?” She waited until she heard him wade away behind her, then pulled her dress and petticoats off over her head, leaving her exposed in bloomers and corset, but there was nothing she could do about it. She dunked her face in the water several times, rinsing the mud from her eyes and when finally she could open them, she glanced behind her to be sure Benjamin had his back to her, as she’d asked.
&nb
sp; She stood on one foot, reaching her hand under the water and removed her soggy shoe, throwing it to the back. She repeated the action with the other foot, and soon saw his boots land near hers, so she knew he'd done the same.
She got more of an eyeful than she’d bargained for. He too was undressed down to his pants, which hung low on his hips, his top bare as he tried to rub out the mud from his clothing. She turned back around quickly, her face flaming. It shouldn’t be. He was her husband. She had a right to look. She peeked behind her once more, admiring the view, then went to work cleaning her dress and trying to ignore the half-naked man behind her.
Knowing he was there distracted her from her task at hand. She wanted nothing more than to watch him in the water, or better yet, go help him get the mud from the side of his neck she could still see there. She wondered how he'd react if she walked up behind him and rubbed her hands over his bare shoulders. Shaking her head at her thoughts, she turned her attention to the task at hand.
Chapter Fourteen
Benjamin did as Johanna asked, keeping his back to her while she washed her dress, but it was very difficult. He wanted to be a gentleman, but she was also his wife, even if it was in name only. Benjamin wanted it to be more. The longer he spent in her company, the more certain he became that he wanted her to stay with him forever.
It hit him very hard in that moment, that he not only liked, respected, and loved her—he was in love with her. He wanted to spend eternity with her, and every moment apart was torture. He could hardly wait to show her the nest he’d created for them until he could make their bed frame, a task he'd already begun. His nerves were a jumble, hoping and praying she liked it as much as he did. He’d never spent so much time or energy on a woman before, but she was worth it.
Without thinking, he looked at her under his arm as he bent over to wash, and he froze. Johanna wore nothing but a corset and her bloomers and bent in the hip deep water scrubbing at her dress. Her arms were thin but strong, her shoulders and neck as curvaceous and long as he’d imagined, and her figure—Benjamin blushed and turned away. Her figure was more shapely than he would have thought, the corset outlining her tiny waist and the flare of her hips.
She was perfect.
It was very hard to concentrate on cleaning the mud from his own clothes knowing Johanna was behind him, his wife, was in an undressed state, and he could do nothing to touch her. Not until she said it was all right. He refused to push her. Refused to force her into something she wasn’t ready for and would make her hate instead of love him. It wasn’t worth it. He would wait. It might kill him, but he would do it.
But one more look wouldn’t hurt.
He looked under his arm once more to find her looking over her shoulder at him. Their eyes locked and she looked like she was either going to throw something at him or faint, alternating between a deep red blush and pale white. He walked toward her in case she collapsed. He didn’t want her to drown. At least that was the excuse he gave himself.
Instantly she turned furious, storming toward him as fast as she could in the water. “You! You! I asked you not to look, and what are you doing?” She splashed water toward him, her face angry.
He turned away, ducking, and laughed. “The same thing you were doing.” He winked at her, knowing it would further embarrass her, and he liked that. He liked that she was interested in his body. Very much.
Her face reddened once more, and she splashed him again, so he turned and scooped water her way. Back and forth they went, getting closer and closer, her anger finally turning to laughter. She must have realized he was right. He hadn’t done anything she hadn’t.
The atmosphere changed as quickly as dust changes to mud in a storm and suddenly their breathing hard had a lot more to do with their proximity and the state of their undress, than it did with all of the effort they’d just exerted.
They were inches apart and throwing water no longer had any affect. Their eyes met and suddenly he was very aware of how close she stood. Heart pounding, he reached up with two fingers and tipped her chin toward him, then slowly lowered his head until his lips met hers. It was a whisper of a touch that quickly turned into a torrent of emotion released only through their lips and how tightly they held each other. His tongue flickered along her lips and she gasped. She obviously hadn’t experienced that before. It seemed she decided she liked it, because she did the same to him in return, and before he knew it, but their ips and tongues danced together.
After far too long, she pushed slowly away from him. It was probably a good thing. If they let this go on any longer, it would go a lot further than he was ready to let it, married or not, and from the looks of things, Johanna felt the same way. He was disappointed, but also understanding. Instead of being angry, he grinned. “Come on. I’ve got something to show you. Just grab your things. No one will see us, I promise.”
She seemed leery and extremely uncomfortable, but she followed, hunched over and wincing with every branch and rock she stepped on. When he stopped, so did she, and he turned to watch her face. She finally looked up as he went from branch to branch lighting lanterns, watching her as much as he could. It was nearing dark and the lanterns were their own little stars, and in the midst was what he called a nest. It was off the ground, hanging with beams from the trees, but surrounded and padded by blankets, with one to cover.
Johanna didn’t seem to know what to say.
“Well?” he asked in a hopeful tone.
“It’s beautiful," she whispered. “What’s it for?”
He laughed. “It’s for us, silly. I don’t have time to make a larger bed yet, so I thought we could sleep here.” She stepped back, her face becoming guarded. “Nothing’s going to happen. It’s innocent, I promise. I thought we could lay together, cuddle up tight, and look at the stars. Great way to stay warm, and I can’t think of better company.”
Johanna grinned, seeming relieved. “Neither can I." She laid her clothing over several branches to dry. "But you’re going to have to sleep with me wet. I’m not taking off anything more than I have.”
He laughed again, then took her hand, and they climbed into the ‘nest’ together, cuddling up facing each other. He wasn't about to tell her that he was relieved she was leaving her clothes on. He wanted to keep respecting her wishes, and that would be challenging, to say the least, if she did otherwise.
He didn’t let go of her hand, but instead took her other one and looked down at her, his eyes barely visible in the darkness. He leaned down and gave her a brief, but gentle kiss, then put his arm around her. She slipped her arm around his waist, making him happier than he’d felt in quite some time and wanting so much for this to be right.
They stared at the night sky, the thick stream of stars so beautiful it made his heart ache. She startled when he spoke from the darkness, even in its softness. “You’re as beautiful as those stars, Johanna. You shine. I could look at you all day and all night, year after year, and never grow tired of what I see. Just like those.” His chin tipped toward the heavens. “Do you think . . .” He seemed nervous now. He swallowed and then continued. “I know we did this as a way to get you out of marrying that old coot, but . . .” He swallowed again. “Do you think this might actually work? You and me, I mean?” He closed his eyes, half-afraid, as he waited for her answer. She seemed to like him, but she'd never actually said she loved him. He wanted her to. Badly.
She swallowed as well, but her voice was still rough. “I really hope so. I’d really like to try.”
He expelled a breath he’d been holding, then squeezed her gently. “Yeah. Me too. I’d like that a heck of a lot.” He kissed the top of her head. He did that a lot, he realized. He hoped she didn’t mind. They looked at the sky a few moments longer, before he pulled at her. Johanna nestled her head into the crook of his shoulder and put her arm across his naked chest. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. He didn’t dare move, for fear she would let go, so he stared at the stars, and before he could think of anoth
er thing to say, they were both fast asleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Johanna woke slowly to Benjamin’s niece, Ada, shaking her shoulder. “Aunt Johanna! Aunt Johanna!” She rolled over, then cracked her eyes open. The girl had golden blonde hair that reminded Johanna of the sunlight they couldn't see through the trees.
She squinted, then answered, her voice still gravelly with sleep. “Ada, sweetie. The sun’s barely up. What do you need?” She had no desire to leave the cozy bed she shared with Benjamin.
“I know,” the girl said, sounding a little scared, which woke her up much faster than Ada’s shaking. “There are a whole bunch of men here to see you and Uncle Ben. Two of them seem really mad.”
She groaned and rolled onto her back knowing it could only be two people. “My father and Edmund Berkeley,” she mumbled. She dreaded the idea of seeing her father again, but she'd known it was coming. When Jesse had shown up the day before, it was clear to her.
“Yes! Those were the names. I forgot,” the thirteen year old sounded embarrassed.
“It’s okay, Ada. I expected this sooner or later. Tell them we’ll be there shortly, will you?” She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer for the outcome of the day.
Ada nodded, then took off at a run. Johanna’s heart was in her stomach. This was not the way she’d wanted to start her day. She rolled over to shake Benjamin awake to find his eyes already open and a crease between his brows. Before saying a word, she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. That was how she wanted to start her day.
He sighed. “Shall we then?”
“I don’t think we have a choice. Turn your back while I get dressed, will you?” She asked, desperately hoping her dress and petticoats were dry from yesterday’s dunking. It was bad enough she was parading around in just her corset and knickers in front of Benjamin. No one else would see her this way.
Johanna (Dakota Bound Book 1) Page 8
