by LM Terry
She smiles at me. “Someday I’ll teach you how to do this.” She puts her lipstick on and then smacks her lips together for a finishing touch. “I’ll have to beat the boys off you some day.”
“I don’t like boys.”
“You like that boy you hang out with all the time. What’s his name?”
“William.”
“You like William don’t you? He’s a cutie.” She pushes her mirror off to the side and studies my face.
“Yeah, I like him.”
“Well, maybe you should wear a little makeup for him.”
“I don’t think William likes makeup or girls. He likes cars,” I tell her scrunching up my nose.
She bops the end of my nose with her finger. “Okay, well if you change your mind you come find me and I’ll teach you all my beauty secrets.”
I smile and nod. Renee is super happy today. I like this Renee. A knock on the door interrupts our meal. “Answer that will you, sweetie? Tell Jimmy I’ll be out in a minute.” She hops up and rushes to the bathroom.
I don’t know who Jimmy is but whatever. When I open the door, Jimmy is leaning against the railing. He doesn’t move. He just looks me up and down in disgust. He looks past me and hollers inside, “Hey, you didn’t tell me you had a fucking kid.”
Placing my hands on my hips and standing as tall as I can I inform him that I’m not Renee’s kid. He smirks and pushes past me making himself at home on the sofa. He stretches his arms out along the back of the couch and crosses an ankle over a knee, like he owns the place.
We stare at each other for a few minutes and I know somewhere deep down in my gut that bad things don’t only happen in threes. I sigh, grab my sandwich off the table and head to my room. I hear Renee and Jimmy leave a few minutes later. I thought she was going to work but she must be going on a date. She does that sometimes. This feels different. She was too happy and he was too comfortable sitting on the sofa.
I pull my new sketch book out and get to work on my drawing for Big Dan. I draw for hours before Renee comes back, assumingly with Jimmy. She is giggling and he is grunting. Yuck with a side of puke. I dig around under my pillow and pull out my headphones, popping them into my ears.
The next day I wake up to Renee cooking breakfast.
What. In. The. Trap County. Is going on?
“Hey, sweetie, want some breakfast?” She places a giant stack of pancakes in the center of the table.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks,” I say, giving her the side eye as I pour myself a glass of milk.
We sit down at the table together. The toilet flushes and Jimmy comes strolling out of the bathroom. He pats me on top of my head as he walks past. I watch as he kisses Renee on the cheek and then sits down next to her. She is smiling like an idiot and pilling up a plate full of food that she slides in front of him. “Thank you, baby,” he purrs in her in ear, making her blush. They continue to talk to each other throughout breakfast like I’m not even there until I stand up to leave.
“You didn’t ask for permission to leave the table,” Jimmy interrupts their conversation to scold me.
I just stand there with my plate in hand staring at him like he has two heads. I look at Renee, but she avoids my gaze, instead looking down at her plate. “I’ve never needed permission before,” I state, unblinking.
“That was before I became your new daddy,” he tells me.
The good news is Renee now cooks our meals every day.
The bad news is I’m positive bad things don’t only come in threes.
Dirk
◆◆◆
“Yeah, man, everything’s quiet for now. Word on the street is the Desert Devil’s VP hitched up with this bitch in Trap County and he’s pushing their shit there. It’s junk.” I’m giving Bill his monthly run down. This shit is getting old, but the fucker is hopefully getting paroled soon. His hearing is in a month. We’ve had Raffe fucking a few of the board members so we’re fairly confident it will happen this time around.
“Yeah, that shit needs shut down. Trap is in our jurisdiction. The Desert Devils might need reminded of that. Isn’t your cousin’s shop set up in Trap?” Bill asks.
“Yep, Raffe’s been going to him once a week. Dans been doing a sick piece on his back. Maybe I’ll tag along next time and see if I can find anything out.” The chick sleeping next to me wakes up and grabs my dick. I shove her hand away, pushing her off my bed onto her ass. I motion with the snap of my fingers to get the fuck out of my room. I’m in the middle of business, she knows better.
“Eh, just have Raffe ask him about it. You need to be working on finding Jess.”
I roll my eyes and light up a cigarette as the bitch slams my bedroom door. That was the final strike, that will be the last time she gets my dick. “The fucking worker closed up shop on her coochie. No one’s getting in, not even Raffe. She told him Jess is set up good and she isn’t having a bunch of bikers ruining it for her.”
“That fucking bitch. You think she knows I’m Jesse’s dad and that’s why she won’t spill?”
“Don’t know, man. She says the girl has had enough shit for a lifetime and doesn’t need anything else bad happening to her. Not sure what that means, but I don’t know what else you want me to do, Bill.”
“I’ll be out soon enough and then I’ll find her.” He hesitates and sighs loudly over the phone. “Maybe the worker is right, and I should just leave her the fuck alone.”
“Every girl needs a father,” I tell him.
“Yeah, maybe. I’ll see where she’s at. If it’s better than with me, I’ll leave it be.”
“You want my honest opinion?”
“You’re my right-hand man, Dirk, of course I want your opinion.”
“You find her, and you never let her go.”
He grunts and hangs up the phone. Wish I could help a brother out but I’m not sure what we can do until he gets out and puts the squeeze on the worker himself.
Chapter Six
Jesse
Itap my fingers on the counter while Big Dan looks through my drawings. “These are good, Jess, but I only asked for one.”
“I know but once I started I couldn’t stop. It keeps me busy. You can have them all.”
He pops open his cash register and hands me a crisp hundred-dollar bill. “Don’t cheapen yourself, doll. You’re a good artist. I’ll buy these from you.”
“Are you going to tattoo them on someone?” I bounce on the stool excited that one, he likes my drawings and two, the thought of them being put on someone for the rest of their life is super cool.
“I’ll add them to my book. If someone picks one of yours I’ll make sure to take a picture and show you.”
I nod my head like crazy. “I want to learn how to tattoo.”
“You got to be eighteen to apprentice but if you want to come around and watch I won’t stop you. You just keep working on your art, okay?”
“I can do other stuff, like clean or whatever you need. I’m your girl,” I tell him with great enthusiasm. He just gave me another place to hang my hat and now that Jimmy is staying at Renee’s I plan on avoiding home like the plague.
“Let’s just play it by ear. Okay?”
“Deal.” I place my hand out to shake on it. He chuckles and engulfs my tiny hand in his big bear paw one.
Becoming friends with Big Dan is one of the best things to ever happen to me. This is where I feel the most at home. Here and with William.
I spend the next few weeks watching Big Dan work his magic with the tattoo gun. He is an amazing artist. He may be built like a tank, but he is as smooth as butter when it comes to his art.
I’m sitting up at the counter drawing when Raffe comes in for his weekly appointment with Dan. I like Raffe, he makes my heart flutter like there’s a little butterfly in it every time he comes in. He’s beautiful. I don’t know how to describe him. He’s a cross between a Disney movie and grunge film. He gives me a peck on the cheek as he passes by, causing me to almost fall off the stool.
Pretending to work on my drawing I watch him take off his shirt out the corner of my eye. I slide off the stool and grab a chair so I can get a closer look at Dan’s work. Really. I’m focused on the tattooing and not on the man. Honest.
“So, what’s new in the world of the Rebel Skulls?” Big Dan asks Raffe.
“Bill got paroled, should be out in a couple weeks.”
“Cool, cool, bet my cousin is happy.”
“Yeah, we all are. Dirk’s been busting his ass keeping everything together for the last fourteen years. We’re having a big bash. You should come.”
“Shoot me the date and time and I’ll be there.” Big Dan snaps his gloves on and gets to work. I watch as he glides over Raffe’s back leaving a trail of ink as he goes. It’s fascinating to watch.
“Only took me fucking two female board members and one dude to get it done.”
Big Dan looks up at me, meeting my eyes. “Mouth, Raffe.”
“Oh, shit yeah. I forgot the kid was here. Sorry.” He turns and flashes me a brilliant smile.
“I know what fucking is. I’m not a flower. I won’t wilt at the sound of a few curse words, Dan.” I tell him, scowling. He tips his head back and laughs.
He goes back to work and Raffe continues running his mouth. “Hey, Dirk asked me to see if you’ve heard anything about Jimmy shacking up here in Trap. Guess he’s selling some bad shit. We can’t have that.”
My ears prick up. Jimmy? Like Renee’s Jimmy? Asshole Jimmy who thinks he’s my new daddy and tells me when to go to bed Jimmy? I want to ask, but I keep my mouth shut. I’ve learned to be a listener, an observer.
“Haven’t heard,” Big Dan says as he pauses to wipe the excess ink off Raffe’s back.
“Keep your ears open, yeah?”
“Sure thing, man.”
I sit chewing on my nail as I ponder over what Raffe said about Jimmy selling shit. What kind of shit is he selling? When he moved in all he had was his clothes, a guitar, and a box of who knows what.
When Dan is finished with Raffe I tell Dan I’ll see him the next day and follow Raffe outside. He throws his leg over his bike and then notices I’m hovering nearby. “What’s up, kid?”
“I know a Jimmy. Maybe it’s the same one you were talking to Big Dan about,” I tell him shyly.
“You do? Does he wear a Desert Devils jacket?” he asks.
I shake my head yes. He narrows his eyes at me as he lights up a cigarette.
“Well, Jess, my advice is to stay away from him. Okay?” He blows smoke out of his mouth and points a finger at me.
“Um, he lives with me so yeah, that will be hard to do.”
His eyebrows shoot up and I see a look of concern flash over his face. “Really?” He tilts his head and studies me a little closer.
“Yeah, my aunt fucks him,” I say, trying to sound as bad ass as he looks sitting on his bike.
He laughs and all his dazzling teeth sparkle white in the bright desert sun.
“Is there something you want to know about him? I mean I could maybe find out what you’re wanting to know.”
“Naw, honey. You just try to stay clear of him. He’s a bad dude.” He starts his bike, the rumble waking up every happy cell in my body.
I watch as he heads down the road then I turn and slowly walk towards William’s house. I know Jimmy is a bad dude. I’ve known he was a bad egg since seeing him on Renee’s porch a few weeks ago. When I get to William’s he is in the garage tinkering with Sylvia.
He looks up and smiles at me. “She’s going to be ready for the first day of school,” he says, tapping a wrench on his chin, leaving a streak of grease behind. I laugh and walk over running my thumb over his chin to wipe it away. He stares down at me.
“Good, I can’t wait to get back to school.”
His head is still tilted down, his gaze boring into me. “Is Jimmy bothering you?” he asks, a crease forming between his eyebrows. He’s searching deep in my head for any secrets I might be keeping from him.
“Naw, just being his normal asshole, I’m the boss of this trailer, self. It’s cool. Don’t worry about me William.” I turn away from him and run my hand down Sylvia. She’s a bad looking rat rod.
We make plans to hang out over the weekend and I head home. When I get there, I’m greeted to at least twenty bikes parked around the trailer and men hanging out, drinking beer everywhere. Renee is getting in her car, headed to work. “I saved you some supper,” she hollers and then shuts her door and backs out of the driveway. I look around unsure of what to do. I push past all the bikers and head inside. No one is in the trailer so there’s that. I reach out to grab the plate of food Renee left on the table for me, but Jimmy reaches around and latches onto my wrist before I do.
“Where the fuck have you been?” he asks.
“Hanging with my friends. Looks like you’ve been doing the same,” I taunt. I know it’s stupid, but I hate him so much. He’s not my dad and I don’t like that he acts like he is.
He squeezes my wrist painfully, making me wince despite my best effort to not show him how much it hurts. “You need to have your ass home by eight, every night.”
I scoff but he tightens his grip even tighter. “Fine. You’re hurting me.” I try to pull my hand away but it’s no use, it only makes it hurt worse, so I try my best to relax in his hold. It’s then I notice his pupils are fucking blown out. You could drive one of those small foreign cars right through them.
He lets go and takes my plate from me, walking over and dumping it in the trash. “Good girls who get their ass home get supper. Bad girls get sent to bed.” He points to my room. I stomp off and am about to slam the door, but he follows and rips it out of my hands. I start to back up. He matches me step for step, backing me into the wall.
My heart is going to beat right out of my chest. I stare at a stain on his shirt as vodka breath rains down between us. “Maybe you need a good spanking,” he says in a voice I’ve only heard him use with Renee.
I don’t say anything. Statue. I am a statue. He cannot hurt me. He cannot hurt me.
He laughs and backs away keeping his eyes trained on me. “Someday, little girl. Someday.” And then he turns and closes my door behind him. I slump to the floor wishing my bedroom door locked.
That night I lay in bed listening to the music and laughter coming from outside. I decide right then and there that I’m going to listen to everything that comes out of Jimmy’s mouth and I’m going to report it all to Raffe. He doesn’t like Jimmy. I don’t like Jimmy. Maybe the group Raffe belongs to can get rid of him. If not I’ll have to find a way to do it myself.
A few weeks later I go to the hardware store to buy a lock for my door. The only problem is I need a drill to install it and Aunt Renee doesn’t have anything like that. I would buy one, but man are they expensive. I could get one from William but then he would ask too many questions.
The door dings as I walk into the tattoo shop. A scent lingers in the air. Something that smells awfully familiar. I can’t quite place it. Big Dan is wiping down his chair. He looks up at me. “You just missed my cousin,” he tells me.
“Bummer. Is he as pretty as Raffe?” I tease.
He laughs. “No, you’d probably run out of the room crying if you saw him,” he dishes back.
I roll my eyes. “Whatever, Big Dan. Nothing scares this girl.”
“Everyone’s scared of something, doll.” He finishes cleaning up while I stand by the door nervously. I hate asking for favors and I need a favor from Big Dan.
“I’m getting ready to head out. Going to see an old friend of mine who just got out of prison,” he says, shutting the back lights off.
“Sounds fun. Hey, do you happen to have a drill, like you know so I can install a lock like this?” I point to the chain lock on his front door.
He stares at me for a long time. “What are you locking?”
“Oh, Aunt Renee’s lock is broke on her front door so I thought I would help her out and put a new
one on. To be safe you know?” I look at the floor as I say this.
He goes to the back and then comes out with a drill in a bright orange case. Before he hands it to me he tips my chin so he can see my eyes. “If you ever need anything you can come to me. You know that right?”
I nod and blink quickly. Something about the way Big Dan said that makes me get a funny feeling in my chest. Just like it does when William talks to me. He hands me the drill.
Setting it on the floor, I wrap my arms around him and give him a quick hug before picking it back up and running out the door.
Chapter Seven
Jesse ~ Sixteen years old
◆◆◆
"Practice on the grapefruit and then maybe, a big maybe, I’ll let you try your stuff out on me,” Big Dan says as he tosses a grapefruit to me. I catch it in one hand and smirk.
“Don’t trust me. I thought we were friends,” I pout.
“We are. I trust your art. I just want to see how bad you mutilate the fruit with the needle first.” He laughs.
I get to work on the fruit. He hovers over me and nudges my hand when he thinks I’m going a little too deep. “Pretty good for your first time. Practice a few weeks and then we will go from there. I can’t let you do any work on the customers, but I might…might…let you do a small piece on me.”
Jumping up from my chair I give him a big hug and then head out to meet William. We are supposed to take the rod out to get ice cream.
When I get to the corner near William’s house I see him standing on the porch with someone. I slow my steps to watch as he smiles then leans down and kisses the person. A girl. He just kissed a girl. A girl who is not me. I stop dead in my tracks. My heart sinks like the titanic. The iceberg skates along my body. The sound of impending doom clear as day in my ears.
The girl shifts and I see it’s Penny Larson. Penny just kissed William. My William.
