by LM Terry
“Yeah, it’s been a long day,” I tell him. He nods in understanding and turns for the stairs. Katie and I follow. When I pass Dirk and Raffe I mouth a silent thank you. Both men nod.
Bill leads us up the stairs and to a room at the end of the hall. This place looks more like a hotel than a warehouse. He opens the door. The space is warm and cozy.
“I’ve saved this room for you for years. It’s kind of surreal you’re finally here,” he says, walking over and pulling the curtains back. “I always thought you might like a room with a view of the lake. Maybe tomorrow we can go fishing or something?”
Katie lets go of me and hesitantly makes her way to the window. My dad stands perfectly still as she approaches him. I see a smile form on her face through the reflection in the glass. “Pretty isn’t it?” my dad says.
He points to something outside. “See that wooden dock over there?” he asks.
She nods.
“That’s my favorite fishing spot. I could sit there all day. Have you fished before?”
Katie looks up at him. “No, but it sounds fun,” she whispers.
He smiles kindly. “Well, why don’t you and Jesse get some sleep and then tomorrow after breakfast we will head down there.”
She nods her eyes going back to the lake. A look of longing on her face.
My dad comes to stand by me. He points to a door. “There’s a bathroom right there. I had one of the women pick up a few things I thought you both might need, she left it all in there. I’ll leave you two to get settled. My room is right next door if you need anything.”
“Dan is on his way. He’s bringing my bag,” I say, biting my bottom lip nervously.
“I’ll have him bring it up when he comes.” He opens the door to leave.
“That’s okay. I’ll come find you after I get her settled.”
His eyes go to Katie and then settle back on me. “I’ll be right next door, Jesse.”
I drop my head and nod. The door closes quietly behind him.
Once my dad leaves Katie goes back to her chatty self. “I can’t wait to go fishing tomorrow,” she says to the glass. I dump the trash bag out on the bed to find something she can change into for bed. She comes and sits down on the edge with me.
“I grabbed a few things out of your bedroom. If you need anything else maybe we can go shopping tomorrow.” I watch her out the corner of my eye for any signs of distress as I sort through her things.
She latches onto the teddy bear and hugs it to her chest. “You brought Cricket,” she says.
“Is that his name?”
“Yeah, I named him Cricket because he makes me feel the way the crickets do. I like the sound they make at night.”
My throat tightens. “I think I know what you mean. I’ve always liked the way trees sound in the wind. They make me feel warm right here.” I press my hand against my chest.
She nods and buries her face into the teddy bear.
I find a t-shirt and a pair of shorts that look soft. “Why don’t you take a bath and then I’ll tuck you in for the night.”
“Are you going to sleep with me?” Her eyes roam up the bed.
“If that’s okay with you. If not I’ll sleep on the floor and you can have the bed.”
She shakes her head no. “I want to sleep here with you,” she pats the bed.
I turn a few lights on in the room as dusk turns to dark over the lake. I pull the curtains closed after one yearning look from myself then we head to the bathroom. Inside we find a large clawfoot tub. Katie gets in and lays down giggling. “It’s so big” She stretches her arms over her head to show me just how big it is. I laugh with her, happy that she is happy.
On the counter are bags and bags of stuff. I find a big pink bottle of bubbles. “You want a bubble bath?” I ask.
Her head bops up from inside the tub. “Yes!” She scrambles out and starts stripping out of her dirty clothes.
I busy myself filling the tub as she climbs in. She scoops a big handful of the bubbles that are piling up around her. She blows on them sending them into the air. I leave her to play in the tub while I finish unpacking the rest of the supplies. Everything a girl or woman might need.
Once Katie becomes wrinkled like a prune I help her wash her hair and then get her dried off and into her clean clothes. “Come brush your teeth,” I tell her.
She rubs her finger over the bright pink toothbrush on the counter, suddenly becoming quiet.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“Nothing,” she says, picking up the toothbrush and sticking it in her mouth.
“You know you can tell me anything?”
She nods bubbles dripping down her chin. I wipe off her mouth after she spits in the sink. I grab a brush and we head out to sit on the bed. As I’m running it through her curly brown hair someone knocks on the door. She jumps a little and slides behind me. I pat her leg to let her know she is safe. I won’t let anyone hurt her.
“Come in,” I holler.
Raffe opens the door but doesn’t cross the threshold. He is holding a book with a plate of cookies resting on the cover. “Thought you could use a little bedtime story and cookies,” he says, winking at me.
The butterflies I’ve always felt around him pound at my rib cage. “Awe look Katie. Cookies.”
She peeks around my torso narrowing her eyes at him. He holds the plate out. “They’re chocolate chip,” he encourages.
She slides off the bed and takes the plate and book quickly returning to me. She sets them on the bedside table and takes her position behind me.
“Goodnight, Katie,” he tells her.
She waves but doesn’t look at him.
“Good night, Jesse.” His fingers tap over his heart twice and then he pulls the door closed.
Two minutes later another knock sounds at the door. “Come in,” I mumble with a mouth full of cookie.
Dirk pushes the door open. He leans against the door frame with two glasses of milk in one of his big hands. “Raffe is a dumbass. He forgot the milk.”
I tip my head in warning and point to Katie. “Language, Dirk.”
He smirks and Katie giggles. “You coming to get this milk or not?”
“Why don’t you bring it in? We don’t bite,” I tease.
“Bill has forbidden anyone from entering the princess’s cabin,” he says lazily.
Katie giggles again. I turn and look at her. She peeks at Dirk from behind me, a clear interest on her face. She doesn’t look scared of him at all. Which surprises me because he is a scary looking guy. They all are, but especially Dirk.
He winks at her and then his attention goes back to me. He holds the glasses out to me. I leave Katie on the bed to retrieve the drinks. When I try to pull them from his hand he pulls back, tugging me closer to him. “We need to talk, soon,” he says in a serious tone.
“Okay,” I sigh, not taking my eyes off the milk in his hand.
He tips my chin. “I mean it.”
I nod. “Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow. Find me after breakfast.” He lets go of the milk and walks away.
I hand Katie a glass as I sip on the other one. Katie is studying my face. “What?” I ask.
“You’re so lucky. You have a daddy who lives in a castle and he protects you by not letting anyone come into your room. And, you have two boyfriends.”
I spit milk out of my mouth. Quickly I grab a towel and pat myself dry. “Katie. I don’t have any boyfriends.”
She giggles and slides under the covers. “I like the one with the tattoos best but the other one is really pretty.”
“Katie, they are not my boyfriends.”
I shut the light off and slide in next to her. She snuggles into my side like a little kitten. Sleepily, she murmurs, “Two boyfriends are better than one.”
She falls asleep three seconds later. My fingers run through her curly hair. I have to protect her. She reminds me so much of myself. I don’t want her to have to fight for everything by hers
elf. I want to save her from all the ugly in the world. Katie can’t get hurt again.
I run different scenarios through my head of how to help Katie. Only one ensures her safety. Killing the bastard who hurt her. One thing worries me though. After I kill him who will try to hurt her next? I couldn’t keep myself safe. I can barely keep my own head above water. How am I going to keep us both floating safely? Eventually I doze off to the sweet scent of Katie’s strawberry shampoo tickling my nose.
Chapter Twenty-One
Bill
◆◆◆
When I was in prison I would wake up sweating, shaking, terrified for my baby girl. I was helpless. All I could do was hope that someone was taking care of her. It was fine the first ten years until Tammy’s parents died. I’m fairly sure I know who killed them. I haven’t voiced my fears out loud. Their deaths were listed as accidental. Supposedly there was a gas leak.
Jesse was the one who found them. She came home from school to find them dead in their recliners, so I was told. I frantically tried to get her into a home of someone in the club, but no one listens when you are a prisoner. After that it was hard to get any information on her.
Jesse’s grandfather used to send me one letter a month. It simply outlined her growth, her accomplishments in school, when she learned to ride her bike, things like that. He also sent a photo. I lived for those letters.
Without the letters I went crazy with worry. Who had my baby? Did they read to her? Did she have food? Clothes? Love…
Years I’ve dreamt of this. Having her home. When she didn’t come find me I checked on her. She was curled up sleeping with Katie. She had her arm around the little girl, protecting her in their slumber. I’m not sure what has happened or who the girl is to her but whatever is going on I can tell it’s serious. So serious she came to me.
I haven’t been her favorite person lately.
When Dirk called me and told me she wanted to talk to me my heart burst. When she asked to come here it burst again. And now she’s here. For the first time in seventeen years I feel whole.
Dan, Raffe, Dirk and I are all sitting here in silence drinking from the top shelf. We started as a celebration of Jesse finally finding her way home. After a few drinks and discussion of what led to her being here we have settled into a tense silence. She didn’t come here on happy terms. She came because she is frightened. For Katie? For herself? We don’t really know. Seems Jesse is a bit of a mystery. She has friends but no one seems to really know her beyond their own relationship with her.
Dan and she are close. I see it but even he knows little about the Jesse outside the tattoo shop. “Another bottle, boys?”
They all nod. I get up and head over to the open bar but stop as I pass the entrance to the hallway. Jesse is standing at the end of it watching me. I turn to go to her but stop dead in my tracks as she runs to me. She throws herself at me. I open my arms to catch her, taking a step back to steady myself as she barrels into me.
An anguished cry escapes her. Her face buries in my neck, my beard shielding her from the world. “Hey, it’s okay, baby girl. I got you,” I whisper into her hair.
My baby is in my arms. Oh, god how I’ve waited for this moment. She’s so small, so fragile. She smells like heaven. I never want to let her go. Never. The guys quietly sneak out of the room to give us privacy. Dan gives us one last glance. He offers me a look of encouragement before turning away.
We embrace each other for a long time before she gently pulls away. Her eyes say everything. She has forgiven me. I hope she sees the genuine regret in mine. We stare at each other for a long time, each of us really taking a good look at the other for the first time since our initial meeting.
“Do you want to talk?” I ask hesitantly, hoping that speaking out loud doesn’t break the reunion that seems to be going better than any other I’ve tried.
“Sure,” she says quietly, walking over and sitting down on the couch.
“Do you want something to drink?”
“Water is fine, thank you.”
I grab a bottle of water for each of us and sit down beside her. She pulls her legs up and turns to face me. “Thank you for letting me bring Katie here.”
“This is your home. You can bring anyone you like here,” I tell her as I twist the cap off one of the waters and hand it to her.
She takes a sip and then drops her head. “I’ve made such a mess of my life,” she says into the bottle.
“Jesse, whatever is wrong please let me help.”
“A friend of mine found a picture of Katie. Someone dropped it.” She worries at her bottom lip before continuing. “Her mom is an addict.”
My heart beats wildly in my chest. Jesse’s mom was an addict too.
She reaches into the back pocket of her jeans and pulls out a photo. “This…this is hard to look at, but I can’t say it out loud,” she starts to cry again, the photo shaking in her trembling fingers.
Slowly I reach for it. Jesse reluctantly lets go when I give it a gentle tug. One look and I see red. I turn it over and set it on the coffee table.
“I couldn’t leave her there, Dad.”
Dad.
She called me dad.
“And, I can’t call CPS. She would end up…” Jesse stops talking and scoots away from me a few feet.
“Like you,” I finish for her.
She nods. I know she isn’t saying this to hurt me. She’s saying it because it’s the truth. CPS did not do right by her. She doesn’t want Katie to experience what she did.
“Does her mother know where she is?” I ask calmly.
“She knows she’s with me. I told her she had three days to get clean. You should have seen it, dad. It was awful.”
I scoot next to her and she doesn’t move away. “We will figure this out, together. Okay? We won’t let anyone hurt her anymore.”
“How can we do that? How can I keep her safe? I can’t even…” She turns away from me.
“Jesse, please talk to me. I know someone hurt you too. Please, trust me.”
Her wall comes up. “We just need to stay for a few days until I figure things out.”
I lean back against the couch. She’s shutting me out again. “I’d do anything for you.”
She quickly stands. “Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning.” Jesse rushes out of the room before I can respond.
I rub at my eyes.
Please, let me in, Jesse. Please.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dirk
◆◆◆
Ifound Bill passed out on the couch this morning. I also found a disturbing photo of Katie on the coffee table. That explains why Jesse brought her here. My tongue snakes out to flick the ring in my lip. I can taste death in the air. Whoever took the photo is a dead man walking.
Jesse’s been avoiding me like the plague. She can’t run forever though. Bill took the girls down to the lake after breakfast. Her eyes flitted to mine before they walked out. She can run all she likes. What’s going to happen is going to happen. She can’t stop it. Raffe can’t stop it. Not even Bill can stop it.
I’m a patient man but I’m also persistent. Jesse will show me her demons. How do I know this? Well I’ll tell you. I’m an exorcist. Ask Raffe. He’ll fill you in. I cracked him clean open and sucked the poison straight out of him.
I can do in a week what would take a therapist years to do.
Is it painful you ask?
Yes.
Very.
No one gets through life without pain.
I watch them out the window. Bill is helping Katie toss her line out. Jesse is leaning against a pole on the dock staring into the dark forest. The guys are all talking over each other behind me. Bill left instructions before he left. Find out who Katie’s mom is and who sells to her.
“Why don’t we just have Raffe go over there and fuck her. It would save us a lot of time. Thirty minutes with him and she’ll spill everything Bill wants to know.”
“Yeah, I can do that,”
Raffe says on a long drawn out sigh.
“He doesn’t do that shit anymore.”
The room goes silent. I turn to find them all staring at me, Raffe included.
“It’s fine, Dirk. I got this. No big deal,” he says, narrowing his eyes in question.
“I. Said. No.”
“Like, never? Or, just with this job?” Jared, asks.
My head slowly turns to him. “Jared. Your dick is up next. Go find out what Bill wants to know.”
Jared nods quickly and rises from his chair. Before he leaves I answer his question. “Raffe keeps it in his pants from now on. No more jobs. Ever.”
Everyone nods, getting out of the room as swiftly as they can. I guess they can sense my foul mood.
Raffe stays in his chair. When everyone is gone he turns on me. “What the fuck, man?”
“Is it really that hard to understand. You will no longer be doing jobs that involve your penis. Do you need me to spell it out for you?” I blow smoke towards him.
“Why?”
“How long are you going to let people use your dick?”
“Club business is different,” he runs his fingers through his hair, leaning back in his chair.
“Is it?”
He doesn’t answer.
“You want a chance with, her? You gotta be clean. No other way.”
“I thought…you said you wanted her and now you’re trying to help me? How does that work?”
“Are we in competition?”
He stares at me.
“You know what I’m going to do to her. She is going to need both of us. In the end she is probably going to hate me. That leaves you.”
“I still wanted you after what you did to me,” he says, his eyes flitting over my face. He still wants me.
“We’ll see,” I say leaving him to his thoughts. I decide to head down to the lake.
Jesse blinks up at me as I tower over her. “Got a minute?” I ask.
She looks nervously down the dock towards Bill and Katie. “Um, I’m sure they are about ready to go in. Can’t it wait?”
I point to the forest and then walk into the trees. My confidence doesn’t allow me to look back to see if she is following.
