Sugar and Skulls: Rebel Skulls MC Book One

by LM Terry

  I glance over my shoulder. The only mood rings I need are starring back at me, encouraging me to be strong. To protect what is mine.

  I turn back to Crow. Carefully I set the ring on his leg. He stares at it, recognition crossing his face.

  “When you see her in hell, let her know I got all my best qualities from Bill. Tell her to be prepared cause when I get there I’m going to rule that place.” I laugh, backing out of the trailer. When I get to Dirk he hands me his lit cigarette. I take a drag blowing it out as Dirk steps towards the door of the car.

  “Wait. Wait. Let’s talk,” Crow pleads, rolling his legs under him so he can crawl to the exit. “I’ll leave town. I’ll leave the state. Hell, I’ll even leave the country.”

  “Sorry, Crow. I learned a long time ago I have to protect what’s mine.” I take one finally drag before flicking the cigarette in the car. Flames immediately erupt, matching the ones I painted on the walls and ceiling of the car. “Till next time.” I give him the one finger salute as Dirk slides the door shut, locking it.

  We both back away.

  Eventually, Crow’s screams fade into the night.

  “Let’s go,” Dirk says pulling me away.

  “Wait, I want to burn the other one too.”

  He stares at me for a moment. When I offer him a small smile he nods, he dumps the last of the gasoline in my car of dreams. I don’t need this one anymore. My dreams have come true. I have a family. I have my dad. I light a smoke and toss it in.

  “Ready?” he asks as it goes up in flames.

  “No, not really.”

  He takes my hand in his, pulling me away from the burning cars. When we get to Sylvia I glance around looking for his bike. He reads my mind. “My sister dropped us off. She went back to sit with Raffe till we get there.”

  Once we get going down the road I roll my head against the seat to stare out the window. My eyes dance over the stars in the inky sky. “I don’t think I’m strong enough for what’s next.”

  He doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “You killed every one of your rapists in less than 24 hours, Jesse. I think your stronger than you think.”

  “I didn’t want them to hurt anyone else in my family,” I whisper.

  Dirk reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers. I turn to face him. A passing car illuminates his skeleton face, making my stomach flip. He did it for me. It’s his way of letting me know he understands me…and her.

  “This is what we are going to do. When we are with Raffe we are strong.” He squeezes my fingers. “When we are alone,” he raises our hands, motioning between the two of us, “that is when we express our fear. Never with him. Okay?”

  I nod, choking back my tears.

  “And, dad?”

  He sighs. “He’s upset with me, Jesse. I’m not going to lie. But, he isn’t going to take that out on you. He’s worked too hard to get you back to let anything come between the two of you. Don’t worry about Bill and me. I’m a big boy, Jesse, I can handle it.”

  “I can’t lose you, Dirk. I can’t lose any of you.”

  “You won’t.”

  Funny thing is, I believe him.

  Good news, I put my nightmares to rest. Crow cannot hurt me or my family any longer.

  Bad news, I worry the damage he already inflicted will be too great to overcome.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Jesse

  ◆◆◆

  Dirk’s sister lets us in a back door of the hospital. They kept everyone here so the police couldn’t pin any of the Desert Devil deaths on any Rebel Skull. Not that the police give a shit. I’m sure they’ll be happy they won’t have to deal with them any longer. Trap will be a better place now that they are gone.

  Rachel tells us she is going back to her hotel to shower and get some sleep. When Dirk opens the door to Raffe’s room my breath catches in my throat. My hand flies to my mouth. Oh god. I rush to his side. He’s so pale and there are so many tubes coming from everywhere. My eyes run over all the instruments surrounding his bed.

  Dirk pulls me away from the bed and pushes me into a chair. My eyes don’t leave Raffe’s lifeless face. I barely notice the sound of running water before Dirk is kneeling down in front of me. A cool washcloth to my cheek draws my eyes away from Raffe.

  “We need to get cleaned up.” He offers me a small smile as he wipes paint off of my face. I focus on the calm blue of his eyes.

  “Who did you guys kill now?” a faint voice croaks from the bed.

  Both Dirk and I turn our heads towards Raffe at the same time. I push Dirk back and quickly move to Raffe’s side. I sit down carefully on the side of his bed. He reaches up with a shaky hand and draws his fingers down the paint on my face, brushing my eyes closed as he does.

  I keep them closed. Dirk moves to our side and continues his mission to scrub the paint away. None of us say anything. When he finishes I slowly open my eyes to find the two of them starring at each other.

  Raffe drags his eyes back to me as Dirk moves to the sink to wash his own face. “Did you get him?”

  I give him a jerky nod, trying to prevent tears from slipping down my cheeks. “How are you feeling?” I whisper.

  “Never better.” His panty melting smile appears over his beautiful face.

  Leaning over I place a gentle kiss on his lips. When I pull back Dirk takes a seat on the opposite side of the bed. We give each other a quick look before Dirk delivers the devastating news to his best friend.

  Raffe’s eyes bounce between the two of us. He swallows hard as he listens. “You mean I might never ride again?”

  My eyes drop to the white blanket covering his body.

  “No, you dumb ass. I’m telling you what the fucking doctors told me. Now, listen to what I’m telling you.” Dirk chucks me under my chin, insisting I look at him too. When I do he returns his mood ring eyes back to Raffe. “You will walk again. You will fucking ride again. Don’t listen to these pricks. It will happen because I’m going to make it happen.”

  Raffe blows out a long breath. “Dirk, I don’t know if anyone has ever told you but you’re not a fucking god.”

  Dirk stands up. “I’m as close as you’re ever going to get to one.” He turns and walks out of the room leaving Raffe and I alone.

  I start to open my mouth but Raffe raises his hand. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Jesse.”

  My mouth snaps shut. That is exactly what I was going to do. This is all my fault.

  “I’m tired, Jesse. I…I just need to sleep.”

  I nod, sucking back my emotions. “Yeah, of course. We will be right outside.”

  He turns his head away and closes his eyes. Before I close the door I take one last look. His eyes are open again, locked on the ceiling. My heart cracks right down the middle for my friend. This is so unfair. Raffe is the best of the best. He didn’t deserve this.

  I make my way to the waiting room to find Dirk. My dad is sitting in the middle of the room alone. He glances up when I step inside.

  “He’s walking everyone out. He told them to go home and get some sleep.”

  My eyes dart around the empty room. “You should get some sleep too,” I tell him quietly.

  He watches as I pause by a magazine rack, mindlessly running my hand over each copy, not really seeing what I’m looking at.

  “Come here, Jesse,” he says sternly.

  Reluctantly I plop down in the chair beside him. He lets his eyes roam over me, sighing loudly. “You are so damn stubborn.”

  “Yeah, well, I hear it’s a trait I inherited from my dad.” I shrug my shoulders and turn my face away from him to stare at the blank wall across from us.

  “Did you get them all?”

  “Yeah.”

  He shifts towards me and leans forward forcing me to look at him. “Don’t pull away from me.”

  “I’m not.”

  “How long have you and Dirk…” his words trail off.

  I blow out a breath. “I can’t do this now.”


  “Jesse, I need to know. I need to know.” He shakes his head. “It’s killing me.”

  My dad looks so tired. He’s as much a victim as I have been.

  “Since the day he found me.”

  His eyes bounce over my face. “Jesse.”

  I hold up my hand. “I’ve loved Dirk since I met him. You want the truth I’m giving it to you.”

  He leans back in his chair, letting me finish.

  “Nothing happened until I turned eighteen, if that makes you feel better.”

  He winces. “It’s not love. It’s infatuation and he should have known better.”

  “You’re wrong. It’s love. You may not understand it, but I do. He does.”

  “He was supposed to protect you, not take advantage of you, Jesse.”

  “Do you know how scared I was when my grandparents died? Do you know how scared I was when I was being molested by a teenage boy with nowhere to run? I had no one.”

  He runs his hand down his face, shaking his head.

  “Dirk materialized out of thin fucking air that day. I remember how relieved I felt that he was there.”

  I pull my feet up on the chair and hug my legs as my mind conjures up my ten-year-old self.

  “He was there when I needed someone and he stayed my someone, dad. Every time I found myself scared, I thought of him. I asked myself, what would he do? What would he want me to do?”

  He makes a pained sound from somewhere deep in his chest.

  “When we met for the second time it was an instant spark. I’m not going to lie, it spread like a wildfire, but Dirk never let it get out of control. No matter how much I begged he didn’t budge. He didn’t take advantage of me.” I turn to face him. “I know how it must look.”

  I drop my head to my knees. Exhaustion of the last eight years finally catching up to me.

  His warm hand rests on my head. “Okay, baby girl. Okay.”

  Tears buried for years burst forth. He wraps his arms around me, holding me tight. He whispers over my head. “I’ll never know the girl you could have been. Crow stole that from me…from you. But, I want you to know how proud I am of the woman you are. You are so strong, Jesse. So strong.” His voice catches, his grief intermingling with my own.

  When I drain myself dry, I lift my head to find Dirk sitting across from us. His fingers steepled in front of his mouth, his elbows resting on his knees. My dad gives me a final squeeze. “Get her home, Dirk. I’ll stay with Raffe tonight.”

  Dirk nods and ushers me out of the room.

  Instead of driving all the way back to the warehouse we go to my grandparents. We climb into my old bed, holding each other tight.

  I let my fingers trail over the tattoos on his chest. It’s nice to be tucked so close to him. I’m afraid to go to sleep. So much has happened, I don’t know what I’ll find in my dreams tonight.

  “I was the one who followed your mom and Crow to the abortion clinic.”

  I lean my head back, surprised at the sudden break in silence.

  “When I called your dad, he told me if I stopped her he would give me whatever I wanted. I wanted to be vice-president of the Skulls. Something that normally doesn’t happen for a sixteen-year-old. He gave me that. When I figured out where you were this last time he told me he would give me anything my filthy heart wanted. Then we found you…and well you know what I want?” He pauses, running the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip.

  I shake my head no.

  “My filthy heart wants you, Jesse.”

  I smile and curl back into his chest. “I want you too.”

  “I’m going to tell you a story, not to hurt you. God, I don’t want to hurt you.” He pauses, thinking for a second before continuing. “I watched your mom’s belly grow for nine months. She used to moan and grumble about being pregnant. I thought what an ungrateful bitch. I was amazed she couldn’t appreciate the life that was growing inside her. One day I asked what she was going to name you. She laughed and said I could name you for all she cared.”

  Ouch.

  “So, I did.”

  I push away from him. “What? You named me?”

  “I wanted you to have a strong name. A name that said, don’t mess with me.”

  Blood pumps in my ears as I stare at the man of my dreams. The man whose strength I have borrowed for the last eight years. “You named me Jesse?”

  He laughs. “This is going to sound silly, but I was reading a book on Jesse James. You know the outlaw? I had to do something to pass the time while babysitting your miserable mother. Anyhow, I thought to myself, hmm, Jesse could be a girl or a boy’s name. I liked it. And, so you became Jesse.”

  “Dirk, I don’t know what to say.”

  He smiles. “How about that you like your name. That would be a good start.”

  “I love my name. I’ve always loved it.”

  “Good.” He kisses the end of my nose. “Let’s get some sleep.”

  I tuck myself in close to him, closing my eyes. I fall asleep in the arms of the man I have always belonged to. It may seem weird to some but to me it’s perfect. Dirk and I are a perfect match.

  When I wake up I find Dirk in the garage. He is standing there deep in thought. He startles when I move in the doorway.

  Chuckling I make my way over to him. His scary eyebrow pops up. “Sneaking up on me now?” he asks.

  “What are you doing out here?”

  “I have an idea on how we can help Raffe.”

  I hug him around the waist. “Let’s hear it.”

  “Well it all starts with my sister.”

  “Your sister?” I ask, confused.

  “Did you know she just happens to be a physical therapist?” A wicked grin spreads across his face.

  “He isn’t going to like this is he?”

  “He isn’t going to have a choice.”

  I shake my head back and forth. When Dirk has an idea, there’s no talking him out of it. “Okay, let’s get this plan of yours in motion.”

  He kisses me on the forehead. “This is why you’re perfect for me. You’re not even going to try to talk me out of it.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Jesse

  ◆◆◆

  It’s been a busy couple of weeks. My dad and Candice had their wedding. Katie’s adoption went through, which we celebrated with a big party. My dad went all out with bouncy houses, clowns, and ponies. Katie was thrilled. I’m so happy for her…for all of us actually. She’s brought so much joy to our lives.

  With all that going on Dirk and I still spent most of our time at the hospital. Raffe has been down, understandably so. He decided he wants to be transferred to a rehabilitation facility in Arizona, not because he thinks they will help him. But, because he doesn’t want to burden any of us. It’s been heartbreaking to watch his spirit fade. He’s basically given up.

  I run my hands down my jeans nervously. Today’s the big day. Dirk spins me around to face him. “You can do this. He will understand.” He shrugs his shoulders then adds, “Well, eventually he will understand.”

  I blow out a long breath, square my shoulders and then push the door to his room open. He is sitting up in bed starring out the window. His eyes slide to mine, and he offers me a small, fake smile. “Jesse, what are you doing here? I thought we said our goodbyes yesterday.”

  Ignoring him I move over to the chair perched beside his bed and sit down. He watches me carefully. “What’s going on?” he asks.

  “Do you know how much Dirk and I love you?”

  He rolls his eyes. “Yes, I know. You two have been smothering me with love for the past several weeks. It’s sickening, actually.”

  I nod my head slowly. “Did you really think we were going to let you go to another state, to a facility full of strangers?”

  “Jesse,” he warns. “We’ve been through this a hundred times. I will not be a burden to the club. I’m going to Arizona. My transport will be here in a few hours. It’s done.” He crosses his arms across his ch
est.

  “You’re going to walk again.”

  “And, like I’ve said, if that happens I’ll be back. If not…” his words trail off. He diverts his eyes away from me.

  I stand up and move his call light out of his reach. He tries to grab it from me but he’s not quick enough. “What the fuck, Jesse?”

  “He’s going to take you.”

  He blinks a few times trying to absorb my statement.

  Dirk opens the door pushing a wheelchair inside the room ahead of him. “So, are we doing this the easy way or the hard way?”

  Raffe whips his head towards Dirk giving me enough time to inject him. He flinches as I pull the needle from his neck. “You two play dirty…” he slurs before his eyes fall closed.

  Dirk and I high five each other before loading him up and wheeling him out of this godforsaken hospital. Victory is ours.

  The whole club helped us with the remodel on my grandparent’s home, my home. Dirk’s sister, Rachel, moved in with us. We also have a room for Raffe, with everything he needs to make him feel as independent as possible, with an attached bathroom that also meets his needs.

  The garage is filled with state-of-the-art rehabilitation equipment. We got everything Rachel said would help him. She is excited to work with him. She is confident that with her help, he will walk again. One thing I’ve learned about Rachel is that she is just as cocky as her brother. Sure, she’s quiet but don’t let that fool you. She fits right in with the rest of us.

  Raffe slowly stirs awake. He blinks as he struggles to focus on his surroundings. “Where are we?” he asks, sleepily.

  “Home,” I say, crawling up on his bed and snuggling under the covers with him.

  He wraps his arm around me as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He kisses the top of my head. “Okay, that doesn’t tell me a lot, but I will admit this is nice. You smell good.”

  I giggle, turning my face to look into his baby blue eyes. “It’s my grandparent’s home. Well was, I guess it’s mine now.”

  He lets his gaze roam over the room. “You did all this for me,” he says quietly.