Pregnancy tests.
Nova was ripping open pregnancy tests.
“Stop. Stop it right now,” I said.
“Reagan, I’m gonna level with you. This isn’t good. Between your overly bitchy attitude, you not wanting to eat your favorite dessert ever, you suddenly favoring a dessert you hate, and you massaging your chest, that’s enough evidence for me.”
“Evidence of what? I’m not pregnant,” I said.
“So, if I ask you if you and Maddox used protection, you’re going to fervently nod your head ‘yes’?” she asked.
I felt the blood drain from my face as I looked down at her arms.
“Gimme those,” I said.
“I’m taking the tags up to pay for them. Get into their bathroom and take all of these tests. All of them. At once,” Nova said.
“Okay. Okay, okay. Um… right here?”
“Yes. Right here. Now go,” she said.
I ran down the aisle dashing into the restroom. My hands were shaking and my mind was spinning. My stomach felt like it was going to eject the contents of the water bottle right onto the bathroom door. I shoved my pants down and put the pregnancy test between my legs, waiting for the urge to hit me so this nightmare could be over with.
I couldn’t be pregnant.
Shit like this couldn’t happen to me.
How the hell could I have been so stupid? How the fuck could I have overlooked protection? I never overlooked protection. I fucking carried condoms in my purse, for fuck’s sake! I leaned my head against the stall door as I peed onto the test.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I cleaned myself up.
Nova crashed through the doors just as I capped all the tests off, and them on the edge of the pharmacy sink. I felt like I was going to heave up my own lungs. It was hard to breathe and tears were springing to my eyes.
“This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.”
“Reagan, look at me,” Nova said.
“This can’t be happening. Not to me. Not now. I can’t… this can’t… Nova. This can’t happen. I can’t have a kid.”
“If those tests are positive, we’ll deal with it one step at a time. And whatever decision you make, know that I’m here for you,” she said.
“Nova, I’m not like you. I’m not married. Hell, Maddox won’t even answer my calls. I can’t have a man’s baby that I barely know. You’re so strong, and so beautiful, and so incredible. I’m nothing like you. I can’t carry this man’s child. I can’t do it.”
“Then there are things we can do to take care of that,” she said. “But first, we have to breathe deeply and wait for these tests to percolate.”
“Percolate. Like coffee,” I said flatly.
Nova hugged me in her arms and I buried my face into her neck. My chest ached and my stomach felt sick. I still wasn’t hungry even after two weeks of losing my appetite. I was shaking, holding Nova as closely as I could get her as the two minutes ticked down slower than sloth climbing down Everest. I counted each and every volatile second in my head as Nova swayed my body side to side, trying to get me to calm down.
Tears crested my eyes as I pulled away from her, then I cast my gaze onto the tests.
“Shit,” Nova said.
“No. No, no, no, no, no!”
I picked up test after test, seeing the glaring positive sign as I threw each of them in the trash can. I picked up all three tests, and each of them weren’t even wishy-washy about it.
It was official.
I was pregnant.
With a man’s child who wouldn’t even answer my calls.
“No,” I said as I began to sob. “No, no, no, no…. No.”
“We’ll get through this,” Nova said as she pulled me into her body. “We’ll get through this together.”
Chapter Fifteen
Maddox
I handed my father another set of confirmations of shipment as he grunted his approval. It had been seven weeks since I’d spoken with Reagan, but it was hard. She kept calling me and sending me text messages. Trying to take the initiative to see if I was free and even threatened to come by my house to corner me. Her fire was intoxicating and it only drew me to her more, but I knew I was doing the right thing. I knew I was making the best choice for both herself and my life. I couldn’t drag her into the lifestyle I was being forced into, and I kept repeating that to myself every time she called. Every time I wanted to pick up the phone and hear her voice, I kept telling myself this was for the good of everyone involved.
“Son, time to show you how this shit works,” my father said.
“What shit? You mean knowing about the guns?” I asked.
“Get your ass over here and watch,” he said.
I was into the part of my training that had me learning shit I didn’t want to learn. According to my father, being good at selling weapons meant knowing how every single part worked. I’d started with the shipping fiasco and now I was moving on up to learning more about all of our supplies. I didn’t care about this stuff. I didn’t care about what weapons we sold, or even who we sold them to. All I cared about was eventually finding a way out of the mess my father caused.
“You see this right here? This is called a ‘gun’,” my father said.
“Don’t patronize me, old man. I know what all this shit is,” I said.
“Oh? You do? Got balls that big, huh? Then tell me, that’s this?” he asked.
“Seriously? It’s a fucking silencer.”
“And this?”
“Holy fuck… Dad, it’s an assault weapon.”
“And this?”
“A rifle.”
“If you know this one, I’ll be impressed,” he said.
“Then prepared to be impressed, asshole. It’s a TEC-9.”
“‘Atta boy. You know weapons, but now you know how to hide a body.”
“You fucking serious?” I asked.
“As the damn heart attack I had last year. Come on. Since you’re such a damn hot shot about all of this, I’m gonna walk you through the next stage of expanding our business.”
“Expanding?” I asked.
“Son, we’re always expanding. That’s how we survive. You know, finding more buyers.”
“Or blackmailing them,” I said.
“Whatever you gotta do to keep the upper hand, boy. You’ll learn that sooner or later. And it might as well be sooner, because if you choose later, people end up dead.”
I gritted my teeth as my dad started to talk about how he wanted to expand our charters in Portland, taking up more of the Steel Outlaws area. I gritted my teeth as he continued to rattle on about how we would send some of our trusted guys from here and gain new prospects. He had no concern about the Steel Outlaws or the backlash that this would inevitably cause. I knew it was only a matter of time before another body showed up on our doorstep.
But how the hell could I stop this? It was like he was a runaway train headed for a blowup bridge and he was screaming to go full speed ahead.
“Wipe that pussy look off your face,” my father said. “Get over it. There is nothing that says that we can’t expand our club’s charters. The Steel Outlaws might not like it now, but they’ve got their own shit to deal with. We will just be taking their smaller clients that don’t make them that much money.”
“And what happens when you want more than their smaller clients?” I asked.
“Then we will fucking figure it out. The Steel Outlaws are a dying club anyway.”
“Dying club? Are you fucking kidding? They are still the largest motorcycle club on the West Coast.”
“Not for long,” my father said with a greedy smile.
I shook my head and walked out of the back office. I heard my dad screaming after me but I didn’t fucking care. This was too much. The dead body. The warning note. The expanding charters. My dad was being a greedy bastard. This was not the life for me. I wasn’t going to turn myself into the cold-hearted man my father had become. Greed had taken him ove
r and made him crazy. But I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t going to risk all the lives of the guys that were supposed to be my family, all for the possibility of a higher bank account.
“Maddox?”
Garrett was standing in front of me and pulled me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, Garrett, what’s up?”
“There’s some chick at the front asking for you.”
At first, I thought I was hearing things. There was no fucking way that some woman would be here to see me. I furrowed my brow as I made my way to the front office, my heart hammering in my chest.
“Maddox? Are you here?”
Her form came into view and I stopped in my tracks. Holy fuck, Reagan was here. Walking all over freshly turned dirt and searching for me. Was she crazy? Had she lost her damn mind? How the fuck did she find me out here anyway?
“Reagan?” I asked.
Her head turned towards me before her feet carried her as fast as they could. A couple of the guys were working in the garage and they were starting to give us looks, so I held out my hand to stop her. The smile from her face fell instantly, pulling my heart to my toes along with it. I kept my face as stern as I could, trying to put up a big front in case word of this got back to my father. Reagan’s eyes were round with fear, and I felt my blood run cold.
Why was she scared?
Had someone threatened her?
Come after her?
I was gonna fucking kill whoever had come after her.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” Reagan asked.
I looked around the lot at the people staring at us.
“Get the fuck back to work!” I said with a roar.
Then, I turned back to Reagan.
“Not here,” I said as I grabbed her arm.
“Maddox, we really need to talk.”
“And I said not here. Where’s your car?” I asked.
“Maddox, let go of me. You’re hurting me,” she said.
“Where the fuck’s your car, Reagan?”
“Maddox, I’m pregnant!”
Her words stopped me in my tracks. My head whipped down to take her in as her eyes filled with tears. My grip on her arm was strong. Turning her skin white as she tried to wiggle away from my grasp. I dropped her arm as I tried to get my wits about me, but I could feel people still staring at us.
Shit. Who all had heard her say that?
“It’s not safe here,” I said.
“We need to talk. Please. You aren’t answering my phone calls and-”
“I said… not here. Aren’t you listening to me?” I asked.
I looked down at her and watched her shoulders cave in. I placed my hand on the small of her back and led her quickly to my bike. I handed her a helmet then hopped on and cranked it up. I sped away from the mechanic shop like a bat out of hell, taking us to my favorite secluded lunch spot where we could have some privacy.
Holy shit.
Reagan was pregnant.
I white knuckled the handle bars as my head began to swirl. Had this woman not been on some sort of birth control? Women nowadays were always on birth control! That was just… expected. How the hell could I have been so stupid? I even carried a condom around in my damn wallet for impromptu shit like this. How the hell had I gone from distancing myself from this woman to getting her pregnant? How the fuck was I supposed to take care of a family? I couldn’t do that with this type of lifestyle. That wasn’t something I was capable of doing yet?
Had she made a decision on what she was going to do?
Reagan’s arms were loosely wound around my waist. She was scooted as far back on my bike as she could and it made my chest ache. I had scared her. Hurt her. Made her frightened of me in my attempt to gain some sort of semblance of control. Could she not have sent me a text message about this? Or left it on a voice message somewhere? It would’ve gotten my attention.
I would’ve called her back about something like this.
I pulled up to the restaurant and parked my bike. I got off and helped her off as well.
“Your arm okay?” I asked.
“Like you fucking care,” Reagan said.
“I do care.”
“Sure as hell doesn’t seem like it,” she said.
“I do care about it. It’s why I haven’t been returning your phone calls or messages.”
“Then someone needs to slap some sense into you, because you’ve got this shit all sorts of backwards.”
“I take it I should blame the attitude on the hormones?” I asked.
Her eyes panned over towards me and the anger in them caused me to back down. Her eyes were wide and her hair was wild. Her skin was paler than normal, which meant she probably wasn’t eating well. Shit, was she that sick? Was she holding down fluids at least? Did she need to go see a doctor?
“Have you been to a doctor yet?” I asked.
“You sure you wanna travel down that road, or are you driving me to an abortion clinic?” she asked.
I grimaced at her nonchalance as she sighed.
“Yes, I’ve been to a doctor,” Reagan said.
“What did the doctor say?” I asked.
She pulled her purse from her shoulder and started digging around in it. Things were clacking around and clattering all over the place. Lipsticks and lip glosses were falling onto the ground as she cursed. Her wallet was tipping out and balled up tissues were climbing their way to the top. She sniffled, trying her best to keep her composure before she tossed something at me.
A roll of black and white square pictures dropped into my hands as we sat there staring at each other.
“Congratulations,” Reagan said flatly. “You’re going to be a dad.”
Chapter Sixteen
Reagan
Cars honked their horns in the distance. Maddox was looking at the pictures like an idiot. Like some dumbfounded sixth grader who just got punched. It wasn’t until I cleared my throat that he was ripped from his trance.
We stood there in silence. I was beyond pissed at how he was reacting. First, he acted like I was stalking him, then he acted like I was an inconvenience, then he acted like I had fired a stun gun at him. I was the one that was pregnant. I was the one who was freaking out. I was the one whose body would change and whose career would have to be given up and whose world would come crashing down.
Not his.
He wouldn’t balloon like a soggy piece of bread over the next nine months.
I crossed my arms over my chest and let out a frustrated sigh. I turned and I walked up the steps and into the restaurant before Maddox could catch me. I told the hostess there were two of us and promptly followed her, not caring where the hell Maddox was.
He could stand by his bike and stare for all I cared.
I sat down and gave my drink order as Maddox approached the table. He stopped the waitress and whispered something in her ear, then sat down in front of me. I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to look at him. I was so angry with how he was reacting and I was petrified as to what this meant for the rest of my life. I thought things were going good with us, then he disappeared. Then I figure out I’m pregnant with his child and he acts like a deer in headlights.
Some man he turned out to be.
“I’m not trying to trap you,” I said.
“I would’ve never thought that about you,” Maddox said.
“You have a funny way of showing it.”
“I’m shocked. That’s all.”
“Did someone not give you the sex talk as a kid?” I asked. “Because usually unprotected sex leads to this kind of thing.”
“Are you okay? Have you been to see a doctor?”
“Where do you think I got the ultrasound pictures from?” I spat.
“I mean an obstetrician. Not simply a general physician.”
“Yes, I’ve seen an obstetrician,” I said.
“And?”
“And… things are okay for now. Got p
renatals, those pictures. Something to help with my nausea.”
“You’ve been sick?”
“Yes, I’ve been sick. And had you bothered to return any of my calls, you would’ve known this,” I said.
Silence fell upon us as our waitress approached the table.
“You guys ready to order?” she asked.
“I’ll have your soup of the day and some saltine crackers, please,” I said.
“And I’ll have your burger. Medium rare. With a side of onion rings and fries. And a small cup of the soup as well,” Maddox said.
“Anything else?” the waitress asked.
“No thanks,” I said.
“Nope. But thanks,” Maddox said.
“I’ll go put in those orders and be back to fill your drinks,” the waitress said.
“If the soup sits well with you, you can have more of my soup,” Maddox said.
“So now you want to play nice.”
“Reagan, I’m trying to-”
“Why didn’t you return my calls?” I asked.
Maddox sighed and sat back into his chair.
“I thought we were… I thought things were going well,” I said.
“They were.”
“Did I do something?”
“No. You were wonderful. You still are wonderful,” he said.
“Then why did you drop off the face of the planet?”
“It’s complicated,” he said.
“It always is. We’ve got an entire lunch to unpack what happened.”
“Have you been experiencing anything else with your… you know.”
“Pregnancy? Fuck, Maddox. The least you could do is say the damn word.”
I watched his eyes widen at my language as the waitress appeared back at the table. She refilled our drinks and set some napkins on the table, then kept asking stupid questions. Things like ‘do you need anything?’ and ‘what about dessert?’. She was eyeing Maddox and raking her eyes down his form.
It made me irate to watch her flirt with him.
“We’re fine, thank you,” Maddox said.
“Well if you need anything, feel free to flag me down,” the waitress said.
“If he wants to sleep with you, you’ll know. I promise,” I said flatly. She starred and me slightly shocked and then quickly turned on her heels and left the table.
Baby and the Biker: The Ghost Riders MC Page 9
