I cast my gaze out the window and crossed my arms over my chest. This wasn’t going at all like I thought it would. I don’t know why I convinced myself this would be a happy reunion, but I thought it would be. I figured I’d show up at his work, tell him what was going on, and he would wrap his arms around me and try to keep me safe. Kiss the top of my head and tell me things were going to be okay.
But instead, I got a bunch more bullshit.
“If you want to be in this situation with me, then you need to shape up,” I said. “This deer-in-headlights thing isn’t going to work for me. I can’t be pregnant, trying to keep up my job, and trying to volley you around. If you want to be in this, then be in it. And if you don’t, then let me know. Financially, I’ll be okay. I’ve got a good place to bring a child back to. But the last thing I’m going to do is chase you down again.”
“I understand,” Maddox said. “I’m sorry. For everything I put you through.”
“You should be. But thank you,” I said.
“Here’s your food,” the waitress said. “Soup and crackers for you, and a burger and soup for you.”
Our waitress was making googly eyes at Maddox and I had to hold back my laughter.
“Everything look okay?” the waitress asked.
“It does,” I said. “Thank you.”
“I’m good,” Maddox said. “But we could use some privacy. If you want to bring a pitcher of water and put it on the table, that would be nice.”
“We can’t technically do that, sir.”
“Then find me a waitress who can,” Maddox said with a smile.
I snickered and shook my head as the waitress flashed me a look. I tried to bite back my laughter as she stormed off, her shoulders rolled back to look taller than she was. Her nose was in the air as she sat a pitcher of water onto the table, then she lingered for a while longer. Her eyes were connected with Maddox’s and her back was turned fully to me.
What a bitch.
“If you need anything, I’ll be just over there,” the waitress said.
“If I need anything, I’ll be getting your manager,” Maddox said.
A giggle fell from my lips as our waitress walked away. I shook my head and took a bite of the soup, humming as I did so. I put the spoon down and picked up the bowl, tilting it to my lips to drink it as fast as I could.
It was the first thing my body had agreed with in days.
For a moment, I forgot about Maddox. I forgot about the position I was in with him and what was going on. I forgot I was pregnant and that my life was going to change forever. I even forgot the waitress had been blatantly hitting on Maddox.
I didn’t set the bowl down until the brothy soup was gone. And in front of me was the small cup that had come with Maddox’s meal.
“Eat it,” he said. “I’ll order you more if you want some.”
I picked up my spoon and tried to be ladylike about it. But my stomach was growling with hunger. I picked the cup up and drank the soup, gulping it down at it dribbled down my chin. My stomach kept begging for more. Begging for the soft vegetables and the sodium and the liquid.
I felt tears crest my eyes as another bowl was set in front of me.
“You’ve been really sick, haven’t you?” Maddox asked.
I looked up at him at tears lined my eyes.
“Not actually sick. But I have aversions to a lot of things. This is the first thing I’ve wanted in weeks,” I said.
“Then eat at much of it as you want. I’ll get you some to-go before we leave.”
“I don’t know if I can do this alone,” I said breathlessly.
“Then it’s a good thing you don’t have to.”
I looked up into Maddox’s eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. Was he serious? Was he really going to do this with me? I satiated my appetite enough to eat my second bowl of soup with my spoon, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him. His thick shoulders and his strong arms and his steely gray eyes. That black, thick head of hair I had once run my fingertips through and that cheeky grin that always seemed to sit on his cheeks.
I saw why I had caved to him.
And I felt my legs growing weak as I sat at the table.
“When’s your due date?” Maddox asked.
“Hmm?”
“When are you due?”
“Oh. Um… November. November 18th.”
“That’s a beautiful time of year to have a child,” he said.
“I thought so, too. I’ve always enjoyed the middle of autumn.”
“Why?” he asked.
“The changing of everything is cathartic. Everything dies, but even in its death it’s beautiful. And then there’s always the promise of regrowth. Death isn’t the end of autumn, but the beginning of the cycle to get there again. I don’t know. It’s always held a profound truth I’ve tried to identify with.”
I felt Maddox’s eyes on me as we finished up our lunch. He got me another soup to-go despite my insistence he didn’t need to, then we stood to leave. He offered his arm to me and I took it, relishing in the warmth of his body against mine.
Our waitress eyed us with a nasty glare as we walked out of the restaurant.
“I’ll have to give her manager a call,” Maddox said.
“Don’t bother. Even women like her need jobs,” I said.
“She made our lunch very uncomfortable.”
“I think you had a hand in that as well,” I said.
“She shouldn’t be flirting with me. Especially when I was already with you.”
I blushed at his words as he handed me the helmet.
“I’m going to take you home, then I’ll make sure your car gets to you. That’s what you came to the shop in, right?”
“It is.”
“You don’t have to go through all of that. Just take me back to the shop and I can drive home,” I said.
Maddox turned to look at me, his eyes soft and filled with worry. I wrapped my arms around his waist and waited for him to argue with me.
But instead, he reached down and took my hand softly within his.
“We’re going to get through this. I know you don’t understand why I was dodging your phone calls, but I’ll tell you. Eventually. When the time is right. What’s important right now is getting you home so you can rest. And I’ll never come over unless you want me to. Or if I think you’re hurt or sick. But that’s it. Your life is yours, and my life is mine. All I want to do is make sure you and our child are okay.”
Our child.
He said ‘our child’.
“Alright fine, take me home,” I said.
I directed him back to my house and he pulled up to my apartment building. His thumb was tracing mindless circles on top of my skin, and when his bike came to a stop I didn’t move. His touch felt wonderful and the strength of his grip was reassuring. I felt like my life was careening out of control, and somehow Maddox rooted me.
Even though I should’ve still been angry at him.
“Could I walk you in?” he asked.
“I’d like it if you did,” I said.
We held hands, my soup dangling at my side as we made our way to my front door. Maddox’s hand fell to the small of my back and I had to close my eyes. Draw in a deep breath. Pay attention to keep my hands from shaking. I dug through my purse for my keys and opened the door, but when I turned back to look up at Maddox his eyes were connected to mine.
Hot and fiery, and full of that fierce tone I’d become so familiar with.
“Maddox,” I said breathlessly.
His hand came up to cup my cheek as my knees grew weak.
He backed me into my house and everything dropped to the floor. My purse. The soup. My keys. His foot kicked my door closed as our lips crashed together, the heat of his body blanketing me. My hands flew to his hair, raking through his thick, luscious locks as our teeth clattered together. His tongue tasted sweet and felt so soft on the roof of my mouth.
He backed me into my couch and we went toppling over
. His body covered mine as his hands roamed my curves. Squeezing my tits and massaging my hips and pressing into the dip in my waist. We ripped each other’s clothes off, trying to get rid of the barrier between us as heat grew between my legs.
I had to have him.
It felt like I was starving without him.
His lips kissed down my neck, leaving a trail of nips and bites in his wake. I felt his tongue lap at my nipple, rubbing it to a painful peak before taking it between his lips. His thick body sank between my legs before we rolled off the couch. My legs straddled his as his hands rushed up my back.
I could feel his massive cock pulsing against my thigh.
I rolled my hips and captured his cock between my pussy folds. His hips bucked forward, sheathing himself with me in one fell swoop. My jaw unhinged and I groaned his name, my eyes rolling back and my toes already curling.
The electricity shooting through my body could’ve lit up a city block.
My hands dug into the chiseled strength of his chest as his hands cupped my ass. He rolled me into him, his heels planted firmly into the floor. He was thrusting into me, making my tits jump for his viewing pleasure. I felt him pulsing against my walls, stretching me further and further open to accommodate his body. I rolled into him, my juices dripping onto his skin. I could feel my arousal coating his girth and running down his balls.
And the look of lust in his eyes made me hungry for more of him.
He leaned up and our lips crashed together again. He gripped me tightly as he stood from the floor. He walked forward until my back was pressed into the first wall he came to, his hands by my head as his hips began to swirl. He pounded into me, keeping a relentless pace. I was trapped between the cool temperature of the wall and the radiating heat of his body.
“Maddox. Maddox. Oh my gosh, don’t stop.”
I clung to him. I was scared that if I let him go, he would leave. That this would all be a dream and I would wake up, pregnant and alone. My fear was that if I released him, even for a second, he would understand the grave mistake he’d made with me and he would leave.
Abandon me, like it felt everyone else had.
I kissed down his cheek. His neck. His shoulders. My teeth grazed along his pulse point as his hands found mine. He threaded our fingers together and pinned my hands above my head, opening my body to him as our eyes connected.
“Keep them open,” he said. “I wanna see the pleasure in your stare.”
My jaw began to tremble as fire shot through my veins. That familiar gut-wrenching sensation began to build. My legs tightened around his hips and his cock grew thicker between my legs. My body was wracked with electricity and silver stars were bursting in my vision.
“That’s it,” Maddox said. “Let me see. Let me feel you, Reagan. Let me show you I can catch you.”
My back arched into him and I allowed my body to let go. My pussy clamped around his cock, pulling him further into my body. My eyes held his as his jaw clenched with pleasure. Our bodies were pressed together and our noses were barely touching. He was staring at me. Watching the orgasm roll over my face as my legs pulled him closer. My toes curled and my hands tightening and my heels dug into the pulsing muscles of his lower back.
My jaw unhinged, my pleasure choking the sounds from my throat as his eyes fluttered closed.
My pussy milked his cock for everything it had. I felt him filling me up. Pumping thread after thread of hot cum deep within my body. My head fell onto his shoulder and I gasped for air, my body collapsing into his as his arms wrapped around me.
He pressed me deeper into the wall, holding me up as my body sank into his.
“I’m sorry,” I said breathlessly. “I’m so sorry, Maddox.”
“So am I,” he said into my ear. “So am I, Reagan.”
He peeled me away from the wall and I felt him carrying me into a room. My back descended onto the cool sheets of my bed as my eyes fluttered closed. My body felt heavy and my mind was swirling. My legs were still shaking from the aftershocks of my orgasm. I felt Maddox tucking me in, his hands scooting the sheets underneath the languid curves of my body.
Curves he’d just sunken his fingers into.
He pressed a kiss to my forehead before I listened to him retreat. I wanted to open my eyes and take one last look at him, but they felt too heavy for me to do anything with. I heard him rummaging around, opening the refrigerator door and doing a few other things. I heard the couch scooting across the floor and clothes being picked up. I even heard my washer running before the front door finally opened.
I wanted to call out for him. To tell him to come lay down beside me.
I heard the front door closed and I slipped into a deep slumber. My body felt weightless as I floated along the clouds. The sun was shining brightly upon my face and the birds were chirping. My skin felt like silk as the wind rushed against it. I saw castles made of clouds and children running in and out of the tall double doors. I saw swimming pools filled with crystal clear waters and people lounging around having drinks. I felt something warm in the palm of my hand and I looked over, a smile spreading across my cheeks.
It was Maddox.
Floating along beside me with his dashing smile and his strong form.
He has permeated the whole of me. Seeded me with life and penetrated my dreams. My eyes fluttered open and I looked around my darkened room, my heart sinking with the reality of my situation. I wasn’t floating among the clouds and listening to children giggle as they swam in swimming pools in the sky. I was in my house.
Alone.
Like I had always been.
I dragged myself into the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I took a quick shower and relegated myself to a sleepless night before work. I pulled my robe around my body and let my red hair drip dry, then pulled my laptop onto my lap.
Just because I wasn’t at my office didn’t mean I couldn’t get some work done.
So, I threw myself into work, ignoring the staunch reality nipping at my heels. I ignored the fact that I was pregnant and I ignored the fact that I’d slept with the man who had ducked me for an entire two months. I ignored the fact that I was having the child of a man I barely knew, who had no intentions of loving me or cherishing me as anything else than the vehicle for which his child would be born.
I’d live my life watching the father of my child love our child more than he did me.
And I wasn’t sure which reality hurt worse. The fact that I was stuck with Maddox for the rest of my life or the fact that he wouldn’t love me.
Because I wasn’t ready to admit what any of that meant.
I wasn’t ready to admit what I wish would happen, because I felt crazy for even thinking it.
Chapter Seventeen
Maddox
I closed the front door and walked back into Reagan’s room. Her shoulders were rising and falling with the peaceful sleep her body was dragging her into. I leaned against the doorway of her bedroom, watching her sleep. Watching her body get the rest it needed after our beautiful moment together.
How had this happened? I wasn’t an idiot. I knew how it happened. But why hadn’t this woman told me she wasn’t protected in any way? I carried condoms on me just in case. Did she not care about getting pregnant? She said she wasn’t trying to trap me, but was that really the truth? What other possible reason was there for a grown woman to not mention the fact that she wasn’t on birth control?
I walked into her kitchen and opened up her fridge. I had gotten her dishwasher and washing machine going so she wouldn’t have to worry about clean clothes and dishes. But I needed a drink. I found a bottle of opened wine in the back of her fridge and grimaced at it. I was much more of a beer or whiskey guy. But I reached for it anyway and searched for a glass, then threw it back like it was nothing.
Reagan was pregnant. Which meant I would have to come clean with her. About me. About my family. About the life I was leading. I didn’t want to. I wanted nothing to do with the MC. But now, she was a
risk. Something that could be used as leverage if I wasn’t careful. I had to keep her safe. My number one priority now was making sure Reagan and our unborn child led the most comfortable and safe life I could provide for them.
But how was I going to do that?
How could I keep her safe when I was surrounded by death and destruction?
I poured myself another glass of wine before I tossed the bottle away. I listened to her soft breathing emanating from her room as she slipped deeper into her sleeping state. My father was going to be irate. Hell, he would probably be the first risk I would have to mitigate in order to keep Reagan safe. I closed my eyes and let the cheap wine trickle down my throat. The burn seeped into my mind, pulling me back to that moment.
The moment she set those pictures in my hand.
I reached into my pocket and felt around for them. There they were, folded up and shoved against my thigh. I placed my wine glass in the sink and pulled them out, trying to unwrinkle them as much as possible. These pictures deserved better than that. They were the first pictures of my firstborn. My child. My son or daughter that I would be having with a vibrant, sassy, intelligent woman. I grabbed a magnet from the refrigerator door and tacked them up so Reagan could see them whenever she got up.
But I tore the last one off and kept it for myself.
I took out my wallet and slid it in as a small grin crossed my cheeks. If I was going to be the father I wanted to be, then I couldn’t continue this lifestyle. I couldn’t continue to enforce violence and smile like a snake to get shipments skirted through customs. I could no longer allow the motorcycle club my father had built to rule my life. Not if I wanted to keep Reagan safe.
Not if I wanted to raise my child in a life I wished for myself.
I shoved my wallet back into my pocket and made my way into Reagan’s room. She was sleeping soundly, a small smile tugging at her cheeks. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, reveling in how her skin glowed. How warm she was against my lips and how soft she felt whenever I pressed into her.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, whispering. “I promise.”
Baby and the Biker: The Ghost Riders MC Page 10
