Soon, I stumbled upon the offer from my firm and I went to the interview. Larry gave me the chance right away, and I’ve stayed here ever since. He was the best boss one could have.
Now, I had a great job as an accountant. I had been able to quit my job waitressing and at the grocery store, and I was finally making enough money to actually have some savings. My life took a 180 degree turn.
It was like a dream. Or better yet—a dream come true.
I had a good relationship with my colleagues, and the job was something I was passionate about. If someone told me just a few years ago I would be able to experience this, I would tell them they were crazy, but it was funny how things could turn out in the end. I had lost something, but I had also gained something, so I was able to find a balance.
“Hey, Langley.” Marissa, my coworker, came to my desk, fanning herself with a folder. It was extremely hot, even for a summer day, and the AC wasn’t enough to cool us down. “Are you super busy?”
Marissa and I clicked with each other from day one, and soon she became my good friend. She helped me a lot when I started working here because she showed me the ropes and spent time with me out of work so I wouldn’t be alone. She was amazing.
“I’m always busy. Larry asked me to deliver some documents that he needs urgently. On top of that, one of our clients has problems and Larry has to pull him out of them.”
“You’re something else, Langley. And I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of telling you this. You always deal with everything with such poise that I truly envy you. Not many are able to stay calm under such pressure.”
I smiled back at her. After I finished high school and realized I wouldn’t be able to attend college, I felt unaccomplished and depressed. I wanted to claim my place in this world, knowing I could do much better than struggling with two jobs I didn’t like, but this seemed so unattainable. Today I was accomplished and I was doing what I always wanted, and no amount of pressure could take that away from me.
“It’s nothing. And you know I just love this job.”
“I love it too, girl, but you’re something else. How do you always stay so positive?”
That was a good question. Three years ago when Mary recovered and I decided to move on, I was down in the dumps and thought I would never pull out of it. I thought depression would follow me wherever I went. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to live without Brooks that I doubted my decision so many times.
But I managed to find my own path.
“It’s difficult and at times I have my gloomy moments too, but all that matters is that I’m happy with myself.”
“I like that. ‘Happy with myself’. You sound like a guru.”
“I could be your personal guru if you want.” I winked at her.
“You already are. How many times have you consoled me after a terrible breakup?”
Marissa was one of the unluckiest people I’d met when it came to dating. She just couldn’t find the right one for her, no matter how many Tinder dates she tried.
“And I’ll do it many times more if needed. But of course, I hope it won’t be needed because you suffered enough already.”
She sighed. “Ah, I know. But what can I do when I’m unlucky?” She shook her head. “But how about you? Any cute guy in sight?”
I shook my head and waved my documents at her. “Nope, and now I really have to continue working. Larry will chop off my head if I don’t deliver this in less than an hour.”
“Oh, so we’re avoiding the topic, are we?”
“Shoo! I’m busy here.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re always too busy when the topic becomes too juicy.” She tapped my shoulder. “Just give some of them a chance, will ya? I saw Tim, from the floor below, flirt with you yesterday, and I have to say—you two would make a great couple.”
With a chuckle, she winked at me and left me to work. I was looking at the figures on the paper, but I couldn’t actually see them.
Yes, Tim had been flirting with me—not that it was the first time—but I couldn’t care less about him. I couldn’t care less about guys at the moment.
I hadn’t told Marissa that I wasn’t actually interested in dating. Not yet. I’d had a few guys who wanted to take me out, but I rejected every single one of them because I wasn’t ready to start a new relationship. It was better to remain single until all my conflicting emotions disappeared.
While I was happy with my life and looked forward to my future, a part of me still missed Brooks and what we could have had. I had tried to forget him. I had tried so hard, but even after three years there were some lingering feelings that prevented me from fully moving on.
The nights were the most difficult. During the day I was busy, so his image couldn’t haunt me as it haunted me during nights when I had to sleep alone in a huge bed, the quiet around me too loud to actually relax.
Whenever I closed my eyes, willing myself to eliminate the thoughts of him, they returned with full force, which led to dreams in which Brooks had the main role. We were together at my old place or his place, making love or spending time together snuggling. We laughed and teased each other. We made promises to stay together our whole life.
I was stuck in that time, so that when I woke up I couldn’t easily get over those feelings of love and happiness, which I had lost the moment he decided to leave me to join the military. And then the suffocating questions would start.
Why wasn’t I enough for him? Why didn’t he trust me enough to stay and let me help him find some other solution? Why didn’t he want my help?
His betrayal shattered my self-confidence, so I couldn’t go into a new relationship that easily now. I couldn’t let myself fall for someone and dedicate my life to them only to get left behind in the end.
I hated that my heart was stubborn and still wanted me to go back to him, but it was too late. I couldn’t go back to him, and even if I wanted to, I was sure he had moved on.
It had to get better one day. I would forget Brooks completely and I would find the man who would make me happy.
“Okay, Langley. Enough of that. Now, focus,” I told myself.
Shaking these dismal thoughts aside, I focused on the text in front of me and got back to work. I was happy and fulfilled, and that was all that mattered.
Chapter Twelve
Brooks
I parked my car in front of my mother’s house, elated that I was home from Iraq after such a long time. I got out of my car and looked around mom’s garden, taking in the change in scenery.
Three years ago the yard was bare, reflecting my mom’s inability to breathe life to it, but now the blooming flowers of various kinds and sizes covered most of it. It was touching to see that she was able to take care of this garden. A huge smile settled on my face.
The explosion of colors and scents was pleasant to my senses, and the longing for my home doubled. I had missed this a lot.
I picked up a few bags with gifts for mom and walked over to the front door, getting more excited at the prospect of seeing her at last. I rang the bell twice.
The door opened, and my mother appeared, looking cute in her flowery dress with her hair styled in beautiful waves. She was looking younger than the day I left, and at first I was so overjoyed that I couldn’t say a thing.
“Brooks!” she squealed and pulled me into a tight embrace. “I can’t believe you finally came back! Oh, how good it is to see you!”
My heart contracted with happiness, and I returned her hug with everything I had, unbelievably emotional to hold her like this after three long years.
“Mom, I missed you so much,” I said into her shoulder, beaming.
“Oh Brooks, I missed you too.” She pulled away to grab my head and kiss my forehead, her eyes twinkling with pure joy. “I missed you so much, my dear. I counted the days until your arrival, and I kept thinking about you. And now that you’re here, I feel like my heart will burst with happiness.”
Her gaze darted all over my face and b
ody, her hands caressing my cheeks. “Look at you! You’ve cut your hair, and you’ve became more muscular. You’re so handsome!”
I chuckled. “Thanks. You’ve changed too. For the better.” I studied her, happy how healthy she looked. Color had come back to her cheeks, and she didn’t look frail anymore. She looked so much like the old Mary—invincible and strong. There was a happy glint in her eyes that never existed during her battle with cancer. And most importantly, she was smiling.
To my immense relief, her cancer was still in remission, and I was hopeful she would never have to go through that again.
“You look beautiful, mom. I assume you have a ton of male admirers.”
She let out a giggle, her cheeks flushing. “If only. And you flatter me. I just took Kelly’s advice to let my hairdresser experiment with my hair and applied a bit of makeup. But why are we still standing here? Come in!”
“Sure. This is for you.” I handed her the bags and followed her inside.
The mixture of vanilla and roses met my nostrils, and it was soothing. I had missed this smell a lot. I had missed this house, period. I entered the living room, glancing around the familiar furniture, somehow feeling as if it was yesterday that I said goodbye to my mother before I went away. Every single piece of furniture remained in the same place, and nostalgia hit me.
She brought the tea, and we seated ourselves on the couch. The TV was set on mute, some soap-opera filling the screen, and I smiled at it. Soap-operas were mom’s weakness along with books. She just couldn’t resist romance stories.
“How have you been, Brooks?” she asked me after she poured a cup of tea and gave it to me.
“Good. It was busy, but it was manageable. They deployed us to various locations across Iraq, but we didn’t encounter any major problems. I was lucky, I guess.”
She pressed her hand against her heart, visibly relieved. “Oh, that is good. I was so worried. I felt such a relief whenever you wrote you were safe! Did you eat well there? Were you sick?”
Laughter replaced my grin, and I shook my head. “Mom, I’m not a kid anymore. I can take care of myself.”
“A mother will always worry and take care of her child.”
“I know, but seriously, everything was fine. I’ve made a few friends, which made my stay there more enjoyable. They are all good guys.”
“That is great to hear.”
“How about you? You look healthy.”
She took a sip of her tea, looking into the distance with a slight smile. “I’m great. I feel like before, and I’m able to live normally. I don’t get tired anymore, and I don’t have to use any medicine.” She covered my hand. “I even started yoga recently! I was complaining to Kelly how inflexible I felt and she advised me to go to yoga classes. Her sister-in-law is my instructor, and it’s easy to follow her instructions. I have so much fun during her classes.”
“Just don’t overwork yourself.”
“I know.” She cupped my cheek. “You don’t have to be so worried, Brooks.”
“How about work? You mentioned in one of your letters that you applied to several schools?”
“Ah, yes. I have started working as a substitute teacher a few days a week.”
“And how is it?”
“I like it there. The kids are so smart and diligent. There is one girl that is extremely bright, and she keeps amazing me with her answers. She will go a long way.”
“Will they hire you as their regular teacher anytime soon?”
“I hope so. They are satisfied with my current work, and they said that if there is an empty spot in the near future, they will consider me first.”
I felt so proud of her. Back then, she was devastated that she couldn’t work anymore, crying for days after she lost her job. She was passionate about teaching, and she loved working with children. It was frustrating to see something so precious to her taken away. So I could only imagine how happy she was to go back to teaching.
“Now that you’re back, do you plan to return to your old job?” she asked me.
“Actually, I’m planning to open my own auto repair shop.”
Her eyes were as big as saucers. “You are?”
I nodded. “I love working with cars, but I don’t want to work for someone else. I want to have something on my own. I’ve saved enough money, so I can open it soon.”
She clasped her hands together, grinning with delight. “Oh, that is wonderful! I’m so happy for you, hon. We have to celebrate this. Actually, we have to celebrate your arrival first. I have to make dinner and invite our friends. I’ll prepare some of your favorite dishes.”
“You don’t have to go out of your way. There can be just the two of us—”
“Nonsense! This deserves a big celebration, and a big celebration is what you’re going to get! Now let me bring you some cookies.”
She stood up and marched out to the kitchen, and I watched her fascinated. She was full with energy, so enthusiastic and positive. In this moment, she reminded me so much of Langley…
I stood up and went into the kitchen, a dull ache intensifying with each step.
“Say, have you heard from Langley recently?” I was looking at her back as she prepared the cookies.
Barely visibly, she stiffed. She didn’t turn around to face me. “Actually, yes. We write letters to each other occasionally.”
She didn’t say anything else, which only added to my burning curiosity. “How is she?”
A sigh left her lips. “She is good.”
“Is she?”
“Yes. She sounds happy in her letters.”
I came next to her, swallowing hard. I had been thinking a lot about Langley lately. These last several days I felt like I couldn’t breathe with the overload of emotions, and my heart pounded too hard each time I thought about the possibility to see her soon.
I felt like a teenager, too lovesick, which was ridiculous. There was no guarantee I would even be able to see Langley when I came back home and that ship had sailed a long time ago, but I couldn’t help but hope to see her and hug her again. If only she would let me do it, of course.
I couldn’t move on, no matter how many times I tried to. Topher was going crazy next to me because he often had to hear me complain about how much I missed her, telling me a couple of times I was pussy whipped.
So knowing I could finally see her—even from the distance—did something strange to me. It was like I was high on adrenaline, too excited.
“Is she still working at the same places?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. She doesn’t talk much about herself. She mentions some good books she’s read or the movies she’s watched, but other than that, I don’t know about her life.”
She moved to look at me. “As much as it pains me, she wants to avoid you, Brooks, but I understand.”
I glanced away, overridden with guilt. “So, she still holds a grudge against me.”
“You can say so, but can you blame her? She didn’t look good after you left, but she never complained to me about it. Instead, she took care of me, always remaining optimistic. You know Langley. She’s always cheerful, and that helped me pull through the difficult period.”
“I know, mom, but I wish…” I exhaled a long sigh, moving my hand through my hair. “I wish things are different. I miss her. I hoped I could forget about her, but I can’t, and I wish I could make everything right.”
“That is between you two, and I don’t want to interfere, but it would be a lie if I told you I wouldn’t be the happiest to see you back together. However, if she moved on, then you have to move on too, Brooks. Now that you’re back, maybe you can find a new girl?”
I didn’t respond anything to that, knowing very well that was impossible for me. I couldn’t eradicate Langley from my heart or mind, desiring to have her underneath me right here and now. No other girl could make me feel what Langley had made me feel, and all I wished for was one more chance with her.
Later, I went out
and drove by the grocery store, and I parked in front of it. I couldn’t help it. My heart was beating too fast as I stared at the glass door of her store, my body itching to run to her.
And in this moment, I decided that I needed to see her again. I wanted to work things out and explain to her that I would never leave again. I would try my hardest to show her how much I loved her and how serious I was about us. We could try again.
With a determination that was stronger than anything, I got out of my car and went to the entrance of her store, taking deep breaths to calm myself. My palms started sweating from anxiety, which reminded me so much of the time I took Langley out on our first date. I had been so nervous about seeing her then, and now, as an adult, I felt like the old me.
My heart was in my throat when I opened the door and entered the store, my breathing uneven. I looked around everywhere, finding one of her old coworkers, but she was nowhere in sight.
“Brooks?” I turned and spotted Missy—if I recalled her name correctly—a few feet away. “Is that really you?” She came closer to me. “Oh my. That’s really you! You came back from the marines?”
“Yeah.” I smiled at her and looked around me one more time. Maybe Langley was in the break room. “I came back today.”
“It’s so good to see you again!” She shook my hand, her smile plastered on her face. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
“It feels that way. How are things going on around here?”
“Oh, you know, some days it can be super busy, but we’re managing. Same old, same old.” She placed her hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side. “Do you need anything?”
I scratched my neck. “Is Langley here?”
She didn’t respond right away, looking at me strangely. “No. She isn’t here.”
“Is it her day off?”
Once more, silence followed my question, and she shifted on her feet. “Hasn’t she told you?”
“Told me what?”
“Umm Brooks, Langley doesn’t work here anymore.”
I gaped at her. “She doesn’t?”
Baby and the Biker: The Ghost Riders MC Page 21
