“Everything is fine. My mom is doing better and the doctor says she is recovering.”
“So why the sad face?”
“It’s because of Langley. It feels like a stranger wrote this letter. To be honest, I have no idea what I’ve expected since all her letters are more or less the same. I guess I hoped for this letter to be different.”
“What do you mean the same?”
“She’s distant, man. She doesn’t tell me anything about herself or how she feels. All I keep hearing about is my mother and her treatments, and while I’m happy to hear about my mother, I want to hear about Langley too. I want to know if she’s alright.”
“Shit. It doesn’t sound good.”
“Yeah.”
“Since you obviously don’t want to look for another chick”—I rolled my eyes at that—“Then maybe you two can talk it out when you come back. You can tell her how you feel about her and all that sentimental crap.”
I sneered at him, even though I wasn’t offended at all. “Fuck you.”
He winked at me. “I love you too.”
“The point is, I don’t think she’ll get over everything that easily. I screwed up when I told her I was leaving, and now I feel like we’re more separated from each other than ever. I hoped she would change her mind and try to see things from my perspective, but I’ve obviously hurt her a lot.”
“Well, man, I have to tell you, she isn’t completely wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I understand her too. Imagine this—you’re in love with a person and don’t want them to go away, especially if that means risking their life. But that person goes away anyway without even taking that person’s feelings into consideration. Anyone would feel unloved and betrayed. So what is the point in staying with that person if they can leave again whenever they want? So, her trust in you is fragile or maybe even non-existent at the moment.”
His words had a bigger impact on me than he might know. “Since when did you become a philosopher?” I downplayed.
“Someone has to do it.” He grinned at me. “But I was right, no? You know I am. I know it was all for your mother and you had no other way, but put yourself in her shoes.”
Yes, he was damn right, and even though this was the only way for me to support my mother, now, after everything, I wondered if I could have done something to make this work. If I listened to her and let her help me, if we tried to find some other solution together… Maybe things could have been different. Maybe I wouldn’t have to sacrifice so much.
Maybe we would still be together and she wouldn’t be as reticent in her letters as she was now.
“I know. You’re right. But now I feel it’s too late. I can’t go back home anytime soon, which only makes things worse. I can’t hope for her to wait for me. In fact, what if she’s already moved on? What if she’s already found someone else?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “That’s a possibility too.”
Just like that, an acid feeling filled me, and I curled my hands into fists. I didn’t want her with some other guy. God help me, I wanted her all for myself. Just thinking about her being with someone else made me jealous beyond reason, and the worst part? The worst part was that I couldn’t do anything about it.
“I fucked up, and I guess it’s too late for me to do something about it.”
Topher didn’t say anything to that, shrugging his shoulders once more, which spoke more than anything he could actually say.
Chapter Nine
Langley
For the first time after many days my step was lighter and I could fully focus on the future. A bittersweet feeling washed over me when I reached the mailbox. This would be it. After this letter, there would be no more letters to Brooks and I would be able to move on.
I put my letter into the mailbox, and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Mary had found out today that her cancer was officially in remission.
I smiled when I recollected the moment she told me this.
I entered her house with a bouquet of flowers and got greeted by a smiling Mary. Her green eyes, which reminded me so much of Brooks’s, were unusually bright and her smile was as big as it could get.
“Mary? What’s going on?”
“I just came back from my doctor. He told me some great news!”
My pulse sped up in expectation. “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
“My cancer is in complete remission! He said that if it remains in remission for five years or more, it could mean it was cured!”
“Really?! Oh my God, that’s amazing, Mary!” I rushed to hug her, happy that she was able to pull through and have the chance at a new life. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I’m feeling much better so I may be able to find a job soon.”
“We need to celebrate,” I told her, putting the flowers into the vase for her. “This deserves a toast!”
“Absolutely. I’ll make some dinner and call Kelly to come too. She would be so happy to hear this.” Her face softened, her eyes glazing. “Ah, Brooks will be so relieved. He was worried for me so much, but now he doesn’t have to worry anymore.”
“I will write him a letter today and inform him about this.”
“Thank you, Langley.” She caught my hands and smiled at me. “You’ve helped me more than you can imagine.”
“It’s nothing—”
“No, it means a lot. You’ve always been positive, and this helped me go through my dark periods. You helped me feel less lonely when Brooks joined the marines.” She sighed, something gloomy clouding her expression. “I just wish Brooks and you were still together.”
I turned rigid, wishing she wouldn’t talk about this subject. “Mary—”
“I know you don’t want me to say this, but I think Brooks and you should clear up your misunderstandings and try again. You’re too perfect together to separate like this. You love each other, so you shouldn’t separate.” Her grip became stronger. Her pleading gaze increased my discomfort big time. “Please, think about it.”
There was nothing to think about because I couldn’t get over what Brooks did just like that. I still couldn’t get over the feeling of not being important enough to him. I had to continue on my own and see where life would lead me.
“Mary, I understand how you feel, but I won’t be coming back to Brooks. I’m sorry, but I feel it’s better this way, so after today, there is no need for Brooks and me to stay in contact.”
I could see this pained her a lot, but I had to stay true to my feelings. “I’ll stay in contact with you, of course.”
“Why does that sound like you will be going away? Are you going away?”
I came back to the present moment, staring at the mailbox. Now that I didn’t have to take care of her anymore, I could finally close that chapter in my life. I had kept my promise to Brooks to watch out for his mom, and now she was healthy. As much as I would miss her, I couldn’t stay next to her.
Maybe I could move to some other place and pursue my career there. That way I wouldn’t have to see Brooks when he came back. That way it would be easier for me to accept that I had lost Brooks forever and stay true to my decision. Time and space could cure all pain. I had to believe in it.
Too easily, tears appeared and blurred my vision. As much as I assured myself leaving Brooks for good was the right thing to do, it hurt so much. Just a few months ago I believed we would stay together no matter what, able to conquer life’s obstacles with him next to me, but life was anything but predictable. The sheer irony didn’t fail to amaze me.
In the letter I had just dropped into the mailbox I told Brooks goodbye for good. It was liberating, but at the same I felt like a piece of me had died, and I had no idea how I was going to be able to join Mary for dinner tonight and celebrate when I just wanted to crawl into my bed and stay there for days.
There was no going back. I would have to survive. I lost Brooks, but maybe it was for the best.
Cha
pter Ten
Brooks
I rang the bell with the impatience that was unlike anything I had felt before. I needed her more than my next breath. I needed her more than anything. So when she finally opened the door, I grabbed her and smashed my lips against hers, each inch of me tense with need to possess her.
I slammed the door behind me and pressed her against me, letting my hands roam all over her. She was wearing only a summer dress that left little to imagination. It clung to her skin all too tight, allowing me to feel her curves as if I was touching them directly. I lowered my head and sucked her nipple into my mouth over the thin material of her dress, grateful that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Langley and no underwear were the best combination.
The dress was off her in seconds, and then I pushed her against the floor, rushing to cover her with my body.
“Langley, I need you so much. Only you. I’ve been dying to have you.”
She grasped my head and arched her back when I started kissing her neck, pressing her sexy, soft body against mine. “I missed you so much. Make love to me.”
“Always, babe. Always.”
My hands became restless, exploring each part of her naked body. My lips followed my hands, showing her exactly how much I loved her. She was trembling underneath me, her breathy moans making my blood boil. Fuck. I felt like my dick would explode if I didn’t get inside of her quickly.
But as much as I wanted to be in her, I needed to make her come first. I didn’t know if she was aware of it, but she was fucking beautiful each time she came, and it was a sight that couldn’t be compared to anything. And it was the sight only I would get to see.
I separated her legs and lowered my head to her pretty little pussy, which was glistening with her juices. I loved how easily I could make her all wet for me.
I licked her puffy lips on my way to her clit, picking up some of her juices. “Mmm, you taste and smell so good.”
Her moan made my cock even harder. I sucked her clit into my mouth and ground my face against her heated skin, growing dizzy with desire. She got wetter with each passing second, her trembling growing stronger…
She orgasmed with a scream, thrashing against my face. She was too fucking perfect. I could barely breathe, but that only turned me on more, and I moved too quickly for me to comprehend. I didn’t remember when I removed all my clothes, but all it took was a few moments for me to thrust into her. I placed her legs over my shoulders, entering her at a deeper angle.
“Brooks! Oh God… So deep!”
“Yes.” I grabbed her tits and began pounding her, my heart beating like crazy in my chest.
She dug her nails into my shoulders, her face twisted in pure pleasure with each powerful thrust. She was like a drug to me, and the more I remained inside of her, the more I wanted to stay there and never get out. I fucked her like I was chasing something—something I was missing with each fiber of my being, and it felt like my heart was going to burst with emotions.
I loved her so much, yet she felt like she was far away from me. I couldn’t look away from her face, addicted to the sensations she created in me, and I kept chasing that something, plunging into her again and again… Langley…
“Brooks, wake up.”
Her image began dissipating, and panic surged in me. No. Langley…
“Man, wake up.”
Someone shook me, and I woke up with a start, too confused to understand where I was at first. Langley…
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty. You finally woke up.”
I blinked a few more times to clear my vision and found Topher next to me. “What’s going on?”
“You’ve got mail,” the mailman told me from the door.
I shifted on my bed, hoping my erection wasn’t visible. Did I moan or something in my sleep?
I looked between Topher and the mailman, but their faces told me they had no idea that I had almost had a wet dream. My dick was still pulsating, but I wasn’t as close as I was before my dream was interrupted.
I adjusted myself, grateful for the large pants that concealed my hard-on, and stood up to take the letter from the mailman.
“It’s from Langley, right?” Topher said when the mailman left.
I sat down on the chair and grinned at him. “Yep.”
I was excited to see a letter from her. I received her last letter a long time ago, and I missed her so much that it was unbearable. I kept dreaming about having sex with her, helpless because I couldn’t do anything to see her and hold her in my arms. I was going crazy with emotions, unable to stop thinking about all those years we had spent together. So many moments I would cherish forever.
My breathing was ragged when I opened the letter and started reading, too hungry for her words to even care that Topher was watching me with his never-ending curiosity.
“Hello, Brooks.
It’s been a while since I’ve last sent you a letter. I hope you’re fine and taking care of yourself. Today I have great news for you.
Mary’s cancer is in remission. Her doctor told her so today, and if everything goes well, in five years she may be completely cured. Mary is so happy, and it’s relieving to see her like this. After so many days, she’s finally able to lead a normal life. She started gardening again a few days ago, and she’s more active than usual, which is amazing.
So, you don’t have to worry about her, because she will be fine. I’m positive that her cancer won’t come back. Mary is a true fighter, who is able to withstand everything, and I believe she is able to deal with anything that comes her way.
That being said, this means my promise to take care of her for you ends here. I won’t be writing to you anymore, so this is my last letter to you, Brooks. This is my goodbye. Don’t look for me or call me, because our past is in the past. I’m moving on with my life, and I truly wish you to do the same.
Stay safe.
All the best,
Langley.”
The first several minutes I didn’t move from my spot, staring at her name at the end of the letter. I was having mixed emotions, and I had no idea what to make of this.
I was so thankful and happy that my mom was going to okay. That all of this had paid off. After so many days and moments of doubt and fear, I finally heard that my mom was okay, and the feeling was priceless. My mom deserved happiness more than anything, and knowing I was able to help her by joining the marines made my decision much more justified. My sacrifice wasn’t in vain.
But at the same time I was sad that by doing this I had lost the love of my life.
Breathing became painful, and the joy and relief gave place to the storm that began raging in me, and it was crushing me.
All this time I had hoped for Langley to change her mind. I had hoped for this letter to give me the words I wanted to hear from her. Instead, this was her last letter. This was the end.
“Hey, man.” I raised my head to meet Topher’s stare, who was now sitting across from me. Tears stung my eyes, and I took a deep breath to compose myself. “Bad news?”
I closed my eyes, fighting against my tears. Langley had been the girl I had planned to spend my whole life with, but I lost her for good. I lost her so easily.
“My mother’s cancer is in remission.”
“Whoa, man! That’s fantastic!”
“Yeah.”
“Then what’s the problem? That’s something to celebrate, but you’re here making faces as if someone died.”
“It’s over,” I said in a voice I didn’t recognize.
“What’s over?”
I opened my eyes to look at him. “Langley and I. It’s the end. She wrote it in this letter. She said that her promise to me to take care of my mother ends now since she’s recovered, and she’s moving on with her life.”
“Shit. I’m so sorry.” I didn’t answer. I couldn’t, because my throat was clogged up and each breath hurt. “But maybe that’s a good thing. Now you’ll be able to move on too. You need that, man. You need to forget her and start over.�
��
I clutched the letter in my hand so hard that the paper crumbled under my grip. I felt cold and empty inside, finding it impossible to forget her. She was like a drug, always in my system, creating cravings only she could satisfy, and I was addicted. I had no clue how I was going to move on. Maybe only time would tell.
Chapter Eleven
Langley
Three years later
“Langley, have you analyzed those accounts we talked about this morning?” Larry, my boss asked me.
“I just finished it. I’m going to prepare the documents for you right away.”
“Good. Our client needs this information pronto. They have been bugging me to get it done since Wednesday.”
“The documents will be on your desk in an hour.”
“And what about those numbers we discussed?”
“I’m compiling the report. I will finish them tomorrow. Also, one of my clients had a problem with his tax return, so I suggest you take a look at it. The numbers didn’t match. I made a double check, but I want you to check it too just in case.”
“Send them to me by email and I’ll take a look at them.”
“Sure. Thanks. Anything else?”
“That would be all.”
“Call me if you need me.”
I walked out of my boss’s office with a stack of documents in my hands, making a mental note to go over them as soon as I delivered the information he asked for.
I strode through the busy office, a wave of self-pride permeating me at the sight of my coworkers. The atmosphere motivated me to work harder.
I was happy here. This was exactly where I was always supposed to be.
I had graduated college, passing all my exams with flying colors, and moved out of my hometown. At first, it was difficult to get used to the change, especially because I was all alone and I missed Mary a lot, but it became easier in time. I adjusted to the change and started searching for local firms that had the best internship offers.
Baby and the Biker: The Ghost Riders MC Page 20
