I bite down on my lip and come to the realization that there’s no way I can ask him to stop. I want him, every single bit of what he has to offer. He’s a distraction from my terrible life, and like it or not, I need him.
“Then why don’t you get back down there and do it again.”
He snarls. “My pleasure.” He starts, only to stop and say one more thing. “Don’t fall asleep on me. The best is yet to come, beautiful,” he whispers while dragging his lips over my wet pussy until I crumble again.
The next time Josh’s body slips up, he’s shoving his boxers off his legs. I place both hands on either side of his face and pull him into a kiss, while he focuses on being inside of me. He’s slow, steady watching me as he fills my tight walls. I hold my breath until he’s as far as it can go, then exhale before his lips crash over mine again.
Josh is a great kisser. His tongue is always soft and slow. After a few minutes he flips us around so that I’m able to ride him. I sit up straight and catch him taking me in. My long blonde hair falls down covering my breasts, so he shoves it off each shoulder for a better view. I bring his hands up so they’re cupping my nipples as I begin rocking back and forth. I start with a good rhythm, but immediately begin to feel another orgasm hitting me, so I go with it. He’s helping me go faster by grabbing onto my hips. I’m grinding against him, skin on skin, feeling my own release trickling down as we go at it. My cries are matched by his own moans. Sweat begins to form over my skin, as well as his. I’m determined to keep at it, no matter if my thighs ache and I’m panting for a break. Josh cups my ass cheeks. I can feel his fingernails digging into my skin, and can tell from the look on his face that he’s about to explode. In that instant I’m caught off guard by another bout of my own ecstasy. I’m whimpering against his chest when he kisses me on top of my head. “You okay?” His fingers tickle my back when he continues. “With this, I mean?”
I close my eyes, refusing to come down from the high to consider this could be a terrible idea. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“Good. Get some sleep, beautiful.”
“What about you?” I manage to ask.
“You helped.”
It’s nice to feel like I’ve done something right for a change, especially when I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what I did to warrant my boyfriend to cheat on me.
A rumbling snore awakens me. My cheek is stuck to his chest as I attempt to sit up. Suddenly realizing where I am, and who I’m lying on top of, I smile. It only takes me a few seconds to realize he’s still inside of me, semi-erect. The thought of it sends quakes to the inner walls of my channel, causing me to slowly start moving again. I brush my lips over his, feeling him stir as I do it. His eyes flicker open, a smile forming across his handsome face. “Well hello to you too.”
I keep moving, sitting up with my back sort of arched to give him a better angle to watch. He puts one arm behind his back and lets me do all the work this time. I sway my hips around, dually pleasuring us both simultaneously. He’s groaning and focused, but stops me abruptly. “Flip over.”
“Huh?” I wonder if I’m boring him.
“My turn.” He slaps on my ass and helps me get into the new position, with my butt in the air and my face against the mattress. He wastes no time entering me while he teases my rear entrance with his thumb. I’m crying out against the white sheets when I feel the pressure of it penetrating my hole. My pussy quakes as waves of delightful bliss rip through my core, continuously while he pumps into me again and again.
A little later we’re famished. I have no idea of the time, and I don’t care. That’s how being with Josh is. If I could live like this every day there would be no need for coping with the loss of my previous relationship, yet I know this isn’t the answer. It’s a temporary solution, and just like every good thing in the world, it won’t last.
Josh and I adjust in the bed.
He suggests we order a pizza. He even goes down to the lobby to meet the delivery man and pay for it. While he’s gone, I hurry into the bathroom and quickly shower, cleaning every orifice the best I’m able to. When he returns, he sees what I’ve done and shakes his head. “I would have been up for a shower if you’d only asked.”
“Sorry. I wanted to freshen up, in case you wanted to, well you know.”
He tosses the pizza box on the bed and takes my hand. “I think you’re starting to like me, Tamsyn. It’s a terrible idea.” When he says it he looks away, as if he can’t stand to see the look of disappointment in my eyes.
I challenge him. “What are you afraid of, Josh? Does it bother you that you came to me this time?”
“It’s not that. You’re the type of woman who expects more than I’m capable of giving.”
“I’m not looking for a relationship. You’re the one who wanted to see me again.”
“True.” He finally looks at me again, those green eyes making me wish I wasn’t standing in a towel wondering if this is the end of our encounter.
“I played hard to get because the idea of wanting another man terrified me. I wasn’t looking for whatever this is, but I also never thought I’d sleep with someone I barely knew. You’re here. You came to me. I obviously have something you want. Maybe I’m selfish for using you to deal with what I’m going through. Maybe you’re using me to fill some sexual void. I don’t care.” I feel empowered, as if this epiphany has provided me with the power to overcome any obstacle standing in my way of happiness.
Josh sighs. He pulls me closer and leans forward to kiss my awaiting lips. “I don’t have a sexual void.”
My brow raises. “Oh really? Do you have an entourage of women at your beck and call?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
This surprises me. “Are you lying to me?”
He repeats the same process, his head moving from side to side, with the same response. “No.”
I swallow a lump in my throat and ask what’s on my mind. “When is the last time you were intimate with another woman?”
“Months.” He snickers. “You done?”
“Are you clean? We’ve obviously been having unprotected sex. It’s partly my fault, because I let it happen. I just don’t want to wake up with herpes or worse.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I’m usually pretty careful.”
“Why me then?”
Josh shrugs. “I didn’t expect it to happen last night. You were a fucking mess. I got carried away.”
“And now?”
He brushes my hair behind my ear on one side. “I’m selfish for coming here. I know that.”
“I’m glad you came.”
He motions toward the bed. “Get back in bed and prove it.”
The towel drops, leaving me completely naked and vulnerable. He crouches down and plants a soft kiss on the skin of my pussy. “Maybe I don’t like leaving things unfinished.”
He backs me up on the bed and immediately joins me. We wrestle around, until we’re mangled in between the sheets and each other. When it’s quiet again I ask one final question so I know where we stand. “What happens when you finish? Is this over? Will I just be another notch in your bedpost?”
He counters with a reply I’d never expect. “There’s a possibility it might never happen. We’ll just have to keep spending time together until we can figure it all out. Do you have a problem with that?”
I shake my head. “I should, but I don’t.”
He takes my hand and kisses it. “I’d like this to continue, Tamsyn.”
“This could be bad for both of us.”
“Yeah, well nothing good ever comes easy.”
“So, we’re going to do this, you and me?” I’m giddy talking about it, not the way a woman should feel after breaking up with someone she thought she loved.
“Sure.” He seems confident.
“I have nothing left to lose, so give it your best shot.”
We face one another and talk for hours about life. I tell him about Shaun and everything we
’d been through, the good and bad. He talks about being in love once, but how she didn’t feel the same way toward him. I think it was Livvy, but I’m too afraid to ask. I’d rather not know than worry if he compares every other woman to her. Since she’s always been beautiful and independent, I’m threatened by her. I can remember wishing I had her life instead of my boring middle class parents. Knowing she’s been with Josh only makes it harder to digest. I’ve always been a little jealous, not like the stalker type, but worried about other women wanting the men I’m involved with. Joshua Healy is the type of man who could have anyone he wanted. Women have probably thrown themselves at him and his cousins. Far be it from me to assume I’m the only person he’s currently seeing, even if he says it’s true. I have to go into this with one eye open, because if I don’t I’m afraid I could lose myself in him.
Chapter 9
Joshua
If Liv can walk away from what we had and marry someone else, I need to reevaluate everything I’ve ever believed to be true.
She never loved me.
It’s a hard blow for anyone with feelings to endure, but especially difficult for me, because she’s the only person I’ve ever had that type of connection with. It’s mostly my fault. I’ve never given another woman a chance.
After leaving Wes and Cammie’s house, my mind is all over the place, but there was one constant that kept me feeling as if it was time to throw in the towel and start over fresh. I can’t dwell on what will never be, but I can find someone else that enjoys my company as much as I enjoy hers.
I didn’t expect much when I picked Tamsyn up from the dealership. She was a blubbering mess, with her mind set on getting sloppy drunk until she couldn’t think about her problems. Not only did I successfully help her achieve those goals, but I somehow fell victim to my own desires.
In some perverse way, I think Tamsyn represents a part of Liv I always wanted to hold on to. She knew her when we first started whatever it was between us. It's sick. I don't want the reminders, in fact I'd prefer it if I could forget they ever happened and focus solely on this beautiful woman in front of me. She's extremely my type; attractive, outgoing, thoughtful, and straight forward. She's a victim of her own heart, which is something else we have is common. Wanting her is dangerous, but I know if I stop for a second I'll be forced to walk away, because it's what I've always done. For some reason this time feels different. When we part I have the urge to run right back. As she stares into my eyes I'm getting lost in the moment, forgetting the real purpose that I've sought her out.
I don't have to pretend with her. She doesn't expect me to live up to some false image because of who my family is. She's not out to change me, or tell me I'll never be good enough. I realize it's new and things could change, but for the time being I'm content, and that says a lot. I'm never comfortable like this. Sure, I wanted to fuck her from the moment I first set eyes on her, but now that it's happened, I can't find a reason good enough to stay away.
Neither of us get much sleep. In the morning, Tamsyn checks out of the hotel room, and I treat her to a pancake breakfast at a local restaurant before she needs to head to class, while I have to show up for work on the ranch. I’ve already gotten a few calls wondering where I’ve been, not that I’m worried about it. It’s not like they can fire me. My mom wouldn’t have it. She’d raise hell to my father and I’d be back in the fields after several days. I know this, because it’s happened a couple of times before. I suppose it’s to teach me a lesson, not that it has.
At breakfast, I sit across from a gorgeous blonde I want to know better. We talked for hours, which is something I’m not used to doing, with anyone, much less a women. She’s interesting, and aside from her recent breakup, she’s pretty damn fun. We like the same music, and when I heard she’s into video gaming I swear my dick got hard. Every once in a while we catch gazes and all I can think about is her being naked in my arms.
I actually like this girl. What started as some kind of ridiculous conquest could turn into something neither of us expected and it excites me, especially when there is nothing left to fall back on. Liv isn’t going to show up and give me more false hope. That part of my life is over, and like my parents have been telling me for years, it’s time to grow up and take responsibility of my life. I can’t depend on other people to be happy, or find some sort of independence. I don’t know where this relationship will go, but I’m willing to give it a try if she is. Knowing we’re both in a bad place, it worries me, though I’ve never done anything by the rules, so why start now?
It’s a little discouraging when we stand next to our two vehicles in the parking lot of the diner and have to say goodbye.
I run my hand through her wavy blonde locks as I speak. “What are you doing this weekend?”
She shrugs. “My schedule is open. I mean, I probably have to work for a bit on Saturday at the dealership, but afterwards I’m available.”
“I’d like to take you out if that’s okay with you.”
“It’s okay with me, Josh.”
I kiss her on the forehead and close my eyes as I do it, holding my lips there for an extended amount of time.
Her arms come around to my back and hold me near. We remain this way for quite some time, neither of us speaking. Then I back away so I can look into her fearful eyes. “If for some reason you change your mind, at least shoot me a text. I can handle rejection much better from afar.”
She manages to smile. “Should we call each other tonight, or did you want to just wait to speak again this weekend?”
I take her by the chin and plant a much needed kiss on those pouty lips. “I’ll call you tonight.”
I start walking to my truck when I hear her call my name. “Josh…”
I turn and see her standing in the same position as before. “You will call me, right? I mean, this isn’t goodbye?” She shakes her head. “Sorry. This is so new to me. I’m not really sure how to date, if that’s what you’d call this.”
I don’t move closer when I reply. “Is that what you want to call it?”
“Is it too soon?” She asks.
“Would you rather say we’re fucking?” I announce while a guy our age is walking by.
She covers her mouth with one hand. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“Ashamed of me?”
She hurries toward me, getting on her tippy toes to be able to kiss me on the cheek. “Overwhelmed is more like it.”
“I’m like a storm. I come rolling in with little warning, and when I’m done there’s usually a mess to clean up. You may want to take that warning and run while you still have the chance.”
“It’s my decision to make.”
“That it is, beautiful.”
“I’ll text you my gaming name tonight. Maybe you can hit me up on Xbox.”
“Damn, hook, line and sinker, woman.”
She’s laughing when she climbs into her car. I wait for her to back up before proceeding to mine, waving as I watch her driving away.
I catch hell back at the ranch. We’re tilling the field to plant winter wheat, so thankfully I hop on a machine to drown out the wise cracks for a while. My father, Uncle Ty, and cousins, Jake and Jax already know I’m involved with someone new. The twins have done a bang up job spreading the word throughout the family. I’ve even gotten text messages from my other two sisters, Callie and Cassie. They’re all the same.
Be nice to this one.
Don’t screw this up.
When can we meet her?
After my work is done, I head to my mom’s hair salon to get a trim. I can already tell she and my aunt are ready to gossip.
I sit in her chair and wait in anticipation, because unlike the other women I’ve involved myself with, she’s an exception.
“Where did you stay last night?” My mom asks while messing with the top of my head.
“I was out with someone. I thought once I hit my twenties I could come and go as I please.”
“We’d stil
l like to know what you’re doing. I’ll never stop worrying.”
“I’m seeing this new girl.”
“The one from the dealership?” My Aunt Miranda inquires from across the room.
“You must have seen one of the twins if you know about that. They’ve got big mouths, and Wes never should have told everyone about it.”
“Your Uncle Ty told me about it last night.”
“Is it serious?” My mom interrupts.
I keep my head still while responding. “I only just met her a couple days ago.”
“You should bring her to Sunday dinner,” Aunt Miranda suggests.
“Yeah, maybe.”
My mom is shocked. “It would be great, especially if you plan on bringing her around the ranch again. We don’t have secrets here, son.”
“So I’ve gathered.”
Then I’m bombarded with questions.
What does she do for a living?
Who are her parents?
Have I met them?
Am I seeing her tonight?
Does she know about my track record?
Is something wrong with her?
Am I ready to settle down?
I’m drained when I leave the salon, but optimistic when a text comes through my phone. It’s from Tamsyn and I recognize it as her gamer name. The message says nothing else so I don’t respond. I know where to find her.
After a hot shower, I grab something to eat and head to my room. I should probably tidy up, but I’m too focused on seeing if Tamsyn is online to worry about the petty shit. It takes me a few minutes to plug in her information, and I’m disappointed when she’s not online, so I shoot her a message.
You playing? – Josh
Still setting everything up in my new dorm room. Oh yeah, I’ll tell you about it in a second. Give me five. – Tamsyn
Joshua Healy (Mitchell Healy Book 10) Page 6
