Julia's Chocolates

by Cathy Lamb

  “You young women don’t know how to feel your feminine juices any more,” Aunt Lydia said, wiggling her fingers. “This culture, this fast and stupid culture, that judges people on their net worth not their net character has beat it right out of you.”

  “What should my feminine juices be saying to me?” Lara asked.

  “Your feminine juices are saying this.” Aunt Lydia took Lara’s hands. “Grab the love.”

  “Grab the love?”

  “Yes, dear.” Aunt Lydia’s face softened. “Grab the love. Hold on tight. Treasure it. Put that love you have for your husband first, arrange everything else around it, and all else will work out. Love must be cradled and nurtured and enjoyed and danced with. Never, ever, forget the love. It’s why we want to live.”

  Lara nodded. She left five minutes later.

  Epilogue

  Six months later

  Sometimes, somehow, real life works out. If only for a few months, a few weeks, a few days, a few moments, life is sweet.

  And, that’s how it became for me.

  It looked like Aunt Lydia had conquered Roaring Radiation, Creepy Chemo, and Cancer. Stash insisted they have almost no engagement time, so the two were married in his barn. All the Psychic Night women were attendants, and everyone in town received an invitation. Lydia wore a bright purple dress and a red hat. Stash wore a tux. Shawn was the ring bearer, Carrie Lynn the flower girl.

  When Jerry finished leading them in their vows, Stash cried, picked Aunt Lydia up, and swung her around. He kissed her, kissed her again, kissed her once more, and Jerry had to break those two up before things got R-rated up there.

  Lara and Jerry were back together. Three months earlier, she had had an art show inside the church, and it had been jammed. As she had made something of herself in New York, the state paper did an article on the show, and a lot of people from Portland had come down for it. Every painting sold out. Jerry was the proudest-looking husband I have ever seen. She donated ten percent of the sales to the church.

  Lara had made other changes in their lives, which Jerry seemed perfectly happy to accept. During the day she worked on her art. She wore the clothes she wanted to wear and tossed out all her prissy sweaters. One evening a week, she ran choir practice. She made changes there, too. She taught the choir how to rock out. No more of these boring, depressing church hymns. No, Lara picked popular Christian music, recruited townspeople who knew how to play electric guitars and drums and violins and flutes, gave a few people with excellent throat pipes solos, and that church rocked every Sunday. They had to add another service.

  The only person who grumbled was Linda Miller. She took her complaints to one women’s group after another in the church, but no one listened to her. Jerry eventually heard about it, told Linda he didn’t think the church was a good fit for her, and suggested she leave.

  She was flabbergasted, shocked. More shocked when she told other people what that young uppity minister had told her and the only response she got from them was that they thought she should leave, too.

  So Linda Miller left. And soon Lara heard from people at the church in another town what a pain in the ass Linda was and would Jerry and Lara take her back?

  Lara had made her peace, and she was finally happy.

  Katie lost about forty pounds and had never felt better. She was in love with Scrambler, and he with her. Despite what she’d said earlier about not needing to hear the words “I love you” from a man, she told me she loved hearing Scrambler say it. “It’s like verbal sex to me, Julia.”

  Almost as exciting, Katie’s book sold to a major publisher. One of her characters was a real-life abusive, alcoholic jerk who happened to say and do exactly what J.D. used to say and do and who just happened to get shot in the groin by the end of the book and lost both balls.

  When the news trucks left and Golden returned to normal, Caroline returned from her family’s island. She told me later that since our last Psychic Night meeting, before Robert had tried to rearrange my face, she had spent a lot of time in the yoga position with burning candles surrounding her, waiting to hear my cry of help. In the process, she had heard the cries for help from hundreds of other people, whose locations she couldn’t ascertain, and whose misery almost sent her over the edge.

  But finally my cry for help had penetrated. She told me the cry had been very distant, very faint, but she had recognized my voice and had raced to Aunt Lydia’s house.

  She had saved me from being raped, maybe killed.

  As Chief Sandstrom was in charge of the criminal proceedings and had no intention of letting his prisoner off at all, justice proceeded quickly, and Robert became a guest of the Oregon State Prison system. I learned later he was a poor prisoner and roomed in an isolation cell for much of the time he was incarcerated.

  Not even Mommy and Daddy could buy him out that time.

  Dean, Stash, Aunt Lydia, Katie, Scrambler, Caroline, Lara, Jerry, and I ended up spending quite a bit of time with Martin and Shirley Caruthers when they came to visit Caroline after her island break. It was Martin and Shirley Caruthers who Caroline had seen on the cover of the magazine in the supermarket.

  It was odd at first to be hanging around with people who landed on the covers of magazines, but we found the Carutherses to be lovely people who adored their daughter but couldn’t figure her out. Both Martin and Shirley had grown up dirt-poor. They met in sixth grade and married when they were eighteen. They didn’t have a dime. But Shirley understood computers, and Martin understood finance, and together they built a company.

  They couldn’t understand why their daughter chose a basically penniless life—a life they had worked hard to get away from. Still, they were crazy about her.

  The Carutherses hung out in Golden for two weeks. Martin liked helping out Stash on the ranch, and Shirley and Caroline helped me and Aunt Lydia with the chocolates. I tried not to let Shirley read my mind, but one day she said to me, “Don’t worry, Julia. I’m not trying to read your mind. I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that.”

  Later, as we mixed ingredients for a batch of Chocolate Nut Bars, she said, “My gift is much easier to bear than Caroline’s is, and my greatest hope is that one day she will be rid of hers. The way she knows that terrible things are going to happen, her inability to stop it, the way she feels people’s anguish, has been horrible for her.” Shirley swiped at her eye.

  Aunt Lydia looked at Shirley, her eyes narrowed, then started muttering something about cursing away Caroline’s “gift” to another universe. I knew what we would be doing at our next Psychic Night.

  We all played poker together, but at the end of their vacation in Golden, the Carutherses both refused to play with either Aunt Lydia or Stash as those two always won. I asked Shirley why she just didn’t read Stash’s mind.

  She looked aghast. “That would be cheating!”

  Olivia Cutter took my place at Story Hour, with Roxy Bell as her enthusiastic helper.

  At first, I heard, Olivia was stiff. But then Carrie Lynn and Shawn came to visit her every day during a school break, and for some weird reason that seemed to give her confidence. She was soon dressing up as a queen to read fairy tales, as a farmer to read farm stories, and she brought in firefighters and police officers to read firefighting and police stories. She also brought in other guest speakers, one of whom brought reptiles. A snake escaped and couldn’t be located for a week.

  Olivia finally found it near the romance novels.

  The reptile man, who seemed to be sweet on her, according to Roxy Bell, was invited back on a monthly basis, the whole event having been very exciting.

  Olivia was still very involved with Shawn and Carrie Lynn’s lives, coming to their school musical performances, the Open House, and any and all dinners we invited her to. She always brought everyone a book as a gift. Aunt Lydia named a beautiful red bird that she bought at the pet shop “Olivia.”

  I adopted Shawn and Carrie Lynn, to their delight and mine. About fifty of us
went to the courthouse together and then came home for a party. We tied ribbons around the necks of Alphy, Melissa Lynn, and all the piglets. We decided the chickens, now four hundred strong, looked just dandy without ribbons.

  My chocolate business was a success. I ended up renting an older building, hired a bunch of people from town who knew more about running a business than I did, and we were off and running.

  The chocolate business had an impact on the rest of the town, too. When we renovated the building, with money from Stash and Dean (which made them partners in the business), we built huge floor-to-ceiling glass windows so tourists could come and watch us make the chocolate, put it in the molds, view the conveyer belts, watch employees wrap the chocolates in the boxes, etc. Soon we had quite a good side business going. The tourists ate at the restaurants in town and spent the night to enjoy other attractions in the area.

  As for me and Dean, our wedding is a week from Sunday. As in Aunt Lydia and Stash’s wedding, Shawn is going to be the ring bearer at the wedding and Carrie Lynn the flower girl. Aunt Lydia is the matron of honor, and Caroline, Lara, and Katie are bridesmaids. Three friends of Dean’s will also be in the wedding party, as will Stash.

  Katie’s older son, Luke, assured me that for this very special occasion he will wear his three very favorite layers of clothes and his three favorite pieces of underwear which he will show me that day. Logan whispered that he would make sure his Spiderman outfit would be extra special clean for my wedding. Haley decided she would branch out and buy new antennas for her head, this time in pink to match her new pink wedding dress, and Hannah, for once, is going to wear purple instead of black.

  I am going to wear red—bright, bold, happy, freeing red. Aunt Lydia is making the wreath I will wear on my head, Caroline is making my jewelry, and Katie and Lara are in charge of the decorations in the church. Lara has promised to paint a picture of me and Dean on our wedding day.

  I looked up from my desk in The Chocolate Business, as I called it, as Aunt Lydia burst in. Her hair was about an inch long. She was wearing a bright pink T-shirt that said “I Beat Cancer” on the front and “I Am Damn Happy To Be Alive” on the back. She had one for every day of the week in a different color. Her underwear matched her shirts, and she did not hesitate to show anyone her butt who asked to see the underwear. “I don’t have time anymore to be worried about how my ass looks, thank God.”

  “Don’t be late tonight, Julia,” she said to me, raising her fists in the air. “All work and no play will make your vagina dry up and shrivel into nothing. You don’t want that. We all need to keep moist and happy vaginas. Especially with your wedding vows coming up so quick. We must keep the soul of the woman in you healthy and hopeful.”

  I nodded sagely, not caring if my employees could hear her loud, booming voice. I adored Aunt Lydia, was grateful for every single second I had with that woman, and she could say anything she damn well pleased at any time, even if she insisted on shouting it over the intercom.

  “Did you hear the name of our sacred Psychic Night?” she asked, setting a hip on my desk.

  I had named two new chocolate boxes after her. Lydia’s Chickens consisted of chocolates in the shapes of chickens, eggs, roosters, and wine bottles. Lydia’s Life had chocolates in the shapes of pigs, a rainbow bridge with colored icing, toilets with flowers flowing from the top, and a bottle of vodka. They were huge hits.

  “No, I haven’t heard yet. What’s the name of the Psychic Night tonight?”

  “Loving Your Clitoris!” She did a little twirl. “It’s Loving Your Clitoris Psychic Night. You won’t want to be late!”

  A READING GROUP GUIDE

  JULIA’S CHOCOLATES

  CATHY LAMB

  ABOUT THIS GUIDE

  The suggested questions are intended to

  enhance your group’s reading of

  Julia’s Chocolates

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  Of the five main characters—Julia Bennett, Lydia Thornburgh, Lara Keene, Katie Margold, and Caroline Harper Caruthers—to whom do you most relate? Who are you most like? Have you had any of the same problems or issues? Do you like all of the women? Why or why not?

  The women meet at Aunt Lydia’s house for Breast Power Psychic Night, Getting To Know Your Vagina Psychic Night, and Your Hormones And You: Taking Over, Taking Cover, Taking Charge. How did these evenings help Julia to heal and gain strength and self-esteem? How did they help the other women in the group? Would you feel comfortable having a Psychic Night with a group of girlfriends? Why or why not?

  What did Julia learn from Aunt Lydia, Lara, Katie, and Caroline? How did they each impact her life? How did she impact theirs? What woman has been a role model for you? Have you ever had a group of women friends who changed you? How so?

  Throughout the book we get glimpses of Julia’s lonely, abusive childhood. How did her childhood affect her adulthood? What decisions did she make that were direct results of that childhood? How did it affect her relationships with men, particularly with Robert? Do you think she will ever totally find healing in regards to her relationship with her mother?

  In the beginning of the book Julia Bennett hates her breasts. Her hatred is based in her childhood and the men that abused her under her mother’s deliberately turned eye. She calls her breasts Mammoth Melons and wants to have surgery to have them reduced. By the end of the story, has she changed her mind about her breasts? What does our culture and society say about women who have large breasts or women who use surgery to augment them?

  Discuss the way the author used religion in the book. What part did faith and church play in the book? How did it define characters? Did the author accurately portray Christians?

  Julia’s Chocolates is filled with women dealing with problems: abusive men, alcoholic husbands, meth addiction, abused children, financial problems, cancer, joblessness, cheating spouses, struggling marriages, loneliness and hopelessness, etc. And yet, the book has many humorous moments. How has the author balanced and juxtaposed one against the other? Was it effective?

  Why did the author include Shawn and Carrie Lynn? How do the children help Julia to exorcise her own childhood pains and loneliness?

  Aunt Lydia constantly proclaims that “men are pricks.” “They drive up in tractors, toss us lingerie that we’re supposed to model for them, making us feel downright cheap with our breasts yanked to our throats, then we’re to tickle their teensies and they drive off!” Does she really think this? Describe Stash and her relationship with him. Why had she chosen not to marry him?

  At the end of the book, we find that Caroline Harper Caruthers has rejected all trappings of wealth. Why would she do this? Why do you think she prefers solitude and country living? How has being a psychic affected her life? How has it affected her emotional health? Would being a psychic be illuminating and life-enhancing or a terrible burden? Why?

  Lara Keene leaves her husband because she needs to find herself. She says, “I can’t live like this. I’m trapped. Every day I feel like I’m acting the part of someone I’m not.” Has Lara chosen to act the part of someone else or was she forced into the part? Can you relate to this statement? Why precisely is Lara unhappy?

  Lara says that her husband, Jerry, “…loves who he thinks I am, who he wants me to be! And I’m not that person. I can’t be that person anymore, I just can’t.” Is she right? Did Lara’s husband, Jerry, love Lara for herself? Or did he love her for who he thought her to be? How did their relationship change from the beginning of the book to the end? Do you think they have a future together or will Lara leave again?

  Katie Margolin stayed with her husband, despite his abuse and his alcoholism. Why did she stay? How did her husband’s abuse trap her in that situation? Was she right to stay, especially when her husband’s abuse hurt the children, too? Did she stay only for the children or were there other reasons? What was the catalyst for her leaving? Do you respect Katie for staying in her marriage or not?

  Julia knows from the begin
ning that Robert will come after her in Oregon and that her physical and emotional health, perhaps her very life, is endangered. Yet Julia does not leave Golden, Oregon. Why does she stay? Why doesn’t she run again?

  In many ways, this book is about courage and triumph. How did Julia, Aunt Lydia, Lara, Katie, and Caroline show courage? What did they each need to triumph over in their lives? Did they succeed? How did they change from the beginning of the book to the end, or did they? What situation in your life challenged you most? Can you relate that situation to any the characters endured?

  Where do you see Julia Bennett, Aunt Lydia Thornburgh, Caroline Harper Caruthers, Lara Keene, and Katie Margold in ten years?

  KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by

  Kensington Publishing Corp.

  850 Third Avenue

  New York, NY 10022

  Copyright © 2007 by Cathy Lamb

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

  Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

  ISBN: 978-0-7582-7509-7