You Belong With Me...?

by O. Fletcher, TIM

  I laughed, I’m pretty sure she’s not meant to say things like that but I appreciated it nonetheless.

  I bid her farewell and slinked out of her office just before the warning bell rang. I munched on my sandwich as I walked to my last class of the day.

  After talking to Mrs. Lake I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Instead of paying attention in History I was planning my ‘push’ for Brad. I would need Jen for my little scheme to take place.

  I discretely texted her asking her to meet me at the library after school. She agreed and I went about fine-tuning the details of ‘Operation Push’ as I had covertly named it.

  When the end-of-day bell rang I was a little anxious. For Operation Push to work, I’d have to tell Jen everything and although I knew she had no problem with the gay thing she may have a problem with me keeping all my secrets from her.

  I walked quickly to the library, found a discrete table and waited for my quiet friend to find me. Ten minutes later she sat herself down beside me, startling me for a moment. That girl could be a very good spy.

  “Hey Jen,” I started apprehensively.

  “Out with it Tyler, I know something’s been up with you lately so don’t shy away now.”

  And so I did. I told her everything, including the details of Operation Push. After I’d finished my tale she sat perfectly still and perfectly quiet at the table. Her stone-like demeanor was worrying.

  “Okay.” That was all she said.

  “Okay?” I quizzed,

  “I’ll help you.”

  I hugged her, “Thank you so much!”

  After thanking her again a few more times and answering a few of her more, ah invasive questions (she wanted to see the video of Brad, I refused absolutely so then she asked for details about his body…which I obliged her.) we got down to planning both our parts in Operation Push. By the time the library shut at five o’clock we were ready. We had also agreed to meet again Thursday afternoon to go over the plan again and I honestly felt we were better friends now that I had included her in both my problems and my espionage.

  On my way home I noted to myself that I was no longer angry or disappointed with Brad. The things Mrs. Lake had said to me made sense, especially knowing the details of his relationship with Frank Stevenson. I understood why he was afraid and why he needed an attractive beard, his father after all was a very powerful man and I doubted that he’d want it known he had a queer son.

  I knew I had to get Brad to trust me again before I put Operation Push into action so I decided to swallow my pride and start talking to him, through our favorite form of communication. From the time I came home I stayed at my window, waiting for his light to come on. It took a while but when light filled the room opposite I grabbed my binoculars and was about to try and grab his attention when I noticed he was sitting in his bay window again, crying. I could see the outline of his precious body quivering with sobs and it broke my heart to see him sitting there alone and sad. Through my spyglasses I saw a finger pull one of the blinds down and an eye have a peak out the window. I had no idea how Brad was feeling towards me at the moment, whether he hated me, or blamed me or felt something completely different I had no idea.

  A few moments later the blinds came up and Brad sat next to his window binoculars, notepad and black marker in hand.

  Well on the up side, unless he was going to tell me to fuck off, he didn't still hate me.

  I quickly scribbled a note and held it up.

  ‘I HATE IT WHEN UR SAD :(‘

  I could see his chest deflate in a sigh, then he replied:

  ‘I HATE BEING SAD.’

  Me too, friend, me too.

  ‘WHATS WRONG?’

  I saw him thinking about what to say in reply.

  ‘PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING.’

  ‘NETHING 2 DO W/ ME?’ I asked.

  He took a while to reply, first holding up: ‘OF COURSE, TYLER.’ Followed quickly by, ‘IM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT NIGHT & NXT MORNING. PLZ 4GIVE ME?’

  Watching him cry before had softened my heart considerably; I was a total sap when it came to Brad. It probably wasn't healthy.

  ‘I WONT LIE AND SAY YOU DIDN’T HURT ME. A LOT. COZ U DID. BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR P/O/V.’

  I saw him grin as he wrote:

  ‘ILL TAKE THAT AS A ‘YES’ :P’

  Cheeky son-of-a-bitch.

  ‘DAMN U! I CANT HELP THAT I HAVE A WEAK SPOT FOR U’

  He was smiling again; I was doing my job well.

  ‘YEAH, ITS IN YOUR PANTS.’

  Oh no he didn’t. He’s flirting with me!

  ‘LET ME ASSURE U. THAT IS A SPOT YOU AFFECT, BUT IT CERTAINLY ISNT WEAK.’

  I saw him laugh before his face grew grave and he looked like he was about to cry again.

  ‘WE CANT TALK LIKE THAT.’

  Huh?

  ‘WHY?’

  ‘JUST NOT A GOOD IDEA, OK?’

  Maybe he’s right, keep it friendly.

  ‘ANY XMAS PLANS?’

  I wondered how happy a Christmas a person could have when their only relative pretty much hates them.

  ‘DAD IS OVER SEAS. I’M ALL ALONE.’

  That just will not do! I want to invite him; mom would be fine with it, but if Operation Push fails I sincerely doubt he’d want to spend Christmas with me.

  I’ll extend the invitation and if things get awkward he can always just not show up

  ‘WANT 2 SPEND XMAS W ME AND MOM?’

  His face softened at the invite, I could see he was anxious about spending the holidays alone, probably not for the first time either.

  ‘ILL HAVE 2 THINK ABOUT IT. THX THO.’

  It was about 9:00pm by now; I usually tried to get to bed by ten o’clock since I like sleep so much. Time to say goodnight.

  ‘IM GONNA HEAD 2 BED. NIGHT’

  He looked kinda sad that I was going. I really just wanted to give him a hug but considering how ‘close’ we’d gotten before I suspected physical touching wouldn’t be allowed for a while.

  By ten I had had a long luxurious shower, jerked off, gotten my school stuff ready and cleaned my teeth. I was then lying in my warm bed, hot water bottle at my feet, waiting for sleep to claim me. It took a while, I tossed and turned and my thoughts kept slinking back to Brad but eventually I fell asleep.

  Tuesday and Wednesday disappeared within the blink of an eye and suddenly, it was Thursday. The day before the senior prom and the day before Operation Push went into action. As planned Jen and I met up to go over the details and decided to give each other code names. I was Cinderella (much to my chagrin); Jen was Pumpkin and Brad received the name of Prince. I certainly thought Brad’s code name was appropriate.

  That night I talked to Brad about his forthcoming Prom. He seemed like he would much rather stay home and play his PS4 than show up for it, but lucky for me and Operation Push the wicked witch of St. Helena Academy was forcing him to go.

  With our conversations I always kept it simple and completely away from the subject of our awkward relationship. We talked about school; football and what were both going to do after graduation.

  That night when I went to bed I barely got any sleep. I was nervous, I had myself so worked up over what was going down the next day that I was agonizing over every detail and thinking about all the different ways it could wrong.

  Chapter Ten

  Day of the Senior Prom

  Day of Operation Push

  I woke, dressed and went to school as though it were a normal day. I knew that I more than likely wouldn’t see Brad at school today, or any seniors for that matter, as they would either spend the day going from beauty appointment to beauty appointment (Tara) or spend a well earned day in bed before the evenings circus (Brad.)

  The actual day went quickly, I watched the clock as though it was a creature of myth and Jen and I smiled covertly at each other every time we passed in the halls. We also made sure to only call each other by our code names, we felt like spies – it was a
wesome. Other than that school was mostly average, in class the teachers didn’t make us do any work as most students had taken the day off so instead we made shitty Christmas decorations and sang carols. I was grateful for the fact that the day was relaxing because I knew, come nightfall, my heart would probably be thundering in my chest for hours.

  After school I raced home feeling both exhilarated and like I was about to shit my pants. I turned my music up loud as I started preparations for that night. I found my recently dry-cleaned outfit, my best shoes and sat them on my bed.

  I knew the Prom started at 6:30pm however, arrivals were from five o’clock so at 4:30pm I went to my window to see if I could see Brad. His blinds were open and I could see him getting ready, he had his trousers on but was still shirtless as he searched around his room for something. I waved my arms trying to get his attention, it took a while but eventually he noticed and came to his window.

  ‘U GOING 2NITE?’ He asked me.

  He really couldn’t remember that I was a grade below him, could he?

  ‘IM A JUNIOR, REMEMBER?’

  As I was expecting a look of realization crossed his face.

  ‘SORRY I ALWAYS 4GET,’ He replied before quickly scribbling another note,

  ‘I WISH U WERE GOING.'

  ‘I WILL BE NEXT YEAR :P’

  I saw him smile at that.

  ‘ID PROBABLY BETTER FINISH GETTING READY. LIMO GETS HERE AT 5.’

  ‘WELL HAVE FUN 2NIGHT!’

  He smiled and waved before letting his blinds down. I could see him standing behind them for a little longer, it looked as though he was writing in his notepad but that didn’t make any sense.

  I went to my desk and started writing a letter, part of Operation Push and folded it neatly when I was finished. I picked up my notepad, wrote one big message and left it on my bed next to the tuxedo my father wore on his wedding day.

  At 6:00pm I jumped in the shower and started my own readying process, I’d planned to get to the venue around 8 o’clock.

  I was ready at 7:30pm, just pacing nervously in the living room waiting for the taxi to show up. I had the two notes in my pocket and I could feel them with every movement, like they were trying to burn their way through my clothes.

  A few minutes passed and I heard a beep from outside, I took a deep breath in, an attempt to calm myself before locking the front door and walking briskly to the waiting cab. It was a bloody cold night and I was glad the driver had the heat blasting, as I couldn’t wear a proper coat over my tux.

  “Where to?” I was asked.

  “The town hall please.”

  The Town Hall wasn’t usually the place the senior prom was held, however, this year it seemed every decent hotel with a function room within an acceptable radius was already booked by the time the school had gotten around to organizing the event. It wasn’t a terrible choice though; the building was very old but in great condition. The exterior had the look of a small castle, complete with bell tower and the interior was beautifully decorated in a 19th century style. The only downfall of the venue was the fact that there was only a very basic kitchen so catering had to be outsourced.

  At 7:55pm I found myself standing outside the service entrance to the kitchen of the Town Hall. I was trying to keep myself from view as the event had a surprising amount of security. I had texted Jen from the cab telling her I was there.

  God, I hoped she got the message soon; my balls were about to freeze off.

  I saw the handle of the door turn quietly followed by Jen’s head sticking out.

  “Cinderella!” she called.

  “Here, Pumpkin” I said as I stepped out of my hiding place behind the restaurant’s van.

  “Come on, hurry up before my Dad comes back!”

  I rushed through the door into the blissful heat of the hall. Jen handed me an apron to wear as a disguise until she could get me to a spot where I wouldn’t be seen by any of the kitchen staff.

  She led me away from the kitchen to a disused room at the back of the building.

  “You can take that thing off now,” she said, indicating towards the apron.

  “Are you ready?” she asked.

  I gulped, and shook my head. “Not in the slightest. But I’m already here, might as well make a fool out of myself.”

  She smiled, “Okay, right they are still only serving drinks now, dinner is very soon so if you want me to get that note to him, now would be the time.”

  “Right” I said as I reached into my suit pocket and pulled out the folded note I’d written earlier.

  She took it from my hand and was about to leave before I realized she’d forgotten to give me something.

  “Pumkin?”

  “Yes?”

  “Do you have the mask?”

  “Oh silly me!” She said as she blushed with embarrassment. She pulled out a beautiful but simple black and silver masquerade mask from her apron and handed it to me.

  “Thank you, so much for this.” I took a deep breath and laughed, “I honestly couldn’t be gladder that Tara insisted there be a masquerade theme on top of Winter Wonderland this year!”

  Jen giggled with me before saying, “I’d best get back before someone notices I’m gone. Good luck Cinderella. Remember to wait about a minute before following me and pause at the entrance to the main room until I give him the note. No one should bother you there, you’ll just look like a student trying to get some air,”

  “Okay. Wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

  I really couldn’t. I was so panicky; it felt as if my brain function was on standby.

  I can do this; I can do this, I. Can. Do. This!

  Seriously, what was the worst that could happen?

  He could probably knock me out with one punch…

  No more time left to panic, it was time to move. I made my way out of the small dusty room and down the empty corridor into the kitchen. I rushed through; trying to stay out of the way of all the staff then swung opened the saloon style door and stood against the wall just beside it. My heart was beating incredibly fast, my entire body was shaking and I was breathing too much, too fast and was already feeling light headed.

  I saw Jen move from the drinks table across the floor with what looked like a glass of coke on her tray. I looked around for Brad; he was standing in a group of his football friends engaged in what looked to be a very relaxed conversation.

  I suddenly wondered if nothing more would come out of tonight than him hating me for doing this at his prom?

  He was dressed in a beautiful and very expensive looking suit with a lovely silk blue dress shirt that clung to his body. He, unlike quite a few of the students, still had his mask on. It was black and trimmed with the same blue of his shirt, obviously Tara’s influence.

  Jen was only a few feet away from him now as she moved through the crowd of celebrating seniors. I had to fight the urge to close my eyes as I saw her approach Brad.

  “Excuse me,” She said loudly.

  “Yes?” At first it was obvious he didn’t recognize her.

  “Brad, here is the drink you ordered”

  He looked confused but played along, “Great,” he said and nodded as she carefully handed him the glass. I didn’t see the note going into his palm first, but I knew it was there.

  “Thanks Jen,” he said quietly before shifting the sweating beverage into his left hand and casually putting his right hand into his pocket.

  He pardoned himself from his group and strolled over to a table where he put his drink down then retrieved the note from his pocket. As he opened it, I moved from my place against the wall and slowly made my way towards Brad as he started to read my words.

  Brad,

  To begin with I wanted to say hello and that I hope you’re having a lovely evening so far. Also, I know I told you I wouldn’t be here tonight, but that wasn’t exactly the truth. However, let me explain some things to you first.

  This is very difficult to write, as I have no idea how
to say what I want you to know. I suppose I’ll just try and if it sounds a little awkward, please forgive me, I’m a bit jittery about the whole thing.

  I want you to know that you are wonderful, in every possible way. You’re astonishingly gorgeous, good at everything and even though you are a bit self-important you’re still a sincere person. I know our ‘whatever-you’d-call-it’ has been a bit weird and confusing for you (and for me too!) but I want you to know that I do understand your reasons for acting the way you have in the past. However, I think it’s time you grew a set. You’re a man now; you don’t have to answer to anybody – especially not to a father who isn’t worth your time.

  I’m begging you to consider your future and think about whether you’re always going to be afraid of him, afraid of who you are and always hiding or are you going to follow your heart for once instead of trying to please everyone around you?

  If you decide the latter please know I’ll always be there for you in whatever capacity you need me to be. If you go with the first option, this’ll probably be the end of our friendship as I’ll more than likely have to move schools because I’m not particularly fond of public humiliation.

  You know that I like you, you know that you make me hot all over, you know that I think you’re one of the greatest guys on the planet but the one thing you don’t know is that..

  (LOOK UP!)

  I saw his head snap upwards, his eyes meeting mine for and instant through our respective masks before he looked at my hands and the sign I was holding.

  ‘I LOVE YOU.’

  His eyes bulged as he looked around the room. There were a few people watching me, as I’d been standing there for a solid minute holding that sign but most of the students were still oblivious to our situation.

  His breathing started becoming rapid as he stood up. From behind him one obnoxious girl had finally understood what was going on and screamed out “OH MY GOD” loud enough for the entire room to hear. The quickly followed stunned silence was deafening as I waited for a reaction from Brad.

  The previous outburst had garnered more attention on Brad and I, and I could tell he was panicking inside. But what would he do? Would he punch me, call me a faggot then laugh about it with his friends or would he stop playing games with himself, and me, and be a man?