by K. M. Raya
“Holy crap, Wyatt, you…” I nearly choke on the emotion clogging my throat and it’s kind of embarrassing. “You came back…”
I can feel the rumble in his chest, and I know he’s laughing. It’s a hysterical, relieved sort of laugh and his arms shake as he squeezes me tighter. “Of course I did, baby girl, what did you expect, I’d run off and pretend you were dead?”
“Well, when you put it like that…” I stammer. Pushing off his chest, I frown up at him. “And don’t call me baby girl, it’s degrading.” I don’t know how I can joke at a time like this, but it just rolls out. My whole body is still shaking, but I can breathe a little better now that I’m no longer stuffed in that closet.
He laughs again, but he’s cut off when Dante shoves him out of the way and rushes at me. I’m ready for the impact this time, so I just let it happen. He wraps his arms around me, lifting me from the ground before twirling me around in a circle. “Holy fuck, girl, I thought you were zom chow!”
Laughing, I regain my balance when he sets me down, but just barely. “We almost were.” Turning back around I watch as Alex staggers to his feet, his head wound clotted. He’s got a massive bruise on the right side of his face where he hit the wall, and I bet he’ll have a headache for the next week. His lips, however, are still visibly swollen from our… earlier activities, and I feel my cheeks heat, wondering just how much the others saw.
Alex looks to Dante, and to my surprise, cracks a grin. “What, I don’t get spun around too? Honestly, dude, where’s the love?” His arms are out wide, and his eyes sparkle. My belly flutters, having never seen this side of the pissy, brooding man.
With a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes, Dante then rushes at Alex, who squeals comically as he’s lifted in the air and twirled around just like I was. They look ridiculous, but right now, the amount of relief I’m feeling is indescribable. A few moments ago, I felt the most fear I’ve ever felt. I’m surprised I didn’t soil myself. I’ve come close to death in the past, especially after all this apocalypse nonsense, but it’s never been quite that stark. The fear is never that all-consuming. I guess when you have the time to sit in the dark and contemplate all the different ways your body is about to be used as a chew toy, it starts to put things into perspective a little.
Next, to my surprise, Ret pushes her way over. I hadn’t seen her over there by the door. The relief and happiness I feel when I see her sends little butterflies shooting through my stomach, and all I can see suddenly are flashes of her dark skin with rivulets of water running over smoothly. I can feel phantom fingers running through my hair and have to shake myself away from the images. I don’t know what it is about that woman that sets me on edge, but I don’t dislike the feeling. She pulls me towards her, hugging me tight to her chest as I breathe in her soft scent. Her hair is down today, and the long strands brush my cheek, making my stomach do backflips.
Ret pulls back, placing her hands on my shoulders and ducking her head down to look in my eyes. Her brown ones are so full of emotion, but I can’t pinpoint what it is, I can only stare. “You had us worried shitless.”
Smiling flatly, I try to seem as nonchalant as possible, but I know it’s useless. “I’m sorry, I thought this would go much smoother…”
She grins, flashing those pearly whites that set off her tanned skin perfectly. “Next time you decide to go on a suicide mission, I’m coming with.” She leans forward, pulling me closer again, before placing a small kiss on my cheek. My eyes widen, and my thighs tingle. Such a strange, warm feeling as she brings her lips to my ear. “Promise me you’ll be more careful, because I’m coming after you every fucking time, and I really like being alive.” Leaning back, she moves her hand to my face, and tucks a strand of pale hair behind my ear. The gesture is so tender, it takes me aback for a minute, and all I can manage to do is nod like a dumbass.
A throat clears behind me, and I whip around almost guiltily, only to see the three men standing there, eyes bouncing between Ret and I knowingly. I feel my cheeks heat again, so I just shrug it off and shake my head. Looking to Wyatt I ask, “Since these guys are here, I’m assuming you went for help. Please tell me you got the meds to Nina.”
He nods before walking over, placing a hand on my upper arm and squeezing. “I gave them to Missy. Hopefully they’ll kick in soon. We should be heading back now before any more zoms show up and we get stuck in here.”
Nodding, I bend back down in the closet and pick up mine and Alex’s masks, handing him his and strapping mine on my face securely. His eyes connect with mine, shining with something weird, but I don’t have time to pick apart his emotions right now.
☣
Hot water runs over my body in rivulets of red and brown, and I watch it travel down until it swirls to the drain, disappearing before being replaced with something fresh. Idly, I can’t help but wonder whose blood I’m washing off. Who did it belong to? What were they before they turned into a monster?
These kinds of thoughts keep me awake more often than not. I know it’s not healthy, and that I should go back to thinking of them as beasts rather than something that used to be a person, but I can’t help it. After a fight, all I ever manage to do is think and think some more until I drive myself crazy. Sometimes I think of Liam, and the last time I saw a spark of life in his eyes. I think about that last day of relative peace at that mall in Texas, when I let him, a man I barely knew hold me in his arms and tell me I’m special.
I think of him often, but then the memories come flooding right back in, and all I can see is the moment he changed. It happened right in front of me, and there was nothing I was willing to do to save him. Not after his betrayal. I didn’t know him all that well if you think about it. Our relationship was fleeting and nothing so profound. But in this new world, you can know someone for an hour and somehow they mean more to you than a person you’ve known your whole life. It’s just something that comes with the territory. It comes with relying on other people to keep you alive and knowing that we may be the last of us. You meet and somehow they become your entire world, if only for those fleeting moments.
I’ve started to think of these people and moments in my life as chapters now. Chapter one was saying goodbye to my family for the last time, not realizing I’d never see them again. Chapter two was finally being free with my two best friends, on the road and no longer bound by the constraints the military held us in. Chapter three was seeing the world fall while I stood by helplessly. Chapter four was meeting people along the way that made me realize that I can still be a hero, and that there was still something to fight for. But I suppose that chapter’s a long one this time, because I’m still here, making new alliances, and developing feelings that are still all too real for my liking.
When that closet door was opened today and I finally looked up into Wyatt's eyes, the feeling of coming home was so potent and hit me so forcefully that it actually made my heart ache. The big ole mountain man just sucks me in every time our eyes meet and makes me feel all warm inside. How can a person I only just met feel like my saving grace? I’ve never put all my faith in some other person, but being embraced like that by not one, but three people in the span of a minute like I’m some sort of precious commodity was something I don’t think I’ve ever felt. I don’t know what’s changing inside of me, but I don’t think I have the strength left in me to shy away.
My scalp starts to burn, and I jolt back into reality and realize I’ve been scrubbing vigorously for the last ten minutes. I should feel bad for wasting water, but I needed this. Today was rough. The scent of stock utility soap fills the room, but it smells so clean and fresh that I just want to revel in it a bit longer. But when I hear the locker room door squeak open, my whole body locks up.
“Knock, knock,” comes a deep voice from outside the shower wall. He raps his knuckles on the tiled wall. It’s Wyatt, I can tell from the richness of his voice and the slight drawl to his words. “That you in there, Hell?”
“Yeah, whats up?” I call back over the spray of the water, hoping he didn’t hear that little squeak in my voice.
I hear him clear his throat, wondering if he feels as awkward as I do right now. “I wanted to see how you’re doing… y’know, after today and all…” In my head I picture him rocking back on his heels, shoving his hands in his pockets nervously.
“Uh, I’m alright…” I stammer for the words I need, but I just feel like a dumb girl right now, with the guy I’m crushing on not three feet from my nakedness. “Just another day in the apocalypse.”
He huffs a deep laugh, and I hear a rustling of clothing and I imagine he’s sitting down on the bench seat. “Helana, I…” he stops. He seems to be searching for something profound to say, and my heart lurches.
“Wyatt,” I almost whisper, sticking my head around the corner. “You obviously have something on your mind. Now’s not the time to be shy.” Raising an eyebrow, I meet his blue eyes and smile. He looks freshly showered as well, his sand colored hair falling in waves to his shoulders and his beard looks nicely trimmed up.
He smiles softly. “You know I didn’t leave you today, right?”
My shoulders droop. “Of course, I know… why would you think that?”
I hear him sigh and my heart clenches for him. “Just making sure… I tried to get back, but there were just too many of them. I knew we needed help, but I just don’t want you thinkin I bailed on you or anything. You said Nina needed those meds and…”
“Wyatt,” I stop him from finishing that sentence, turning the water off. I’m silent for a moment while I dry myself in the stall and wrap the towel around my body. Stepping out of the shower, I watch him in amusement as he attempts to avert his eyes. He’s such a gentleman.
“Wyatt,” I say again. Turning his head slowly, he looks at me, eyes roving from my toes up to my head, and I know I’m not imagining the way his pupils expand, darkening his navy gaze. He clears his throat, and his adam's apple bobs like he’s unsure what to say, so I just do it for him. “Stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault. If you hadn’t gone back for help, Alex and I would be dead right now. You got there just in time, and I can never thank you enough for it.” Stopping in front of his perch on the wooden bench, my legs are close enough to brush his knees. Taking a chance, I reach out, running my fingers over his beard. He closes his eyes, letting me cup the side of his face.
“What are you doing?” he whispers.
“Thanking you…”
“What…” I cut him off as I lean down and press my lips to his. The scratch of his facial hair feels weirdly great against my skin, making me press in harder. He doesn't try to fight it, instead, his arms come around me, just like they had earlier, only this time, there’s much less material keeping the two of us apart. He feels so good, and tastes like mint toothpaste as his tongue invades my mouth. For a brief instant, Alex’s face flashes before my eyes, and memories of that frantic kiss in the broom closet nearly stop me in my tracks. But why should I stop? Why should I stop myself from taking something that makes me happy?
This life is hard, and I can’t remember the last time I felt real happiness, so I’m going to take my pleasure where I can, and remain completely unapologetic about it while I’m at it. Wyatt pulls back briefly, eyes flitting between mine. His rough hands slide up my arms. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, if you aren't sure…”
“I don’t do anything unless I’m sure,” I tell him with a smile. His eyes go back to my lips, and his hands circle my hips, kneading my warm skin until his fingers creep up under the towel near my thigh. “If you don’t want this, Wyatt, say something now, because I’m here and so are you, and I plan to take full advantage of that.”
“You're serious…” he whispers, face inching closer to mine. His fingers dig into my skin now, and I can tell he’s holding back.
“Deadly,” I whisper, eyes on fire as his arm muscles tense and release.
Palms sliding over my skin, Wyatt tugs me forward until I’m nearly toppling into his lap. Straddling him, I can feel every hard line of his body and crave to get even closer. We pay no mind to the locker room door, relying on luck and hope alone that no one decides they need to shower right now. Even then, I can’t say it would even stop me.
My body feels like it’s on fire as his fingers wander over my thighs, igniting my skin as he goes. His lips trail over my neck and I lean my head back, tipped towards the ceiling with my eyes closed, reveling in the soft feel of his lips and small nips of his teeth as they graze my throat. Sliding my hands up his massive shoulders, I can’t help but do what I’ve imagined doing since I laid eyes on the viking man. I grip his long hair, eliciting a rumble from deep in his chest that has my core tightening and my thighs tingling.
His touch gets rougher as he moves his mouth back to my lips. Our tongues clash expertly, but soon I feel myself being lifted from my seated position as Wyatt scoops me up in his arms. I can’t help the slight yelp that slips past my lips as he maneuvers me. It’s only now that I realize just how massive a man he is. He handles me like I’m made of feathers with his arms built like boulders and his barrel of a chest. Butterflies erupt in my abdomen when he lays me across the bench, settling himself between my legs.
I feel like squirming, needing him to touch me. He looks up, blue eyes dark and full of so much want it makes me salivate. “I’m going to fuck you, Helana. It’s not going to be slow, I’m sorry. I can’t do slow right now, it’s been…”
“I don’t need slow.” His eyes lower to my lips when I smirk evilly. “We need to be fast, or someones going to catch us doing something embarrassing.”
He chuckles, and the sound fills me with warmth. It only takes him seconds to unravel my towel, ripping it off of me before tossing it to the floor. I’m naked before him, spread out and not hiding anything, but I couldn’t care less. I’ve got bruises, cuts and scars decorating my whole body, but I wear them proudly.
Wyatt frowns, seemingly examining my scars, and for a horrible moment, I clam up a little, feeling doubt sink in for the very first time. But when he looks up, a smile plays on his lips. “I knew you had tattoos, I saw them on your wrist when we first met, but I never imagined this…”
His eyes wander over my torso, which happens to be covered in a mural of tattoos from my right thigh all the way up to my collar bone. Instead of looking put off, he just studies each piece of art, as if he’s fascinated. Relief like I’ve never felt before surges through me. He’s not disgusted with my oddities. I don’t know why I ever let that thought sink in.
“I had an amazing artist back home in Nevada,” I whisper, knowing I’m revealing a lot just by telling him where home is, but I don’t care. Right now I trust Wyatt, and I can’t say that about very many people these days. “Took years to finish, and some are just cover ups after a few drunken botch jobs in Japan, but I love them… they're a little reminder of home.”
He raises a golden eyebrow, running his fingers over the swirls of color that trail over my rib cage. “What were you doing in Japan?”
My whole body freezes. I let that slip so easily. But then again, why am I even hiding it? What’s the harm in him knowing a little something about me? I need to take a chance. Clearing my throat, I decide to just tell him the truth. “So there’s something you don’t know about me… actually, something about me, Nina and Missy.”
He shakes his head. “Look, if it’s something personal, don’t feel obligated to…”
“No, it’s okay,” I assure him with a smile. “It’s not a big deal or anything, but the three of us used to be in the military. Marines, to be more specific.”
His eyes widen, almost comically. Pulling back, he lifts himself up on his elbow and scans me from head to toe, almost in disbelief. “Are you serious?”
Frowning, I scoot up slightly. “Once a Marine, always a Marine, but yeah. I got out a few months before the bombs dropped…” I study his re
action closely, hoping I didn’t say something wrong. “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner, but sometimes people treat us differently when they find out we’re military. Sometimes they treat us like all this is our fault.”
Wyatt’s eyes soften and he reaches up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, reminding me of the way Beretta did back at the hospital. “Why would I be upset about that? You don’t owe me anything, Helana. You don’t owe any of us anything, but I appreciate you telling me. Helps me understand you a little better.”
My whole body relaxes in stark relief. It’s always a gamble, we get mixed reactions every time one of us reveals who we are. I can’t even count the times we’ve been straight up blamed for this whole catastrophe. I get it, though, people want someone to point a finger at, and chemical warfare just reeks of military interference… not our military, but all the same to everyone else, I guess.
Wyatt gets a darker look in his eyes, once again, eyes bouncing between mine and my lips. His hands slide up my thighs as he pulls me closer. “What happened to ‘we need to hurry?’”
Glancing towards the door is involuntary, but Wyatt reaches out, grabbing my chin between his fingers, turning my attention back to him and capturing my lips with his. After that is a frenzy. Before I know it I’m clawing his shirt off, tossing it on the floor with my discarded towel. I don’t even have time to marvel at his bare chest or count the amount of abs I see, but I’m sure the image will haunt my dreams for years to come.
